Illusions of Love

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Illusions of Love Page 40

by Michelle Betham

Reece stood up, pushing his sunglasses down over his eyes as he leant back against the terrace wall, turning his back on the view of Vegas. ‘Were they really though, Martha? Were they ever really happy?’

  ‘I think you already know the answer to that one.’

  Reece sighed heavily, throwing his head back. ‘Jesus! I just want to talk to her, y’know? Tell her I’m sorry; tell her that, yes, okay, I handled this all really badly…’

  ‘You admit that then, do you?’ Martha smiled, pouring them both a coffee.

  He looked at her, pushing his sunglasses up onto his head. ‘I could have handled it better. But what the hell was I supposed to do with that news, huh? For seven years she kept that from me…’

  Martha stood up and walked over to him, laying a hand gently on his shoulder, kissing his cheek. ‘It’s over now, honey. Okay? We have to let them deal with it in whichever way they think is best, and India – she will come round. You’ll see. She’s just a bit too much like you.’

  Reece frowned slightly as he looked at his wife.

  Martha smiled, sitting back down at the table, taking a sip of coffee. ‘Stubborn, Reece. She’s stubborn. Just like her father.’

  ***

  ‘You’re a bloody idiot, Kenny.’

  ‘There are only so many times you can say that, India. I kinda get it now.’

  She swung round on her stool at the bar, taking in the usual crowd of people who hung out here in a place that India adored because of its obvious rock ‘n’ roll vibe including several tattoo booths located within the club, incredible, almost gothic architecture, and a mix of rock and blues music that pounded from every wall. The lighting was dark and low and cast a red hue over the whole bar giving it a somewhat sleazy yet ultra-cool feel – everything about the place made India want to kick back and let go, go crazy and party Las Vegas style, and that’s exactly what she intended to do tonight. It was what she always did when she was in Vegas when she had some complicated relationship problem going on, and she certainly had one hell of a complicated relationship problem hanging over her head right now. Sometimes she thought she should maybe stop coming to Vegas altogether because every time she turned up here something seemed to happen. And it wasn’t always good.

  ‘You’re not eyeing those tattoo booths again, are you?’ Kenny asked, sliding another bottle of beer over towards her, which she immediately grabbed, taking a good long drink. ‘I’d have thought you’d have learnt your lesson after the one you’ve already got.’

  India ignored his reference to the JJ tattoo she had on the underside of her left wrist, the initials of her latest ex-husband. It was something she’d once been so sure had signified their seemingly strong relationship – a permanent mark to represent a partnership that she’d hoped would stay the same way. But now it was just something she kept hidden behind wrist-cuffs and watches, something that more often than not had to be blocked out with make-up on movie sets. Something that shouldn’t be there anymore.

  ‘Why not?’ she said, totally side-stepping his comment. He may have expected a reaction, but he wasn’t getting one. ‘I’ve always fancied one that goes right over the shoulder and down my back.’

  Kenny looked at her. ‘Well, one like that sure as hell ain’t gonna to be finished in one night, kiddo.’

  She shrugged, taking another drink. ‘Anyway, quit changing the subject. What the hell were you playing at?’

  Kenny sighed. ‘We’ve been over this…’

  ‘And we’ll go over it again and again until I begin to understand just what was going on in either of your tiny minds. Jesus, Kenny… sleeping with Charley? Why? How could you let that happen?’

  He looked straight at her. ‘You know why I did it, India.’

  She turned away from him, staring straight ahead of her, focusing on the bottles lined up at the back of the bar.

  ‘So, what’s Charley’s excuse?’ She turned to look at him again, banging her bottle of beer down hard on the bar. ‘Y’know, we’re all acting like demented fucking teenagers. What the hell is wrong with us?’

  ‘She was scared, India.’

  ‘We’re all scared, Kenny. Doesn’t mean we should all go round fucking everyone at random in some vain hope that it’ll make us feel better. I for one have learnt that really isn’t the way to go.’

  Kenny looked at her, raising an eyebrow, but saying nothing.

