That thought somehow brings warmth to my heart. “Wow… What about Daddy?”
“One of the best men in the whole world? Yeah, he knew. He knew and waited patiently for me to see that John was not the one for me.”
“No way! My parents were a part of a love triangle?”
“Maybe it’s something all teenagers have to experience. The important thing is, it all worked out the way it should—until I lost your daddy.” Remarkably, my mother smiles. “Oh, girl, your daddy and I had over twenty-two powerful years together. I’m so thankful for every moment of his love.”
“So there are different ways to love?”
“Oh, yes. With your daddy, it was the strongest. I thought it was John, but your father was my true soul mate.” Tears choke her.
My head leans to hers. “I miss him.”
She swallows hard and speaks like the strong woman I believe her to be. “Your father is a man worth missin’. There will never be another.”
“And Mr. Hayes?”
“Oh, baby, that… that’s two lost souls who miss their other halves. He lost Eve, his son’s mother. I wish it on no one. Our friendship and admiration for each other’s strengths is what will see us through. We both understand that neither of us can fill an un-fillable void. The comfort that we’re not alone in such pain—” My mama gets too upset to continue. After a moment, she changes the subject. “Do you love Gunner?”
I nod, distant in thought.
“If you’re wondering if there’s more to love, you’re not in the kind of love that will fill you with passion and wonder, especially through the hard times.”
Mama has been sick for so long that I forgot about the insight that makes her unique. My eyes fill with emotion as I stare at her in amazement. At this very moment, I know she will understand what I have to say next. “Mom? I feel like… I’m… haunted by a man, one I want dearly. I wasn’t sure what I was missing ’til what happened last night.”
Her cool fingers hold my face along with her eyes. “Then find him, baby.”
I begin to cry as I speak like a scared child. “How, Mama? And what about Gunner?”
Mama pulls me into her arms. “My sweet child. Always taking care of others, even Gunner’s heart. That boy ain’t going nowhere without you. His daddy and I talk about it all the time. You two are lifers! But there comes a time in a woman’s life when she needs to allow herself what she needs.” She kisses me. “Follow your heart. It won’t lead you astray. Gunner’s will go where it belongs. He will find his way, too. I did.”
My arms beg for her reassurance, and my mama holds me like only mamas can. “I’m not crazy?”
Her chuckle lightens the serious tone of our talk. “Well, I don’t know if we can say that.”
“Mama!”
Her hand touches her chest. “But you are special, and you have a lifetime ahead of you.”
Taking Mama’s talk to heart, I give into the pull to be in the woods and get ready to go. My camera was a Christmas gift from Daddy before he got sick. I haven’t held it in over a year. Daddy knew to become a photographer was a serious dream of mine. The next Christmas, the last year I received a gift from him, he gave me a laptop to organize and view all my pictures. My father passed away that year.
I grab my dusty camera bag and head downstairs, trying to ignore how every object looks different to me. The stair railing has wooden grooves I’ve never noticed before. My stairs somehow seem sturdier, wiser. I’m losing my mind.
Entering the kitchen, I see and feel how warm the kitchen is, and I don’t mean temperature. I mean love. The large kitchen—the heart of the house—is full of love. I sense the caring touches Mama has put into every meal she has made with pride for her family. I study Mama and am stunned. She is a sight. She has a glowing shield around her. Light comes off her body in little waves. “Mama?”
She touches my face. “Yes, baby?”
I grab her hand and press it to my cheek. My eyes close with gratitude for her healing. The heart in my chest pounds for my life coming back together. “It—it’s just… You’re going to be okay. I can truly see that now.”
Chapter Eleven
Ryder
I think I’m close to death. Thoughts of Rose get me through. Movements are urgent as everyone rushes around me. Warriors are hard to kill, but it’s not impossible. Apologies are given as I flinch with every touch. I’m not even on a hanging cot in Crystal’s healing tent. They cleared a wooden table and placed me on it. Finished with one battle, I face another. My life is on the line.
