Brett retrieved Orion’s food, setting in front of him before sitting back down. “Eat. I won’t hurt you.”
Watching Orion eat soothed some of Brett’s nerves. Exhaustion was edging its way in. He hadn’t slept well last night. Anxiety and a healthy dose of fear had kept him restless, waking him at every sound. The shower and food had relaxed him. Knowing Orion was near and safe had pushed him several steps further. Needing to move, he picked up his dirty dishes then washed and dried them in the small kitchenette before putting them away. The silence in the room was companionable as it always was when he was around Orion, as it had been with Taren.
Not wanting to hover and scare the other man, Brett sat on the couch. On base, he worked, ran, exercised, read and hung out with friends. Here, there were no books, nothing to watch or do. He didn’t even know what he could do to help Orion and his group.
Guilt tunneled through him. He shouldn’t be helping a group trying to start a revolution. He should be trying to get to his family, friends and base. He should be trying to escape and to help his country. He’d taken an oath to defend his homeland, had been raised with the knowledge that all government officials, especially the ruling commander, worked for the benefit of the people. Orion and his people accused the government of lying and being greedy. Brett didn’t want to think of his family in those terms, but he couldn’t deny that both his brother and sister had lied in order to get what they wanted or needed. Blowing out a breath, Brett shoved the argument from his mind. He’d made his decision, there was no going back. Exhaustion rolled over him.
Closing his eyes, he promised himself he would rest only until Orion was done eating. They needed to talk. If they had any chance at a relationship, he needed to know what would trigger bad memories Orion had so he could avoid them.
Relationship.
The word materialized in front of him, hanging in the air. Relationship. Is that what he wanted from Orion? Did he only want sex? To be a protector? If Orion was the leader of this group, where did that leave Brett? He pushed the thoughts from his mind and laid down, trying to find a comfortable position on the couch.
* * * *
Shaking and urgent words pulled Brett from sleep. Blinking his eyes open, he looked up and smiled at Orion. “What…what time is it? What’s going on?”
Orion shook his head, grabbed Brett’s wrist and tugged. Brett yawned and stood. “Orion? Sweetheart? What’s going on?”
“You. Sleep.”
“I think I was.” Brett smiled then frowned. Orion’s language skills and voice seemed to be getting worse. He stopped and forced the younger man to turn and look at him. “Are you all right? No words.”
Orion nodded and pointed to his throat.
“No talking unless absolutely necessary. Not until you’ve had a chance to get used to it.”
Orion smiled and nodded again. He tugged on Brett’s hand and led him into the bedroom then pushed him onto the bed.
Brett sat on the edge of the mattress and took off his boots before sliding back and lying down. Orion stood next to him, motioning at Brett’s clothes with his hand. Brett shook his head, clasped his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. Yes, he would be more comfortable nude, but not if it brought back bad memories for Orion.
The bed dipped and righted itself. He was aware of Orion’s presence. Brett wanted nothing more than to grab the Orion and crush the man to him, making it impossible for him to leave. Instead, Brett waited. He wanted to see what Orion would do. Eyes closed, he bit the inside of his cheek.
His shirt was pushed up. The buttons on his pants undone. Brett’s eyes snapped open. He pushed himself onto one elbow and put a restraining hand on Orion.
“You don’t want?” Orion asked.
“Sweetheart, yes. But, so soon after you…” Brett paused searching for the right words.
“Freaked out?” Orion supplied.
“Yes. Can you come here?” Brett asked, sitting up against the headboard and opening his arms. Orion scooted forward, and Brett wrapped his arms around him. “Don’t feel like you need to, that you have to do anything or make anything up. I can simply hold you if you want until you’re comfortable with it. That’s fine.”
Orion shifted in his arms. Brett loosened his grip until Orion pressed back against him then retightened his embrace, enjoying just holding the other man.
“I don’t know what happened,” Orion said slowly, the words little more than a whisper.
“Something I did triggered a bad memory.”
“Never happened before.”
Brett squeezed Orion tighter. “Maybe, if you tell me what happened, what caused the memory, we can figure out a way to keep it from happening again.”
