by Amy Brent
“Let me walk you to the car,” I insisted, standing and dressing. “It’s the fucking least I can do, Lily.”
“Fine,” she said as I grabbed my keys and left the food on the floor, her eyes on me.
Lily
“Aren’t you going to take that?” I asked him as he cast a dark look around the room.
“They’ll clean it this weekend,” Landon murmured, making me shiver. He could be so warm and passionate one moment and so cold the next, making my heart ache as I looked at him.
I wanted him. I knew that, yet I still pushed him away, too scared to face my own feelings. I was clinging to Brian, or at least the idea that we had something of a future together. I couldn’t even consider the idea of risking my dream job for an affair that could burn out in no time at all, even though I knew we could both feel the heat between us. I was lost in my thoughts as he cleared his throat, making me glance up at him. “Ready?” The defeat in his voice was evident, and I nodded slowly.
“Sure.” I left first, the night playing through my mind as he shut off the light and pulled the door closed. We were silent as we walked to the elevator. Wasn’t I in his lap an hour ago, coming as I cried his name? Didn’t I try to leave once before I went back for more, something I wanted again right now? Warmth flooded my skin at the thought.
We rode the car down to the garage, where he led me to my car and stared me down. I saw the want in his gaze, but more than that, I saw the rejection. “Drive safe, Lily. I’ll see you on Monday.” I nodded and slipped into my car, feeling tears slide down my face as he walked away toward his SUV. I knew I was letting an amazing man slip away from me, but I was powerless to stop it as I started my car to leave. I still felt the slickness between my legs as I shifted in my seat, caring more about Landon than I did about the fact that I was ruining my skirt.
I made my way home, crying in the shower as I rinsed away all traces of Landon from my body. I still felt the tingle between my thighs from the sex we’d had, but that would fade with time. It would all fade with time, and I hoped I would stop crying before Monday.
I stayed in bed the rest of the weekend, dozing and regretting leaving Landon at the office. Part of me wanted him to reach out to me, but my phone was silent on my counter. I did hear from Brian and had dinner with him on Sunday, declining his invitation to spend the night at his apartment. I lied and said that I needed to be at work early on Monday. Everything that had happened over the last month or so made me doubt my feelings for him. I was confused, and I tossed and turned in my bed as I tried to sort through my conflicting emotions.
I thought about the first time I slept with Landon, as well as the last two. They all had one thing in common: pure heat. It was a heat I didn’t want to deny myself as I dragged myself out of bed and showered. I pulled on a black skirt and a black silk T-shirt, pulling my hair back into a low ponytail before I put on a small amount of makeup.
I drove to the office blankly, unaware that I was there until I was parked and looking around. Everyone was walking in, and I sipped my coffee slowly as I contemplated going home. I didn’t want to be here.
I got out and walked to the building, entering the elevator quietly and moving to the back as Lauren slipped inside before the door closed. I didn’t want her to know about my mistake; it was not for the whole office to discuss. She left before me, striding to her section of the building as I slowly made my way to my desk. “Shit.” I forgot my coffee in the car. I locked up my purse and warmed up my computer before heading toward the break room. I noticed Landon walking toward me, and I took him in with remorseful eyes as he stared at his phone until he was at his door. “Good morning.” He glanced at me with a dismissive gaze as he opened his door to walk inside. It didn’t take much to notice the dark mark on his neck, high and near his jaw, and I pressed my lips together.
Landon moved on quickly. I didn’t even have sex with my boyfriend at all this weekend.
Landon left every day for lunch, and we barely worked together inside his office that week. It was all emails and brief texts, making me crazy with need. I wanted to talk to him like we used to, see his gorgeous eyes. I wanted him to look at me the way he had the times we’d been together. But I convinced myself that this was best for both of us.
