Without thought, Zephyr’s fingers brushed the transponder before his grip tightened around it. The cold metal pressed to his lips before he knew what he’d done. He didn’t speak. It didn’t matter. Kyle felt closer already.
“You once asked me about my scars.”
The sound of Kyle’s voice in Zephyr’s hand had him juggling the communication device to keep from dropping it. Once he had it under control, Zephyr held the transponder against his chest and hung on to Kyle’s every word. He had no clue how long he’d been sitting there, zoned out and hoping for Kyle’s voice to return, but he was so fucking relieved to have him back. Even if it was only in voice.
“As I mentioned before, my parents were religious zealots. Actually, my father was our township’s minister. He constantly gave long-winded speeches about the perversion of life calling themselves helper bots. We never owned one, and I’d never met one, so I took his word as gospel. One day, when I around seven, I was outside making mud pies, as boys do. This little girl with blonde curls and big brown eyes showed up to play with me.”
Zephyr settled deeper into his chair, clinging to the sound of Kyle’s voice, and getting lost in the story.
“At first, I didn’t want to play with her, because I’ve never liked girls,” Kyle said with a laugh, making Zephyr smile. “but she stamped into the mud right beside me, sat down, and helped me dig up worms. We played all day. I didn’t want to go home. Since I’d never had a friend, when I did go home, all I could think about was seeing her again the next day. I took my first ass-whooping of the night for ruining my clothes.”
Zephyr’s mood turned dark. No one touched Kyle. He didn’t care how long ago it was. Unfortunately, Kyle kept talking and making things worse.
“Even that couldn’t dampen my mood. All through dinner, I couldn’t sit still or stop talking. I ran through the list of all the fun we’d had. My mom smiled—like she always did when I spoke. She asked me my new friend’s name and where she lived. When I told her that Emily lived in a blue house, three streets over, everything went quiet. It was like the air right before a tornado.”
For a moment, Kyle fell silent. Zephyr thought he’d snap before Kyle spoke again. When he did, he sounded distant, as if he’d removed his emotions from the memory. “Before I knew what was happening, my back was bleeding from the lashes I’d taken. I was told I was to never speak to that little girl again, and I was sitting in my room—hungry, hurting, and crying. As it turns out, the crime I hadn’t realized I’d committed was associating with what my father considered to be a freak of nature. See, that little girl had been in an accident earlier that year. She was more computerization than person—a cyborg. You asked why I didn’t have my scars removed and I gave you a smartass answer. The truth is, I deserve to keep them.
“The next day, when Emily came to see me again, I called her a freak and every other ugly term my father had the night before. Even then, I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop. We are what we’re taught, until we choose not to be any longer. There was a real person behind all the words I said to her. I’ve never doubted that I scarred her for life in a way no one can see. So I keep my marks, because I deserve them. I never wanted to become my father,” Kyle said, sounding sad. “He honest-to-God believed that girl should’ve died as God intended rather than having an unholy life thrust upon her. I’ve never thought that way. Why am I here while you’re there?”
Zephyr wished he knew. When he’d made the decision to take Kyle back to Dead-Zone, he was certain he knew his mind. Now he couldn’t recall why he’d believed he could do this. Most of all, he couldn’t understand why he’d been so unbending that night when he loved Kyle so much it hurt.
“I didn’t join the Anti-Droid Coalition until I was sixteen. That’s when my parents died.” Zephyr absorbed every nuance of Kyle’s voice. If he could snap his fingers and make Kyle appear, he would. “We were staying in one of the many towns that had been set up near the border. Like most people, my parents were clinging to hope there would be a quick resolution to the revolt and the world would go back to normal. We could go back to our homes. They both came down with some virus. A physician in our camp said he’d never seen it before and suggested we head up north to the Cybernetics bunkers where the medical facilities were rumored to be high tech. They refused, of course. They both swore they’d rather die than get help from cyborgs. Life granted their wish.”
It was odd. There wasn’t a hint of sadness in Kyle’s tone. He sounded resigned—like he’d never expected more from the pair who raised him. Then Kyle spoke again, and Zephyr heard the anger.