  ‘I mean, Charley she… she’s married to the most incredible man. Vince is one in a million and she’s crazy to have even thought about putting that relationship in jeopardy, after everything she’s been through. If she loses him over this…’

  ‘I thought you said they were working things out?’

  ‘They are. But you don’t expect Vince to forgive and forget just like that, do you? And quite honestly, Kenny, I’m more than surprised that he hasn’t laid you out. It’s not like you don’t deserve it.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, finishing the last of her beer, smiling at the rather attractive bartender as he handed her a fresh one.

  ‘But that’s the kind of man he is, you see. The most grown-up, level-headed one out of the lot of us.’

  Kenny watched as she took another long drink. ‘Are you gonna start taking it easy?’

  ‘Are you gonna stop acting like my chaperone? What’s the matter with you?’

  ‘You’re in one of those moods.’

  ‘Oh, don’t you start. I’ve just got Bobby off my back.’

  ‘And don’t you think you should, y’know, maybe, talk to your dad? I know he could’ve handled that whole situation a lot better, I mean, it’s not what Reece does, is it? Acting without really thinking. But he only did it ‘cos he loves you, India. And let’s face it, the way Michael’s been carrying on lately, that heart attack was probably something that was just sitting around waiting to happen.’

  India looked at him, resting her elbow on the bar and her head in her hand. ‘He shouldn’t have gone there, Kenny. He should have talked to me first.’

  ‘I think he probably knows that now, baby.’

  India closed her eyes for a second, trying to banish a sudden wave of tiredness from taking over. She was determined to party ‘til dawn tonight, and nothing was going to stop her from doing that.

  ‘So, what exactly’s going on with you and Dominic then?’

  India opened her eyes, reaching out for her beer and taking a sip. ‘He gave me an ultimatum.’

  Kenny’s eyes widened. ‘An ultimatum? What kind of ultimatum?’

  ‘Him or Michael.’

  Kenny was confused now. ‘Michael?’

  ‘Dominic thinks I still have feelings for Michael.’

  ‘And, do you?’

  ‘I’ll always have feelings for Michael, Kenny. You know that as well as I do. But that doesn’t mean I want to be with him.’

  ‘Does Dominic know what happened?’

  India looked at him, frowning.

  ‘Does he know what happened between you and Michael?’

  She shook her head, still fighting that unwelcome tired feeling.

  ‘Are you gonna tell him? Because, right now, he’s about the only person round here who doesn’t know. And he is Michael’s son.’

  ‘What’s that got to do with anything? That doesn’t give him a God given right to know everything about his father’s life, does it? For Christ’s sake, they’ve only known each other a matter of weeks.’

  ‘Is it fair, though?’

  India was beginning to tire of this conversation. It felt more like an interrogation than anything else, and that was something she really wasn’t in the mood for.

  ‘Kenny, I really haven’t got the energy to get into this... Telling Dominic would be a really bad idea, okay? Right now, it would be a really bad idea.’

  ‘You should tell him.’ Kenny looked straight ahead, taking a long drink of beer himself. ‘If you want a future together.’

  ‘Who said anything about wanting a future
together? We’ve only just met.’

  Kenny said nothing, just drained the last of his beer and slid down from his stool.

  ‘Where are you going?’ India asked, needing him to talk to just to keep her awake.

  ‘Toilet. You wanna come with me?’

  She poked her tongue out at him and swung back round on her stool, facing the bar, checking how much beer she had left. She fancied a change after this drink. Cocktails, maybe? No, there was something about this bar that somehow didn’t make her want to hit the cocktails. Whisky, maybe – it was time to hit the shorts, on the rocks, of course. The only way she ever drank the stuff.

  She felt someone slide onto the stool beside her and she turned to see who it was, knowing it couldn’t be Kenny because he’d only just left.

  ‘Shouldn’t you be over at The Amber Palace trying to make your marriage work?’ she said, not taking a beat as she looked at Charley. ‘Want a drink? Stupid question…’

  She turned back to face the bar, signalling to the bartender to come over, ordering two whiskies on the rocks.

  ‘I don’t know what to do, India. I really don’t. I’m at a complete loss, and Vince, he… it’s like he just can’t bring himself to be near me, y’know? And that hurts.’

