by Cass Kim
“Do you ever stop talking about yourself?” Renna had waited him out, hoping he’d wrap back around to if he knew what Syd was doing, or if he just thought she was freeing Renna and hoping not to be implicated. But instead he was waxing poetic about his virus. Belatedly, she realized she was not supposed to know that he’d created it. She should be surprised, shocked, maybe.
“You know, I would have thought you would want to know how this virus works, where it came from. But perhaps you are not at all surprised by this. Perhaps our little Sydney has been planning more than your release. Which, by the by, you have entirely wasted, as you won’t be leaving this camp today.” He tapped his chin.
Renna inched further back, now even with the fire starter pile she’d made.
“After you have been secured, I will have to deal with Miss Quick. What do you think will work best? Torture her? Kill her mother? She’s been less helpful than I would have anticipated from a scientist of her renown. Apparently, she had a close relationship with that Wilder girl we used for demonstration. Weeping and angry, turn by turn. Her mental clarity is too muddled for my benefit at this stage.”
Satisfied that he was still completely unaware of Syd’s current whereabouts, Renna tensed to make her move. “Maybe killing people shouldn’t be your first answer when things go wrong.”
“Maybe. But I doubt it. Now, I have a tent to set to rights, and you have a cold metal table to return to.” He gestured and the soldiers started toward her.
No! She’d missed her chance. She should have struck the match and darted out of the tent while he was still monologuing, when the attention of the guards was wandering. But she’d wasted the opportunity making a snide remark.
A howling meow started outside. The guards shifted uncomfortably.
“Sir, we told you there’s a Wilder cat out here.”
“It is utterly impossible for the virus to jump species. It is surely a regular cat, you imbeciles.”
The howling came again, closer.
“Then how come nobody’s seen a cat? It just cries, tears things open in the night, and disappears as if it’s Wilder fast. Sir, I’ve had cats my whole life and they’ve never acted like this one.”
Royce Algin set his jaw and turned toward the men behind him, “Jerry. You are at the end of my patience with this matter. Does it seem to you that I care one iota about your experience with childhood pets?”
Another sharp howl, snarling and angry.
The men turned toward the sound, guns pointing away from Renna.
Not willing to waste another opportunity, Renna kneeled, striking the match on the wooden corner of Royce’s cot, and tossing it into the gasoline-soaked paper before rolling behind the pile.
A wave of heat and the crackle of flames burst to life as the gasoline ignited, eating the oxygen in the room, feasting on the shredded pages. Ignoring the shouts from the front of the tent, she dove out the slit in the back and ran as gunshots echoed.
“Tim Tam! Tim Tam, come on!” she yelled as she ran, patting her thigh as she used to call him to come upstairs back home. At her side a flash of puffy grey darted into the woods at an angle, bounding through the underbrush, trying to keep pace with her Wilder speed.
They were free. The snow was falling in blustery waves, offering cover. She hoped the others had made it out.
33
Alyssa
The snow covered their tracks within moments. Alyssa worried that maybe they were trudging in circles and just didn’t know it. Every tree looked the same to her delirious mind. Once she thought she caught a glimpse of a small group of fast people darting through the woods, but when she looked again, they were gone.
There was a moment, when Emerson hesitated, turned toward what he said was the camp, that Alyssa thought maybe they’d just go in and crawl into the tents, curl up, and sleep. Muffled popping sounds, faint but unusual in the woods, had resulted in an even more determined Emerson setting his jaw and increasing his speed.
Time was no longer something she could keep track of. She wasn’t sure if that had been minutes or hours ago. Putting one foot down and picking the other up was all that mattered.
Until Tim Tam came trotting up to the group. Alyssa thought she had completely lost it and was hallucinating as the grey puff ball pranced over to her and Jeremy. She didn’t even bend down to pet him. He mewed pitifully up at her, like he did when asking for food, before turning to hiss at Shelly and Kina, backing away.
Looking up to see if anybody was seeing the cat, her heart rose when Andre was staring, dark eyebrows heavy over his eyes, at the same spot she saw Tim Tam.