Crystal’s hands move at an alarming speed. “He’s coughing up blood… internal injuries… ”
My head, dazed in a fog, makes it harder to know who talks next.
“This arm needs to be reset before it heals this way.”
“Not near my priority list until I get this internal bleeding under control.”
“This is not internal. It is exposed.”
“He is bleeding heavily from this thigh wound.”
“He’s bleeding heavily everywhere.”
“I need an offering.”
My heart smiles as all my brothers volunteer their veins. Nora Sfkens, I want to give to him. But that isn’t possible. My blood is different from hers. Her offering is no surprise, and I am full of gratitude for her love. I am the closest she has to a child of her own. Nora and Hunter are not able to conceive.
“I know, Nora. Morning Star, I need Parker’s vein, and I need it now.”
“I have three broken ribs.”
“His shoulder is—damn, its open.”
“So is his stomach. Hand me that gauze. Here, push here…”
More words are shared. I feel pressure on my gut. “Uhhhh.”
Hunter looks down at me. “Sorry, my man. Doc’s orders.”
“Think… I will… make it?” I feel so tired and cold.
Parker is almost hostile as Morning Star connects our veins with a hollowed-out vine. “You’re going to live! You hear me?”
Parker’s brother understands his fear. “You won’t lose him, too.”
Parker nods to his brother then says to me in a kinder tone, “I need you to fight.”
I feel as though I have nothing left. I reflect, I need to rest.
Sage holds up a scarf. “Do you want to see Rose again?”
My heart tightens at the sight of something that has touched Rose’s soft skin. I reach for it, but I’m just too weak. Sage winds the scarf around my palm so I can hold Rose near. “Then fight.”
And that’s what it comes down to: Rose. Even from afar, Rose is what I live for. I nod, take a deep breath, and allow the pain from battle in so I can get it over with. We don’t use anesthesia. It has no effect on us. Instead, oils are rubbed on my temples, and Morning Star blows Valerian root smoke into my face so I can breathe in a cloud of herbs to put me in another state of mind and ease my pain. Inhaling the smoke this way would cause a chemical burn for most throats, but not for ours. Crystal works on my stomach. The hours are grueling as they creep by. Homemade needles reattach me. My eyes insist on closing on and off during the night.
I wake to the sun shining into the tent. The sun. I get to see it rise again. The warmth of the rays feeds my soul. Maybe Rose is seeing this sunrise and I’m not truly without her. I allow myself to believe I am reaching out to her and that she can sense me before I’m unconscious again.
I wake, screaming as someone works on my leg. The pain is excruciating! I see a flash of light through the blinding pain. Isolde appears over my head. “Rest. Rest my Ryder.”
When I wake again, I keep my eyes closed. I feel as if I am where I want to be, walking through the woods, appreciating my surroundings. Then I feel more prodding at my body. It’s not over yet?
No, hang in there, Ryd
.
I dare to open my eyes and look around. Everyone is still here, spattered with blood, yet no one has been bleeding but me. My blue blood lights up the whole tent.
Parker is still holding my hand. “I’m here, Ryder. You can do this.” I squeeze his hand in reply. Even with the exhausted people still working on me, I can’t help thinking of her. Parker’s hand makes a fist around my hand holding Rose’s scarf. “Fight for her, Ryder.”
Those words are a telltale sign I might still die.
The next time I wake is to words I could have done without. “His arm needs to be reset. Damn! The surgeries took too long. You Warriors heal so fast.”
“Crystal, you did the best you could. You had to save him first.” Sage is by his mate’s side. “This strong kid can handle it.”
Crystal looks shaky and pale, beyond tired but determined. “Okay. We move forward.” Her eyes come to mine with pity, and my vital fluid is smeared on her forehead. “Ryder, I need to re-break it. The break has joined together without being aligned properly.”
