Desired

by Stacey Kennedy

  “Are you ready to order?”

  Ella broke eye contact with Kyler and realized they’d been staring at each other for a few minutes saying nothing at all. Seriously, Ella! Why in the hell was she thinking about Rory? She swallowed the heady emotion, looking to the young waiter.

  “What’s the special tonight?” Kyler asked in a tight voice.

  She felt his stare on her, but she kept her attention on the waiter. Desperate to pull herself back together, she pushed the thoughts of her past deep inside her. For some reason—and she couldn’t pinpoint why—being around Kyler made her want to shed it all.

  Besides, wasn’t that a rule: Don’t talk about past lovers while out with other men?

  “Our special tonight is the Trippa alla Fiorentina,” the waiter said.

  Ella had no idea what that was, but that’s what she was going for. Try things you never would have done before. “Okay, I’ll get that.”

  “Do you know what it is?” Kyler asked with an amused voice.

  She turned to him and pointed. “Don’t tell me.” To the waiter, she said, “Just get me that Trippa thingy.”

  With a smile, the waiter wrote it down on his notepad, then he asked Kyler, “And for you?”

  “I’ll take the Brasato,” Kyler replied.

  “Very nice.” The waiter took the menus off the table. “The beef short ribs are delicious. Your dinners will be out shortly.”

  As the waiter strode off, Ella glanced to Kyler and spotted his frown. She laughed. “What?”

  “You have strange ordering habits,” he muttered.

  She continued laughing, somewhat glad all his intensity had faded. She also understood; her habits were odd. “It’s my live-my-life-like-I’m-going-to-die-in-six-months challenge.”

  Kyler’s brows shot up to his hairline. “Come again?”

  “I know how weird that sounds.” She glanced to the couple who strode by their table, led by the hostess. “I took up a challenge I heard on the radio. The announcer offered a dare that each person live out their life like they’re going to die in six months.”

  He regarded her. “Because you’d live differently?”

  “Wouldn’t you? I mean, if you only had six months left, wouldn’t you do things differently?”

  “No.” He slowly shook his head, and his expression showed very little. “I wouldn’t change anything.”

  Somehow his answer didn’t surprise her; he seemed to know himself, inside and out. While she’d always been strong, she also hadn’t been that put-together until recently. Only now did she live on her terms and engage in daring things to learn more about herself. Her life had been consumed by death and pain, which clouded what she wanted for her life.

  Of course, it took a challenge to make it happen, but she believed things happened for a reason. Maybe it was providence she’d heard the radio show that day. “Really? Nothing at all?”

  “Nope,” he replied flatly.

  “You’re lucky, then,” she said and sighed. “The day I heard that challenge, I realized I would do everything different.”

  His head cocked, eyes brightened. “Is that why you moved to Vegas?”

  “Exactly.” She ran her fingers over the stem of her wineglass. “This city is so alive. I always thought it’d be fun to live here.”

  He stared at her fingers working over the glass before his gaze lifted. “You fulfilled a dream, then?”

  “Absolutely.” Squaring her shoulders, she leaned against the back of her chair. “For the past months, I’ve been trying new things and doing things that the old me wouldn’t have dared to do. Which includes ordering strange things off the menu.”

  His gaze held hers, an unknown emotion crossing his face. “Why? Is there something wrong with the old you?”

  “Not necessarily wrong, but I lived in that comfortable, safe zone, where I never pushed myself.” She shrugged, trying to find the right words to explain it. “I didn’t want to be a different person; I like me. There was just something in that message that affected me. I realized I needed to start living for me. Doing things on my terms that make me happy.”

  “Who were you living for before?”

  His narrowed eyes made her shift against her seat. This conversation was getting far too serious. She sipped her wine before answering him, “I guess I lived for everyone else. You know, staying in my job because I didn’t want to leave my boss. Living in Savannah because my family is buried there. That kinda stuff.” She paused, as laughter drifted across the room from another couple at a table. “Now things are different and much more exciting.”