“Tim Tam?” Alyssa called softly. The cat pranced over on tiptoes, back still arched, fur standing on end to look larger.
“Lyss! Emerson!” A shape with Renna’s voice flew out of the woods toward them, tackling Alyssa into the snow.
The shape was breathing hard and stringing words together too fast for Alyssa to process. Weakly she patted it’s back and shimmied out from under it.
Emerson was there, helping a heavily bundled Renna up, pulling her into a tight hug and holding her as if she was a lifeline in this mess.
“Renna?” Jeremy’s voice, hoarse and incredulous, broke Alyssa from her fog.
“What? Wait, what?” The string of words Renna had been rambling as she’d crushed her into the snow started processing. “Did you say guns? And that we need to keep moving?” Panic lit the last dregs of adrenaline.
Renna pulled out of Emerson’s embrace and nodded, eyeing the group. “I think we’re far enough away that we’re safe, but I can’t be sure. The snow is covering tracks, and they’re only human. They can’t chase as fast as they’d need to in this weather.”
“Only human?” Jeremy was staring at Renna, who was not wearing sunglasses in the weak midday light.
“Wait… Jeremy?” Renna stared back at him, looking torn between hugging him and kicking snow in his face.
“He’s been helpful. Hate to say it, a little,” Alyssa said with a grunt, climbing to her feet and unable to suppress a groan.
Renna nodded then straightened her shoulders. “We can all catch up later. We have to get to the meeting spot and make sure everybody else made it out okay. Best to keep moving.” She scanned the group again, taking in the drooping shoulders, Kina’s injured foot, and the general dishevel. Realizing she was in the best shape, she offered, “Let me help carry the cooler. Emerson, we’re going to a tree you and Syd use to communicate, toward town. You know the way?”
“Yes. Ren, my parents… are they okay?” His throat bobbed as he waited for an answer.
“They were the last I knew. They should have gotten out. That was the plan.” She smiled weakly and said, “It was a Syd plan, so I’m putting a lot of faith in it.” Renna reached down and gripped a handle of the cooler, waiting for Emerson to grab the other end. “The sooner we get to the meeting tree, the sooner we’ll know more.”
They trudged on through the white flurries, Alyssa and Jeremy stumbling and tripping on hidden roots, catching each other as they trailed slightly behind the group. Between the cold and the danger that may be sneaking up behind them, relentless forward movement was the only focus. She missed the reassuring presence of Jackson, sweeping back and forth, covering their backs. Alyssa hoped that, whatever the afterlife was like, he was reunited with his wife and daughter, Lorabelle. She wouldn’t forget. As she trudged forward, she repeated the list to herself, footstep by footstep.
Bradley. A step forward.
Edison. Another heavy foot.
Megan. Stumble, correct, keep moving.
Mallory. Each activation of her quad quivered and ached, but she kept moving.
Thomas. Had he looked like Emerson?
Elizabeth. In her last moments of sanity, she’d been a mother to the core.
Lorabelle. To lose a child, how did one keep going?
Jackson. His sacrifice would not be in vain. She surged forward, muscles protesting.
&nb
sp; Yvette. Who had she been, before this?
Alyssa repeated the list, lurching forward relentlessly. She hoped the list would not get any longer before they were done. She hoped she didn’t have to add Benjamin’s name. If she’d had more energy she would have called out to ask about him. She didn’t. It took every ounce of her to keep moving forward. To not stop.
34
Renna
Soo Kim was the only one waiting when they reached the meeting tree. Emerson dropped his end of the cooler as soon as they rounded the bend, and jogged on stiff legs over to her, wrapping his mother in a hug and holding tight.
Renna hadn’t realized, until she’s seen the state of the group, how bad things outside the camp must be. How scared they had been, wandering the woods in a snowstorm, with no safe haven to return to. Syd’s note must have terrified Emerson. Knowing Syd, it was probably straight to the point and a little dramatic about the dangers. She hadn’t had the courage to ask about the missing Wilders from the group.
