I suddenly feel selfish in having burdened him with all my emotional baggage over this past year. This man had encountered loss and brutality in a way most civilians could never imagine. He turns to face me, turmoil darkening the depthless blue of his eyes.
“Yeah, so I used drugs to numb my mind for a while. I couldn’t function without them. Drugs became my crutch.”
I am stunned into silence. I had not expected this revelation. I could never picture Dom as a drug user. I stare into his eyes. They are offering me complete sincerity, yet are filled with vulnerability at having opened himself up like this.
I swallow thickly, reaching my hand out to take his. Tears sting the backs of my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Dominic. I had no idea you’d been through all this. I don’t judge you, just so you know. I have no right to. I’ve been abusing alcohol for months. I’m amazed actually that you’re a functional human being after all you’ve experienced.” I shift closer still, kneeling in front of him, taking his face in my hands.
“I almost threw us away over a stupid, stupid misunderstanding, but we’re together again, and you need to know how much you mean to me. You are a true hero to me.”
He stiffens instantly.
“Kate don’t—”
I hold my hand up.
“No, Dom, you’ve been my point of bearing, my rock. You picked me up when I was ready to give up on life. You’ve fought on the front line, and have lost friends and a precious little girl along the way, but you did save somebody. Me. You’re incredibly brave.”
I place his hand between my breasts, where my heart is beating steadily to drive my point home.
“In addition to saving my life, you breathed life back into this organ. I had frozen everybody out, Dom. You taught me to feel again.”
Tortured blue eyes anchor me to the spot. The utter honesty and trust flowing between us is overwhelming, and I don’t know what I want more, to comfort him, or maul him with my mouth.
“The little Afghan girl’s name was Layla. I had her name tattooed across my chest. Right where I was stabbed,” he says brokenly.
While nursing Dominic back to health, I had seen what remained of a tattoo of a name on his chest. The stab wound and stitching surrounding it partially obscured the script. By its placement over his heart, I knew this had to be something important to him. This explains it all.
“We both bear the ink of loss, Dominic.”
“W-what?” he asks haltingly.
Biting down on my lip to stem my tears, I slowly turn so that my back faces him. Lifting my shirt over my head, I take a deep breath as I remove my bra too, dropping it into the sand.
“You’re the first person I’m showing this to, Dom, and you’re the only man who’s eyes I want on my naked skin.”
I hear his intake of breath, as in the muted light of the moon, his eyes find the tattoo of Danny’s hands on my back.
“Shit, sweetheart, that’s...beautiful,” he whispers hoarsely.
I close my eyes as he runs a finger over the inscription of the date of Danny’s death, goose bumps pebbling my skin. Then his hand falls away and I feel his body heat press into my back. He wraps his arms over my naked breasts to grip me tightly, tucking me under his chin as he tenderly kisses the top of my head. I grip his arms tightly, resting my head back against his shoulder. Feeling the tension in his body, I notice that it’s trembling slightly, and then I feel a warm drop of liquid on my cheek.
Then another falls. Tears. He’s been so strong for so long.
Overcome with sympathy and respect for all that he’s been through, and survived, and crushed by the misunderstanding that led to months of us being apart, a sob catches my throat. I just want to eradicate his pain, and provide the comfort he has given to me so many times.
“Zac was a good guy, a great Marine, one of the best,” he whispers brokenly.
I twist in his arms to wrap mine around his broad frame. My breasts lie against his chest over Layla’s name. Both of us are naked from the waist up. Dominic’s roughened fingers press tenderly over the tattoo of Daniel’s hands as I grip him tighter. My head fits under his chin, and our hearts beat in a tandem drumbeat. Our bodies shake with shared grief and latent passion.
We cling to one another for a long time, then Dom moves slightly, and I tilt my head back to look into his beautiful eyes. They are still damp with emotion. With the moonlight’s reflection, they look stormy and unsettled.
There are so many words I could use to let him know just what he means to me. Now isn’t the time for words though.
