by T. Anderson
“No. I haven’t seen her.” Although Vern wasn’t surprised, he was a little crushed. He had a feeling this meant Stella had initiated her plan—without him. A myriad of emotion ran through his head. Fear, anger, betrayal, concern.
“Thanks, Vern. Well, if she does call you or if she shows up there, have her call us, okay?”
“Yeah, of course I will.” He paused. “Gunnar, you don’t think she…”
“Went home?”
“Yeah. You don’t think she’d do that, do you?”
“The thought had crossed my mind. But I doubt it.”
“Right. Well, call me if she shows up there. I’ll be worried sick here.”
“Okay, Vern. Thanks.”
Verner knew that “home” was exactly where Stella was headed. He disconnected his call with Gunnar and dialed Petra.
“What…time is it?” Petra groggily answered. It was almost 2:30 a.m. in Minnesota.
“Can you talk?” Vern asked, ignoring her first question.
“Yes, yes. Jesus…what’s happening?” As usual, Erl was not at home.
“She could be on her way there. She’s been gone since morning, maybe earlier.”
“What? Why would she come here? She must know the risk.”
“Petra, she wants to stop him. She told me. Oh God, what have I done?” his voice broke into a helpless sob. “I told her I would help her. Why would she go alone?”
“Good Lord, Vern. Pull yourself together. You’re no good to me like this.”
“I’m sorry. Petra, you have to stop her. I won’t make it there in time.”
“Vern, maybe she’s just coming home for Thanksgiving. Have you thought of that? It’s what most college kids do, you know.”
“She’s not like most college kids. She’s not coming for turkey and clean sheets. I’m serious, Petra. Please! Just be ready.”
“All right. I’m ready. I’ve been ready. He won’t get his hands on her. Trust me. Are you coming? You should, just in case.”
“Two more days of work before the break. If she hasn’t turned up there, I’m on my way. Call me if she does show up. Damn it, I had a feeling this would happen.”
“Me too.” Petra surrendered with her signature, winded sigh. “Me too.” Wide awake now, she paced the room, her feet comforted by the tight twists in the plush carpeting. She looked out the window at the dark sky. The crescent moon had transitioned to black this night, making it difficult to even make out the tree line or the lake off in the distance. While Stella moved swiftly through the night on the train, Petra begged the stars for her protection.
The next morning, Vern called Gunnar and suggested that maybe Stella went home for Thanksgiving. Maybe she was ashamed to tell them she wanted to go and hid it from them. Even as he said it, he knew that it sounded a little ridiculous. He knew where Stella was going, but he was trying to provide a distraction. Until they heard something, they were all left hanging by a thread.
************
Aron kept her insight to herself. Through their psychic connection, she could see Stella on the train. She clearly read the schedule board at the station in Portland and focused with Stella at the letters spelling out, ”St. Paul, Minnesota.” While she knew that her sister was headed directly into the danger zone, she felt a distinct sense of peace and safety. Aron knew that Stella was not in any danger—yet. She didn’t know how to describe it, but Stella had shown her all of this and requested that she keep this secret. And even when she was compelled to tell them, she didn’t. Not even Dane. Plus, she had other issues to deal with.
Aron hadn’t been feeling well. But she didn’t want to be a drama queen, especially with all that was happening. She was sure it would pass. It was nothing really. Just a few dizzy spells and some nausea. Maybe a virus or something.
************
By the third day of Stella’s disappearance, everyone was baffled. They all had their own ideas of when and where she would surface, but they were all wrong. She had more or less dropped off the face of the earth. Petra was relieved, in some ways. Anywhere else would be a better place than Minnesota.
Dane and Aron went to the Erickson’s for Thanksgiving. It was a melancholy gathering. Refusing to contact the authorities, Gunnar reassured them that he had the Fifth Circle’s best people searching for Stella.
Aron helped her mother in the kitchen. They did their best to stick with tradition and prepare the meal. Just as they were about to eat, Aron was overcome with sickness. She barely made it to the bathroom. She shrugged it off as nerves and they continued with their half-hearted celebration.
With a few days off from teaching, Vern stared at his computer screen, one click away from booking a flight to Minnesota. There was no point, really. What would he do there? Where would he go? Where would he look? Stella hadn’t turned up at the Steinar’s. Petra hadn’t heard from her. He couldn’t show his face at MONAD without raising suspicion, and up until this point Erling was completely unaware of Stella’s disappearance. Vern closed the booking screen and called Petra to tell her he would wait. They would all wait. And wait. And wait.
24
Missionary
Luther Seminary was only the first stop in Stella’s travels. She lingered among the young, spiritually intellectual for as long as possible. Students and teachers alike were drawn to the bright, beautiful Stella. She humbly shared herself with whoever would open their hearts to her. Although listening was her greatest gift, she had a way of sparking a soul into self-examination. Others needed the room she was lodging in and she had new places to visit, so she moved on.
