The Recovery Assignment

by Alison Roberts

  ‘But front axle brakes are designed to prevent jackknifing.’ The challenge was half-hearted, however. ‘It’s an old truck. I’ll check its certification and see when it last had a warrant of fitness.’

  The light was fading before they had done more than what seemed a cursory inspection of the scene and recorded as much as they could. Charlotte used a torch as she walked around the wrecks.

  ‘Might have something here, Hawk.’

  ‘What’s that?’ Hawk was still shaking his head at the total devastation of the sedan involved in the crash. It was a miracle there had been survivors. The occupant of the truck might have come through alive if he hadn’t been ejected from the cab as the heavy vehicle had tipped onto its side, but truck drivers weren’t known to take the trouble to wear safety belts.

  ‘He was driving illegally. The road tax certificate is twenty thousand kilometres overdue.’ While diesel was a cheaper fuel to use for commercial vehicles, the equivalent of petrol tax was taken when drivers had to purchase kilometres of road use in advance.

  ‘Maybe he was slack about mechanical fitness as well.’

  ‘I forgot to check when I was looking at the odometer.’ Charlotte shone her torch towards the stickers on the inside of the windscreen above her. ‘And I can’t see from here. I’ll climb up again, shall I?’

  ‘It’s getting too dark to be safe clambering around here. Let’s call it a day and find that motel, shall we?’ Hawk was more than ready to call an end to the long day. ‘We can do all this in the morning and I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.’

  Charlotte’s breath escaped in a sigh as she nodded. ‘Sure.’

  Was it the thought of leaving a job half-finished that was disappointing or was the problem more likely to be the prospect of sharing an evening meal with him in the pub of the small town they were heading for? Well, they didn’t have to eat together if she felt like that. Hawk flicked an offended glance in Charlotte’s direction but she was shining her torch again on that road tax certificate on the lower edge of the truck beside a front tyre. Hawk could feel his expression changing.

  That was it. Finding that type of clue usually made Charlotte light up like a Christmas tree, but there was not even a hint of sparkle there right now. It confirmed his general impression that she was running on automatic. Charlotte’s mind had not really been on the job today.

  Something wasn’t right.

  ‘It’s none of my business,’ Hawk told himself firmly as he had a quick wash in his motel unit a little later.

  So why did it bother him so much?

  Surprisingly, Charlotte hadn’t shown any sign of reluctance when he’d suggested they meet for dinner. Having been pleased at the time, Hawk changed his mind when he saw her emerge from the neighbouring motel unit. Hell, he should have been the one to suggest they make their own arrangements for the evening. He’d never seen her out of uniform before. The faded denim jeans and a soft woollen top wasn’t exactly getting dressed up but it made her seem far more approachable on a personal level somehow. It was the hair that really gave him a kick in the guts, however. He’d never seen it out of that tightly twisted rope. Now it was loose, hanging in a shining, dark curtain that covered her back to her waist, and it had a sort of ripple in it that the plaiting had probably encouraged. And suddenly Hawk knew that he would never be even remotely attracted to blond tresses again.

  It was just as well he was so hungry. Concentrating on dealing with the generous serving of steak and chips he ordered at the pub kept his mind at least partly centred on physical needs he could do something about. The conversation helped, too, as Charlotte seemed determined to keep their communication on a business level and discuss nothing that didn’t relate to the case they were on. It wasn’t until the edges of Hawk’s hunger had been well and truly blunted that he noticed Charlotte’s plate. Her meal of fish and chips was virtually untouched.

  ‘You’re not eating much, Charlie. Nothing wrong with the food, is there?’

  ‘No. It’s great. I’m just not very hungry.’

  ‘Are you sick?’

  ‘No.’

  Hawk ate in silence for another minute. It was his business if something affected his partner, wasn’t it? If Charlotte was going to be moody and difficult to work with, then he had the right to know why, surely? He might even be able to help.

  ‘You’ve been kind of quiet all day.’

  ‘I thought you liked me being quiet. No mind-changing. No fluffing.’

