by Tanya Ridley
Seeing one of my crew members fall, I squeezed off numerous rounds at Marquez before he could shoot me too. Every round tore into him brutally as he trembled and got pushed back by bullets of my nine. When the gunfire ended, Marquez lay spread out on the concrete, dead to the world. I walked up to him and squeezed off more rounds into his face, makin’ sure he got a closed casket funeral, and to give Diamond even more grief.
I then went to the Dodge and stole the duffle bag Marquez was carryin’. As I quickly walked back to our truck, the look on my top earner’s face showed that he was upset by the death of my other goon. His face was stained with anger.
“We can’t do anything for him now,” I said. “Let’s go before the cops come because I know somebody called them.”
We all jumped back in the truck, and my top earner drove off like a bat out of hell. A few minutes later, we were back on our side of town. News travels quickly in the hood because before I knew it, everyone was talkin’ about what happened.
When we met back up wit’ Ace, he look at me with a disapproving stare. I knew he was probably upset about losin’ of our goons, but in this game, you win some and you loose some, that’s just how it is.
“I told you, this was a bad idea,” Ace said.
“He knew the life,” I replied, and then walked off without sayin’ another word about the incident.
Before the night was over, the shootout was on every news channel, and officials were pissed about the violence that poured out into the suburban neighborhood. And once again, they promised civilians and the city that they were gonna crack down on whoever was responsible for the murders that escalated in the city over the past few months. Damn, aren’t they tired of sayin’ that shit.
Without giving today’s shootin’, or the media’s hype about the violence a second thought, I went into my bedroom, took off my clothes and said to myself, “one more to go.” I knew Diamond was next.
I stared at my image in the mirror, and thought about the baby growin’ inside of me for a moment and decided. I’m getting rid of this shit. I didn’t need anything else slowin’ me down.
Chapter 24
Diamond
Friday morning, I woke up to my house phone ringing continuously, with me trying my best to tune the shit out. I’d turned off my cell last night, because Rashad and I were spending some quality time together. It felt good being back in his arms. He had cooked a late night dinner for me, and when it was time for dessert, he placed a two carat princess cut ring on top of a big slice of cheesecake.
I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I knew I wanted marriage and a family one day, but I still wasn’t sure if it was the right time, or even if I was with the right person. Scottie was flying into town in a few days and I wanted to see if I had anymore feelings for him, even though I knew in my heart what we had was over. At this point, our relationship was strictly business. I was nervous about seeing Scottie again, and with Rashad back in my life and wanting to get married, my love life was starting to get complicated. I told Rashad that I needed time to think about his proposal, and luckily he didn’t trip.
I lay nestled next to Rashad as tons of thoughts danced in my head. At this point, I knew I was going to get out of the game because this life wasn’t for me. It was time for me to leave the fast money alone and just concentrate on making my salon a success. I just hoped Scottie would understand. I also thought about my mother and how I hoped to get our relationship back in order. But most of all, I thought about Marquez. Our family did need to change for the better and it needed to start somewhere.
I was surprised that Rashad was still sleep with the phone constantly ringing, but who could blame him after last night. Even after I told him I needed time to think about marriage, we still fucked like the world was coming to an end. You would have thought we were never going to see each other again, they way we had sex until the sun began to peep through the window.
I’m not gonna be able to get any sleep, I thought as I got out of bed. I was tired of my phone ringing, anyway. I stood up and put on my robe to cover my naked body that still smelled like sex. When I picked up my cell phone and turned it back on, I saw that I’d missed ten calls and had eight new messages. Even though this was odd, I still didn’t think anything of it. It’s probably somebody from the shop calling me because they need something done. What would they do without me?
I smiled, staring down at Rashad, who was stretched out on the bed. He even looked good when he was sleep. His well defined back was a beautiful sight to see in the morning. I knew that he wasn’t gonna wake up anytime soon, so I went down into my kitchen to make myself a hot cup of tea. As I poured the hot water into my cup, my cell phone went off again. I decided to answer it this time, but was unfamiliar to the number on the caller ID.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Diamond?” Carol said.
