She dropped her gaze again, and Liam saw a teardrop splash onto her leg. “But it’s no use. There’s something wrong with me. I can’t connect. I keep hoping that something, like that incredible spanking just before the sex would, you know, be enough to get me there, but it never is. It never has been.”
Liam’s heart squeezed with compassion. He placed his hands over her closed fists. “Allie, you’re not broken. It’s okay.”
Allie’s hands remained balled tight beneath his. “You don’t get it. I lied. A D/s relationship is supposed to be based on honesty, and I’ve started us out with lies. I lied by omission this whole time we’ve been talking and interacting all these weeks. I compounded the lies last night. I lied with my body and my actions—with what I allowed you to believe, with what I wanted you to believe.” She looked up at him, another tear rolling down her cheek. “I totally get it if you need me to leave now.”
For a second Liam didn’t know what she meant. Leave where? The basement dungeon? What was she talking about? Then he understood. He shook his head and turned her hands over, slipping his fingers between hers and forcing them to unfurl.
“Allie, why in the world would I want you to leave?” When Allie didn’t respond, he said, “Let me ask you a question. Have you told anyone else this secret of yours?”
Allie shook her head, looking miserable. Liam reached for a strand of hair that had fallen into her face and tucked it behind her ear. “It’s not exactly something I’m proud of. Not only that I’m broken, but that I’m a big fat liar.”
In spite of himself, and in spite of Allie’s very real distress, Liam couldn’t help but smile. “Allie, sweetheart, big and fat are not words I would ever associate with you.” She looked up with a wan expression and he let his smile slide away. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make light of this at all. I can see it’s something that’s been weighing heavily on you. And I’m sorry that you felt the need to pretend for me. But I’m also very glad that you told me the truth. I appreciate what an act of courage it was just now to confide in me. And it’s also a beautiful act of submission, Allie. I’m grateful that you feel safe with me, safe enough to confide your secret.”
“So what now? How can I be your sex slave if I can’t even orgasm?” Allie forced a laugh, but Liam sensed the seriousness behind her question.
Liam shrugged philosophically. “You know what they say, it’s not just the destination, it’s the journey. I think that’s especially true of BDSM.”
When Allie looked puzzled, he continued, “What I mean is, not everyone, men included, are necessarily able to achieve orgasm with a partner or even by themselves. That doesn’t mean they can’t have an amazing experience along the way.”
“Oh, I get it,” Allie said, a genuine smile lifting her lips. “You know, you’re right. I’d take a good flogging over an orgasm any day of the week.”
Liam nodded, though he silently promised himself to change this dynamic for his sub girl. If he had his way, she would no longer have to choose. Aloud, he said, “Let me ask you this, can you orgasm with your own hand? By yourself, when you’re masturbating?”
Allie shrugged. “I guess so. I mean, I think so. Something happens, but it’s definitely not the earth-moving, mind-shattering experience you hear about. It’s more like scratching an itch, if you know what I mean. I figure there has to be more, but I’ve certainly never found it.” She frowned, adding, “Like I said, I’m broken. I don’t work properly. My lady parts are defective.” She laughed as she said these last words and they sounded so silly that Liam laughed too.
“Your lady parts are just fine, let me assure you,” he said, still smiling. “Listen to me,” he added earnestly. “You’re not broken. I’m sure of it. You just need more. You need the intensity of experience that a D/s relationship can provide, but more than that, you need to learn to trust.”
Allie knitted her brows, a small worry line appearing between them. “So that’s it? You think you can fix me?”
Liam laughed again as he shook his head. “Silly girl, you’re not broken, so there’s nothing to fix. As to your having an orgasm or not, I don’t think it’s something we need to be especially focused on at this stage.”
“What do you mean?” Allie sounded incredulous. “I’d call this a pretty crucial issue, a core problem. We’re about to spend a week together delving into an intense D/s relationship. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t my ability to orgasm fairly key in this equation?”