Leaning up, I cup his jaw, pulling his head down to me, brushing my mouth over his gently, before touching the tip of my tongue to his lips. He groans slightly and deepens the kiss, plundering my mouth with a welcome invasion of a very talented tongue. Our breath and tears mingle. Usually his kisses render me breathless, daze me, and make me eager to rip his clothing off with my teeth. Tonight though, this kiss is different. It is a melding of our souls.
“I love you, honey.”
Dom swallows thickly, his eyes heavy with emotion.
“I love you too, darlin’. More than my next breath and I…I don’t want to put this off another minute. Life is too darn short as it is,” he says hoarsely. Then he takes my hands in his.
“Neither of us have walked an easy road, but in the last year our individual paths intercepted, bringin’ us together. I would be honoured if you’d do me the pleasure, darlin’, of letting me walk you in a new direction. One that leads us to an alter. I love you, Kate. I don’t wanna lose any more time. We’ve seen firsthand how short and precious life is. Marry me, darlin’, please. I’ll spend the rest of my life lovin’ you with all that I am, and I’d be so darn proud to have such a beautiful woman be the mother of my children.”
The air leaves my lungs. Vision swimming, my lip trembles as his velvety voice delivers words that wrap themselves around my heart, squeezing it like a supporting brace for an injured limb. My hands fly to his chest as I look up into the striking blue eyes of the man that I swear has secret wings sheathed between the layers of powerful muscles. Muscles that lay hot and hard under my hands.
I am looking at my future.
I bring a shaky hand up to cup his stubbled jaw. This man is my avenging angel. He valiantly wrestled and exorcised the demon of guilt and sorrow from my soul, filling me with a love and passion so scorching and intense, sorrow and guilt were beaten back into the shadowed recesses of my mind.
“Yes, I’ll marry you!” I exclaim, flinging my arms around Dom’s neck, happy tears flooding my face.
Crushing me to his chest, he takes me in a deep kiss, and then pulls back slightly, panting hard.
“I want you so badly I can’t’ see straight, but we’ll do this right, sweetheart. Outta respect for the man Daniel was, and all that you’ve been through, and the journey of healin’ you’re still on, I’m not makin’ love to you till my ring is on your finger. I’m still earnin’ your love, darlin’. Only plannin’ on gettin’ married once, so I’m gonna do it right.”
I’m floored by his consideration, but he has nothing to prove to me. Nothing to earn. I am his. Body, heart, and soul.
“Honey, you’ve been so patient with me, when you could have just walked away. I think most men would have. But you didn’t. You were always waiting in the wings, ready to pick up the pieces when I fell apart. Then, with a misguided notion of your involvement with another woman, I, uh, just walked away from you. If anything, I’m the one still earning your love. I love you, Dom, and I want you. Making love is the next step for us, one I’m ready to take.”
Dominic cradles my face in his hands, his eyes staring deeply into mine.
“Darlin’, you earned my love through the courage and bravery it took to for you to get through this past year. You’re one amazin’ woman, and I’m givin’ you the perfect weddin’. If this means holdin’ back for a few more weeks, a month, whatever, we’ll do it. Not gonna take makin’ love to you l
ightly. When I’ve got you naked under me, it’ll be with you as my wife.”
At his words, my heart melts just that little bit more.
God, I love this man. How did I get so lucky? And I get where he’s coming from. Once we cross that line, there’s no going back. Waiting till we are married would be so perfect, that’s if either of us can hold out that long...
“I guess that means no moving past first base for us then, whatever you Americans mean by that phrase?”
“Don’t knock first base, darlin’, until you’ve tried it. It has certain merits,” he growls into my neck, torturously suckling my skin as his mouth meanders its way down to my breasts that stand at full attention, my nipples straining upward in shameless want.
His mouth finds my left breast, swirling his tongue over the straining nipple before taking it into his mouth. His other hand roams the valleys and peaks of my body, making me wild from his touch. Overwhelmed by the rising pressure between my legs, and the gentle tugging of his mouth over my nipple, my eyes slam shut, and my hands grasp his head as euphoric waves of pleasure crash through me.
