He chuckled and leaned in, saying, “Believe me, Ashley. Even hurt, you’re a fucking work of art.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, because he was so sincere about it. Yet, I couldn’t help but detect something else in his words. And I was no stranger to it. It was lust.
I leaned in to, so our faces were lined up but not touching. “You’re not so bad yourself you know.”
His grin exposed his white teeth. “I know.”
I snorted and moved back. “Be careful, or your head might explode from all that ego.”
His grin widened.
“So, I think we broke our deal.”
His head cocked to the side.
“You know the whole thing about not asking each other about our demons,” I reminded him, thinking back to the conversation that made me that much more interested in him.
He shook his head. “We haven’t actually exposed those demons, have we? We were just having casual conversation. That’s what friends do.”
My brow arched. “Is that what we are? Friends?”
“As I recall, we practically agreed the first time we hung out that we wanted to be more than that.”
He had me there.
“So you mean sex?”
That got his attention. “Sex would definitely be involved. A lot of sex, actually. Everywhere.”
I almost drooled. “Everywhere?”
“I could think of a few places I’d take you now,” he informed me casually, not even batting an eyelash. “I won’t though.”
I frowned. Hell, I probably looked like I was about to throw a temper tantrum. There was something about Ezra that really was different than the other guys I hung out with. Mostly in the fact that they would have slept with me by now and moved on. Just like I would have.
But not Ezra. Apparently, he was going to savor whatever it was that we had. I personally think that the sex would make that more interesting, especially now that I knew he had places in mind of where he would take me. And that…well that was hot.
“You should see your face right now,” he mused.
I wiped the expression off it. “Why not sleep with me now?”
His eyes travelled to the brace on my knee and the crutches next to me.
Oh yeah. I forgot those were there.
“It’s not just because of your knee,” he told me, noticing where my gaze was. “I like you, Ashley. And maybe you’re used to guys using you in one way or another, but I have no intention of doing that.”
Geez, was he in cahoots with Tara?
“What makes you think I let guys use me?”
He eyed me. “I’ve seen you around campus. You practically always have a guy around you, and it’s obvious they’re interested. I haven’t missed the way you egg them on either.”
“And what? You think you’ll change me?”
“Oh, babe,” he mused, giving me a throaty laugh. “You have no idea what me and my ego are truly capable of. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be a changed woman.”
My eyes widened. That sounded…intense.
“But for now,” he said, sighing, “we’ll take it slow. You need to feel better. And you need to see that those guys you’re letting yourself get close to is not what you really want.”
I rolled my eyes. “And I suppose you think you’re the person I want?”
He leaned in close to me again, this time letting his lips brush against the corner of my mouth. And I gasped like a little school girl who had never been this close to a boy. He took notice instantly.
Against my skin, he said, “Based on that reaction, I am exactly what you want. Not just now. Not just for a couple days or a week. You’re going to want me for a very long time, Ashley.”
I gulped, because damn. I believed him.
I wish I could have said that we kissed. Hell, I wish I could have said that I tried to kiss him, even if the outcome was rejection. If it were any other person I would have been all over that idea, but I didn’t even try to turn my head an inch when his lips were that close to mine.
I must be broken.
The rest of the day was spent trying to forget my lack of trying in Ezra’s apartment. Not to mention how he’d made me feel after he practically told me he wanted to rip off my pants and ravish me right there on the futon.
And damn I would have let him.
Tara didn’t pry when I got back to the apartment, but I could tell she wanted to. However, I was still not over the conversation she tried having with me at the hospital regarding Ezra, and what happened in his apartment would have only fueled that fire.
But it made me wonder if Tara was right, and I hated that. Not because I didn’t think Tara knocked the nail on the head, because she was typically always right. In fact, I was the one who usually had it wrong about ninety-eight percent of the time. But never when it came to me or my choices. Never when it came to guys.
And Tara never made an effort for guys for herself, so I never wanted to think about her advice when it came to my own relationship status. She had her own motives and I had mine. But what really were mine?
Are you not reading into it because you don’t want to or because you don’t think it’ll work out?
I pushed her words out of my mind and tried focusing on the show that was on the television. Tara was making popcorn in the kitchen and talking to Blair about our plans changing. Since I wasn’t exactly in the party mood, she and Nate were coming over and hanging out for the night.
Usually, I would have found that boring. Even though Blair and Nate were disgustingly cute to look at and be around, I was always pushing to go to a party. I would encourage shots and bad decisions rather than staying in and watching movies. Not to mention, being around two people who were so in love with each other was kind of depressing.
Not because I wanted that kind of feeling, because I honestly didn’t. I never was the type of girl who dreamed about her future husband or planned out her perfect wedding. That shit was a waste of my time.
But Tara always looked uncomfortable when they got all cozy. She tried to hide it, and for the most part Blair seemed oblivious, but I wasn’t. I could see right through the smile she casted toward the happy couple.