Even after telling myself that all week, I broke up with Brian Friday night. I did it over the phone, not even going to dinner or his apartment. I just told him before leaving work and then went home alone, wondering what Landon was doing. I knew I had let myself get carried away with him, that this was my fault. I deserved all the suffering I was going through, as well as the guilt. Brian wasn’t a bad guy at all, just young. He didn’t deserve what I had done to him with my boss. I know deep down that was why I had ended it with Brian.
Through all of it, I was going to keep my job. My future was in my hands, and I was going to succeed at my career, even if it was in a place where I had made so many mistakes.
The smile on the elevator did turn into a friendship. Her name was Jasmine, and she was the same age I was, new to the company. She assisted another one of the partners, and it was a relief to have someone to talk to again. We’d go to lunch and discuss college and work, though it took me some time to confess what had happened with Landon. I had needed to know that I could trust her, and Jasmine had proved that I could, so I revealed the truth over drinks at a bar on Friday night two weeks after the first time we had lunch together.
Jasmine was sympathetic, and we were both drunk. It felt good to have it off my shoulders, and she soothed me through all of it before the night was over. But then we saw Landon walk in with friends when we were preparing to leave. “Are you going to be okay?” Jasmine asked as she followed my gaze to him.
“Yes, of course. We work together after all.” I smiled at her before I urged her to go, as she had to get to her sister’s for the weekend. I gave her a hug and thanked her for the kind words before I reached over for my own purse.
Another night alone at home. Great. I was just moving backward when I felt someone close to me, and I stilled as a familiar scent filled my nostrils. “What are you doing?” I asked as Landon pressed against my ass. “We could be seen.”
“Nobody comes here from work,” he replied as I frowned. “I fucking miss you. I miss this body.” I knew I was single and technically free now, but Landon was still my boss.
“Looks to me like you’ve been busy,” I shot back as his hand circled my hip.
“Come home with me.” I wondered how much further I was willing to sink into the abyss I had created. This was not going to solve anything, as much as I wanted it. I’d just talked about it, finally. I was just starting to feel some relief.
“Landon,” I murmured as heat flooded my thighs.
“I want to fuck you.”
With that, I gave in. He slipped me his address on a napkin after I agreed, and I struggled to get a ride with my phone. I was drunk, and there was no way I was driving. Landon walked over to his friends and told them something before leaving. I watched for a moment, realizing that this was actually going to happen.
I wondered if the affable guy driving knew that he drove so many people to their sins. He was just chatting about the weather. It was late, I was drunk, and even I knew I was nervous. He told me to have a good night as I left the car, and I smiled weakly. I had never been inside Landon’s complex this way before, so I walked into the large lobby as I looked around for the elevators.
Oh, god. I was going to fuck my boss tonight, and I was dripping wet at the thought.
I arrived on his floor and made my way to his door, tapping gently before he opened the door and pulled me inside.
Landon
I claimed her lips as soon as my door was closed, pulling Lily close. The last few weeks of no contact had been rough, even though I’d tried to fuck her out of my system with several women. They just weren’t Lily, who had become incredibly important to me over the time we’d worked together. Our lips crashed together, our ton
gues dancing as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I slipped my hands down to cup her ass as she wrapped her legs around my waist, and then I carried her to the bedroom.
Nadine had the other apartment, and this was all mine. I’d settled for more than I initially wanted to, but it was over. That had been the ultimate goal for me, and I was happy with all of it, apart from the fact that Lily wasn’t mine. I dropped her on the mattress and lifted her dress over her head as she raised her arms. I needed her naked and ready for me. I unhooked her bra as her hard nipples screamed my name.
Lily was beautiful.
Her underwear was drenched when I pulled it off, finding her pussy glistening with desire. I struggled with what to do first, and finally I stripped off my clothes and covered her body with mine as I kissed her.