Liam nodded slowly as he thought how to phrase his words. “Sexual performance and sexual obedience are important in a D/s relationship, certainly. But they are only part of the equation, as you call it.” He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips so he could kiss the fleshy pad of her palm.
After a moment he looked up at her. “I’m not sure where, but somewhere along the line you apparently got the impression that you have to be perfect.” He waved his hand toward his left leg and grimaced. “Obviously, I’m far from perfect.” Distressed by her sudden sympathetic expression, he hurried on. “What I’m trying to say is, I don’t expect or require perfection. What I do expect is your submission, your best effort and your honesty.”
He took both her hands in his. “As we move forward, our focus will not be on making you orgasm. In fact, I’m tempted to forbid you to orgasm.” He grinned, thinking it over as he added, “That’s actually not a bad idea. I might take you to the edge of arousal and then forbid you to come.” Dropping her hands, he rubbed his together, some deliciously evil ideas rapidly forming in his brain.
“You don’t want me to orgasm?” Allie asked, wrinkling her nose in apparent confusion.
Liam regarded her. “Perhaps, eventually, I may permit it. But I’m thinking for now, our focus will not be on whether or not you climax. Our focus will continue to be what we outlined before—stretching your boundaries while exposing you to a heightened level of erotic and masochistic experience. If, in the process, you feel a need to orgasm, you will ask me permission. I may or may not grant that permission. It will be entirely up to me.”
Warming to his topic, Liam continued, “As of this moment, you give full control of your orgasms to your Master. You no longer need to pretend, to lie, to try, or to fail. In fact, you may not do any of those things. What you will do is open yourself submissively to me. Remember, as your Master, I’m also your safe place. That means if you get scared or feel like you need to revert back to that less honest, less open place you’re used to inhabiting, you reject that. You come to me first and talk with me about it. Okay, Allie? Do you think you can do that? Do you want to do that?”
Allie stared at him, her lips softly parted, her chest rising and falling, no hint of the sassy sub girl in evidence. Her eyes were bright with grateful tears that touched Liam’s heart. She slipped from the couch and lowered herself to her knees in front of him. “Yes, Sir. Yes, Sir Liam, I want to do that. More than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.” She wrapped her arms around his legs and rested her cheek on his knee. “Thank you, Sir,” she whispered.
~*~
They explored the contents of Liam’s refrigerator together. Bonnie had provided a loaf of sourdough bread, plenty of fruit, cold cuts and cheeses, milk, orange juice and several of her apparently famous casseroles, including chicken with pasta, ham with potato and broccoli and Liam’s apparent favorite, an Irish shepherd’s pie. Allie, whose refrigerator at home primarily contained bottles of ancient condiments and half-empty takeout containers, was suitably impressed.
Over a lunch of roast beef sandwiches and fresh peaches, by some mutual consent they kept the conversation light, more directed toward their respective careers and experiences in college than their fledging BDSM relationship. This shift into vanilla territory was made easier for Allie since she’d pulled on a tank top and shorts from the clothing she’d brought with her.
While Liam was putting the dishes in the sink, Allie returned what food needed to go back into the refrigerator. As she pla
ced the mustard in the door, she noticed a black velvet bag about nine inches long tucked just behind a jar of mayonnaise. Curious, she picked it up. “What’s this?”
Liam turned from the sink, his lips lifting into a sexy smile when he saw what she was holding. “I was wondering if you’d notice that. I selected it especially for you from my collection. I moved it from the freezer to the fridge while you were putting on some clothes. We’re going to use it this afternoon down in the dungeon.”
Allie clutched the bag. There was something hard inside it. “Go on,” Liam said. “Open it.”
She untied the drawstring and cautiously slid the item from the bag onto her palm. Made of glass, it was shaped like a huge penis. Small, raised bumps covered the surface. Still wrapped in its original shrink-wrap, it was icy cold to the touch.
She looked up at Liam, who was watching her intently. “What is this?” she asked, “some kind of dildo?”
“That’s precisely what it is.”
