Idris finishes wallpapering the kitchen on schedule. The following Sunday is Jean’s eighteenth birthday. He takes her down to the lakeshore for an ice cream and persuades her to take off her shoes and stockings and walk with him barefoot in the sand.
Just like on her sixteenth birthday, he pushes her on the Ocean Wave and as the ride dips and rises he watches how her hair blows in the breeze. He is glad that she has not followed the increasing fashion for short shingled hair and that her hair is still long.
He helps her get off the ride. She is still dizzy. Laughing, she leans against him and he stops and turns towards her.
“Will you marry me, Jean?”
She does not seem surprised at the proposal, but looks at him calmly.
“I have loved you almost from the first day we met and have hoped since you came to Oshawa that you and I might reach this point someday. Hoped it more than anything else in the world. But I must ask you something before I answer. May I?”
“Of course.”
“Do you love Maggie, still?”
“A small part of me will always love her, yes, but the rest of me…the rest of me loves only you Jean.”
“Are you sure?”
Idris looks in her eyes, slowly lifts his finger and then draws a cross in the air over his heart. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“In that case Idris, yes. Yes, I will marry you.”
Chapter 23
Gareth is glad of all the distraction of preparing for the trip to Toronto. Rachel and Eloise have put together a long list of things that must be done or washed or bought before she goes. The list includes inviting Liam and his parents round for a drink one evening.
“We can’t just send our daughter off with their son for a month without meeting them, can we?” Rachel had insisted when Gareth had protested this was unnecessary. “It’s just a drink, not a wedding rehearsal supper.”
Liam’s parents turn out to be as good-natured as their son. The four of them drink a bottle and a half of excellent Rioja between them and agree affably that their offspring are about to have a great adventure together and that yes of course Liam will take good care of Eloise. After they’ve gone, Rachel and Gareth share the remaining half of the bottle.
“There’s a lot of subtext packed into taking good of care her isn’t there?” Gareth says.
“Our daughter can take good care of herself, don’t you worry.” Rachel replies.
Each night before she leaves, Rachel and Eloise stay up late, working their way through the rest of the list and that allows Gareth to slink off and pretend to be asleep already when Rachel comes up to bed. He gets up every morning before she wakes up and goes running, staying out longer than usual so she is already up and dressed by the time he gets back. In this way he is able to limit intimate contact with her. The way Gareth is feeling at the moment if Rachel were to try to make love with him, he knows he would not be able to.
Because all he can think about is making love with Cassandra again. He burns with a lust laced with guilt that leaves him constantly swashing with shame and a desire so strong that he only has to think of her to feel himself stir. For the first day after returning to Canada she ignores his texts. On the second day he sends her a message
I miss you so much I can’t sleep. How is that possible when I’ve only just met you?
This one gets a response
I miss you that much too.
And shortly after that she sends him a photograph of her breasts. She is wearing a black lacy bra. The image excites him so much he has to go have a wank in the bathroom.
He tells her as much by text.
Gareth becomes a secretive texter, taking his phone with him to the bathroom or out on his runs, constantly checking for messages from Cassandra, deleting the messages hastily once he has sent them, his heart still thumping with excitement.
“You’re worse than the kids,” Rachel comments one evening. “Who are you talking to?”
“Just work.” But he is a little more careful after that.
At long last, it is the night before they are leaving very early the next morning. It is time for the little piles of clean, ironed clothes and plastic bags full of purchases from Boots that have been laid out along the landing to be packed away in Eloise’s suitcase. For some reason, Rachel has insisted that everyone should gather on the landing to witness this.
“I’m sure that if I should suffer from diarrhoea while I’m in Toronto I’ll be able to buy Immodium there Mum. And I haven’t taken Calpol since I was 12.”
“Better safe than sorry,” Rachel mutters, checking items off her list furiously.
Nora has selected one of her favourite Beanie Boos to go to Toronto with Eloise. She pushes a pink striped fox into Eloise’s hands.