“What’s up girl?”
“Are you okay?” she asked, sounding upset.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, preparing my tea. “What’s wrong? Did something happen at the shop?” I knew Carol probably had some gossip to tell me.
“Oh my God, you haven’t heard? It’s been all over the news,” she informed.
I held a look of confusion even though she couldn’t see my facial expression. “What’s been all over the news?”
There was a long pause and her silence started to worry me. Carol of all people, was never quiet, so if she was hesitant about saying what was on her mind, something was terribly wrong. “Carol, what’s been on the news?” I repeated.
Her voice was low. “I’m sorry, Diamond,” she cried out, “Marquez is dead. He was shot and killed last night.”
Hearing the sudden news, I felt frozen. My cup fell out my hands, breaking on my hardwood floor, and the phone soon followed. I pressed my back against the refrigerator, and became overwhelmed with pain and grief.
I immediately began to cry, thinking to myself, not Marquez. Maybe I heard wrong. After the talk we just had a few days ago, he couldn’t be dead. It had to be a dream. I slid down to the floor, with my back still pressed against the refrigerator. I was shaking and couldn’t pull myself together. I wanted to scream, but felt mute. It was almost as if there was a hard lump in my throat.
I heard Carol shouting, “Diamond, are you still there? Please pick up. We need to talk. There’s more…please pick up.”
With all the strength left inside of me, I reached for the phone. I needed to know, what she was talking about. I put the phone to my ear. “Carol…what happened?”
“They gunned him down in Scottdale,” she informed.
“But how? Nobody knew he stayed out there,” I replied.
“Everybody is saying that it was Mya and her crew and that Marquez got set up.” She paused for the second time then continued, “Diamond, is Rashad there with you?”
Now I was really confused. What the fuck did he have to do with anything? “Yeah, he is.”
“Well, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I believe Rashad is a snitch.”
“What?” I asked in shock.
“I heard he’s working wit’ the Feds to bring you, Mya, and everyone else down. Marquez dug up some info on him and found out he was dirty. He had planned on tellin’ you, but I guess he never got the chance.”
Tears continued to run down my cheeks. “I can’t believe this, Carol.”
“I know. Rashad is the reason why Marquez got killed. I also heard he caught a case in New York and took a plea for less time to be an informant. Yo, the cops were going to arrest Marquez for some warrants, and somehow Mya found out.”
I was so fucked up by what Carol was telling me. What’s going on? All I knew was that my cousin was dead, and now Rashad was supposed to be a snitch. My world seemed to be coming to an abrupt end.
“Diamond, I’m coming over,” I heard Carol say.
But I didn’t respond, I just hung up the phone. The thought of not seeing Marquez anymore, tore my heart to shred
s. It was if I was reliving my brother’s death all over again. It felt like I had failed and nothing mattered to me anymore, not my house, the money, my shop, even life.
The Rashad I knew wasn’t a snitch. He was a die-hard niggah, making his ends and was a man you didn’t want to fuck with. It made me sick to my stomach to think that he could be responsible for my cousin’s death and working for the F.B.I to bring down my family and the woman he was supposed to be in love with.
I remained glued to the floor for a moment before drying my tears and slowly got up. It’s funny how fast your life can turn around. In one second, your life can change for the better, or the worse. I started thinking, and did find it strange that Rashad had come back to Atlanta so sudden. I was gonna kill him if he was taking advantage of me to save his own ass. I felt myself zoning out, not giving a fuck anymore. I went into the next room and pulled out my .40 Caliber from the coat closet, knowing Rashad was still sleep. I went into the bedroom with the gun in my hand and fire racing through my body.
I stared at Rashad as I stood over him. Is he a snitch? I asked myself. Is he the reason why Marquez is dead? With my tear stained face, I raised my weapon and pointed it directly at him. I can’t believe he even wanted me to be his wife. I trusted Rashad and had jeopardized my relationship with Scottie to be with him. If I found out that he’d stabbed me in the back, I swear, I was gonna take his ass out.