This kind of handicap would stop me from being a Guardian. Unacceptable. My heart races. Even though we have a high tolerance, I’ve been dealing with pain all through the night. This is not going to be pleasant. I feel my jaw tighten as I nod. “But my father is not to see this.”
Parker immediately argues. “I’m not leaving you—”
Hunter forces him to release my hand and pushes him toward the entrance. “Parker! The longer we wait, the worse it will be. Go. You are not stable enough to witness this. You have given much vital fluid.”
Parker won’t budge. Anger crosses his face. Nora approaches him with her unwavering elegance. “I won’t leave his side.”
Parker’s expression begs for mercy.
“I vow it, Parker.”
He inhales deeply then leaves.
Crystal looks at the Warriors. Hunter steps forward. He sounds like he might become ill. “I will help you.”
Sage, Chase, and Blaze all hold a part of me down. Morning Star holds my feet with her eyes closed, undoubtedly trying to send me strength. Nora approaches with sadness in her eyes. With a tender touch you would expect from a mother, Nora puts a stick in my mouth. I bite down, feeling Nora’s love as her hand rests on my forehead.
Everyone’s nerves are rattled from no sleep and much pressure saving my life. Crystal grabs my shoulder and upper arm tightly.
Hunter says, “Crystal, you’re not strong enough. I will pull you with him.”
She nods and looks at the other Guardians. Blaze pales but steps forward, taking her place. He takes hold of my shoulder. I won’t be moving under this determined grip. Hunter grabs the lower part of my arm, and they both look at me. Since I didn’t feel my arm break in the first place because of adrenaline, I try to amp it up again. I blow out quick breaths like I am getting ready for a deep dive into water. Nora and I are face to face.
“Look at me,” she says. “Look at me.”
I focus solely on Nora’s green eyes. “Do it.”
Hunter doesn’t wait one second for me to build up any more fear. He grunts as he pulls hard with lightning speed. Snap! My arm re-breaks. Hands hold me down as I yell and try to leap from the operating table. Crystal’s forehead races to mine. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Nora pulls the destroyed stick from my mouth. I’m breathless, trying to reassure Crystal. “It’s… okay. Had… to do it.”
Crystal kisses my forehead with love and gets back to work on my arm. I feel Hunter’s regret, so I reflect, Thank you for doing this. Thank you for being here for me.
I am so proud of you, kid. I’m going to check on Parker.
Nora wipes sweat from my face with pride in her eyes. Sleep, our brave Ryder.
My body willingly follows her command.
Raindrops fall on me as I lie in the forest. They’re cleansing. I watch the leaves blow while I stare into the tall trees I call home. When her face comes to view, I realize it isn’t rain. Rose is wiping me with a wet cloth. My chest aches to have her closer. I instinctively know she can bring me much-needed relief. Her presence can literally heal me by calming me, speeding up my recovery. “Rose.” She smiles at me. A desperation owns me as I call out again, “Rose.”
“Shhh, I’m here. I’m here.”
Grabbing at her hands, I say, “I need you.”
Continuing to bathe me, her smile is like that of an angel. “Shh, I’m here, looking for you.”
I’m confused because she’s right before me. “You’re looking for me?”
“Shh, you’re okay, Ryder.”
I can’t believe she’s actually saying my name. “Rose.”
“Shh, Ryder. Can you hear me?”
My eyes open to see Crystal is the only one with me. “Ryder? Can you see me?” She gently rubs a cloth down my cheeks. I’m painfully disappointed that it’s not Rose. I could’ve sworn I felt her, sensed her, smelled her.
“Have you slept?” I ask because Crystal looks awful, pale with cracked, dehydrated lips.
She shakes her head with a tender smile. “There is our male.”
“What do you mean?”
Her tired eyes well up. “It is in your nature to worry for others.”
I give her a little smile to help calm her nerves. “By the looks of you, Crystal, I’m not the only one worrying for others.” Tears fall as she rests her head on my tender shoulder.