I knew she was happy for Blair. Hell, even I was kind of happy that Blair and Nate finally sealed the deal. Having to watch her pine for him was getting old, and the sexual tension between them was ridiculous. I had to give her credit though, because damn did she choose well.
Blair and Nate had practically grown up together, so they were always pretty close. But Blair, being the softy that she is, fell for Nate in high school and just kind of held on to that. She pined while he played the field, and boy did he have quite the fan base. It was not surprising considering his looks. He was a sexy guy, who attracted sexy girls. But Blair? She was perfect for him, he just didn’t see it until she finally made a move at her brother’s wedding.
I couldn’t help but smile at the memory.
Blair was by no means like the other girls that Nate usually hung out with, but she was the best out of any of him. She grounded Nate, finally got him to settle down. Not to mention that she was drop-dead gorgeous. Secretly, if I were gay I’d even try making a pass at her.
But I wasn’t, and she was claimed.
Tara interrupted my thoughts when she plopped down on the couch next to me. “Blair said they’ll be over around seven. Nate is picking up Chinese on the way.”
I grinned. “How much are you willing to bet that he’ll forget the extra duck sauce?”
She laughed. “He always forgets the extra duck sauce, so I’m not even going to bother betting. You’d think as many times as he comes over here he’d remember.”
“He’s a guy,” I teased.
“Speaking of guys…” she pressed, obviously nudging me to talk about Ezra.
“Not gonna happen.”
She stuck out her bottom lip, pouting. “But why? Did I not tell you that he was into you?”
“Tara,” I
warned, pausing the show. “I personally think that you two are in on this little scheme of yours, but I’m not going to investigate it because I’m tired and lazy. Just drop it.”
“How can I when you’re obviously into him?”
I eyed her. She didn’t back down. I sighed.
“Ugh,” I groaned, dropping my head back so it rested on the cushion of the couch. “Besides ripping our clothes off and having lots of sex, I don’t know what I want from him. Okay?”
“Ew,” she returned.
I snorted. “You think that’s gross? Sex is natural, girl. It’s human nature. And Ezra is…ugh. He’s got something that I definitely want. Like right now.”
Her nose scrunched up.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry, he already told me that wasn’t going to happen. Not now anyway, which means that there is going to be a someday. And I certainly hope for my vaginas sake that someday is going to be in the very near future.”
“Seriously?” she groaned.
“I haven’t had sex in a little while, Tara. A girl has needs.”
She ignored that. “So how do you feel about him not wanting to sleep with you?”
“Honestly? A little offended. But…I don’t know. Besides confused over the fact that he obviously wants to, I have a feeling that whatever is going on between us will be interesting.”
“Why is that?”
“Because he acts like there’s more to me then what there is. He acts like…”
I couldn’t search for the right words.
“Like you’re special?” she promoted.
And she got it. “Yeah,” I murmured, thinking about how true those words were. “He really acts like I’m special.”
She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “That’s because you are, Ashley. You act like you don’t give a crap about a lot of things, which is why you go after those idiots you sleep with. But maybe you’re thinking differently now because you found somebody who is willing to change that.”
My face heated up when I thought about what Ezra told me.
By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be a changed woman.
Ovaries go boom.
I cleared my throat. “Maybe you’re right, but can we not talk about this anymore?”
She smiled triumphantly. “Anytime I hear you say I’m right I will happily let the conversation end. Wouldn’t want you changing your mind.”
I picked up the remote and pressed play.
Until Blair and Nate got here, it was just going to be me, Tara, and the Gilmore Girls.
7
There was a pretty good possibility that I was drunk. Or maybe I was just tipsy. I was going to have to ask one of the two versions of Blair that was standing in front of me, because surly one of them could tell me how far gone I was.
Nate had his arm around one of the Blair’s shoulders, which made me gasp.
“Nate!” I slurred, staring wide-eyed at him. “You can’t put your arm around her! You’re dating Blair!”
It was fuzzy, but I was pretty sure they were grinning at each other and trying to hold back laughter.
They were laughing at me!
“Blair is so going to kick your ass,” I told him, crossing my arms on my chest.
Tara came into view next to me. “I think I should have cut you off after the last two shots.”
I made a noise in protest. “I am not drunk if that’s what you’re insinuating.”
Nate snorted. “Only a true drunk person would say that.”
I groaned. “You shut up, mister. I’m still mad at you for cheating on Blair with…” I looked at the other Blair. “With Blair.”
Blair laughed loudly. “How about I get you some water? Lots and lots of water?”
“Why?” I whined, trying to get up from the couch where I sat.
Tara quickly pushed my back down. “You’re not in the most stable condition right now, Ash. Stay put so you don’t hurt your knee anymore.”
I huffed. “I’m not in any pain right now.”
Nate said, “You probably feel nothing right now, but if we don’t get you drinking some water you’re going to feel it in the morning.”
