by J. J. Murray
“You’re losing your job, Katrina,” Robert said.
Geez! Word flies so fast in the medical community, and I’m sure Nurse Sprouse broke quite a few HIPAA laws to make sure it flew faster. “I haven’t lost my job, Robert. I go before the disciplinary review board on Monday.”
“The story is in the newspaper, Katrina,” Robert said.
I’m in the paper. How did an internal hospital affair become public knowledge? ES had to have made a phone call. I’m impressed. She actually did some work at work yesterday. “What did the paper say?”
“That you lied to your supervisor about being sick,” Robert said.
“And?”
“You lied to a supervisor,” Robert said. “That alone should be grounds for dismissal, Katrina.”
“What about all the times I lied for your sorry ass when you were too wiped out from studying,” Trina said. “ ‘Hi, this is Robert Allen’s fiancée. He has a touch of the flu.’ ‘Hi, this is Robert Allen’s wife. He has a stomach virus.’ You could have been dismissed from med school if it weren’t for my lying.”
“Don’t you care about your livelihood?” Robert asked.
Once again, he didn’t hear a word I said. “Oh, so it’s okay if I lie for you, but it’s not okay if I lie for me.”
“What have I always told you?” Robert asked.
Trina pulled a sheet up to her neck. “You have always told me so many forgettable things, Robert.”
“I’ve told you that you’ll have to work twice as hard as the white people at that hospital for them to see you as half as good,” Robert said. “One slip up and you’re gone.”
“You are so full of bullshit, Robert,” Trina said. “I work for a light-skinned black woman. How does this figure into your racist theories?”
“From the way you talked about her, I always thought Nurse Sprouse was white.”
“You met her once,” Trina said.
“And she looked white,” Robert said.
“Whatever.” Trina sighed. “Look, this is my first time ever before the disciplinary review board. I’ll get a slap on the wrist or a formal reprimand or another petty write-up in my file. That’s all.”
“They’re going to fire you, Katrina.”
“No, they aren’t.” Trina yanked the sheet off the bed, wrapped it around her, and stood in front of her mirror. Look at you all wild-haired and wild-eyed. It’s a good look on you.
“They are, Katrina,” Robert said. “You’ve been too public with your alleged sickness. They’re going to hammer you. They are going to make an example out of you.”
“At worst I’ll get a week’s suspension.” And that will give me even more time with Tony. I like how this is working out. “That’s the worst they can do to me for a first offense.”
“Why would the story be in the Chronicle then?” Robert asked.
Ellen Sprouse hates me and likes breaking HIPAA laws, that’s why.
“Saint Francis has to lower the boom on you to save face,” Robert said.
“You’re so melodramatic,” Trina said.
“I’m looking out for your best interests, Katrina,” Robert said.
“Are you? Should I feel gooey inside for this sudden burst of humanity from you, Robert?”
“You were once my wife, Katrina,” Robert said. “I still care about you.”
“No, you don’t,” Trina said. “You’re worried about how this will reflect on you. You’re worried the people at General will look at you negatively since you have a lying ex-wife.”
“Who is sleeping with someone she just met,” Robert said.
“Ooh, concern for my career and now jealousy.”
“So you admit you’re sleeping with him,” Robert said.
“Yes, Robert,” Trina said. “We are having sex, and lots of it, and it is good. I have had more orgasms in the last twenty-four hours than you gave me in ten years.”
“You’ve lost your mind with that . . . that . . .”
“His name is Tony,” Trina interrupted, “and he’s very sweet.” The first few times we made love he was, but once I got him worked up, he was quite beastly in bed. And he lasted each time longer than Robert ever lasted—cumulatively over our entire relationship. I told Tony to wait, and he waited. I told him to come, and he came. Tony is the perfect lover.
“He’s sweet because he has the mind of a ten-year-old,” Robert said.
“He has a higher IQ than either one of us does,” Trina said. “And I love him.”
“You expect me to believe that?” Robert asked.
“No,” Trina said. “But it’s true. I love him.”
“So you’ll throw your career away for an autistic musician who can’t love you back.”
Trina left the bedroom and stood in the bathroom doorway. Tony cleans himself so well and so efficiently in that shower. I have to join him soon. “Will there be anything else?” I have an ache that needs soothing and a booty that needs massaging.
“Katrina, please be careful,” Robert said.
Sincerity, too? My ears must be stuffed up. “Why?”
“Because . . . because I still have feelings for you,” Robert said.
“Bullshit, Robert,” Trina said. “How can you have something for me now that you never had before?”
“Katrina, please,” Robert said. “I’m not going to beg.”
“Beg for what?”
“Another chance,” Robert said.
Trina returned to her bedroom and shut the door. “Oh my God! Does this mean she dumped your ass?”
“We had a mutual breakup, yes,” Robert said.
Trina jumped onto her bed and did a happy dance. “It really sucks, doesn’t it?”
“It was a mutual breakup,” Robert said. “She went her way, I went mine, and now I see you on television and I remember what we were like when we were just starting out. Do you remember those days?”