“Something to remember me by,” she says dramatically, gulping down tears.
“Oh but you love this one Nonnie, I can’t take it with me, you’ll miss it too much.”
“I’m going to miss you more.”
This makes Eloise cry and, in turn, all the other girls, even Iris who hardly ever cries.
“Good heavens, girls,” Gareth says, “she’s only going for a month. She’s not emigrating for good you know.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Rachel retorts, angrily. “You get to drop her off and then swan around Toronto for who knows how long afterwards while the rest of us are stuck here. And my mother has announced she and Felix are coming to visit because Grace is here and you’re away which means she tells me that they can have our bedroom and I can have Eloise’s.”
“I would hardly call it swanning around Rachel. Don’t pick a fight with me because you’re upset Eloise is going away. It’s just work.”
“Well it’s a darn sight more interesting work than I’ve got on at the moment. Maybe we should all come with you now that school’s finished. We could make it our summer holiday and skip Tresaith this year. And it gets us out of a visit from my mother. Grace, you could come with us if you want.”
Grace nods eagerly.
“Can we Dad, can we please,” begs Nora. “It would be so much fun.”
Gareth goes sweaty with panic. He can’t think of an answer quick enough that will prevent this idea from gaining steam because it is, after all, exactly the sort of thing that up until a week ago he might have suggested. When he says nothing, Eloise steps in.
“No way! This is my adventure – me and Liam’s – it’s bad enough Dad’s got to tag along for the start of it but there’s no bloody way the rest of you are muscling in on things.”
Gareth manages to collect himself. “And it won’t be any sort of a holiday for me, stuck in meetings all day.”
“OK, fine, it was just a thought,” Rachel sighs, bending to scoop up Jake who has curled up inside Eloise’s suitcase and is trying to hide under a pile of t-shirts. “Right you lot, give Eloise and your Dad a kiss goodnight, they’ll be gone in the morning when you wake up.”
“Do I get any help packing my suitcase?” Gareth asks.
“No,” they all say in unison.
*
At Heathrow airport, Gareth reveals that he has a business class ticket whereas Eloise and Liam are in economy.
“That’s just selfish Dad!” Eloise complains.
“I didn’t order the tickets, Perfect did. Nothing to do with me. And anyway, you don’t want your old Dad sitting in between you and Liam here, getting in the way of love’s young dream, do you?”
“If you’d rather spend some quality time with your daughter Mr Maddox, I don’t mind swapping seats with you.”
“Very gracious of you Liam, I’m sure. And please call me Gareth. It just makes me feel old when you call me Mr Maddox. Why don’t you two go find yourselves something to eat? Here’s £20. I’m off to the business club lounge to do a bit of work before the flight. I’ll see you when we’re boarding.”
Gareth contemplates accepting the glass of champagne he is offered on entering the lounge but decides it
is just too early and goes for a double espresso instead. He logs into the wifi and as his emails download, he spots instantly that there are a number from Cassandra. Most are her responses to emails he has sent her, giving her input on documents he’s drafted. One is marked personal.
“I have arranged for the three of you to be picked up by a car at the airport. The car will take Liam and Rachel to the apartment and there’ll be someone from the letting agency I use waiting for them there to let them in and show them round. The car will then take you immediately to the Fairmont Royal York where I’ve booked a room for you. I will meet you there. I can’t wait.”
Gareth immediately deletes the email in case Celia reads it and adjusts his trousers to accommodate the beginnings of a hard on. He is already feeling rather odd down there. This morning during his early morning shower and already thinking about Cassandra’s exciting strip of pubic hair that he will see again soon, he had on a whim grabbed Rachel’s razor and given himself for the first time ever a little trim. He had been very impressed with his first attempt at this as he thought it made his dick look bigger. But by now it is a little itchy. It is going to be a long flight.