  Hawk smiled even though the reference to what had become a joke between them was as half-hearted as most of Charlotte’s comments that day. She was certainly trying to supply a normal response and encourage him to mind his own business but Hawk had had enough.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked bluntly.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Is it this job?’ Hawk ignored the fact that she had been quiet well before the call had come in. ‘It’s pretty rough when kids are involved. Those five-year-olds were twins.’

  ‘The victims were long gone by the time we got here. I’m probably more used to dealing with that kind of thing than you are, anyway.’

  ‘So you’re not upset?’

  ‘Of course not.’

  But to his horror Hawk saw that he had prised the lid off something she was clearly trying to keep buried. The shine of sudden tears was only glimpsed momentarily but he could see how hard she was blinking now as she stared determinedly at the food still cooling on the plate in front of her. He frowned as his remaining appetite deserted him. He pushed his plate to one side and leaned forward just enough to indicate his willingness to listen.

  ‘Do you want to tell me about it?’

  He must have managed to convey a genuine personal interest. Charlotte’s eyes widened in surprise and then filled again with tears. This time she didn’t manage to control them. One spilled out to roll down the side of her nose and Hawk had to resist the strong impulse to reach out and brush it away. He watched in fascination as it trickled into the corner of her mouth and the tip of Charlotte’s tongue appeared to collect it. The realisation that this woman wasn’t as tough as she made out was a bit of an eye-opener. This was a part of her that Hawk hadn’t been allowed to see. A vulnerable part. Something twisted deep within Hawk. He wasn’t sure what it was but its unfamiliarity made it distinctly uncomfortable.

  ‘It’s…it’s today,’ Charlotte finally admitted with obvious reluctance.

  ‘What about today? This job?’ Hawk tried to step back from his desire to get involved. He didn’t want a repeat of that odd sensation in his gut so he made his tone deliberately light. ‘Hey, it’s not because I was moaning about how long it took you to get ready, is it? You still found what you needed, which was a minor miracle considering the mess your desk was in.’

  Charlotte tried to look offended but failed miserably. She shook her head in the silence that followed and then took a deep breath as though a decision had been made. ‘I meant the date,’ she said slowly. ‘It’s a kind of anniversary.’

  ‘Oh.’ Hawk sat back in his chair again, his heart sinking. He might have guessed. He didn’t want to talk about it but now he had no choice, did he? ‘Something to do with Jamie, is it?’

  She nodded. ‘It would have been our wedding anniversary today…if we’d got married.’

  Hawk said nothing. He watched Charlotte struggle not to let any further tears escape. She blew her nose. She fiddled with her knife and fork.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said eventually. ‘I was determined not to let this happen. It’s ridiculous after all this time.’

  Hawk fought the impulse to agree. It had been years ago. Charlotte needed to stop mourning and start living again. Really living. This was personal ground that he hadn’t felt any inclination to step on. His reaction to having the reminder of Jamie Forrest in their office on a permanent basis was such that he knew Charlotte would be very unlikely to want to discuss the subject with him but, for heaven’s sake, it was no wonder it annoyed him.<
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  Charlotte had way too much going for her to turn herself into a nun. For such an intelligent woman she was making a huge mistake. If he was a friend, he would offer comfort. Allow her to wallow in her sadness and get it out of her system, at least temporarily. But he wasn’t a friend and, anyway, it was the last thing Charlotte needed. What she really needed was someone who could try and make her see sense and move on. And maybe he was just the person to do it.

  What did he have to lose after all? They were nearly halfway through their period of being colleagues. So what if the atmosphere got a little frosty? He wouldn’t have to put up with it for long and it would be worth it if it did something to help Charlotte.

  The impression of genuine warmth had been Charlotte’s undoing. The way Hawk had leaned across the table towards her. The expression of personal concern in his eyes. Not to mention the astonishing thought that he might be about to reach across the table and take hold of her hand or something.