Orion shook his head and pushed away.
“Okay. Okay. You don’t have to tell me. I trust you. If anything I do ever scares you or makes you uncomfortable, you tell me to stop and I will.”
Orion scoffed. “No one has that much willpower.”
“For you, I will,” Brett promised.
“I want to suck you off,” Orion said timidly. “I’ve been wanting to for a while.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Brett said quietly.
Orion wiggled and squirmed until Brett released him. Turning, he sat on Brett’s lap, knees on either side of him. “Why not?”
“You need to rest your voice.”
“Answer me.” Orion started unbuttoning his shirt.
“Orion.” Brett wrapped his hands around Orion’s wrists. It didn’t stop the other man. “I don’t want to hurt you or scare you. I never want to be the source of fear for you. You need to stop.”
“It wasn’t you. It was the situation. One that I wasn’t prepared for. I want this. For you. For me.”
“Why now? Why not before?”
“Because I’m relatively safe here,” Orion replied, breaking free of Brett’s grasp and pushing the shirt off his shoulders.
“I don’t understand.” Brett shook his head. Blood and desire pooled in his groin. Orion pressed against, shifted until he sat on Brett’s filling cock.
“You don’t need to,” Orion rasped. “My voice and throat hurt. Can we talk later? Please? Right now, I want to taste you.”
“Damn it, Orion! Yes, I do need to know. I need to know why you’ve changed your mind. Especially, if there is a chance of hurting you again.”
Orion sighed and moved off Brett, to sit beside him. Brett missed the other man’s presence already. Breathing deeply, he placed a hand on Orion’s retreating body.
“You run hot and cold,” Orion said, staring at him.
“I could say the same thing.”
“Fine. Yes, I freaked out. Yes, it’s happened before. Yes, I’m pretty sure it’ll happen again. I don’t let that run my life. Any part of it. It can’t. I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be able to show the man I want how much I want him,” Orion answered, the words cracking.
“What can I do?” Brett softened his voice and touched Orion’s cheek, wanting the younger man to look at him.
“Accept me. As I am. How I am. With what I can give.”
It was a simple request. A plea for understanding and trust. Brett blew out a breath. Information may or may not come. There may or may not be a repeat of what happened. There may or may not be love. There were no answers to come. Nothing definite.
They were at dawning of what could be a long-term relationship. Could he trust Orion? Accept him as he was, with whatever the younger man thought was missing or broken?
Brett nodded. “I can. I trust that you know yourself better than anyone, and that you’ll tell me if something I or anyone else does makes you feel uncomfortable or triggers a memory. We can even develop a code so you can tell me in public.”
Chapter Six
Orion swallowed and stared at the wall. Could he do it now? Could he give his lover a blowjob now that he’d gotten Brett to believe he knew what he wanted and what he was doing? Brett’s cock was hard,
so he liked the idea of a blowjob, even if his words weren’t certain. Orion had to admire the man for that.
“I’m in no rush,” Brett said, his voice quiet as his fingers traced designs on Orion’s skin.
With the memories too close to the front of his mind, Orion knew sex wasn’t an option. But maybe, he could finally, fully explore Brett’s body. Turning back, he shifted his focus to Brett. The war of need and concern played over the man’s features, but there was trust in his blue eyes. Orion nodded. He could do this. He would go as far as his mind and body would let him. Brett didn’t move more than his fingers. Orion swallowed again. One day, he wanted Brett to take over, to lead, so he could simply follow but today wasn’t that day.
“See you,” Orion said, the words sticking in his throat. He gestured to Brett’s clothes.
“Okay, but no more talking,” Brett ordered as he removed his shirt and tossed it aside. “Not until you’ve had a chance to get used to using your voice again. Maybe there’s a doctor in this resistance who can help you.”
