Kruse laughed. ‘Stuff and nonsense is what it is Roswitha. And my wife’s always tellin’ stories like that instead of seein’ to what she should, and then when I go to put on a clean shirt, a button’s missin’. It’s been like that as long as we’ve been here. Nothin’ in her head but these stories, and on top of that there’s the black hen. And the black hen don’t lay no eggs. Come to think of it, what’s it goin’ to lay eggs with? Never gets out and cock-a-doodle-do on its own’s not enough to do the trick. That’s more’n you can ask of any hen.’
‘Just you listen to me Kruse, I’m goin’ to tell your wife all this. I always took you for a respectable man, and now you go sayin’ a thing like that about cock-a-doodle-do. Men are always worse than you think. By rights I should take that there brush and paint a black moustache on you.’
‘Well now Roswitha, I wouldn’t have nothin’ against that, not from you,’ and Kruse, who most of the time stood on his dignity, seemed about to slip into a far more playful tone when he suddenly caught sight of the baroness, today coming from the other side of the Plantation, and just at that moment passing the garden fence.
‘Hello Roswitha, what a lively mood you’re in. What’s Annie doing then?’
‘She’s sleepin’ my lady.’
But as she said it, Roswitha went red and quickly broke off the conversation and made for the house to help her mistress change. For it was by no means certain that Johanna would be there. She spent more time over at the ‘office’ these days, because there was less to do at home, and Friedrich and Christel were too boring for her and never had anything to say.
Annie was still asleep. Effi bent over her cradle, let Roswitha take off her hat and coat and sat down on the little sofa in her bedroom. She slowly smoothed back her damp hair, put her feet on a low chair which Roswitha had slipped into place, and said, visibly enjoying this relaxation after rather a long walk, ‘I must remind you Roswitha that Kruse is a married man.’
‘I know my lady.’
‘Yes, the number of things one knows, and still one behaves as if one didn’t. Nothing can come of it.’
‘Nothin’ was ever supposed to come of it my lady…’
‘If you’re banking on her illness, you’re in for a rude awakening. That sort live longest. And then she has her black hen. Beware of that, it knows everything, and it tells all it knows. I don’t know, it gives me the shudders. And I’ll bet it’s got something to do with all that up there.’
‘Oh I don’t think so. But it’s dreadful just the same. Kruse’s always against ’is wife, but nothin’ ’e says is goin’ to make me change my mind about that.’
‘What did he say?’
‘He said it’s just mice.’
‘Well, mice are bad enough. I can’t stand mice. But I distinctly saw you and Kruse together, chatting familiarly, and I do believe you were about to paint a moustache on him. That’s getting rather familiar. And where will it leave you in the end? You’re still a presentable person, and you have a little something. But be careful, that’s all I’m saying. What really happened to you that first time? Is it something you can tell me?’
‘Oh yes, that I can. But it was dreadful. And it’s because it was so dreadful that your ladyship needn’t worry about Kruse. When you’ve been through what I ’ave you’ve ’ad enough of that kind of thing and you watch out. I still dream about it sometimes, and it leaves me like a wet rag the next day. Such terrible fear…’
Effi had sat up and was resting her head on her arm. ‘Well, tell me. What happened exactly? With you people it’s always the same story, I know that from home…’
‘Yes, it probably always starts the same, and I’m not sayin’ what ’appened to me was anythin’ special, or anythin’ like that. But when they came and accused me to my face and suddenly I ’ad to say, “Yes, I am,” that was dreadful. Mother I could bear, but Father, who ’ad the village smithy, strict ’e was, and when ’e ’eard ’e was furious. ’E came at me with an iron ’e’d just taken out of the fire and was goin’ to kill me. I screamed and ran up to the loft and ’id, and I lay there tremblin’ and only came down when they called up and told me to. And I ’ad a younger sister who kept pointin’ at me and sayin’ what a disgrace I was. And then when the child was due I crept into the barn next door, because I didn’t dare stay at ’ome. Some strangers found me lyin’ there ’alf-dead and carried me indoors and up to my bed. And on the third day they took away my baby, and when I asked where it was, they told me it was bein’ well looked after. Oh my lady, may Mary Mother of God preserve you from misery like that.’