“I’m trying to forget everything about you, Robert.” She opened the bedroom door and saw Tony toweling himself off in front of the sink. Shoot, Tony’s done. He’ll be brushing his teeth soon.
“Katrina, I have a little pull around here,” Robert said. “If you should lose your job at Saint Francis, I can talk them into giving you a position here at General. I’m sure it will be probationary, but you can work through that. And then we can resume our dream together.”
“Our dream ended in my nightmare, Robert,” Trina said. “I have started a new dream, and it will never, ever involve you. I am blocking you forever from my phone now. Good-bye.” I know I can’t do that because of my cheap phone, cheap company, and cheap plan, but Robert doesn’t know it.
She stepped into the bathroom. “I wanted to shower with you, Tony.”
“I must brush my teeth.”
Trina stepped into the shower, turned the hot water on full blast, and watched Tony brush his teeth. Ooh, shake it, Tony. Turn this way. That’s it. Look at that wonderful ass that worked me all night long. She removed the shower head from its holder with her left hand and directed the spray on her clitoris. She slid her right hand between her thighs.
“I am watching you,” Tony said as he brushed. “I see you in the mirror. You are pressing your button.”
Busted. “But I’m watching you while I do this. You’re exciting me.”
Tony spat into the sink and rinsed the toothbrush. He turned to face her. “I will watch.”
Hot pulsing water, my finger going round and round, a man in a tiny towel watching me with a smile on his face, remembering what he did to me again and again last night . . .
Trina nearly fell out of the tub during her climax.
“You are finished,” Tony said.
“Yes,” Trina said. I have never felt so free sexually. Tony’s curiosity is going to make me go to sleep every night in bliss.
Tony helped her out of the tub and put his hands on her shoulders. “I will be waiting in the bedroom.”
He wants more? “Um, sure.”
Tri
na wrapped a towel around her, left the bathroom, and peeked through the window overlooking O’Farrell Street. Geez, there’s more media out there now than ever before. I’m sure they want me to talk about the hearing on Monday, but I won’t give them the satisfaction. I’m going into my bedroom and give my man some satisfaction.
She saw a taxi moving through the crowd.
Angelo and Aika got out.
Angelo pushed through the crowd.
It’s only nine-thirty!
We’re not dressed!
And Angelo looks pissed!
35
“Tony!” Trina yelled.
Tony came out of the bedroom fully dressed. “Yes?”
“You’re dressed,” Trina said, scurrying past him to her dresser, pulling open the drawer and taking out some underwear and a bra.
“Yes,” Tony said.
“When you said you were in the bedroom, I thought you’d be naked.” She leaped into her underwear and put on her bra. She found a pair of black socks and yanked them on.
“I like when you take off my clothes,” Tony said.
“I’ll do that later,” Trina said, crawling over the bed to her closet. “Go . . . watch the weather or something. Hurry. Angelo and Aika are on their way up.”
“Okay.”
She snatched some blue jeans from a hanger and stepped into them. I haven’t fed him, I’m half dressed, the wire in this bra is scarring me, the bed is unmade, and these jeans are wrinkled.
The knock on the door made her jump.
Yanking a red sweater over her head, she raced to the door, opening it with a smile. “You two are up early.” That was actually pretty smooth. I know my hair is a wreck, but at least it’s clean.
Angelo walked past her with a newspaper tucked under his arm and stuck his head into her bedroom.
That was rude. “Good morning, Angelo. Why good morning, Trina. How are you? Did you have a good night’s rest? Why yes, thank you, Angelo, for being so polite.”
Aika smiled. “He’s in a bad mood,” she whispered.
“Isn’t that normal?” Trina asked.
Aika nodded. “Yes.”
Angelo opened the newspaper in front of Tony and placed it on the coffee table.
I am a headline, Trina thought. I’ve gone from a nothing nobody to a headline with a picture of me at Johnny Foley’s, and it’s not very flattering. I look mean. I was tired, geez.
“Read that,” Angelo said, pointing at the “Art E.’s Gal Pal” article.
Tony picked up the paper, read the article, and put the paper down.
“So?” Angelo said.
Tony stared at the weather. “I read it.”
Angelo sat beside Tony. “What did it say?”
“Trina lied,” Tony said.
Oh no! Trina fell back against the closet door.
“What do you think of Trina now?” Angelo asked.
“I like her,” Tony said.
“What I mean is,” Angelo said, “can we trust her?”
“I can trust her,” Tony said.
Trina pushed off the door. Thank you, Tony.
“How can you trust her, Tony?” Angelo asked.
“Trina lied so she could be with me,” Tony said. “I am glad she lied. It shows she cares about me.”
I know Angelo isn’t done yet, Trina thought. He can’t be done. His eyes are still on fire.
“But she broke a bunch of rules,” Angelo said.
“I break rules every time I play the piano,” Tony said.
Angelo pointed at Trina. “She might lose her job because she broke those rules. Tony, Trina is in a lot of trouble.”
“She will not lose her job,” Tony said.
“She’s in the newspaper, for Christ’s sake!” Angelo yelled.
“It is not a good picture,” Tony said.
“You’re right, Tony,” Aika said, sitting beside him. “They always seem to put the worst possible picture next to a negative story.”