Allie stared at the toy, at once repelled and fascinated. “Isn’t this kind of dangerous? Couldn’t it shatter or something?”
Liam shook his head. “It’s made of a special kind of glass,” he explained. “It’s as solid as steel. You couldn’t break it if you tried.”
Allie slid the bumpy glass phallus back into its velvet bag, her vaginal muscles spasming with nervous anticipation as she imagined Liam inserting the thick, long sex toy inside her.
Liam was watching her, a slow, sensual smile moving over his face. He reached for his walking cane. “Let’s go downstairs. I want to use you. Bring the velvet bag with you.” He walked from the room, leaving Allie to follow him.
At the head of the basement stairs, he was waiting. “Take off your clothes,” he instructed. “You will always be naked when you enter my dungeon.”
Setting the velvet bag down carefully, Allie quickly shucked her clothing, leaving it in a little pile at the head of the stairs.
Sir Liam, watching her, instructed, “Bring the panties with you.” He didn’t explain why, and Allie didn’t ask, though she was instantly curious.
As before, Sir Liam had her go down first. As she walked down the stairs, she toyed with the idea of “accidentally” dropping the velvet bag and letting it tumble down the stairs, though she knew even as this decidedly un-submissive thought flitted through her head, that the specially-made glass wouldn’t shatter.
Once in the dungeon, Sir Liam took the velvet bag and the panties from Allie. He directed her to stand beneath a series of heavy ropes that had been tied over the rough-hewn beams affixed to the basement’s ceiling. The end of each rope was knotted around a large metal ring.
Sir Liam went to a tall cabinet set against one wall. Opening it, he removed several items, along with a black duffel bag, into which he dropped his selections, including, she noted, the glass dildo in its velvet sack. When he returned to her, he set his walking cane and the duffel on the floor.
He had a pair of leather cuffs in his hands. “Hold out your wrists,” he instructed. He placed the cuffs on her, securing them with two-sided metal clips. When he was done, he said, “Lift your arms over your head. See if you can grab the rings on the ends of those two ropes there.” He pointed upward. Allie lifted her arms. She wasn’t quite able to reach the rings.
Sir Liam, several inches taller than she, pulled at the ropes, lowering them until she could grab hold. As he clipped her cuffs to the rings, Allie’s nipples tightened and engorged. Once she was secured, he tugged at the ropes, adjusting them until her arms were fully extended.
Sir Liam stood in front of her. “Spread your legs.” As he spoke, he cupped her bare mons, causing a shudder of pure lust to quake through her frame. With a moan, she pushed against his hand.
Sir Liam smiled cruelly as he pulled his hand away. “Control yourself, sub girl.”
Allie looked away, embarrassed that her lust had gotten the better of her. She
shifted her feet as directed, the change in position adding tension to the cuffs that held her wrists in place. Her heart was tapping like a hammer against her sternum. Something about being suspended in this position created an enormous sense of vulnerability.
Sir Liam bent down and reached into the duffel once more, withdrawing the velvet bag. He slipped the dildo from it and pulled off the protective wrapping. He held up the glass penis for Allie to see. “I’m going to fuck you with this, sub Allie,” he said, his eyes hooding with lust.
Allie couldn’t tear her eyes away from the enormous phallus. “Please, Sir,” she said nervously. “I’m afraid. That thing looks too big.”
Sir Liam only smiled. “A little fear is a good thing,” he said. “As to its size, you don’t need to worry. I have this.” Reaching again into the duffel, he pulled out a small tube of lubricant. Flicking open its plastic top, he squeezed a healthy dollop over the head of the glass cock.
Allie jumped when the cold, gooey thing nudged between her legs. Using his other hand, Sir Liam reached for the back of Allie’s neck as he lowered his face to hers. “Trust me,” he murmured, his lips brushing hers. Then he kissed her, his tongue slipping into her mouth as he pushed the icy cock slowly but surely into her cunt.