After Emerson released her, Soo took in the group. Without words, she immediately began setting up the small tents she’d brought as her part of the plan. She found an area fairly hidden by trees and bushes that had dead leaves clinging and grouped the tents side to side. Renna, at a loss for what else she could do, helped. She was frightened of how pale Alyssa was. And Jeremy’s ears were a disturbing shade of purple at the tips. The faster they could get them out of their wet clothes and out of the falling snow, the better. Renna and Soo both stuffed thin camping blankets into their shirts, packing them around their bodies to heat them as they worked. Emerson and Andre set to work creating a fire. Hidden within the circle of tents, it would be small. Less smoke. Less chance of melting the nylon tents. Plus, they had limited dry options for burning. Shelly set to work re-cleaning Kina’s leg, aware enough to keep the blood on the outside of the tent ring.
Once the small shelters were set up, Renna grabbed Alyssa, tugged her boots off, and helped her out of the cold. Inside, the boots were followed by wet socks and wet jeans. Alyssa tried to help, but her numb and tired fingers were clumsy, her body too stiff. Dismayed that even her undergarments were soaked through, Renna worked those off as well, wrapping her friend in one of the blankets she’d warmed.
Ducking back out, wet clothes in hand, Renna conferred with Soo, who had given Jeremy the same treatment in a different tent.
“We have the dry bags from Sydney. I have not yet checked all of the materials, but I am certain there will be something. It doesn’t have to fit perfectly.” Soo floated gracefully through the snow, as calm and smooth as ever. Renna could not imagine her own mother in this situation. She’d be a mess.
Soo returned with a pair of sweatpants and a waffled thermal shirt, handing them over to Renna. “These will work for Alyssa. I am sorry, but there were no extra undergarments.”
Renna shrugged. Who cared about underwear in times like these? “Do you have clothes for Jeremy too?”
Soo nodded and laid a gentle hand on Renna’s cheek. “He is the Jeremy? The one from before?”
Renna flushed. She’d overshared so much with Soo in the long days recovering from the Change.
One delicate finger tapped Renna’s cheekbone before the hand slid away. “I see. Does my son know about him?” Her lightly freckled cheekbones plumped as she squinted her eyes together. “This could become interesting once everybody has recovered. Tread lightly, child.”
Was that a smile on her face as she turned away? Renna shook her head, stuffing the dry clothes into her sweatshirt to keep snow off them as she returned to the small tent. Inside, Alyssa was already sleeping. As she dressed her friend, who barely stirred, Renna wondered what had happened on the supply trip. How long had they been traveling through the snow without rest?
If Emerson was still up, she’d ask him to tell the story while they waited for the others to show. If Syd didn’t arrive by nightfall, they’d make a new plan. Tamping down the worry inside, she told herself that Syd would naturally be later, due to being human. Maybe, she reasoned, maybe Dr. Kim and Benjamin were walking with her. She was leaning over, smoothing the short, dirty hair on Alyssa’s head, wondering when it had been cut, when the pressure against her stomach registered. The fluffy white blanket from the tent! The one she’d wrapped those awful journals in.
With a grunt she pulled the blanket out, and unwrapped the journals, stacking them carefully in the corner. She bundled Alyssa’s zonked form in the blanket, completely wrapping her like a burrito. Maybe there were sleeping bags in the dry bags. Or hadn’t they had some in their bags, for the trip?
It took a while to search through everything, Emerson and the others already crashed out in their own tents, wet clothes stripped and left near the entrances. Eventually Renna and Soo had each and every one of them safely bundled up and tucked into cold-proof bundles. In their searching, they’d found powdered soup and gallons of water tucked in the cooler. There was one remaining large pot tied to a backpack. Together the women gathered items to make a warm nourishing soup. They cut a few frozen chicken breasts into hunks, cooking them in the pot over the fire. It took a long time, with the small flame needing constant attention. It didn’t matter. They had nothing to do but keep watch and wait.