I didn’t look that bad, Trina thought. Did I?
“Don’t you get it, Tony?” Angelo said. “Because of you, Trina is about to lose her job. Because of you, she lied. Because of you, all those people are outside waiting to ruin her life.”
Tony stood. “I will go talk to them.”
Angelo reached up and held Tony’s wrist. “Oh no you won’t.”
Tony shook off Angelo’s hand. “Yes. I will.” He walked over to Trina, extending his hand. “Come with me, Trina.”
Trina didn’t take his hand. “I don’t know, Tony. Your brother is right. It might not be a good idea to talk to them today.”
“It is a good idea,” Tony said. “I trust you, Trina. Do you trust me?”
“I trust you, Tony,” Trina said. “I don’t trust them.”
Tony grabbed Trina’s hand and pulled her toward the door. “Let’s go.”
He took my hand, Trina thought. He just snatched it up. “Tony, I’m . . . I’m scared to go out there.”
“I will keep you safe,” Tony said.
“They’re going to try to hurt me, Tony,” Trina said.
“They will not hurt you,” Tony said. “They cannot hurt you with their words.”
“I know that, but . . .” Trina held his hand tightly. “They could hurt you.”
Tony smiled. “They cannot hurt me. You said you loved me last night. Nothing can hurt me anymore.”
“She did what?” Angelo shouted.
“Angelo, don’t speak,” Aika said. “Please don’t say another word.”
“She told him she loved him, Aika,” Angelo said. “She’s known him less than a week!”
“Because she does love him, Angelo,” Aika said. “Can’t you see that? Can’t you feel that?”
“She said she loved him,” Angelo said. “That’s all. Anyone can say that.”
“I cannot say ‘I love you’ and mean it,” Tony said. He held both of Trina’s hands. “When you said I love you, I could not say it because I do not feel it in my heart. I can only feel love in my head. So now I want to use my head to show you my love.”
Trina looked into Tony’s eyes. “How?”
“By telling the shitheads outside the truth,” Tony said. “Come on.”
Trina laughed. “Their heads are not full of shit.”
“Their heads are full of shit,” Tony said. He turned to Angelo and Aika. “Then we can all go to Chinatown. I know all the streets.”
Angelo stood. “You can’t go out there alone.”
“I am not going out there alone,” Tony said. “I am going out there with Trina.”
“I need to protect you, Tony,” Angelo said.
“You must stay here with Aika,” Tony said. “I cannot show her love, Angelo. Show her love. Show her love for me.”
“They’re out to get you, Tony,” Angelo said.
“They cannot hurt me,” Tony said.
“They’re going to try,” Angelo said.
“It is their job,” Tony said. “My job is to protect Trina. I am going to show love for Trina now. Then we can go to Chinatown.” He smiled at Trina. “Are you ready?”
Trina nodded. “Yes.”
Tony winked. “Do not be scared. I will protect you.”
36
“Tony, what do you think of your girlfriend losing her job?”
“Tony, are you giving your songs away for free?”
“Why did you stiff Cielo Azul, Tony?”
“Why’d you tell Kirk Tilton’s mother to fire his piano teacher?”
The wench went to the media about that? Trina thought. What an attention whore!
Tony stood on the sidewalk and looked at the men and women in front of him. He stared at their tape recorders and cameras and microphones. He heard their shouts. He smelled the ocean. He tasted the toothpaste in his mouth. He felt Trina trembling beside him.
“Why won’t you talk to us?” a reporter shouted.
“How do you feel about your girlfriend lying?” another asked.
Trina stood on tiptoe and whispered, “Are you going to say anything?”
“I am saying something,” Tony said.
“By saying nothing,” Trina whispered.
“Yes,” Tony said.
Smart man. “I get it. But they don’t.”
“If they are quiet,” Tony said, “they will hear me saying it.”
“You might be waiting a long time,” Trina whispered.
“I can wait,” Tony said. “It is a beautiful day, and I am with you.”
Trina gripped his hands tightly. “Thank you.”
Tony made direct eye contact with reporters now, not widening his eyes. “Seas of faces, seas of spaces, no oasis, what’s the basis for the human races,” he mumbled.
The reporters quieted down.
“Hello,” Tony said.
“Tony, what do you think of your girlfriend losing her job?”
“Why did Trina lie?”
“Do you believe piano teachers are worthless?”
Tony stared at the reporters in front of him. “Staring through him,” Tony mumbled, “must unglue him, what land grew him, not a true him.”
The entire crowd quieted down.
“I said hello,” Tony said. “I do not know all your names or I would say hello with your name. I will try again. Hello.”
A few reporters said hello.
“That is better.” He smiled and looked into the sky. “Can you hear the birds now? They sing to us for free all day. We must listen to them. They have many words to say.”
“Is he quoting song lyrics at us or what?” a reporter said.
“Shut up, man,” another reporter said. “Let him talk.”
“I came to San Francisco to meet Trina,” Tony said. “I did not tell my brother Angelo I was going. I did not lie to him, but I did not tell him the truth. So, I lied, too.”