Our mouths clung to one another, open and wanting and needy as our tongues moved together. I slipped a hand over her body to cup her breast, squeezing her nipple as she moaned. My cock was painfully hard as I brushed against her stomach and reached a hand down between her legs. “You’re so wet,” I told her as I pulled away for a moment, stroking her folds slowly as she panted loudly. I slipped two fingers inside her, and she cried out, pulling me down for another kiss.
Lily rocked with my fingers, bringing me deeper with each movement until she was tight around me, flooding me with her heat. “Landon, oh fuck. Landon.” I slid my fingers out to taste them as she watched with blurry eyes. “You came to work with a hickey after.” I heard the emotion in her voice and saw the pain in her eyes as I ate her off my hand. “How many women have there been?”
“They were never enough,” I assured her as I dropped over her body and sucked her nipple into my mouth. She reached around my head and pulled me closer with a keening sound, telling me she had missed me just as much as I’d missed her. I treated both nipples the same before kissing down her stomach and attacking her pussy with my mouth.
Maybe I was crazy, but nobody tasted like Lily. Nobody affected me like she did. I nipped and teased her relentlessly until she was bucking against my mouth with a wild orgasm, at which point I held her still and sucked her clit between my teeth. She was screaming in her struggle to move, making me even harder. I pulled away from her and met her wild gaze with my own before I pulled her legs farther apart and dropped my body between them. “Do you have a condom?” she asked in a firm, scratchy voice that left me with no doubt that this wasn’t going any further without one.
I didn’t ever want to wear one again with her, but the protest that was on my lips faded away. I wanted to assure Lily that I had been safe with anybody else to a fault, but the wary look in her eyes told me it wouldn’t matter. I reached blindly for the drawer beside the bed and pulled one out, rolling it over myself before she changed her mind.
Not only was she still into the idea, but Lily climbed onto her hands and knees to present herself to me. Part of me couldn’t wait to be inside her as I moved forward and found her dripping entrance, but another part of me longed to see her face as she came. This felt more like a fuck right now when I wanted so much more from her. I had been talking to people at work, finding a place for her in the company that would allow us to date without taking away her dream. I had made plans for us for when I asked her for her commitment, thinking of every romantic gesture I’d ever done or heard of to make this work.
I knew I fucked up going to the bar that night and then home with…what was her name? She was just the first one. But the arrogant part of me had been happy to walk into the office with that mess of a hickey on my neck, as if I were proving something other than the fact that I was an asshole. I had just been in a hurry to get Lily the hell out of my mind, and it hadn’t worked. Now I was inside her and slapping against her delicious ass when I only wanted to see her face.
Still though, she felt good as she rocked with me and moaned or cried out with every thrust of my hips. I hardened as I felt her tighten in her release, screaming my name as she clutched my messy blankets. Fuck. I jerked forward as I filled the latex holding me back from her, still violent but not what I had intended when I brought her here.
Seeing her at the bar had just set something off in me. Seeing her beautiful smile had made me tell my friends that I would be right back before I rushed over to talk to her as that other woman who worked in the building (for a fleeting moment I’d been happy that she was with anyone but Lauren) left. I didn’t expect to ask her to come home with me, and once I did, I never dreamed she would say yes. Now, I grunted her name as my cock drained, gripping her hips tightly as she let out a slow breath.
Letting go, I tumbled onto the bed as she moved flat on her stomach. We were both damp with sweat, but still, I pulled her close to me to breathe in her scent. I almost hadn’t known how much I had missed it until now. “You feel so good.”
“So do you,” Lily murmured, but she seemed to tense in my embrace.
“I know that you think poorly of me now, after how I was acting. I just…couldn’t deal with you walking away from me again. I just flipped out a bit, but I’m over that,” I told Lily, stroking her stomach as she shivered. “I took care of things, and I am free for you. I tied up loose ends. I don’t care how I say it, but I am ready for you. Baby, I want to see you as more than just this.” I knew she’d had a boyfriend once, but she was here, so maybe that was over. Maybe she was ready to be mine as well. “I think I am falling in love with you, Lily.”