Allie grunted against the invasion of her sex, the phallus stretching her wide as Sir Liam continued to kiss her, his mouth hard on hers, his fingers twining in her hair. Keeping hold of the dildo, he began to move it. The little bumps along its sides tickled inside her. When he thrust it in a certain way, she gasped, a jolt of icy fire sending waves of pleasure through her. He thrust harder, the phallus moving like a cock, stroking her sweet spot as he kissed her mouth with rising passion until she began to tremble.
When he finally let her go, Allie gasped, still trembling. The dildo lodged in her cunt remained cold, but a fire blazed inside her soul. She wanted more. Her nipples ached and her clit throbbed.
Sir Liam regarded her with a knowing smile, his eyes glittering. “See that? I knew you could handle it.”
Bending down, he produced Allie’s panties from the duffel bag. Crouching in front of her, he said, “Step into these. They’ll help keep the glass dildo in place for the rest of this session.”
Allie obediently lifted one leg and then the other as Sir Liam slid the silky underwear up her thighs and settled it into place, pulling the elastic waistband high to add pressure to the base of the dildo nestled deep inside her.
He reached once more into the duffel, this time removing a slim, black butt plug covered in shrink-wrap. He held it up so Allie could see. “This vibrating butt plug should add an interesting dimension to your experience.” He opened his other hand to reveal a small, oval remote control.
Though Allie was no stranger to butt plugs, they weren’t her favorite things. Yet, aroused as she was, it didn’t occur to her to protest. The concept of a vibrating plug was new to her and, actually, quite intriguing.
She watched with both eagerness and trepidation as Liam unwrapped the butt plug and lubricated its tip. He moved to stand behind her and pulled her panties aside. In spite of herself, Allie flinched when she felt what she assumed to be the plug make contact with her asshole.
“Relax,” Sir Liam said soothingly. “It’s just my finger for now.” He moved his fingertip gently over the tiny, tight pucker. He pressed gently past her sphincter muscle. “Good,” he said. “Now I’ll add a second finger. You will remain open and relaxed to my touch.”
“Yes, Sir,” Allie said a little breathlessly. Sir Liam was gentle, and the sensation was pleasurable, especially juxtaposed against the thick phallus that completely filled her cunt.
After a while, he withdrew his fingers. Something fell to the ground in her peripheral vision. Turning, she saw Sir Liam had dropped a latex glove to the floor beside her. She forgot about this when she felt the insistent nudge of the butt plug between her cheeks.
“Stay in that place you were a moment ago,” Sir Liam urged. “Don’t tense up. Take what I’m giving you. Take what you need.”
He slipped the plug past her sphincter, easing it in slowly. “Excellent,” Sir Liam announced. “You took the whole thing. I knew you could do it.” He moved once more to stand in front of her, the tiny remote in his hand. “How do you feel, sub Allie? What does it feel like to be filled in both holes, suspended by your wrists from the ceiling and completely at my mercy?”
The glass cock was still cold inside her, though her own internal heat had mitigated much of the chill. The dildo was thick and hard, and she could feel the pressure of the butt plug against it, separated only by the thin membranes of her body.
“It feels very full, Sir,” she said, aware her description was lame. She tugged at the wrist cuffs that held her arms high overhead. “I feel especially vulnerable like this.”
“Only vulnerable?” Sir Liam queried. “Nothing else?” He leaned down and closed his mouth over her left nipple, flicking his tongue over it and then biting down gently.
Allie moaned, her nipple pulsing in his teeth. Her cunt muscles spasmed against the glass cock. Suddenly, the butt plug embedded deep inside her whirred to life. Allie jumped, startled. Her nipple, still caught in Liam’s teeth, received a painful tug.
Sir Liam let that nipple go and shifted his focus to her right nipple, which received the same sensual attention. When he stepped back, her nipples were red and shiny from his kisses. The vibrating butt plug made the phallus buried in her cunt vibrate as well, causing her clit to pulse with aching need.
Fuck me. Fuck me now!
“You want to be fucked, don’t you?” Sir Liam said in a low voice, reading her mind.
BDSM Connections - The Complete 4 Novel Series Page 9