I tapped the nose of the gun lightly on his shoulder. As he began to wake up, he turned over only to be taken aback by seeing the gun pointed at his head. He instantly became wide-eyed, lifted himself up and moved back against the headboard.
“Diamond, what the fuck is going on?” he asked.
I stared at him, as tears began to fall again. “I need to know something, and don’t fuckin’ lie to me.”
“What’s up wit’ the fuckin’ gun?”
“I thought you loved me, Rashad?”
“Yo, I do love you. Have you lost your mind or some shit? Put the gun down,” he ordered.
“Marquez is dead,” I enlightened.
He looked at me with a strange expression. “Damn, I’m sorry to hear that, but why do you have that gun pointed at me?”
“Did you have something to do with it?”
“What? Are you serious? I barely knew your cousin,” he answered.
“Why are you here? What made come back to Atlanta?” I asked.
“I told you before. I came back for you. I missed you, baby,” he answered.
The thought of him lying to me again, pissed me off. I pulled the trigger on my gun, and the bullet whizzed by the side of his face, missing him slightly.
“Bitch, are you fuckin’ crazy!” he yelled, clutching his right ear.
“That was just a warning shot, to prove I’m not fuckin’ playing with you, Rashad. I missed on purpose, but I swear on everything that I love, if you keep lying to me, I won’t miss again.”
I moved a bit closer, bringing the barrel a few inches closer to his head. “Why are you here after you’ve been gone for almost a year?” I asked again in a stern tone.
His face tightened and he looked hesitant to speak. I knew then that he was guilty of something. “I didn’t have a choice,” he replied looking at the floor. “I fucked up and was looking at twenty-five years. The Feds knew about my trips up north, so when I got to New York they were waitin’ for me. They wanted to know about you and Mya at first, but then they wanted information about Marquez. They had me under surveillance for a long time, and threatened to lock my ass up, if I didn’t give them something. So to get a lighter sentence, I became an informant.”
“How did you know Marquez stayed in Scottdale?” I asked.
“I overheard y’all talking one night and picked up on the conversation. Then I went through some information you had lying around on the kitchen table one day, and found his phone number, so I gave the police that too, but don’t worry baby. I just gave them small stuff. I never knew anything major about you anyway. But they are after that white dude you were messing wit’ named, Scottie, so you need to stay away from him.”
I was extremely hurt. “How could you, Rashad. You used me and my family to save your own ass.”
“What was I supposed to do, Diamond? Those mutha-fuckas were talkin’ about givin’ me life,” he said, raising his voice.
“So you decided to jeopardize me and my people because you fucked up?”
“Well, I did think about it first,” he replied. Do you know how hard this was for me. You know I love you, baby.”
“Fuck love!” I shouted. I could tell that I was about to explode.
“Put yourself in my position, and you would’ve done the same thing,” he replied.
“I’m not a snitch and will never become one. You’re a fuckin’ coward. I can’t believe I fell for that bullshit story. I can’t believe that I fell in love with you again. My fuckin’ cousin is dead because of you!”
“It wasn’t personal, Diamond. It’s just how the game is played sometimes. I can’t do prison for twenty-five years, sorry.”
I felt so disgusted. After all this time, I thought he was a true thug and man about his business like Marquez and my brother, but I was wrong. Everyone I knew, never snitched, and took their punishment like soldiers. Didn’t Rashad’s bitch ass understand that there were consequences to this game?
It took everything that I had in me not to squeeze the trigger and end his life. He was a bastard and now the Feds were probably putting a case against me. I was in a bad predicament.
“It’s over, Diamond. Once you’re on the Feds radar, it doesn’t disappear. But trust me, they don’t want you, they want your connect, Scottie. And they’ll use you, me, and whoever else to try and bring him down,” he said. “Oh, and I forgot they want that crazy ass bitch, Mya too.”