  Kyler didn’t seem to notice the laughter; his gaze remained fixed on her. “That’s what you’re looking for, excitement?”

  She chuckled softly. “Isn’t everyone?”

  His gaze became focused as he leaned his elbows against the table. “Let me get this straight. You dare yourself to do crazy things you never would have done before?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Is that why you were so willing to join me at the wedding and acted so bold, considering you had never done casual sex before?”

  She nodded.

  One eyebrow quirked. “So, you are daring yourself to do outrageous things because you’re looking for new adventures and craving to learn more about yourself?”

  “Exactly.”

  A slow, dangerous smile crossed his face. “Well, now, that is an interesting challenge.”

  Before she had a chance to dig into the reason behind that smile, or understand his keen interest in her personal dare, a glass shattered to the ground next to their table. Ella’s heart leapt into her throat as the noise struck her right in the soul, like a knife cutting into her belly.

  A sound that had been imprinted in her mind, one she’d never forget. A wave of fear raced through her, sending ice spilling into her veins. She pinched her eyes shut and froze in her chair, as she absentmindedly tumbled into a memory.

  “Rory, this isn’t you. Don’t,” she managed to shout before firm hands shoved her forward.

  The world spun around her before she went tumbling. A crashing sound came first. The shards of glass breaking as her face crashed into the table became the only noise in the air. When the rest of her body hit the table, her scream echoed in her ears as her forehead ached from the blow.

  She blinked, groaning in agony from the fierce throb by her eye. A second later, she lay on the floor with warm liquid rushing down her face. She glanced to her hands covered in red from the tiny shards of glass broken beneath her. Raising her hand to her face, she cringed at the deep gash near her eye. Then she realized the warm liquid on her face was blood pooling from the wound.

  So much blood …

  Tension rippled through Kyler in alarm. His Dom and cop instincts set off warning bells. He stared at Ella, alert to her every move. As the waiter cleaned up the broken glass from the floor, Ella finally opened her eyes. She looked to him for only a second before her gaze cast down.

  His jaw tightened, watching her harsh breathing. She grasped the table, knuckles white, mouth drawn in a straight line. Terror. Kyler managed to rein in the concern flickering through him, and he placed his arms on the table, reaching for her.

  When she flinched away from him, a frown pulled the corners of his mouth. “Are you all right?”

  Her gaze lifted to his, wide-eyed fear ragging in its depths. Keeping his hand close to hers, he hesitated. His stomach roiled under a reaction he’d seen before, too many damn times. The first hint of the reason behind the pain he’d seen in Ella was showing itself, and he wondered if Aidan had seen it, too. “Has someone hurt you, Ella?”

  Her face became ashen. “P-p-pardon?”

  Drawn in to protect her, he inhaled a slow breath to control his voice. “You behave like a woman who’s been abused. You can trust me. Is someone hurting you?”

  “No, you’re wrong.” Her breathing returned to normal and clarity removed the tension around her eyes. “No one is hurting m
e.”

  He didn’t feel like he had it wrong. His instincts told him he’d discovered exactly what had happened to her. “Why did you become so frightened at the sound of glass breaking and then just flinch away from me?”

  She stared at him for a long moment. “I startle easily.”

  Lie.

  Kyler noticed the flush creep over her face. He wondered if she simply didn’t want to talk about it. While he wanted to dig a bit deeper and show her he dealt with abuse cases and would understand, he also thought it wasn’t his right to push her, just yet. He forced a smile to reassure her. “In my job, I take everything in the worst way sometimes. You seemed scared. I must have been mistaken.”

  She laughed shakily. “No. No. It’s okay.” She waved him off with a dismissive hand. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Really.”

  Kyler allowed her the escape, not wanting to ruin the night. That reaction was something he’d look into further. A person didn’t startle in fear and look absolutely terrified over a shattered glass. He wondered if maybe her family had a role in this. Perhaps a shattered glass in her home had been a call for punishment from her grandfather. “Tell me about your grandparents.”