Always departing in the cover of darkness, without any warning, Stella left her admirers wondering who this mysterious old soul was that they’d met, never to be forgotten. She spent some time at the Clouds in Water Zen Center on Prince Street. She immersed herself in workshops and meditations, soaking in as much information as possible. If no accommodations were available, she took up residence with generous participants who were immediately bound to her. Many people would comment how they were sure they’d met her before or that they recognized her face from somewhere.
Next was the Hindu Dharmic Sabha Vishnu Mandir temple on Washington Avenue North—the oldest Hindu temple in Minnesota, established in the early 1970s. Stella found the Hindu people to be a jolly, peaceful bunch and appreciated their efforts to include both men and women in their practices.
The next week, she found herself at the Shirdi Saibaba Prayer Center. She was drawn by their emphasis on meditation—its purpose and powers over the physical body. Stella indulged herself in the story of Sai Baba’s life and death. She related very closely to it and found comfort being near this great Saint.
Never did she leave a place without making a generous donation or helping in whatever way she could. It was something that was important to her in this life. She wanted to show people that you didn’t have to belong to any particular religion to be a good person. She wanted to illustrate the bridges between religions. However small an impact she made in these last few weeks, she hoped some people would remember their experience with her.
Her last mission was with the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet. With great admiration for these women, she strongly believed the female embodiment would be the catalyst for change that the world was in desperate need of. And these women were the perfect example of that belief. Stella spent most of this time at Sarah’s…an Oasis for Women, where she volunteered. At first glance, they questioned her ability to give advice or guidance. She seemed so young and inexperienced—until she spoke. The wall between them would dissolve and her ancient voice of wisdom would penetrate their ears. She was a friend to all and did her best in her remaining days.
But every life had an end, and Stella’s was coming closer. She could feel it. No amount of meditation or medication could mask the symptoms of a brain tumor. Her body was failing. It had been more than a month since she left San Francisco and now it was time. Time to end the journey.
; 25
Conception
A week after Stella’s disappearance Aron made a shocking discovery. Her curious symptoms had intensified and she began to question what was happening to her. She’d been so distracted and worried, that she hadn’t even realized she’d missed her period. Dane was supportive when she told him about her suspicion, more supportive than most guys would have been.
Her hands were shaking as she ripped open the package and fumbled with the directions. The print was so small. How was she supposed to do this?
Dane knocked on the door to the women’s bathroom. “Air? You okay in there?”
“Just a minute,” she called out weakly, struggling to answer loud enough for him to hear. Her own voice sounded foreign to her, so distant and so far away. It echoed off the thin, metal walls of the stall. She’d never been this nervous before. She peed on the stick and stuck it in the box, unable to face the outcome alone. She shoved the box in her bag, flushed the toilet and pulled up her jeans. Her heart was pounding loud in her ears. She didn’t remember washing her hands or walking out to the hallway. It was all a blur.
“Well?” Dane grabbed her hand as they headed back to her room.
“I can’t look.” She felt a bead of sweat forming on her brow. “It’s in my bag.”
In the privacy of the dorm room, Aron gently set the bag down on Stella’s bed. They both sat on the other bed, across from it, staring at it for a few minutes, as if it would suddenly become animated and miraculously speak to them.
“Whatever it is, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you, Air,” said Dane. He really meant it. He was in love with her. She nodded. She knew that.
“Will you look?” she asked, although she already knew the outcome.
Dane seemed to move in slow motion as he rose, took the two steps forward and grabbed the bag. He resumed his spot on the bed next to Aron and dug the box out of the bag. When he retrieved the device from inside, they both stared at the thing for what seemed like an eternity. Neither of them said anything. He embraced her and they quietly rocked back and forth. They shared the mix of emotions they were both feeling. They were terrified, yet a little excited all at the same time. Their lives were about to change—drastically. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered.
26
Homecoming
“Mom? Mom, I’m home,” Stella called out when she stepped inside the entrance of the perfectly decorated and appointed lake home. She kicked the snow off her boots, dropped her backpack on the floor and looked around. How odd it seemed to be back after all that had happened. It was December and the halls were gloriously decked for the holidays. It must have cost a fortune for all of this gilding and greenery. There was no expense spared for Christmas at the Steinar estate. Stella sensed that Petra was home, but called for her out of politeness. It would have been rude for her not to announce her presence. Stella heard footsteps upstairs. Petra appeared at the top landing.
“Stella? Good Lord, child!” She floated down the steps and flung her arms around her ghostly, adopted daughter. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you. I saw the credit card withdrawals…almost 20,000 dollars! I was beginning to think…” her voice trailed off as she squeezed Stella once more. It wasn’t like her mother to show this much emotion, but it felt nice. “Stella, I know what’s been going on. You don’t have to hide anything from me. I just wish you would have called.” This confession seemed to break the ice.
“You know—about everything?” Obviously Stella was aware of Petra’s depth of knowledge, but wanted to test to see what she was willing to admit.
“Well, I’m not sure about everything…but I know enough. Stella, we have a lot to talk about.”
“Does Dad know?” This she also knew, but her mother’s answer would determine where this conversation would be going.