“It didn’t matter to them they had a teenage son who still needed them. All they cared about was clinging to their hate. When they were gone, bitterness moved in. I looked around and everyone I saw looked weak. They were starving, defeated, and accepting of their fates. I couldn’t understand why—if they felt the A.I. community had stolen their homes—they didn’t do something. So I left.”
Zephyr pictured a younger, angrier version of Kyle. Not for the first time since the revolt, he felt a hint of regret for the road he’d chosen.
“When I stumbled upon the coalition, I felt strong for the first time in years. My bitterness helped me move up the ranks quickly. We never had more than the basics, but I wasn’t weak and helpless. Stories would filter in of people killing themselves. They didn’t want to starve to death or couldn’t hack the harshness of living any longer. Each story fed my anger. It would piss me off people couldn’t deal when I’d managed to go it alone when I was only a teenager.”
Zephyr wished Kyle would talk about something else. He missed the man’s smiles. This was torture.
“Then I met you,” Kyle said. His voice softened, sounding sad rather than angry. “I realized something then—I wasn’t strong. All the years I’d spent thinking I had a spine made of steel, and that wasn’t it at all. What I saw as strength was cold. I’m a cold person. My heart was dead, and that was why I felt nothing—why nothing got to me. That is, until I met you.” Kyle took an audible breath as if attempting to calm his temper before speaking again. “You broke through that layer of ice around my heart and changed me.” Kyle fell silent for so long Zephyr worried he disappeared again. When he finally spoke again, Zephyr had to stop himself from smashing the transponder into a million specks of dust. “At least I know I was frozen,” Kyle said, sounding every bit as cold as he claimed to be. “Can you say the same?”
Chapter Eight
After spending a long night coming to grips with the knowledge Zephyr would never answer him, Kyle stared at his temporary bedroom wall and plotted his next move. He couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t go home. Kyle wasn’t sure he had a home any longer. He’d set out on his own at sixteen. Kyle could do it again. Maybe he could live on the fringes of Cryo-Zone. If his lungs filtered the poison, he could set up at the edge of the border and travel inside Cryo to get the supplies he needed. Surely he could be of some use to the droid community. Pull his weight. He could be alone. Kyle took a breath, hoping the shattered feeling in his chest would ease someday soon. Someone knocked on his door, distracting him.
“Yeah?”
At his inquiry, Kiston poked her head in the room. “Any luck getting Zephyr to talk?”
Kyle shook his head.
Kiston winced. “Is it okay if I come in and give you the once over?”
Kyle’s eyebrows rose. “I have no idea what that means.”
She pushed the door the rest of the way open and shook a small medical case at him. “When was the last time you saw a proper doctor?”
With a shrug, Kyle waved her inside. “If you count Zephyr, not too long ago. Otherwise, not since I was a kid.”
“That’s what I figured,” Kiston said, closing the door behind her and shutting them inside the room. After setting the case on the bedside table, she popped it open and pulled out a small gun. “This is a huge dose of way too many vaccines to name. Living here, a lot of diseases can’t survive
the cold, but I imagine you’ll eventually head south. You’ll need this.”
Kyle didn’t argue nor did he confirm her thoughts. He simply sat still and let her shoot him full of meds before checking all his vitals. “You’re in amazing health for someone who’s been without medical care.”
Kyle couldn’t work up a care. “It’s not as if I’ve had a chance to eat unhealthy or sit still.”
“Zephyr promised my mother he’d never love anyone else,” Kiston said out-of-the-blue, knocking the air from Kyle’s lungs. “Droids take vows very seriously.”
Kyle had nothing. She’d said the one thing he had no response for. He’d already known, considering the fact that Zephyr had dumped him back in Dead-Zone without as much as a goodbye, that Zephyr didn’t love him. This—he couldn’t overcome this.
“The thing is,” Kiston continued as if she wasn’t killing him, “as much as droids feel, they don’t understand they can’t control those feelings. They think everything has a button that can be pushed. We know love doesn’t work that way. You can make all the promises in the world, but—when it comes to the heart—they don’t mean shit. So, how did he do it?”
Kiston’s rapid change in topic threw Kyle. “Do what?”
“Steal your heart,” she asked with a smile.
