Also by Niobia Bryant
MISTRESS SERIES
Message from a Mistress
Mistress No More
Mistress, Inc.
The Pleasure Trap
Mistress for Hire
FRIENDS & SINS SERIES
Live and Learn
Show and Tell
Never Keeping Secrets
STRONG FAMILY SERIES
Heated
Hot Like Fire
Give Me Fever
The Hot Spot
Red Hot
Strong Heat
Make You Mine
Want, Need, Love
Reckless (with Cydney Rax and Grace Octavia)
Heat Wave (with Donna Hill and Zuri Day)
Published by Kensington Publishing Corp.
Madam May I
NIOBIA BRYANT
KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.
www.kensingtonbooks.com
All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.
Table of Contents
Also by
Title Page
Copyright Page
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Epilogue
Teaser chapter
To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.
DAFINA BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2019 by Niobia Bryant
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
Dafina and the Dafina logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
ISBN: 978-1-4967-1654-5
ISBN-13: 978-1-4967-1655-2 (ebook)
ISBN-10: 1-4967-1655-8 (ebook)
First Kensington Electronic Edition: June 2019
Prologue
1988
“Stay right here. Promise?”
The five-year-old girl looked up at her father with her brown eyes squinting against the sun. “Yes, Daddy,” she said, taking a seat in one of the rocking chairs on the porch as she held her bright red Tickle Me Elmo doll in one arm and stroked the new heart-shaped locket her father had given her just that morning.
Her father patted her shoulder and gave her a smile that wasn’t happy before walking into the house and closing the front door. She swung her feet back and forth as she looked over the edge of the railing at cars riding up and down the street, which was made up of rows of houses with nice front yards with flower beds. Kids rode their bikes or chased each other on the sidewalks. Their laughter and high-pitched squeals of fun were the only noises to break up the quiet.
It wasn’t very different from where she used to live.
She hugged her Elmo close to her chest. It giggled. “That tickles!” the animated voice of the doll said as it vibrated.
“How could you!”
The little girl turned on the seat and looked to the open window at the sound of a woman’s voice raised in anger. She winced at the crash of something made of glass. With eyes wide with fright and curiosity, she hopped down off the chair and walked over to the window to peer inside. Through the sheer curtains, she was just able to see her father holding the wrists of a woman struggling to hit him.
Who is she?
“Zena, stop,” her father implored. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”
Sorry for what?
“I can’t let her go into the system, Zena. Her mother didn’t have any other family. She’s my child,” he said.
“And I’m your wife, Daniel,” she said, her words broken up by her ragged breathing. “You had no right screwing around and then making a baby with your whore.”
Whore? His wife? Daddy has a wife? My mama was a whore?
The little girl winced at the memory of sitting on the front pew of the church next to her daddy as she locked her eyes on the sight of her mother in the casket. Daddy said Mama is in heaven with God.
She released a breath, and her shoulders slumped as she fought not to cry. I miss her. He said if I talk to her she can hear me.
“I miss you, Mama,” she mouthed.
“Zena, I have to do what’s right,” her father said. “I need you to help me do what’s right. Please, Zena. Please.”
The woman—Zena—stopped her fighting, and her body crumbled like her knees had given out beneath her as she began to cry and wail. Her father bent his body and wrapped his arms around her to hold her up from hitting the floor. He pressed a kiss to her face, and she found renewed strength to push both her hands against his chin, knocking his head backward. When he freed her to press his hands to his face, the woman quickly scrambled away from him on her hands and knees.
Why are they fighting?
The little girl’s heart pounded and her arm tightened around her doll. Elmo giggled and vibrated against her chest. “That tickles!”
Both her father and the woman looked at the window.
With a gasp of surprise at being discovered, she dropped the doll and took several steps back before turning and reclaiming her spot on the chair. They had lowered their voices, because she only heard harsh whispers.
I’m so afraid without you, Mama.
The little girl turned her head as the front door opened.
Her father extended his arm and beckoned her with his hand. “Come on,” he said, his voice deep and warm.
She pretended not to see the long, thin scratch in his neck as she walked over to the door and slid her hand in his. The drops of blood from the wound had already stained the collar of his shirt. With one last look at her Elmo lying on the porch beneath the window, she followed her father inside the house.
“Zena, this is my . . . my . . . daughter, Desdemona,” her father said once they reached the living room where his wife awaited them.
The woman’s hair was in disarray and her eyes were rimmed with red from crying as she kept them trained on her husband.
“Say hello to Mrs. Zena, Desi,” her father said, releasing her hand to press his to her back to gently nudge her forward.