“Still not a fan of first base, sweetheart?” Dominic murmurs into my ear. The words uttered are an erotic movement of air against my heated skin.
I can’t respond. All I can do is cling to him, breathless and boneless, as my body slowly regains its equilibrium.
Chapter 30
HOPE
~ Kate, 21 April 2012 ~
It’s a few days before our wedding, and Dominic and I have been very careful how we spend our time alone. In the build-up to it, we’ve been actively engaged in a game of cat and mouse, taking great delight in teasing each other. Daring one another to give in, and overstep the line, yet holding back. Dom is so much better at this game than me, my Southern beau being a man of great discipline, of principle, a master of restraint, and it’s driving me crazy. The sexual tension between us is off the charts. Every touch from him elicits a physical reaction in me. He undoes me with one heated look, undresses me with his eyes. And when he kisses me, it’s as though he’s making love to me with his mouth.
Seated across from him at an intimate restaurant not far from home, I lick my lips suggestively.
You want to play games, Mr Dell’Antonio, let’s up the ante tonight...
“Ready to order, sweetheart. Decided what you’ll be havin’?”
“Yeah. I know what I want,” I say in a voice dripping with innuendo, running my tongue over my lips.
Taking a sip of his wine, my eyes linger on the bobbing of his adam’s apple as he swallows.
“And what might that be, darlin’?” he says in a voice, low and husky.
Heart beating frantically in my chest, my eyes trail back up past the dark stubble on his jaw to meet his gaze, which is heated with unbridled passion.
“Well see, this is just wicked torture as the dish I really want, won’t be on the menu for another three days. Seeing its bare ingredients has only whet my appetite and made me crave it all the more,” I murmur seductively, biting down on my bottom lip.
I hear Dom suck in a breath.
“I just know that I won’t be able to get enough of it, nor be able to stop once I get my hands and mouth on it,” I add suggestively, undressing him with my eyes.
At my words, I notice his grip tighten on the wine glass. Totally silent now. Eyes locked with mine, his jaw is ticking, and his breathing is heavy.
I can clearly see the effect my words are having on him and it spurs me on...
“Yeah—”
“Stop talkin’, Kate, unless the next words outta your mouth are a meal order.” His voice is strained and husky. Poor man.
I’m smug with satisfaction at having this effect on him.
“Ooh, I love it when you’re bossy, Mr. Dell’Antonio. You wanna put me over your knee?”
“Kate,” he warns.
Slipping my shoe off, I inch my foot up against his inner thigh, feeling the taut muscles beneath my toes. His eyes flare and he inhales sharply.
“Darlin’, don’t start somethin’ you can’t finish,” he says in a ragged voice.
“Just having a little fun, and I’d be only too eager to ‘finish’ this, Dom.”
“Your order, Kate.”
“Okay then. I’ll just have to settle with wrapping my mouth around a quarter pound fillet with a side salad in the meantime, I suppose.”
Dominic chuckles.
“I’ll make you pay for this darlin’, in the sweetest way. Only three more days.” The hunger in his eyes and the salacious promise in those words has me clenching my thighs.
“Oh, I can’t wait, honey. Looking forward to being punished by your body over and over again,” I purr. It is true. The anticipation of the first time we will make love has me strung out, and in a constant state of arousal, delirious with need.
~ Kate, 23 April 2012 ~
Surrounded by those we love, and staring down the aisle at my beautiful man, I’m completely overwhelmed. I grip Uncle Dave’s arm tightly as strains of the wedding march drift over the crowd before us.
“You’re a beautiful bride, Kate. Your dad would be so proud of you, love.”
My eyes, already damming up with emotion, brim immediately.
“Thank you, Uncle Dave. That means a lot.”
I chose a fitted ivory dress. Silk and strapless, panelled on either side with sheer lace, it moulds against my body like a glove, flaring out towards the base. Mom says the design of the dress makes her think of a mermaid.