“He told me a joke,” Kyle said without having to think about it. “My life has been very unfunny. Zephyr made me smile.”
“Sounds about right,” Kiston said, putting her stuff away. “I’ll leave you to—”
“My grand lady, Kiston, once made me sing happy birthday to a gerbil.”
Kyle’s gaze shot to Kiston’s as Zephyr’s voice rang through the room. She covered her mouth. Tears sprang to her eyes. Kyle scrambled for the transponder, scared he’d miss a word. “His name was Jefferson, as I recall.”
Kiston sniffed. “It was.”
“That’s the day I realized I was a slave.”
A sob tore from Kiston’s throat, and she sat down on the foot of Kyle’s bed.
“It wasn’t Kiston’s fault, of course. She was just a little girl, and I was no more than a life-sized doll to her back then. Many years passed before she saw me as family. But that day, as I sang to that gerbil, I’d never felt more ridiculous while knowing I shouldn’t feel any such thing. I didn’t like being different. That was the real problem. I loved Kiston and would’ve sung to Jefferson at her command no matter what, but it would’ve been nice if I could’ve chosen to do it out of love for a child.” Kyle couldn’t look at Kiston. He could feel the pain rolling off her in waves and he couldn’t witness it. Instead, he focused on Zephyr’s voice and searched for any clue of the man’s feelings. “The day before I took you back to Dead-Zone, I realized something. Being with you made me feel the same as I did the day I sang to a gerbil. With all my heart, I believe I would’ve loved you no matter what if only I’d been given the freedom to choose to meet you.”
Kyle couldn’t breathe. He sucked air and swallowed. It was as if there was no oxygen in the room. Zephyr had punched him in the chest with his words and stolen the ability to breathe from Kyle.
Kiston stood and ran her hand over his shoulder. “I’ll leave you alone.”
He didn’t glance her way as she left. Kyle’s gaze refused to budge from the transponder in his hand.
“I didn’t take you back to Dead-Zone because I hoped you’d change minds,” Zephyr continued as if he wasn’t killing Kyle. “I took you back because I don’t think I’ll ever change yours. Not really. You could never stay here with me without a hint of doubt always living in the back of your mind, whispering I’m not real. There’ll always be a part of you that thinks I’m mimicking your feelings while having none of my own.”
It wasn’t true. The more Zephyr said, the less Kyle heard. Kyle had been born with an insatiable sense of curiosity. Once he’d seen the life inside Zephyr, he’d known it was real. All he’d sought was more of Zephyr. A reason for the man’s existence. An excuse to change sides and stand at Zephyr’s. He’d not once believed his questions would lead Zephyr to abandon him.
Kyle shot from the bed. He needed to find Rep. If anyone would understand, it would be him. He searched each room until he came to the gym. Dez was busy fighting against computerized targets. They disappeared and reappeared in different spots after each hit. Rep sat in the corner—watching. Kyle darted past Dez and joined Rep.
He handed him the transponder. “Is there a way to track where the signal is coming from on this?”
Rep’s eyebrows rose at Kyle’s sudden appearance and bombardment. His gaze dropped to the device. He turned it over in his hand. Rep’s eyes glowed as he inspected it. “Yes. Are you looking for an exact address or just a general location?”
“An exact address, if you can, but I’ll take whatever you can offer.”
Rep met his stare once more. “May I ask why? I mean, judging by where the signal is coming from, I can guess who, but why?”
Kyle eyed Rep and wondered how much he should admit. He wasn’t ashamed of his relationship with Zephyr, but he didn’t know if Rep would understand. Before he had time to decide, Dez appeared at Rep’s side. The corner of Rep’s mouth lifted in a wicked smirk as his gaze moved to Dez. His entire demeanor changed, and Kyle knew even before Rep dipped his head and captured Dez’s lips—they were in love.
“What are the two of you plotting?” Dez asked the moment he came up for air.
Rep glanced Kyle’s way, as if leaving it up to Kyle to be honest. Kyle appreciated that more than Rep would ever know.
Kyle answered before Rep could make up any stories on his behalf. “I asked Rep to track a signal for me.”
“Decided to go get your man, huh? Good for you,” Dez said, surprising Kyle. “Droids overthink everything. If you let Zephyr stew for too long, he’ll shut you out.”