“Where is everyone?”
Crystal kisses my broken arm, now in a sling. “Nora forced everyone to go rest.”
Just then, Nora walks in, almost chipper. “What did I do?”
My heart is so relieved to see her. I feel like a child in need of her motherly ways. Setting Rose free—not bringing her to the village—was the right thing to do, but it’s not the easiest. Needing her is becoming overwhelming, especially after sensing her in my dream.
Nora approaches with no words. She just takes hold of my hand that still holds Rose’s scarf and gives me what I need: love. Everything that has transpired through the night and this morning comes crashing down on me. I cling to Nora’s hand. “I hurt.”
Crystal gasps. “I thought you were comfortable. I can get more herbs—”
Nora interrupts, her eyes never leaving mine. “He hurts here.” Her palm touches my chest. “For the one he keeps calling to.”
I pull her hand to my face—the way Rose does to mine—and don’t feel as lonely, knowing Nora completely understands me. “I-I can hardly breathe without her.”
Nora takes a deep breath as if she, too, has experienced this. “When we Link, Ryder, we connect with our whole existence. Warriors? That much more so.”
Chapter Twelve
Rose
Never have I enjoyed taking pictures of leaves the way I do today. Every leaf on every tree is illuminated with life, and the serene sight makes me envy anyone who understood this beauty before I did. Other emotions captivate me as well: the gratitude of living. To be around life like this makes me feel, well, alive. Every cell in my being is being acknowledged for what it does for me, giving me substance, energy to see and feel even more.
Another breeze blows past me, like the one this morning through my window. Sensing a familiarity this time, I feel someone—or a part of someone—present. It’s almost as if an essence of a being is being shared, carried in the breeze. I realize the wind carries a message of sorts, a gift. Blue eyes flash before me, calling. The breeze blows again with a sensation of ultimate love, warming me to my core of who I am, always have been.
Suddenly, in the midst of so much pleasure, my arm feels like it has been brutally snapped apart. I scream as I fall back against a tree. Sam whimpers, sniffing me. Taking terrified deep breaths is all I can do to keep from passing out. Then, as my thigh did in the morn
ing, the pain evaporates. The pain passes like a ship in the night. One moment, the lighthouse sees the boat. The next it just slips into the darkness again.
Shell-shocked, I slide down the trunk of the tree, wondering what’s happening to me. Sam rests his head on my thigh. I smell an herbed smoke. My eyes become very heavy as if they’re no longer mine to control. The need to rest overwhelms me, so I surrender.
When I wake, I’m no longer leaning against a tree but lying next to it on my back with Sam by my side. Everything around me, the leaves on the ground, the wind blowing through the branches above me, are present, but there is more: a strong emotion again.
I see rainbow colors vibrating, floating to me almost like heat rising from scorching pavement in the summertime. Transparent colors drift through the air with purpose, a mystical postal service, bringing me my mail.
In something of a trance, I hear, Rose…
It isn’t the fact that I hear my name that stirs me. It’s the fact that whoever said it is someone I know. Know and have known. This is the same being I was with last night. I sense my stranger from the woods is no stranger at all.
Everything—doubts, mysteries, longings for more—is being answered with no answers at all. And everything inside me screams. My memories of what happened last night are so vague I’m not sure what he endured, but whatever happened, the ailments I have experienced throughout the day are merely echoes of what he has been or is now experiencing. The need to find him and ease his anguish drives my instincts. I stand up, ready to search for him, but don’t even know where to begin. Sam stands with me.
This time he sounds desperate for me. Rose…
A soul I feel is part of mine reaches out for me. Maybe it’s pure instinct. Maybe it’s lunacy, but I close my eyes and visualize those colorful waves floating from me, carrying my reply. My heart tells him, I’m here. I’m here.
Rain (Stranger in the Woods Book 1) Page 11