  Whatever it was, it had opened the door that had always been a little ajar on this date. Even now, when Hawk had leaned back in his chair and increased the distance between them, she didn’t feel like strengthening the crumbling barriers she’d kept around this particular subject. She needed to talk to someone and Hawk had the only available set of ears. She would leave it up to him, however. If he really didn’t want that kind of personal communication, she would have to deal with it alone. Charlotte rearranged her cutlery yet again. It was up to Hawk. If the next words he spoke were changing the subject then, as far as she was concerned, the subject would never be raised between them again.

  ‘How long had you known Jamie?’

  The unexpected relief at the invitation to continue talking about him prompted a wistful smile. ‘Only three months.’

  ‘And you were about to get married?’

  ‘Jamie was killed the night before the wedding.’

  Hawk’s head was shaking as though he found it unbelievable, but the look Charlotte was receiving suggested astonishment rather than sympathy. ‘It’s beyond me,’ he muttered cryptically.

  ‘What is?’

  ‘Well, for a start, I’m kind of curious why Jamie would have been out on the town with his mates instead of spending time with you.’

  ‘How did you know he was out with his mates?’

  ‘I’ve heard things. People talk.’

  ‘He had a lot of friends,’ Charlotte said defensively. ‘Some of them had been working on the night of his stag do. He got persuaded to spend some time with them. I didn’t mind.’ Charlotte stared at Hawk. ‘So why the hell should it bother you?’

  ‘I have no idea,’ Hawk admitted. ‘Mind you, it’s also beyond me the way some people rush into marriage like that. It’s no wonder most marriages fail.’

  Charlotte could feel her face tightening. She was accustomed to acknowledgement of her personal tragedy. To have someone take the view that the marriage would never have lasted anyway was an unexpected and downright nasty reaction. How could she have thought she’d detected kindness and compassion in the way Hawk had broached this subject?

  ‘Are you suggesting that my marriage to Jamie would have failed?’

  ‘Not necessarily.’ Hawk seemed to be relishing the fact that he was making her angry instead of giving her a chance to share her grief. How could she have been starting to think she might even like him? The man was a complete bastard.

  ‘Cam’s done the same thing,’ Hawk said. ‘He started talking marriage within days of meeting Cassie. Claimed it was love at first sight.’

  ‘It can happen,’ Charlotte said coldly.

  Hawk’s snort was dismissive. ‘Only on a physical level. Because that’s all you can know about in that space of time. It’s attraction. Lust. The stirring of hormones. I’ve been there myself, believe it or not. I do know what I’m talking about.’

  His glance away from Charlotte was clearly deliberate and she felt a flash of satisfaction. Good. Her appalled glare was having the effect of making him feel uncomfortable.

  ‘Sure, it’s powerful.’ Hawk’s voice had an oddly strangled note to it and he cleared his throat before continuing. ‘And I can understand why some people get carried away, but any intelligent person knows it’s not going to last. It’s not love.’

  ‘And you’re an expert?’ Charlotte asked scathingly. ‘How old are you, Hawk? Thirty-five?’

  ‘Thirty-six.’

  ‘The age that most men have chosen a partner for life, then.’

  ‘No—the age that most people are starting to realise they’ve made a mistake. The attraction has worn off and they’re trapped by responsibilities they can’t escape.’

  It was Charlotte’s turn to snort incredulously. Hawk had the kind of battle light in his eyes that arguing about the relevance of road evidence usually engendered, but Charlotte had no intention of letting him win this argument. ‘You’re so incredibly cynical, Owen Hawkins. Of course the initial attraction changes. That’s when it gets replaced by something deeper. Respect…and friendship…and commitment. The kind of stuff you wouldn’t know anything about because you probably never hang around long enough to find out.’

  ‘You can’t know that’s going to happen. Not until you’ve been with someone long enough. A few weeks, months even—what kind of basis is that to commit yourself for the rest of your life?’

  ‘You’ve obviously never been in love.’

  ‘Actually, I have.’

  Charlotte was taken aback. Who was she? And how had she felt when Hawk had dumped her? ‘But you’ve never been married.’

  ‘I was engaged. It’s a long time ago now.’

  Charlotte gave her head a tiny shake. Just enough to flick some stray locks of hair away from her face. ‘And how long did you wait to decide to get engaged?’