The ache in Kyle’s cheeks made him realize how big his smile had gotten. He liked these people. They were accepting. Too few people were. “I need an address or I’ll never find him. Dumbass knocked me out before dumping me back in Dead-Zone.”
Rep’s smile was big enough Kyle felt sure it matched his own. “So you fell in love with a fool? It happens.” Rep slapped him on the shoulder. “Come on. I’ll find you a better drone than the POS you rode in on and get you on your way. Just do me a favor and talk to Kiston before you go. See if she has anything she’d like you to pass on to Zephyr. She loves the idiot too.”
The drone Miles and his crew supplied Kyle was more high-tech than Kyle had ever encountered. Luckily, it didn’t need his help to do anything. Rep keyed in Zephyr’s coordinates and Kyle was on his way. Kiston had given him an enclosed clear casing with a preserved Zephyr Lily inside, but no message. She’d assured Kyle that when Zephyr was ready to talk to her again, she’d be around. Kiston had also slapped a patch on his chest and informed Kyle she would monitor his vitals during the trip. No one knew how his system would react once he crossed the border. Kyle couldn’t think about it. Some things were worth dying for, and Kyle had no one else.
One mile inside Cryo-Zone, Kyle knew he’d fucked up. They’d been wrong. Whatever Zephyr had done to his lungs wasn’t enough. The air was too thick. It choked all the oxygen from Kyle’s lungs until he sputtered for air. His eyes burned too badly for him to keep them open. Kiston’s voice rang through the air, coming from a speaker he couldn’t see. “You’re almost there, Kyle. Just hang on. I’m calling Zephyr now. He’ll be waiting. Take slow, shallow breaths. You’re almost there.”
It was all pointless sound. Everything burned and itched, but it was all secondary discomfort compared to suffocating to death. That was worse than he ever envisioned. His lungs felt like they were filled with acid. He tried clinging to consciousness even as he prayed for death. As the last wisp of life slipped away, a sense of peace overcame him. Soon, dead or alive, he’d be back home with Zephyr.
“Zephyr.”
Zephyr startled at the sound of his name coming through the transponder in Kis
ton’s voice. He rushed to dig it from his pocket. “I’m here.”
“Kyle is heading your way, but the filters you implanted aren’t working. He’s already lost consciousness.”
Fear slammed into Zephyr’s chest, forcing the air from his lungs. “Oh my god. Where is he? How far out?”
“He’s two and a half minutes from arrival. I don’t understand. I thought he’d be fine, but his vitals are terrible. I don’t know if he has two and a half minutes left.” The panic in Kiston’s voice fed Zephyr’s.
“The fool,” Zephyr said, his fear feeding his temper. “Why would he do this? The filtration system doesn’t work on its own. He needs anti-toxins, oxygen supplements, and eye protection as well. What the hell was he thinking?”
“He was thinking he loves you and wants to be with you, you big idiot.”
Kiston’s burst of anger calmed him. “I won’t let him die. He’s not allowed.”
A snort sounded through the communication device. “I love you, my Zephyr Lily. Please keep me posted.”
“We’ll talk soon. I have to go save Kyle.” He started to rush to the door before another thought hit and he pressed the transponder to his lips. “And I love you too, my grand lady.”
The drone landed with a boom feet from the house. Zephyr nearly ripped the door from its hinges in his rush to get to Kyle. He couldn’t sense a heartbeat. He pried open the drone’s door. Kyle was strapped down in the driver’s seat, slumped over and not breathing. If Kyle lived through this, Zephyr would kill him for doing this to him.
He had Kyle stripped and an IV going in seconds. He’d have to get the man’s heart going, his blood filtered, and fresh air flowing if he hoped to save Kyle before any brain damage occurred. Zephyr kept one eye locked on Kyle’s vitals. There was no activity of any kind. Zephyr’s heart slammed against the wall of his chest. He couldn’t lose Kyle. Losing Mira had almost been the end of him. Only the fight for his freedom had given him purpose. Without Kyle, there was nothing. He’d been such an idiot for taking Kyle back to Dead-Zone. Why had he done that?
Inanimate (Cyborg Book 3) Page 9