Orion shook his head. There were several doctors in the movement, but being on the right side didn’t mean he trusted them any more than he did any other doctor. He would rest his voice, because it made sense and it made Brett happy. Orion took a deep breath then let it out slowly, watching as Brett peeled off the layers. The body hidden under the yards of fabric was better than he’d imagined when the man had first taken an interest in him. It was better now than it was earlier after the shower and Brett was pressed against him. The man’s broad shoulders and chest were muscular without being obscene and gave way to ripped abs and a narrower waist that disappeared under the button-up pants.
Sweeping his gaze over Brett’s body, Orion worried his bottom lip. Hesitantly, he reached out and touched the bigger man’s shoulder, hoping he was doing it right. He’d seen Brett’s body earlier, but he’d been paying closer attention to the desire in the brilliant blue eyes than to his body. Now, Orion took the time to explore every inch of exposed skin.
Warm and firm beneath his fingers, the muscles changed slightly with each breath Brett took. Cautiously, Orion stretched out his second hand, looking to find the same spot on the opposite side. Unable to reach all the way over, Orion took a deep breath and straddled Brett’s thighs, eliciting a groan.
“I have to touch you, sweetheart,” Brett said. Need penetrated the husky voice.
Orion nodded slowly. He wanted Brett’s hands on him, too, but fear of triggering another memory quelled some of his desire.
“Thank you,” Brett said, placing his hands on Orion’s legs. His thumbs rubbed Orion’s inner thigh through the material of his pants, sending shockwaves of longing coursing through Orion. “Kiss me?”
It was a question, the tone of voice ensured Orion knew that, but there was an underlying quality that resonated strength and security within him. Releasing his lip, Orion leaned into Brett before he realized what he was doing. Pausing momentarily, he weighed Brett’s words and actions before he continued, conscious of his decision and surprised at the rightness of it all.
Brett’s lips were firm, the action gentle receiving anything Orion was willing to give him. The world faded to the sensations and the utter onslaught of feeling moving through Orion. Shaking, he pulled away, gasping for air. Brett was tense beneath him. Orion bit his lip again. Had he screwed up? Did he do something wrong? Maybe, it wasn’t supposed to feel like that.
“I’m okay. Touch me again. Please?”
Orion nodded, straining to regain control of his body. He resumed his physical exploration of Brett’s body, occasionally kissing him. He enjoyed the play of muscle under his fingertips and the gasps Brett let out. Any remaining concern was washed away by the look of bliss on Brett’s face.
Orion’s hands shook again when he reached for the top button on Brett’s pants. The spot on Orion’s thigh where Brett’s hand had sat turned cold. Orion frowned, pulling his attention away from his task. He looked up at the other man as Brett’s hand wrapped around his. The action pressed his fingers into Brett’s erection. It pushed back at him.
“Only if you want. You don’t have to,” Brett ground out.
Orion swallowed and nodded. He could love Brett for those words alone. The older was man was still trying to put Orion, his needs and comfort in front of his own. Orion squeezed his hand into a fist then released it. He wanted this. Slowly, he undid the buttons and pushed the fabric aside. He inhaled sharply at Brett’s long, thick cock.
“Huge,” Orion squeaked out, swallowing around the lump that had formed in his throat. He ran a finger up the length of Brett’s shaft.
“Thank you.” Brett gasped out.
Orion wanted to taste it. He wanted to run his tongue over the whole thing. He scooted back so he could taste the man properly. Memories tried to push forward. They were forced aside by Brett’s soft words of encouragement, telling him how special he was. How beautiful he was.
“Help me with these?” Brett asked, wiggling his hips and pushing down his pants.
Reluctantly, Orion got off Brett and the bed. He removed the rest of Brett’s clothes as quickly as possible and tossed everything onto the floor. Orion returned to his spot, hoping he wasn’t screwing everything up. He’d had sex before, but he’d never had the chance to explore and enjoy another man in this way. It was more intimate than anything he’d ever done. Tentatively, he grabbed the velvety soft, rock-hard shaft, marveling at the contradictions. Leaning down, he flicked his tongue over the slit. Brett hissed and arched his back.
“Good?” Orion asked, looking up at Brett. He couldn’t help it. He had to know.
“Yes, sweetheart, very good,” Brett answered. “I have to touch you. Is putting my hands on your shoulders okay?”