“No. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve gone to great lengths to hide everything from him. We all have.”
“You all?”
“Verner. Aron. Cybele and Gunnar. Everyone has been protecting you.”
“I’m sick, Mom. You know that, right?” Again, she waited for a reaction.
“I know.” A single tear managed to escape Petra’s lash but she discreetly dabbed it away before it led to more. She stood back and took stock of Stella’s appearance. “You look dreadful. You’ve lost weight. You’re as pale as a ghost. Come on, I’ll fix you some dinner.” She took Stella’s coat and guided her to the kitchen.
“Where have you been hiding all this time?” Petra asked as Stella forced chicken soup into her mouth.
“The Cities. I wanted to spend some time by myself. There were a few things I wanted to do.”
“And now you’ve come home. Why?”
Stella wasn’t offended by the question. They both knew that her decision to return home was a dangerous one. “There are a few things I need to do here too.”
“What things Stella?” Petra almost didn’t want to hear her answer.
“I don’t want you to worry about it.” But Petra was worried about it. She had a good idea that Stella had come to finish things with Erling. Or Myra. Or both. She wasn’t about to leave that responsibility to this weak, sick girl.
“We’re not going to tell Erling about any of this, all right? As far as he knows, you’re just home for Christmas break. Got it?”
“Got it,” Stella replied with a wink. “Thanks for the soup.” Sometimes she enjoyed speaking in this singular, modern tongue. It made the other people feel more comfortable.
“Stella, are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital? You should be dealing with this, you know.”
“I’m not going to the hospital. There’s no point. Really, I’m sorry I’m putting you through this. Would you like me to leave?”
“No! I don’t want you to leave. It’s just… I wish there was something I could do. Stella, I know we didn’t have the best relationship. But there was so much going on that I just couldn’t tell you about—so much you couldn’t know…for your own safety. There were many times I wanted to tell you everything.” Petra paused for a moment. “They told you…about her, right?”
“About your sister? Yes. Petra…I am your sister. It’s not safe for us to talk about this, but I want you to know. Petra, the Aeon Project worked. While I was in California, I went through a…transformation.” She tried to keep this simple enough for Petra to understand. “I discovered the part of me that was her, and we understand why you did what you did. It’s okay. We want you to know that.”
Petra couldn’t contain her emotion any longer. She broke down in quiet sobs and covered her mouth to stifle the noise. She reached for Stella and together they shared this secret that had been kept for so long. “Oh, Stella, I’ve missed you so much. I am so sorry…for everything. I should have stopped them. I should have known what they were planning to do. In some ways I think I did know, but I was selfish. A small part of me wanted them to do it. How could I have ever let them…?” She sobbed some more. “I have struggled with this regret for so long. I blamed myself. Will you ever forgive me?”
Stella instinctively moved into the comforting role. “Sshh. Now, now.” She stroked Petra’s head like a mother consoling a child. “You cannot blame yourself, sister. What you did, or did not do—you did out of love. You loved me so much that you did not want me to leave. We understand. The forgiveness you seek is forgiveness from yourself. “
Her words calmed Petra enough for her to get a hold of herself. “When did you become so wise?” She even managed an awkward, sniffle of a chuckle.
“Wisdom, sister, comes with time, and time is something we’ve seen much of.”
“But…what are you saying? Are you saying you’ve seen more than just your previous life—as my sister? You’ve gone further back? But…Aeon was never supposed to breach those limits.” Petra was dumbfounded.
“We humans are such creatures of habit. Always setting limits. Never seeing beyond the boundaries. Never expecting too much. Fear o
f failure, fear of the unknown.”
“Yes, I suppose that’s true,” Petra agreed.
“Our souls have been learning and storing information for much longer than you can imagine. And the records are just beneath the surface, waiting to be found. It is only our own perceived limitation that keeps up from accessing this valuable resource.”
“But you have.” It wasn’t a question. It was a realization—an unexpected and unusual realization. Petra hadn’t anticipated the sense of awe in it. It took her by surprise. She went through the possibilities in her head, accepting what it meant. It was a revelation. She felt relieved. She felt joy. But the moment was fleeting. She remembered the reality of their situation.
“You have doubt, sister.”
“Stella, this is all fine and dandy, don’t get me wrong. But what about MONAD? What about Erl? And Doctor Hadrian has been looking for you for the last two weeks. She finally caught wind of your disappearance and she’s furious! The only reason she hasn’t told Erl is because she’d never admit her inadequacy. I believe she might want you more than he does.”
“You may be right. But there will be a reckoning. Again, I am asking for you to trust us. We are more than capable of handling the situation.” Stella sensed that Petra had no intention of fulfilling this request. Nevertheless, Petra’s help was necessary. “Petra, we need to know about the Legend.”
“Legend?” Petra was confused.
“The Alchemist’s Assistant…do you know it?”
“It’s an old family story. Why? Have you heard it?” Petra didn’t recall ever telling Stella the story.
“We’re wondering if you can remember it well enough to tell us. It may be important.”