She quickly moved to stand behind her father instead, clutching at the crease of his pants with her small fists. “Hello,” she finally said, wondering if it was loud enough for anyone to truly hear.
The woman nodded her head stiffly in greeting.
Her father stepped forward to draw his wife—this woman she did not know—into his embrace. “Thank you, Zena. Thank you so much,” he said, burying his face against her neck.
Desdemona tilted her head back to look up at them. The woman’s body was stiff in his arms, and the look in her eyes was cold and hostile as she peered over his shoulder at her. Desdemona felt a chill race across her shoulders, and more than ever she longed for the presence of her mother.
Chapter One
Thirty years later
Monday, June 11, 2018
The monotony of it all may very well bore me to death . . .
Desdemona Dean tapped her extra-fine-point pen against the pages of her journal as she looked out the floor-to-ceiling window of her apartment in the Tribeca section of New York. “Different day. Same shit,” she said aloud as
she picked up her cup of tea and looked out at the views—to the right the Manhattan skyline and with a shift of her eyes to the left the Hudson River.
Not that it wasn’t beautiful, especially with the sun beaming in the sky and causing the water to gleam. What had started out as extraordinary when she first moved into the eighty-two-story high-rise building two years ago was now the norm. Because the building was part five-star hotel and part luxury residences, the amenities were amazing. She couldn’t deny that. Housekeeping. Ordering meals from a world-class menu. Pool. Spa. Concierge. Valet parking. High luxury with low maintenance.
I ain’t that bored.
She set the cup down on the saucer and looked around at the eleven-foot ceilings of her twenty-two-hundred-square-foot condominium with its cream décor, dark hardwood floors, and floor-to-ceiling windows. It was beautiful.
Still, she was bored.
Desdemona sighed, turning her attention back to her leather-bound journal. She sat at her slate dining room table with her bare feet tucked beneath her in one of the eight suede club chairs surrounding it. She struggled to find more to write for later reflections years down the line when she would finally read the journals she had been keeping for the last two decades of her life.
Written memories.
Her mother had always journaled; she could remember her sipping a glass of wine while curled up in her favorite chair writing away, sometimes smiling but often more reflective and sad. There were many things about her mother that Desdemona had forgotten, but others moments remained like an imprint on her life.
She pressed the pen inside the crease of the journal and closed it before finishing her breakfast of ricotta hotcakes with maple syrup and chicken-and-apple sausage. With one last look out at her views, Desdemona rose from the table and dropped the silk kimono she wore to the floor as she left the dining room, crossed the foyer, and turned the corner leading down the hall to the three bedrooms. Her master suite was in the rear. She walked down the short hall with large black-and-white prints in black frames on the left and two closets to her right—one of them a walk-in—and around the corner.
She paused in front of the large seven-foot mirror leaned against the wall next to the hall entrance to the master bathroom. She stretched her arms high above her head as she took in her head full of blond-streaked chestnut hair that was wild and noticeable as it framed her heart-shaped face. With doe-shaped eyes surrounded by thick lashes and a pouty mouth above her small dimpled chin, Desdemona knew she resembled a less cartoonish version of a Bratz doll or one of the Disney fairies. She was pretty.
That wasn’t ego, but what she’d been told since she was a kid.
Instead, she wished she had been told she was smart and capable—that she had had to learn on her own the hard way. Looks faded. Smarts lasted long after cuteness was gone.
Releasing a breath, she cupped her breasts and jiggled them as she turned her body this way and that to inspect her buttocks and hips. Although her breasts were a full and pert 38B, she imagined them fuller. “Should I double these to double Ds?” she asked herself, shifting her eyes to take in her empty bed and wondering if a man were lying there watching her what his opinion might be.
She frowned.
There was no man and no way she would allow herself to give a damn what he thought if there had been.
Moving away from the mirror, she entered the bathroom, barely noticing the white décor, Carrara marble, bright lighting, and glass shower door that gave the room a light and airy feeling that might have been missed because the spacious room lacked windows. She slipped a satin bonnet over her hair and paused to smell the fresh white daffodils in the large crystal vase between the double basins of the sink before taking a shower.
With a plush white towel with chrome monogrammed letters wrapped around her body, Desdemona walked back to her walk-in closet and emerged ten minutes later in a bright yellow floor-length halter dress that exposed the portrait tattoo of her mother on her right shoulder. The deep vee perfectly framed her breasts, and a low back emphasized her wide hips and buttocks. The matte jersey material flowed around her body with ease, and with nothing but a sheer thong as her undergarment she felt ready for the sweltering summer heat outdoors. Her heels clicked against the hardwood floors as she remembered her journal and retrieved it, quickly returning to her walk-in closet to unlock the safe and slide it inside atop the crisp stacks of cash and other journals stored there.