I’m pretty sure I started waving my arms in the air, but for what reason I had no idea. I was probably arguing, making sure my flailing had attitude, but I think I accidently whacked Tara across the face. The idea of me doing so made me start giggling.
Tara sighed as Blair came back with a tall glass of water. She passed it to me, but I managed to spill some on myself and splash some on the couch. I took a sip and scrunched my nose.
“This isn’t vodka.”
“You don’t need vodka,” Blair informed me. “Just drink that up and we’ll get you a new one.”
“With vodka?” I asked.
Blair rolled her eyes. “Just drink.”
Tara sat down beside me with a can of soda in her hands. She sipped on it and watched as I downed the glass of water and put the glass on the coffee table in front of me.
“So what are we doing now?” I asked, leaning back and looking at the three of them.
Blair was leaning against Nate, with Nate’s arms wrapped around her waist. His chin was resting on the top of her head since he had a good foot on her.
Tara put down her soda can. “I think you should just relax.”
I stuck out my tongue at her. “I don’t want to. I want to have fun.”
Blair giggled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this drunk before. Any reason why you decided to go all out tonight?”
I shrugged. Or I think I did. “I just really love alcohol. It’s so nice to me. You know? Like if vodka was a person I’d marry it. And I don’t do the whole marriage thing.”
“True love,” Nate mused.
“Why aren’t any of you drinking?” I asked, looking at the lack of cups in their hands. I was pretty sure I remembered them having a few shots with me an hour or two ago, but then I didn’t remember much else.
“We’ve had enough,” Tara said.
I snorted. “You did like one shot!”
“And you did like eight,” she countered. “And then you made yourself some weird ass drink mix that looked disgusting.”
“I’m sure it tasted wonderful.”
“The fact you don’t remember if it did or not means that you don’t need anymore,” Blair told me, grabbing my glass and taking it back to the kitchen.
When she brought it back filled with water, I grabbed it and set it down on the table. “You’re not fun anymore. You used to drink with me when we went to parties.”
“I don’t need to drink anymore.”
“Why? Cause you got your man?” I doubted.
If memory served—and my memory was very fuzzy at the moment—she got drunk at her brother’s wedding and tried hooking up with Nate. That was what started their whole charade, which thankfully ended in them being together.
But still. She was my tequila buddy.
“No,” she informed me, sitting down next to Tara on the end of the couch. “Because drinking doesn’t solve any problems. If anything it just makes more of them. What is going on that made you want to drink?”
I groaned and called her a party pooper. Or I tried, but it mostly came out in slurs that nobody probably understood.
Nate grabbed my glass from the table and passed it to me, telling me to drink. He was so bossy.
“You guys are no fun,” I informed them all, taking out my cell phone from where it was beside me.
I stumbled a few times with getting the right buttons, but managed to get to my contacts and scroll through the list.
Ezra picked up on the first ring.
“You need to come over.”
He laughed. “You sound drunk.”
“Nobody here is any fun,” I complained, ignoring the eyes rolls I got from people. “They’re trying to get me to relax.”
“Who all is there?”
“My friends.”
“Don’t you think you shoul
d listen to them?”
“I think they’re trying to ruin the fun,” I whispered, although I think my voice was louder than I meant based on all the looks I was getting from people.
Tara reached for my phone. “Are you talking to Ezra right now?”
Blair squeaked. “Is that the boy you told me about?”
“Boy?” Ezra said. “Have you been talking about me, Ashley?”
I blushed. “Why would I talk about you?”
“I’m coming over.”
“No!”
“Too late. Now I need to know who it is you’ve been gossiping to about me. Need to know what you’ve said.”
“Nothing bad.”
I heard the grin in his voice. “Even better.”
There was a knock at the door then.
I gasped and hung up the phone. “Guys! I think Ezra is at the door.”
“No shit,” Nate laughed. “Didn’t you just invite him over two seconds ago?”
Tara and Blair raced to the door, opening it without even looking through the peephole. For all they knew it could have been a psycho! Or a murderer! Or a psycho murderer!
But it was just Ezra, walking in like he owned the damn place. And of course he was still wearing his stupid low rise jeans and shirt that showed off that sexy stomach of his. Why did he have to be attractive?
“Don’t look so thrilled to see me,” he mused, catching my expression.
“Why are you wearing that?”
He looked down at his outfit. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“You look hot in it.”
He laughed. “Well then that’s a good thing.”
“No it’s not.”
“Why is that?” he asked, suddenly kneeling in front of me. When he came over I had no idea, but there he was all the sudden right in my grill.
And my grill was currently on fire.
I crossed my arms on my chest. “Cause I want to have sex with you but you practically told me no.”
Blair and Tara laughed, but Nate held up his hands. “I don’t want to hear this conversation.”
Blair swiped his arm with her hand. “Well I’m intrigued. I don’t think anyone ever turned down Ashley before.”
A Hard Place to Breathe Page 7