On cue, we slowly make our way down the bamboo aisle runner that is embossed with Dominic’s and my initials right in the centre. It’s flanked on either side with a groove of ivory and soft pink petals. Sarah, Mel, and my Mom have decorated this garden gazebo so elegantly; creating magic with the items I’ve chosen. The theme colour is ivory with snatches of green and muted pink. The tulle, which is draped off each row of seating, is twisted into bows that are interspersed with ivy leaves and delicate pink petals.
Above the dance floor situated behind the rows of seating, twinkle lights are draped out from a centre point, adding to the fairytale feel that is utterly breathtaking in its simplicity.
A stunningly beautiful wooden wedding arch takes centre position, adorned with pink and white orchids, and a thick carpet of petals lay just below it. But the real gem in this intimate setting is my soon-to-be husband who stands strong, statuesque, and utterly mouthwatering in his tailored black tuxedo. Chase, and Dominic’s dad, stand on either side of him. My smile broadens as the three handsome men watch my approach.
As we slowly pass the rows of seating, my breathing starts to hitch. Each careful step I take is leading me closer to the man who I have unreservedly given my heart over to. I glance at Uncle Dave who is smiling proudly as he takes the last few steps to presenting me to the man who I will shortly be bound to legally. I cannot wait. I’m giddy with nervous anticipation.
Uncle Dave exchanges a few words to Dominic briefly as he presents me to him, but my eyes never leave Dominic’s as I position myself before him. Looking like he is at a loss for words, Dominic shakes his head imperceptibly, while his eyes rake over me.
“God, you’re even more beautiful than I imagined you’d look,” Dom whispers down into my ear.
“Thank you, baby,” I choke out.
Eyes stinging, I bring his hand up, placing it palm down over the swell of my breasts. I press my hand over his so that he can feel the pounding in my chest. The presence of our guests are oblivious to me in this moment. He is all I see. All that fills my senses.
“Be still my beating heart would be an understatement. You’re so impossibly handsome in this suit….I’m almost sorry it has to come off later,” I say on a breathy exhale, smiling up at him.
The smile he returns is heated and intimate, and I can’t wait to be alone with him.
After the priest asks all to be seated, with my hand in Dominic’s, I start my vows.
“Love and light can grow f
rom loss. This gorgeous man standing here before me is living proof of this. Dominic, a loss broke my heart, but you picked up the pieces and breathed life back into my soul. I brought guilt and emotional baggage into this relationship, yet you’ve unflinchingly loved me back into living, and to loving again. While floundering in my rivers of grief, you became my life raft, guiding me through the rough. This you did selflessly with no guarantee that I’d be a part of your future, and I fell hopelessly in love with you along the way. You helped me to see that falling in love again didn’t mean that I loved Daniel any less. I…I almost lost you too, and I will never again take life for granted.” My voice hitches, a tear slips from my eye and I hear soft sniffing from the seating behind us.
Dom squeezes my hand, clenching his jaw. His eyes are damp from the emotion flowing between us as I speak words straight from my heart.
“You’re my teacher, my confidant, my greatest supporter, and my best friend. Today I give you my hand, my body, and my heart. In the depths of your brave soul, I have found my mate, and I will stand by your side through sorrow, sickness, or success, for all the days of my life.”
Happy tears breach my eyes as I manage to say the last few words without totally losing my composure. I just want to throw myself into Dominic’s arms as he gently hitches a tear from my cheek while mouthing, “I love you,” before starting his own vows.
“Darlin’, Kate. I have the most profound respect and the deepest love for you. I have never seen a woman cry as many tears as you’ve shed over the course of the past year. Watchin’ you suffer…. I felt powerless against the force of it at times.” He clears his throat, struggling for a moment with his composure.
“But by the grace of God, I was finally able to coax you to open yourself up to love again, in the knowledge that life offers us no guarantees. You know that I’m not a man of many words, and the words of a promise are easy to make and so much harder to live by. But I take seriously these words I pledge to you today. Kate, providin’ for and protectin’ you is my job. Lovin’ you and makin’ you happy is my life’s mission. I commit to you my life and my love, always.”
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