“You know that after fucking me three times? Is that how many it takes?” she asked, her voice strained and rising.
“I know because you make me feel the way my first wife did. I never thought I would find that again, Lily. I believed there was only one for me, but then I saw you. I wanted you then, but once we got to know each other, I knew it was my second chance.”
“Aren’t you going through a divorce?” Lily asked me, and I sighed.
“That wasn’t love. That was a mistake.” I didn’t say I would consider a third marriage with her, not yet. There were too many details to iron out before then.
“The fact that I am your assistant? How about that?” she pressed as she remained in the same position, not looking at me.
“You can move around in the building to something that won’t affect us at all.” I slipped a hand over her nipple slowly, feeling it harden. “You can still live your dream, Lily. It would just be with me in your life supporting you at every step.” I knew this was fast and a lot to think about for her, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Lily turned in my arms, pressing herself against me as she sighed. Her lips found my chest as she kissed me just where she knew I’d respond. Before too long, I was kissing her and rolling her onto her back as I reached for another condom. We fucked hard and fast, my hope rising as she clutched at my back with her nails and moved with me. We came together, just another sign that we were meant to be, and after I pulled away to look at her face.
Lily’s eyes were closed, her mouth hanging open as I frowned. She had always looked at me before. “Is it the boyfriend?” I asked in a ragged voice as I stared at her. “Are you in love with him?”
“I am in limbo with everything in my life. I just want to work and secure my future,” she replied softly in a trembling voice. “I can’t do more than this, and if it’s going to affect things, I think we should stop sleeping together.”
“You would work a similar position with the same pay. I am not taking that away from you, Lily. I never would.”
“I can’t think right now, Landon. I am so fucking confused,” she told me as I rolled beside her. I could see the stress in her eyes as I looked at her, stroking her hair back gently.
“It’s okay. I am not asking for anything from you this moment. I just want you to stay with me tonight.” I saw her eyes lock with mine as I trailed my fingers over her stomach. I couldn’t stop touching her, stop feeling her soft skin.
“I can’t, Landon.” She didn’t rush out of there as she had in the past, but she didn’t stay in my arms eithe
r. Lily left, allowing me to take her back to her car this time only for me to watch her drive away.
She didn’t give me a definite answer when she left. I didn’t know what Lily wanted from me or anybody else. I assumed she was single from her vague answer about the boyfriend, but maybe that wasn’t the case.
Lily
Brian started to call a couple of weeks after I broke up with him. I had slept with Landon again amid that. The voice mails and texts Brian sent only increased my confusion. Both men had their own things to offer me, but Landon was so sketchy due to my job. Even if I did transfer to whatever position he mentioned, once word got out that we were dating, I would be screwed anyway. I’d be the woman who slept my way through the company and earned my promotions that way. I’d never be seen as a reliable worker. There was already talk among Lauren and her friends from the single time they’d seen us together, though that seemed to have died down.
I didn’t want to start it up again. I was adjusting to my job, and Jasmine was kind. We were building up a great friendship, and I felt like I was getting back on my feet again.
Landon was sexy, mature, and incredible in bed. He could offer a woman—one who wanted to be taken care of—a lot. He had money, a beautiful home, and the capability of getting anything in life that he wanted. I just felt like I was too independent to accept that. I wanted to make my own way in life.
Brian was young, like me, but he could be sweet. Sure, he spent a lot of time with his friends, drinking, and didn’t quite have his feet on the ground yet with his career. We weren’t just like one another. He was handsome, though, and with a little work, Brian could be a great boyfriend with a future to offer.
Brian made me laugh a lot when I wasn't obsessive about my life, and there was a chance that he could make me relax a little bit.
I went to work every day, putting on professional airs around Landon. I saw the defeat in his eyes, but I just couldn’t give in to my desires again. I didn’t know enough about the other job to even consider it, so I threw myself into my current one.