*
The Annex area of Toronto turns out to be a neighbourhood of tree-lined one-way streets of Edwardian and Victorian houses, mostly red brick with bay windows and tall, pointed, gables.
“It’s so lovely round here,” Eloise says, as they pull up outside one of these houses.
“It looks an awful lot like Penarth really,” Liam comments.
“Possibly. But in Penarth we live with our parents and here we live with each other,” Eloise says, smugly. She waits for her father to respond with a groan or a swat across the head but he appears not to have heard.
A smiling letting agency looking person with a clipboard standing on the street waves at the car.
Gareth knows that really he should get out of the car and escort his first-born into the apartment where she is going to be living with her boyfriend for the next month, but he can only think of Cassandra waiting for him at the hotel.
“OK this must be you,” he says, curtly. “Out you get. I’ll give you a call this evening. Hurry up now. I’m late for my meeting. Have fun settling in.”
Before he arrives at the hotel he texts Rachel quickly, so that the job is out the way and he need not think about it while he is with Cassandra.
All arrived, Eloise safely delivered, meeting now, call you tomorrow, love you.
Seconds later his phone pings, delivering a row of kisses. xxxx
*
He actually feels a little lightheaded, knocking on the door of the suite in the Fairmont Royal York. Partly jet lag, partly due to having had a hard on stirring for most of the day.
He opens the door with his key card and there she is, lying naked on the bed waiting for him. She says nothing, just puts her finger to her lips signalling to him to keep quiet, and pats the bed next to her.
*
All the time that Gareth has been away from Cassandra, counting down the days until this one, he has been preparing the questions he wants to ask her about her girlfriend. Is it a long-term thing? Has Cassandra always liked both men and women? Which does she prefer?
But while he and Cassandra make love he forgets all about these questions and loses himself in how she feels against him and around him and on top of him.
*
“Wake up, Gareth. You need to start thinking about getting in the shower.”
“Uh?” For a moment Gareth thinks he is in his bed at home, dreaming of Cassandra, before he realises he is in a hotel room and that Cassandra is there with him stroking his arm.
“What’s happening?”
“We’re going over to the apartment in the Annex for drinks with Eloise and Liam.”
Now he is wide-awake. “We are absolutely not going to do that.” He makes quote marks with his fingers and attempts a female Canadian voice, “Oh hello Eloise and your boyfriend Liam, you’ve probably been fucking all afternoon, like me and your dad here.” He reverts to his own accent. “That’s bizarre.”
“No more than you having me round for Sunday supper with your family or your daughter and her boyfriend working for me this summer and living in my apartment. Compartmentalise Gareth, please. And you’d better be good at it. My girlfriend is joining us and we’re picking her up on the way over. We live just a few blocks away from the apartment.”
“What the fuck, Cassandra. That’s not just bizarre, that’s twisted.”
“No it’s not. My girlfriend is Beverley Allen, also my business partner in Perfect. She wants to meet this Welsh lawyer I’ve been emailing so much and meet his daughter.”
“Does she know we’re sleeping together?”
“Of course she fucking doesn’t. She thinks that I’m her lesbian girlfriend of twenty years and faithful. She thinks that what you and me have been doing all afternoon is working on legal agreements, not on each other. Remember that.”
“I don’t want to do this, Cassandra. I think it’s a really bad idea.”
“Tough shit. You have to. Now come on, let’s go get in the shower, I’m going to tidy up that appalling hack job you did on your poor bush – what did you use? A Bic?”
*
The letting agent lady doesn’t hang around long. She hands Liam and Eloise a set of keys each and her business card and tells them that there are instructions inside the apartment as to how everything works and to ring her if they have any problems. Then she leaves them to it.
The apartment is on the very top floor of one of the red brick Victorian houses, up two flights of stairs. Liam struggles with the lock for a few seconds until he finds the right pressure to use and then the door opens easily onto an open plan living/kitchen area with large bay windows that let in lots of light. The apartment has parquet wooden floors, white painted woodwork and the walls are painted a soft, dove grey throughout. There is a lot of artwork on the walls – landscapes mostly in bright colours – orange, purple, and greens – more vibrant than real life.