  ‘Well, I suppose him finding you in the arms of Kenny Ross kinda stung a bit too, don’t you think?’

  Charley looked down into her drink, swirling the whisky round over the shards of ice in the glass. ‘You know I don’t drink whisky.’

  ‘You do tonight. Get it down you, it’ll do you good.’ India looked at her friend as she continued to swirl her drink round the large, ice-filled tumbler. She looked thinner, but she supposed the stress of the whole Jimmy Cash thing and then this situation with Vince and Kenny, well, maybe it had just got to her more than anyone realised. ‘You do know I’m here with Kenny, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, Bobby told me,’ Charley replied, looking up to meet India’s eyes.

  ‘So? Should you be here? What if Vince finds out?’

  ‘I’m not doing anything wrong, am I?’

  ‘He might not see it that way, Charley. Given what’s gone on.’

  Charley sighed, taking a large gulp of whisky, screwing her face up as the warm liquid hit the back of her throat. ‘Jesus, India, how do you drink that stuff? You never used to touch it.’

  ‘Yeah, well, sometimes life has a habit of changing things.’ She knocked back half of her glass in one go, without the hint of a flinch. ‘So, are you here to talk…?’

  ‘I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m here, I just know that I couldn’t face another night of sitting there in that strange apartment, all on my own, thinking about how stupid I’ve been.’

  ‘And what if Vince finds you here? How’s that gonna look?’

  Charley stared down into her drink again. ‘Why would he come looking for me?’

  ‘Because he loves you, you bloody idiot. Despite everything.’ India turned her attention to Kenny as he arrived back at the bar. ‘And talking of bloody idiots…’

  ‘Jesus, India, can you leave it alone for just five minutes?’

  ‘No, Kenny, I can’t leave it alone. You should’ve been more responsible – she was vulnerable, and you latched onto that…’

  ‘India…’ Charley began, but India swung round to face her.

  ‘And you… well, you should have come to me, okay? If you couldn’t talk to Vince, then you should have come to me.’

  ‘You had enough problems, India.’

  ‘Oh, sod my problems, Charley. I’ve always got fucking problems, you know that. And most of them I bring on myself.’

  ‘You including me in that?’ They all turned round to see Dominic standing behind them, hands in his pockets, his handsome face dominated by a frown. ‘Am I one of your problems?’

  India looked at him for a few seconds. ‘Have they given out invitations or something?’ She didn’t take her eyes off Dominic as she downed the last of her whisky, slamming the empty glass back down on the bar.

  ‘She always resorts to flippancy when she’s confronted with something she doesn’t want to face,’ Kenny chipped in, signalling to the bartender to bring him another beer.

  India threw him a look as he grabbed his beer and indicated to Charley to join him. ‘Come on, Charley. Let’s leave them to it.’

  ‘Is that wise?’ India asked, watching as Charley walked over to Kenny, a little reluctantly she thought. ‘I mean, if Vince finds out…’

  ‘Vince is the least of your worries, kiddo,’ Kenny said, looking from her to Dominic, then back at India again. ‘And if you must know, I’m going to try and persuade Charley to go back to The Amber Palace and talk to Vince. Okay?’

  ‘You are?’ Charley asked, a touch surprised.

  ‘Yeah, I am,’ Kenny replied. ‘Hanging round here isn’t going to do you any good, especially as Ms Movie Queen over there appears to be busy now.’

  ‘Who said I was busy?’

  Kenny looked at her, raising an eyebrow. ‘You’re busy, okay? Come on, Charley.’

  India watched as Kenny and Charley headed towards the outside terrace area, more than a touch uncomfortable about letting them disappear anywhere together, but she had other things to deal with now.

  ‘So?’ Dominic asked, sliding up onto the stool Charley had just vacated.

  ‘So, what?’ India asked, holding up her empty glass and signalling for a refill.

  ‘Have you made your choice?’

  She looked at Dominic. ‘This is bullshit, Dominic. You really expect me to humour you over this?’

  ‘Humour me?’ Dominic laughed. ‘Is that what you’re doing? Humouring me?’