Effi started and looked wide-eyed at Roswitha. But she was more alarmed than indignant. ‘What a thing to say! I’m a married woman, you know. You mustn’t say such things, it’s not done, it’s improper.’
‘Oh my lady…’
‘Just tell me what happened to you. They had taken your child. You had got that far…’
‘And then, after a few days, somebody came out from Erfurt and drove up to the mayor’s and asked if there was a wet-nurse to be ’ad. And the mayor, may the Lord reward him, said yes, and the strange gentleman took me away there and then, and from that time on I saw better days; even with the Registrar’s widow it was bearable, and I ended up ’ere with you my lady. And that was best, best of all.’ And as she said this she came over to the sofa and kissed Effi’s hand.
‘Roswitha, you mustn’t keep kissing my hand, I don’t like it. And just watch out for Kruse. You’re normally such a good, sensible person… With a married man… no good ever comes of it.’
‘Oh my lady, God and ’is saints guide us in mysterious ways, and the misfortune that comes our way ’as its good side too. And those it don’t improve are beyond ’elp… I really don’t mind men so much…’
‘There you are Roswitha, you see.’
‘But if I ’ad to go through all that again with Kruse, there would be nothin’ for it, I would just go and drown myself. It was too dreadful. The ’ole thing. And what became of the poor mite? I don’t believe she’s still alive; they let ’er die, and it’s my fault.’ And she threw herself down by Annie’s cradle and rocked the child back and forth and sang her Buhküken von Halberstadt over and over again.
‘Don’t,’ said Effi, ‘don’t sing any more, I have a headache. But bring me the papers. Or has Gieshübler sent over any magazines?’
‘Indeed ’e ’as. The fashion magazine was on top of the pile. We ’ad a look at it, me and Johanna, before she went over. Johanna’s always so cross because she can’t ’ave anythin’ like that. Shall I bring the fashion magazine?’
‘Yes, bring it and bring the lamp too.’
Roswitha went out, and Effi, left alone, said to herself, ‘To think what we turn to, to get by. A pretty lady with a muff, and another with a half-veil; fashionable dolls. But there’s nothing better for taking my mind off other things.’
The next morning a telegram came from Innstetten saying that he was coming on the second train and so would not be in Kessin before evening. The day went by in constant agitation; fortunately Gieshübler came in the afternoon and helped to pass an hour. Finally at seven o’clock the carriage drove up, Effi stepped outside and greetings were exchanged. Innstetten was in a state of excitement that was unusual for him, and this meant that he failed to see the embarrassment mingled with Effi’s warm reception. Inside in the hallway the lamps and candles were burning, and the tea things that Friedrich had already set down on one of the tables between the cupboards gleamed with the reflected glow.
‘It looks just as it did when we arrived here. Do you still remember that, Effi?’
She nodded.
‘Except that the shark with his spruce branch is behaving more calmly today, and Rollo’s conducting himself with restraint too and not putting his paws on my shoulders any more. What’s wrong with you Rollo, old boy?’
Rollo rubbed against his master’s legs on his way past and wagged his tail.
‘He’s not pleased about s
omething, either it’s me or other people. Well, I suppose it must be me. Anyway, let’s go in.’ And he stepped into his room, and sitting down on the sofa, asked Effi to sit beside him. ‘It was so nice in Berlin, unexpectedly so; but all the time I was enjoying myself I was still longing to be back. And how well you’re looking! A little pale and a little changed, but it suits you.’
Effi blushed.
‘And now you’re blushing too. But it’s just as I say. Before you could sometimes look like a spoilt child, and now all of a sudden you look like a woman.’
‘I’m pleased to hear that Geert, but I think you’re just saying it.’
‘No, not at all, you must accept the credit, if it’s something creditable…’
‘I should think so.’
‘And now guess who sends you greetings.’