35
Alyssa
Alyssa woke like a wave crashes into the ocean, tumbling elegantly through the motions until the cascade of consciousness swept too high and all the events of the past week came rolling down, smashing her unceremoniously into pain and panic that sent her clawing from the blanket cocoon. Scrambling to shove her feet into the wool socks sitting near the door, she didn’t even register that the socks were dry. Or that her clothes were soft cotton rather than hearty denim and thick polyester.
She shoved her feet into the boots outside, not bothering to lace them before stumbling toward a small campfire, crackling cheerfully in the waning evening light.
It wasn’t until she saw Benjamin, sitting and talking on the end of the cooler she had helped carry for miles, that she stopped her mad flurry of action. Frozen, she blinked, jaw slack. For once, she had no words. Heads swiveled toward her, and Benjamin’s bright eyes turned to meet hers. He offered his easy half-smile before he took in her face, her posture. The smile faded as if she had imagined it, and his eyes turned questioningly to his younger sister, who was standing up from the spot she’d occupied next to him. Next to him. Talking to him. Renna had been talking to Benjamin.
“I’m dreaming,” she muttered to herself, ducking her head down and pinching her arm. “Of course I’m dreaming. I’m in different clothes. I’m not still walking. Oh God, what if I’ve died.” She backed away, pinching harder on her arm, then pounding her fist into the soft underpart of her upper arm. “Wake up Alyssa. Damnit wake up. You can’t live in this dream. It will only be harder when you wake up.” She hit her arm harder, faster, furious with her brain for tricking her like this. “Wake. The. Fuck. Up.”
Then Renna was there, her skinny body wrapping her in a hug, whispering words of reassurance, pinning her arms from hurting herself further. Alyssa dissolved into sobs. Clinging to her friend like a lifeline, she couldn’t stop the huge, mouth open, chest heaving, shuddering breaths that lead to keening wails, and eventually soft, shaking whimpers.
“Shh, Shh, Shhh. You’re okay. We’re all okay.” Renna’s voice was soft as she swayed back and forth, holding her so the others couldn’t see her face where it was buried in her shoulder.
Alyssa gave her one more fierce squeeze before pulling away, wiping her face on the cuffs of the thermal shirt she wore. Voice thick, she whispered, “I hope whoever’s shirt this is doesn’t hate me for the snot I just got everywhere.”
“I think you’re okay. Pretty sure it’s one of Emerson’s shirts. He probably won’t even notice.” Renna whispered back, forehead leaned against Alyssa’s, using her hair to shield them from the staring group.
“How embarrassing was that, on a scale of one to ten?”
&nbs
p; “I think you’re good. It’s been a bad week.”
They heaved deep sighs in unison before Alyssa broke away, swiping at her puffy eyes again. “So, um. What happened to my bra? I can’t go sit with everybody in this shirt with no bra. And… that’s really Jammin’ right? He’s— he’s better now?”
Renna nodded, looking less ecstatic than Alyssa was expecting. “For now he is. I’m scared to get my hopes up too much yet. It’s new.” She started to turn back to the fire before whipping around, “Oh! And I took off your clothes, not anybody else. You were soaked through, and half-frozen. I had to. Let me get your coat from by the fire and you can put that on.”
After zipping the coat up to her chin and popping her warm hat back on, Alyssa joined the rest of the group at the fire. As Soo handed her a steaming mug of hot soup, she settled in to catch up on how everybody had ended up in the same place. Jeremy, she was told, was still sleeping in one of the tents.
Syd explained the take over of the camp, with Dr. Kim butting in regularly to add details about the science. Renna was quiet, gnawing on her bottom lip and gripping Emerson’s hand. Alyssa tried to pay attention to the science stuff, she really did, but her eyes kept drifting to Benjamin, soaking him in. He hadn’t said much, and he was gaunt in a scary kind of way. But when he nodded agreement to things being said, something about his eyes was the same as it had ever been. True, they were reflecting the flicker of the firelight. But the way he scrunched the right eye just a little bit. That was him. That was Jammin. He did the same thing when he was singing an emotional part of a song.