Orion nodded. The only other time he’d done this, the guy had put his hand on Orion’s head, controlling his movements more often than not. Orion was pretty sure he wouldn’t mind Brett’s hand on his head, but he liked Brett asking, as though his answers mattered. As though he mattered. It made him feel special. Wanted. He liked the idea of getting to know each other slowly.
He returned to his task as Brett’s hands settled on his shoulders. Orion nuzzled Brett’s groin, inhaling the musk that was wholly Brett. Kissing Brett’s balls, Orion murmured his appreciation before returning his attention to Brett’s cock. Orion licked up the shaft then wrapped his lips around the tip. Brett continued his encouragement and praise, the words surrounding Orion like a security blanket. Working on instinct alone, Orion curled his hand around Brett’s cock and took more into his mouth. Brett groaned, his hips thrusting upward and pushing farther into Orion’s mouth, his words morphing into moans. Orion smiled around the shaft and bobbed his head, savoring the feel of the other man.
Carefully grabbing the man’s balls, he rolled them between his fingers. Brett’s legs spread. His fingers dug into Orion’s shoulders. Letting the man slip from his mouth, Orion turned his attention to the lightly furred sac. Kissing and licking each testicle, he put one in his mouth, rolling it around and laving it completely. Brett growled and squeezed Orion’s shoulder. Releasing the orb, Orion repeated the action with the other one, his own cock hard and throbbing. The continued noises his lover made thrilled him.
“So good,” Brett hissed.
Orion released Brett completely before enveloping the man’s cock, taking in as much as he could. Tongue swirling, he covered as much of the shaft as possible, his head and hand working together. Orion used to his free hand to play with Brett’s balls. Pre-cum leaked from the tip of his cock and coated his tongue.
“Going to come,” Brett gasped, tapping him on the shoulder.
Orion hummed his approval. He wanted to taste Brett. Hollowing out his cheeks, he increased his suction. Brett’s balls drew up, and the man roared his release, shouting Orion’s name as he spilled his seed into Orion’s mouth. Orion swallowed everything Brett had to give, savoring the salty and slightly bitter taste. It was unlike anything he�
�d tasted before and a flavor he could quickly become addicted to.
He licked and sucked gently, making sure all traces of his lover’s release were gone then frowned when Brett tugged him up and pulled him close.
“Was good?” Orion asked, unable to keep the question back. With no real point of reference, he had no idea if he’d pleased the older man or not.
“Very good,” Brett answered, wedging his thigh against Orion’s groin.
Orion nodded and snuggled closer to Brett, his own erection demanding attention. He ignored it. He didn’t want to ruin the moment to take care of it.
“You didn’t come,” Brett said, reaching down and gripping Orion through his pants.
Orion shook his head. Brett rolled them over and shimmied down the bed.
“No, it’s okay,” Orion protested.
“Trust me, it’ll be my pleasure,” Brett replied, making quick work of the buttons on Orion’s pants and pulling them down to his ankles. “Gorgeous.” Brett wedged his body between Orion’s thighs, spreading them further apart.
“No, re—” Orion’s protest died when Brett’s mouth surrounded the head of his cock. Wet and warm heat surrounded him. Orion’s mind spun with the overwhelming sensations. The suction was gentle at first then increased in speed and intensity. His hands threaded through Brett’s hair, hanging onto the scalp. Orion’s balls were cupped and manipulated. Two of Brett’s fingers slid into the his mouth with his cock before circling Orion’s hole. Orion squirmed. Lightning coursed through his body. His balls drew up. There was no way he’d last.
“Going to come!” Orion said, gasping the words.
Brett hummed around Orion’s erection and pushed a single digit into him. Muscles contracting, pleasure-pain raced through him. He arched his back and came. His vision dimmed, and his body shook. Brett continued sucking on him until he was soft, sending aftershocks rippling through him. Orion closed his eyes, trying to memorize every detail.
“Do you want your boots and pants on or off?”
Orion opened his eyes, squinted and tried to look up. Energy depleted, his simply shook his head.
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