Liam whistles softly. “Nice,” he says appreciatively.
“Very nice,” Eloise agrees.
They check out the living room that has two large squashy sofas and a low wooden coffee table.
“No telly?” Liam questions.
Eloise opens the door of a French looking white painted armoire revealing a large television and DVD concealed inside.
The kitchen area has a small wooden table that would sit four at a push, covered in a white tablecloth embroidered with small yellow flowers. On it, there is a note from Cassandra.
Welcome to the Annex. I hope you will enjoy your stay here. There are some basic provisions in the refrigerator for you and also the fixings for champagne cocktails because my business partner and I, Beverley, are going to be your first guests in your new place and are coming round for drinks at 7pm. We’ll bring Gareth along too. Make yourselves comfortable and see you later.
She has added a smiley, winking face next to her signature.
They rush around opening all the other doors in the apartment. The bathroom has an old-fashioned roll top bath and white tiles with a blue fleur-de-lys pattern. One small bedroom is being used as a study and is lined with bookshelves. It has a large wooden desk and two old fashioned wooden filing cabinets. And there is one large bedroom, containing a modern king-size bed made up with white linen, bedside tables either side with a lamp on each and large wardrobes running all along one wall.
Liam and Eloise hesitate at the door of this one.
“Right then,” Eloise says, grinning, “I bagsy this one. You can kip on the sofa.”
“I will if you’d like me to,” Liam says, gently. “We don’t have to share a bed.”
“Oh but I want to,” Eloise says firmly. “Very much. It’s just I don’t want to share a bed with you right this very minute, if you know what I mean. It would feel all wrong. And my Dad’s coming round for drinks later, apparently…” She fades out.
Liam pulls Eloise towards him and hugs her.
“I agree, all wrong. There’s no rush Eloise, we’re here for a whole month. I fancy you like mad, you know that, fancied you the whole of my last year in school but you never noticed. But I wasn’t actually hoping we’d crack on with having sex the second your dad left. We don’t have to do anything. Not until you want to.”
Eloise looks visibly relieved. “Are you OK with that?”
“Of course I am. So, how about we go out for a walk and explore? Maybe get an ice cream or something.”
“Great idea.”
*
In his rush to get to Cassandra, Gareth had paid no attention to the location of the Fairmont Royal York and if anyone had asked him a few hours ago what it looked like he could not have told them. Now while he and Cassandra wait for her car to be brought round to her, and Gareth tries very hard to compartmentalise as instructed, he sees they are directly opposite the train station and that the CN tower is very close by. He cranes his neck up at the hotel, squinting in the afternoon sunshine.
“When was this hotel built? 1930s?”
“Close. It opened in 1929.”
“It’s impressive now but it must have been something else back then.”
“It was indeed. The tallest building in the British Empire when it was built. There’s a rooftop garden on the 14th floor where they grow herbs and there are beehives too. Car’s here.
“Now don’t forget. You’re Perfect’s lawyer. You’re a good lawyer. We spent all afternoon together working. No long looks, no touching, no in-jokes. Just business. Got it?”
“Got it. Don’t worry. My daughter’s going to be there, too, remember.”
“I mean it Gareth. I don’t want Beverley to suspect anything. We’ve been together a very long time, since I first graduated from fashion college and got a job at Perfect as an intern. It was just a start up back then. Beverley was the boss and 15 years older than me and up until I met her I’d only ever been with men and it had never crossed my mind I might fancy a woman. But she – well, she just blew my mind – she was so talented and driven and so very beautiful and she was absolutely determined to have me, even though I was so much younger than her and it wasn’t the done thing to sleep with a junior member of staff.”
Thicker Than Water Page 22