‘That’s not hard Geert. And in any case we wives, I count myself among them now that you’re back again’ – and she gave him her hand and laughed – ‘we wives are good at guessing. We’re not as slow as you.’
‘Well, who then?’
‘Cousin Briest of course. He’s the only person I know in Berlin, not counting my aunts whom you won’t have called on, and who are much too envious to send their greetings. Haven’t you found that old aunts are always envious?’
‘Yes Effi, that’s true. And when you say that, I hear my old Effi again. For you know, the old Effi, the one who still looked like a child, was also much to my taste. Just as much as my lady wife is today.’
‘Was she indeed? And if you had to choose between the two…’
‘That’s a question for scholarly research, I don’t intend to get involved in that. But here’s Friedrich with the tea. How I’ve been longing for this moment! And I said as much too, to your cousin Briest no less, when we were sitting in Dressel’s toasting you in champagne… Your ears must have been burning… and do you know what your cousin replied?’
‘Something foolish, no doubt. That’s his forte.’
‘That’s the blackest ingratitude I’ve heard in my whole life. “Here’s to Effi,” he said, “my beautiful cousin… You know, Innstetten, what I’d most like would be to challenge you to a duel and shoot you dead. For Effi is an angel, and you’ve deprived me of that angel.” And as he said it he looked so serious and mournful that one could almost have believed him.’
‘Oh, I know that mood that takes him. How many glasses had you had?’
‘I don’t remember, and possibly I wouldn’t have known even at the time. But I do believe he was being absolutely serious. And it might even have been the right thing. Don’t you think you would have got on well with him?’
‘Got on well with him? That’s not saying much Geert. But I’m almost sure I wouldn’t even have got on well with him.’
‘Why not? He really is a very delightful and pleasant chap and he’s even quite clever.’
‘Yes, he’s all that…’
‘But…’
‘But he’s a bit silly. And that’s not a quality we women appreciate, not even when we’re half children, which is how you’ve always seen me, and maybe still do, in spite of my progress. Silliness is not for us. Men should be men.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. By Jove, that puts one on one’s mettle. And by happy chance I can claim to have just come from something that was very like being put on my mettle, or at least will require it in the future. Tell me, what would you say to a ministry?’
‘A ministry? That can be one of two things. It can be people, clever, distinguished gentlemen who govern the country, and it can also just be a building, a palazzo, a Palazzo Strozzi or Pitti, or if you don’t care for them, some other palace. You can see, I didn’t go on my Italian journey for nothing.’
‘And could you bring yourself to live in such a palazzo? I mean in such a ministry?’
‘Goodness gracious Geert, they haven’t made you a minister? Gieshübler said something of the sort. And of course Prince Bismarck can do anything. My goodness, has he actually managed that, and me only eighteen?’
Innstetten laughed. ‘No Effi, not a minister, we’re not as far as that yet. But it may be that I’ll prove to have all kinds of talents, and then it won’t be impossible.’
‘So not for the moment, not a minister yet?’
‘No. And I have to say we won’t even live in the Ministry, but I shall be at the Ministry every day, just as now I’m at the Landrat’s office, and I shall report to the Minister and travel with him when he goes to inspect the provincial authorities. And you’ll be the wife of a Ministerialrat and live in Berlin, and in six months’ time you’ll almost have forgotten being here in Kessin with nothing but Gieshübler and the dunes and the Plantation.’
Effi said nothing, her eyes only grew wider; there was a nervous twitch at the corner of her mouth and her whole delicate frame quivered. Suddenly she slid down from her seat in front of Innstetten, hugged his knees and in a tone as if she were praying said, ‘Thank God.’
Innstetten paled. What was this? Something that had been with him on and off for weeks was back and could be read so clearly in his eyes that Effi was alarmed by it. She had been swept away by a noble sentiment that was little short of a confession of guilt and had said more than she should have. She had to counteract that again, had to find something, some way out, whatever the cost.
‘Get up Effi. What’s wrong?’