  ‘I’m not doing anything, Dominic. I came out for a drink, to party, to forget for a few hours. I wasn’t banking on you turning up throwing ultimatums in my face again.’

  ‘I need to know, India. Can you understand that? I need to know where I stand.’

  She got up, walking away from him but he followed her, grabbing her arm and swinging her round.

  She stared at him, although she made no attempt to shake him off. ‘You want to know where you stand, huh?’

  ‘I want to know where I stand. Yes.’

  ‘There was no need for any fucking ultimatum, Dominic, okay? Because I was never going back to Michael. Did you hear that? I was never going back to him.’

  ‘So, what was with all the concern, all that at the hospital?’

  ‘Jesus, come on! He was a part of my life for a long time, I loved him like crazy, once. I loved him like crazy. Once. And to see him like that, knowing that it could have been so much worse… He’s Ethan’s dad. He’s my baby’s dad, and I guess I’ll never stop caring, I’ll never stop hoping that he sticks around for a long while yet because his little boy adores him, he worships the ground his father walks on…’

  ‘And you don’t?’

  Dominic loosened his grip on her arm and she leant back against the wall, pushing a hand through her long blond curls, looking away from him, focusing on the exit ahead of her that led out onto the terrace.

  ‘No. Not anymore. Maybe I thought I still did, y’know? Just for a second.’ She turned to face him again, his eyes never leaving hers. ‘Maybe I thought I did. But that’s the kind of person he is. He makes you think that he’s everything you need, and that’s the way I lived for a long time. But not anymore. I’ll always love him, in some way that I’ll never really be able to explain, but I can’t ever go back to him.’

  ‘Why not?’

  She stared at Dominic, into those piercing blue eyes that were so much like Michael’s. ‘Because I… I just can’t.’

  Dominic really wanted to push it further, to find out more because it wasn’t as simple as her just saying she couldn’t go back to Michael – and she’d used the word ‘can’t’ rather than ‘won’t’. Should that make a difference? As far as Dominic was concerned, yes. It should. Because she was hiding something, that was for certain.

  Pu
shing a hand through his hair he looked down at the ground for a few seconds, trying to work out what to do next. This hadn’t really made anything any clearer; he was still confused, still uncertain as to what was going on.

  ‘Dominic…?’

  He slowly looked up at her, into a face so beautiful, but a face as confused as he was. And suddenly only one thing seemed the right thing to do. Leaning forward, he reached out and touched her warm cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb, moving closer until his mouth was just millimetres from hers, his breath warm on her face.

  She said nothing, just closed her eyes and gave in to his kiss, trying so hard not to fall against him as his mouth moved slowly against hers, sending every mixed-up emotion she was already feeling into even deeper confusion.

  ‘Shit! Dominic, what the hell are we doing?’

  He said nothing, just continued to gently stroke her cheek, running his thumb lightly over her slightly open lips.

  ‘I want you, so badly,’ Dominic whispered, his mouth close to her ear, his warm breath on her skin making India’s heart flutter like some love-sick teenager. She hadn’t wanted this tonight. She hadn’t wanted to think about this at all, not tonight. Tonight she’d wanted to kick back and relax, party with Kenny, forget all about Dominic, but how could she forget about him now when he was standing here, touching her, telling her he wanted her? And she wanted him too. Boy, did she want him too.

  As the music pounding out of hidden speakers in the walls seemed to get louder, almost shaking the floor underneath India, that familiar feeling of knowing exactly where this was going to end rose up in her, and there was probably no point in trying to fight it. He had her cornered. In every possible way.

  ‘Let’s pretend,’ he said quietly, his fingers now stroking her shoulder, running up and down her arm, sending shivers right through her. ‘Let’s pretend we aren’t who we are. Let’s pretend that we’ve never met before, okay? We don’t know each other; we know nothing about each other. Let’s pretend we’re two people – strangers – that just need that one thing from each other tonight. We can worry about all the rest of the shit tomorrow. Okay? So, right now, I’m just some guy who saw you from across the other side of the room, some guy who’s just looking for some no-holds-barred fun. Let’s just pretend…’

 

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