  ‘Two years.’ The gaze holding her own was steady. ‘I don’t commit myself to anything that I’m not absolutely sure I can deliver.’

  ‘So what happened to the delivery?’ Charlotte wasn’t about to offer any sympathy on some romance that hadn’t worked out for Hawk. He didn’t deserve any. The way he had verbally bullied her away from receiving any comfort over Jamie had been remarkably hurtful. She kept her tone uncharacteristically waspish. ‘Did you choose the wrong address?’

  ‘In a manner of speaking. She changed her mind. She “fell in love” with my best mate at the time.’

  ‘Oh.’ So Hawk had been the one to get dumped. It still didn’t mean he deserved any sympathy, though. Did it?

  ‘They got married,’ Hawk continued evenly. ‘Had a couple of kids and then got divorced three years later.’

  ‘Oh.’ It was hardly an intelligent response but Charlotte had caught something she doubted that Hawk wanted her to read from his expression. He had been hurt badly. Heartbroken, maybe. Her tone softened a little. ‘That must have been rough.’

  Hawk shrugged. ‘It was an experience I have no wish to repeat.’

  Charlotte smiled. ‘What is it they say? Experience is something you get when you don’t get what you want.’

  ‘Valuable lessons in life. At least you can use them to define what you really want. Or, in my case, what you don’t want.’

  ‘Like marriage?’

  ‘Precisely. Life’s too short. And if you narrow your options too far, you’re going to miss out.’

  ‘Maybe you miss out if you don’t narrow your options.’

  ‘Meaning?’

  ‘Marriage is the only kind of arrangement I’d want to have kids in. Have you never wanted to have a child? Do you really hate them that much?’

  Hawk shrugged. ‘I got over that a long time ago.’

  ‘At the same time you got over your broken engagement?’

  Hawk’s pupils widened but he looked away before Charlotte could try and analyse his reaction. ‘What about you?’ he asked.

  ‘Yeah,’ Charlotte said softly. ‘I wanted kids.’

  ‘And how old are you, Charlie?’

  ‘Thirty-two.’<
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  ‘It’s not too late, then.’

  ‘But it is.’ Charlotte shut her eyes for a moment. ‘It became too late the moment Jamie died.’

  Speaking his name was almost a surprise and Charlotte realised that she hadn’t even been thinking of him for several minutes now. Ever since Hawk had launched this debate about marriage, in fact. Amazing, considering how difficult it had been for her to think of anything else today.

  The reminder of what had led up to this solitary meal with her partner gave Charlotte an excuse to try and change the subject. She and Hawk were colleagues. They shared the same career. A career that she had chosen to be the focus of her life from now on. She gave a small but decisive shake of her head.

  ‘So you needn’t worry about my biological clock interfering with my career. Any more than yours will.’

  ‘You got over wanting kids?’ Hawk’s tone was sceptical.

  ‘It’s not going to happen.’

  ‘Why, because Jamie isn’t going to be their father?’

  Damn the man. Why couldn’t he drop the subject? He’d succeeded in distracting her, which might be disloyal but not entirely unwelcome. What was he trying to do now? Make sure she got upset all over again?

  ‘Precisely.’ Her glance was intended to hurt Hawk as much as his comment had wounded her. ‘I’ve never met a man who can hold a candle to Jamie Forrest and I don’t expect to. I’m not about to settle for second best.’

  ‘What a waste,’ Hawk murmured.

  Charlotte blinked. ‘I’m flattered that you would consider me such a good prospective mother.’

  ‘It wasn’t parenthood I was considering.’

  And suddenly Hawk’s gaze held something Charlotte had anticipated even less than his odd reaction to her earlier distress. It was the kind of appreciation that she saw in the eyes of many men she met. Was it just because it was so unexpected that her normal reaction was difficult to summon? She should be furious that Hawk had chosen such an inappropriate moment to reveal the fact that he fancied her. Her body was mounting some kind of rebellion, however, and Charlotte couldn’t quell the host of butterflies suddenly let loose in her stomach.