Effi stood up quickly. She didn’t resume her place on the sofa, but instead pulled up a high-backed chair, evidently because she didn’t feel she had the strength to hold herself erect without support.
‘What’s wrong?’ Innstetten repeated. ‘I thought your days here had been happy. And now you exclaim “Thank God” as if the whole thing here had been an ordeal. Was I an ordeal for you? Or was it something else? Tell me.’
‘I don’t know how you can still ask Geert,’ she said, trying her utmost to control the tremor in her voice. ‘Happy days! Of course there were happy days, but there was another kind too. I’ve never been completely free from fear here, never. It’s not two weeks since I saw it over my shoulder again, the same face, the same sallow complexion. And these last nights, with you away, it came back again, not the face, but the shuffling, and Rollo barked again, and Roswitha heard it too and came to my bedside and sat by me, and we only nodded off again when it was getting light. This house is haunted, and I was meant to believe that business about the ghost – for you’re a pedagogue. Yes Geert, that’s what you are. But never mind that, all I know is I’ve been afraid in this house for a whole year and more, and when I get away from here, I’ll expect to be rid of all that and be free again.’
Innstetten’s eyes had not left her and he had followed every word. What did she mean, ‘you’re a pedagogue’? – and the other thing she had said just before, ‘and I was meant to believe that business about the ghost’. What was all that? Where did it come from? And he felt that slight suspicion of his stir again and settle in more firmly. But he had lived long enough to know that all signs are deceptive and that in our jealousy, despite its hundred eyes, we more often go wrong than in the blindness of our trust. It could well be just as she said. And if it was, why shouldn’t she exclaim, ‘Thank God!’
And so, quickly reviewing all the possibilities, he overcame his suspicions and reached out to her across the table. ‘Forgive me Effi, but all that took me so much by surprise. All my fault, of course. I’ve always been too wrapped up in my own affairs. We men are all self-centred. But that is going to change. There’s one good thing about Berlin: it has no haunted houses. Where would they come from? And now let’s go over and see Annie; otherwise Roswitha will accuse me of being an unfeeling father.’
Listening to these words, Effi had gradually. grown calmer, and the feeling that she had successfully extricated herself from a danger of her own making restored her resilience and composure.
22
Next morning they had breakfast together rather later than usual. Innstetten had got over his irritation an
d worse, whilst Effi existed so entirely within her feeling of liberation that she had not only recovered her facility for simulating a degree of good humour, but almost her former spontaneity as well. She was still in Kessin, and yet she felt as though it lay far behind her.
‘I’ve been thinking about it Effi,’ said Innstetten, ‘you’re not entirely wrong in all you said against our house here. It may have been good enough for Captain Thomsen, but not for a spoilt young woman; everything old-fashioned, no room for anything. You’ll be better off in Berlin, with a proper reception room, not like the gallery here, and a hallway and staircase with tall stained-glass windows, Kaiser Wilhelm with crown and sceptre, or something religious perhaps, Saint Elizabeth, or the Virgin Mary. Let’s say the Virgin Mary, we owe it to Roswitha.’
Effi laughed. ‘So be it. But who’s going find us a place? I can’t very well send Cousin Briest to look. Or my aunts for that matter! Anything’s good enough as far as they’re concerned.’
‘Yes, house-hunting. A thankless task to impose on anyone. I’m afraid you’ll just have to go yourself’
‘And when, do you think?’
‘Mid-March.’
‘Oh, that’s far too late Geert. Everything will have gone by then. The good places are hardly going to wait for us.’
‘That’s true. But I only got back yesterday, so I can’t very well say “Go tomorrow.” It just wouldn’t do, and it wouldn’t suit me either; I’m pleased to have you again.’
‘No,’ she said, gathering the coffee service together noisily to conceal her rising embarrassment, ‘no, that wouldn’t do, not today or tomorrow, but one day soon. And as soon as I find something, I’ll be straight back. But there’s one more thing, Roswitha and Annie must come with me. It would be best of all if you could come too. But it can’t be done, I can see that. And it won’t be a long separation. I already know where I’m going to take an apartment…’
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