I couldn’t stop shedding tears. “They’re coming for you,” I informed him.
He looked at me like I was on medication. “What are you’re talkin’ about?”
“Marquez’s crew, they’re on their way here right now and they aren’t too happy with your bitch ass.”
“So it’s like that, Diamond? You gonna have me killed just that easy after everything we been through. It ain’t gotta be like this, just cooperate with the Feds, give them what they want and you and me, can still be together. We can go somewhere and start over, leave far from this city and do us,” he said.
It was ugly, watching him trying to snake his way out of the situation. I couldn’t believe he wanted me to go down that road of becoming a rat, and defy everything that my brother and Marquez stood for in this game. Yeah, I wanted a change, and leaving ATL to possibly settle down and start a family sounded nice, but I wasn’t bringing anyone else down just to save my own ass. I grew up on loyalty and trust, so to see this mutha-fucka trying to stain my reputation made me sick to my stomach.
“C’mon Diamond don’t be brainwashed like all these other stupid mutha-fuckas in the game. Fuck loyalty, I’m out for myself, and if you ain’t down, then fuck you, your cousin and …”
I felt the gun suddenly go off in my hands, striking Rashad in the chest before he could finish his sentence. His eyes enlarged, as he clutched his chest where the bullet struck. His breathing became sparse as I witnessed him still trying to hold on for dear life.
My hands shook and the tears that ran down my face were endless. With the smoking gun still in my hand and aimed at him, I fired several more shots until Rashad slumped over. I slowly walked away and put the gun back in the closet, still in shock about what I’d just done. When I was out in the street with Mya, I’d pulled my gun out on several different people, but I’d never killed anybody before. The guilt that came along with taking someone’s life immediately jumped on my conscience. I didn’t know what to do.
I left him in my bed with his blood staining my sheets for almost an hour, until the doorbell rang. As soon as I answered it, Carol stepped inside and held me as tight as she could. “Diamond, I’m so sorry. Oh
my God, are you okay?”
I felt limp in her arms, like I was about to pass out. “I’m okay.”
She looked at me with a concerned expression. “Where’s Rashad?”
“Upstairs,” I said, not mentioning to her that he was already dead.
“Well I have somebody who wants to talk to you,” she said, wiping away my tears. When Carol went to the door and stuck her head out, several seconds later, a man walked in who I never expected to see. I couldn’t believe she had brought him to my home. Was this a set up? Damn, is he gonna kill me?
Chapter 25
Mya
The federal investigation on me and my crew was crackin’ down hard, after Marquez’s murder. They cops were becomin’ relentless and began raidin’ our spots and lockin’ up everyone that was connected to us. I guess they were pissed off that we’d gotten to Marquez first and gunned him down before they could serve the warrant for his arrest. We had shut it down, and now they wanted to shut us down.
Me, Ace and my top earner, had stopped stayin’ in hotels for a while in order to remain two steps ahead of the cops at all times, and were now movin’ from one safe house to the next. We had to move around constantly. The safe houses were always provided to us by people Ace knew, so if he trusted them, then so did I. Lately, I’d been followin’ his orders more often, which is something I’d never done. I guess a part of me was startin’ to get tired of tryin’ to run everything all the time. Besides, it was me who had gotten us in the situation in the first place. Maybe if I’d listened to him all along, we wouldn’t have to keep hidin’ like fuckin’ Osama Bin Laden. I loved Ace, and after thinkin’ about it, I’d decided to keep the baby, and had planned on tellin’ him soon. I’d told myself that once Ace found out about the baby, I was gonna cut the streets back in a major way. I couldn’t be a good mother runnin’ around all the time. What kind of example would I have been setting for my child?
As I sat in the bedroom of one of the safe houses, I heard someone arguing wit’ Ace in the next room. I got up and placed my ear against the wall to see who the other person was. When I realized it was my top earner, I crept out the room to hear a little clearer. It appeared that my earner was upset with what was going on.