  She seemed relieved by the change in subject and leaned back into her seat, exhaling slowly. “They were my mother’s parents and were really lovely. Pops was a lawyer and worked for years longer than he should have. Nana was sweet, and did a lot of charity work in Savannah.”

  Only warm affection touched her gaze, telling Kyler her grandparents were not the cause of her fear. More and more, he considered the darkness that lived inside her. He only wished Aidan was in Vegas so he could talk to him about it. If anyone had insight into Ella, it was Aidan. He’d normally call or text him, but since Aidan was honeymooning, that seemed inappropriate, at least at this point, anyway.

  Kyler smiled, running his hand along the table, finally reaching her hand. This time she didn’t flinch away, though he noticed the slight tremors rattling her, which told him he wasn’t off in his assumption of abuse. “They sound like wonderful people.”

  She gave a soft grin. “They were.”

  “What of your parents?” he asked, digging deeper.

  “It’s hard to remember them, because I was young when they died.” She took a very long sip of her wine. When she lowered the glass, her hand shook before she tightened it around the wineglass. “But my mother loved scrapbooking, so she did leave me with a lot of pictures. Those stir some great memories.”

  Family is not the problem.

  Kyler pondered this new development. His Dom instincts begged her to let him in. He wanted a deeper look, which could be developed between a Dom and a submissive. Ella didn’t trust Kyler with that dark part in her soul. He knew he had to earn the right to hear her troubles. His cop’s instincts wanted to find whoever had hurt her and damage them in return.

  With the challenge she’d given herself exposed, perhaps Kyler had found a way to get her into Club Sin. He knew what he wanted, and that was Ella under his mastery. There was something special about her—something he couldn’t ignore. No Dom could see that pain and walk away. It was a Dom’s way to see her better and healthy, and see her scars bandaged back up again; that was what a Dom lived for.

  What Kyler lived for.

  The passion between them hadn’t faded. When he’d picked her up at her condominium before their date, the desire had sparked in her gaze. Christ, he’d experienced it, too, becoming rock hard as he drew in her lilac scent.

  She was dressed in a short, black dress with buttons down the chest, and he’d never seen anyone look so beautiful. Her light hair was down, and in soft waves with a thick braid pulling her bangs off to one side. And her expressive eyes, reflecting green tonight, drew his need to possess her.

  Squeezing her fingers, he enjoyed how the trembling eased under his touch. She held his stare, her pupils dilating. Yeah, we’ve got something special here. “I’ll be back in a minute, all right?”

  She gave a genuine smile. “I’ll be waiting.”

  Of course you will.

  He rose and then pushed his chair under the table, never breaking eye contact. While he knew there was pain inside her, she also recovered well, and he respected that. Ella was a strong woman. She’d been through a lot, and though he may not know to what extent, he was definitely going to find out.

  Responsive. Submissive. Emotional. Strong.

  She was the right combination of everything he’d looked for in a woman. He couldn’t pretend any longer to hide how happy he was that she’d come into his life. Sawyer was right; he had no patience. Perhaps he should give Ella more time to get to know him and to discuss all this with Aidan, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to protect her, cherish her, and find out all her secrets.

  Tearing his gaze off Ella, he strode through the busy restaurant, hearing laughter and soft conversations around him. With tension riding his shoulders, he headed toward the hallway where the men’s room was located. There, he reached into his pocket, grabbing out his personal cell phone, and dialed Dmitri.

  Dmitri answered on the second ring.

  “It’s Kyler. How are things?”

  “I’m in the dungeon,” Dmitri replied with an amused voice, “and watching Myles flog the hell out of Kenzie. Why are you not here? And why are you calling me?”

  Kyler wasn’t surprised Dmitri wondered over his absence and his odd telephone call. Since Club Sin opened four years ago, Kyler hadn’t missed a night. While they were close, it wasn’t often they called each other on the telephone, not when they saw each other once during the week for a guys’ night and in the dungeon on the weekends. “I have no clue if I can pull this off, but I wondered if you’d bend the rules slightly for me tonight.”

  “Bend the rules?” Dmitri’s voice tightened.

  Dmitri never changed Club Sin rules. That’s what made the dungeon exclusive. Privacy was of the utmost importance to Dmitri and to the other members. Yet the situation with Ella was different than most. Kyler couldn’t go the typical route—asking her to have a physical to confirm a clean bill of health and sign Club Sin’s membership agreement—without scaring her. She needed to be brought gently into his lifestyle.

  She had to see what the dungeon meant and understand exactly what she’d do there. Kyler stayed quiet as a man walked by him. Then, resuming his conversation, “I’d like to bring someone to the club tonight. At this point, I have no clue if she’ll want to stay.”

  “The vanilla girl?” Laughter lightened Dmitri’s voice. “Aidan’s assistant.”

  “That’d be her.”

  Dmitri paused, and the music from the club sounded through the speakers, as did Kenzie’s screams of pure, unadulterated pleasure. “You’d like to bring Ella by to test her?”

  “I want to slowly introduce the idea to her and allow her the time to understand it all,” Kyler replied.

  “She won’t have the medical tests required to join, so no sex in the dungeon—that rule cannot be broken.”

  “Ah, so I can have sex in your living room, since that’s not exactly the dungeon?” Kyler mused.

  Dmitri chuckled. “I doubt Presley would appreciate you having sex in our living room. However, what she doesn’t see won’t hurt her.”

  Keep it private, the message came through clearly.

  Dmitri continued. “Aidan talked to me about Ella before, back when she first started working for him. He said she has no family or friends in Vegas, so I doubt she’d talk about the club. But stress the importance of privacy.” He hesitated. “Perhaps we should have her sign that privacy clause of the agreement. She works for a lawyer, she’ll take it seriously.”

  Kyler wondered what Aidan had said to Dmitri. He also knew Dmitri wouldn’t tell him. It wasn’t a Dom’s way to speak for others. Aidan was due home next Friday, and Kyler would make it a point to find out a little more about Ella. “Fair enough.”

  Dmitri said, “I’ll let the others know about her and the deal we’ve arr
anged.”

  “Perfect. I owe you one.” Kyler ended the call, placing his phone in his pocket. A warm sensation swept through him. He had good friends, and appreciated them. Dmitri didn’t have to agree to this arrangement, but Kyler was all too pleased he had.

  Now to get Ella to agree.

  As the man exited the washroom, Kyler followed him out of the hallway. He strode toward the table and restrained his laughter when he saw Ella looking to her plate with disgust. Taking his seat, he grinned at the scrunching of her nose. “What? Stomach linings aren’t what you were hoping for?”

  “Oh my God, is that what this is?” She raised her head, frowning. “This looks and smells disgusting.”

  He barked a laugh. “It is that.” He waved to the waiter, who watched Ella with concern. “Can we get the same dish as mine for the lady? Please charge me for both dinners.”

  The waiter grinned, scooping up her bowl. “Not a problem.” He grabbed up Kyler’s plate. “I’ll keep this warm for you while you wait.”

  “Thank you,” Kyler replied.

  When the waiter hurried off, Kyler brushed his fingers lightly over Ella’s arm. With Dmitri’s agreement to bring Ella into Club Sin and Ella’s challenge to herself strong on his mind, his next move had never been so clear. “I have a proposal for you. Let me help you with this challenge you’ve undertaken and give you something that really pushes your boundaries.”

  She tilted her head. “Oh, yeah, how?”

  He lowered his voice, keeping the conversation private. “Have you ever been to a sex club?”

  “God, no.” She laughed. At his silence, the humor faded from her face. “Wait. You’re serious?”

  “Quite serious.” He dragged his fingers slowly over her arm to heat her up some. Ella had shown him through their time together that she liked kink. If she’d been against the idea, he never would have proposed it. But a person open to sexy adventures wouldn’t shy away from such a question.