She lightly stroked the thing she cherished the most: it was not the money. Within those pages were her story. Her trials, tribulations, and triumphs. “To hell and back again,” she said in a whisper before stepping back to close and then lock the safe.
Desdemona selected one of the dozen designer shades atop the island in the center of the closet that contained her lingerie. From the shelves, she took down a black Balenciaga tote and begun transferring her wallet and other personal items from the Louis Vuitton she carried the day before. She was just about to slide her two iPhones into the inside pocket when one vibrated in her hand.
Desdemona flipped it over and smiled. “I’m having a drama-free morning, Patrice,” she said, zipping the tote and sliding it onto the crook of her elbow before cutting off the ceiling light and leaving the closet.
The other woman laughed. “Nothing major. The shipment of gowns from the designer from London—”
“Suzanne Neville,” Desdemona said, almost offhand, as she entered her passcode on the iPad stationed by the front door and used the device to notify the valet she wanted her vehicle. With one last look around her condo, Desdemona slid on her dark round shades as she left her condominium and walked down the sleek and modern-style hallway to the elevators.
“Right,” Patrice agreed. “The shipment arrived—”
“Good,” Desdemona said, stepping on the lift and pressing the button for the private lobby just for the dwellers in the private residences of the building.
“Is there anywhere in particular you want me to display them?”
I could care the fuck less, Patrice.
Desdemona owned a small but very exclusive high-end boutique offering stylish and unique pieces from designers around the world. She catered to the wealthy and powerful who had no qualms about dropping five thousand dollars or better on a dress. And just like with everything else in her life, she was bored with that as well. “Wherever you choose is fine with me,” Desdemona said, as the elevator smoothly descended from the sixtieth floor to the lobby with its abstract black-and-white décor.
It didn’t particularly matter. The boutique was by appointment only, and only Desdemona met with her customers. It was Patrice’s job to collect the shipments and stock the boutique—and that was hardly rocket science.
“But—”
Desdemona stepped outside the beautiful limestone building, and stood beneath the canopy. “Patrice, there are so many moments in life where everyone gets a chance to show and to prove what they are capable of. This is your moment, Patrice. Don’t piss on it by being afraid to make a simple decision,” Desdemona said, raking her crystal-encrusted fingernails through her golden curls just as her metallic black Maserati Levante GranLusso was driven up to the curb.
Desdemona was in her mid-thirties, and Patrice was ten years her senior. If the woman didn’t learn to show initiative and claim her spotlight, she would forever be working for someone else.
“I got it,” the other woman said.
“I know you do. Bye, Patrice,” she said before ending the call as she walked over to the crossover and smiled at the young valet as she handed him a tip before sliding onto the red leather driver’s seat. She set her phone and tote on the passenger seat as the valet gently nudged for it to glide forward before slowing down and closing softly.
Desdemona turned up the volume so that Meek Mill’s “Shine” blasted through the premium sound system. She had an unspoken rule: nothing but hip-hop and trap music in her cars. During her fifteen-mile drive to the Riverdale section of
the Bronx, Desdemona let the thump of the bass give her energy, the lyrics give her hope, and let herself be reminded of growing up in the nineties.
As she entered the affluent neighborhood, she turned down the sound of Cardi B’s “Get Up 10,” not wanting to disturb the peaceful vibe of the neighborhood with the pounding of her bass. She eased the Maserati down the tree-lined streets until she pulled up to a pair of wrought-iron security gates with intricate scrollwork. There were no neighboring homes for half a mile on either side or directly across the street. Mature trees and landscaped bushes around the entire property offered seclusion. She lowered the driver’s-side window and leaned out a bit to enter the security code on the keypad. The gates slid open with ease, and she accelerated forward up the long, brick-paved drive to a more than ten-thousand-square-foot brick neo-Georgian home. To the left of the motor court was a three-car garage of the same design, and to the right there were outdoor parking spots for three more vehicles. Desdemona pulled her Maserati into one of those before climbing from the vehicle and crossing the paved brick to walk onto the colonnaded porch.
Using her keys, she unlocked the front door and entered the two-story entry hall, closing the door behind herself. Stairs leading to the next floor were to her right, but she crossed the polished hardwood floors to her left to pass the small entryway leading to a powder room across from an elevator, which she rode up past the second floor to the penthouse, housing a junior suite and office. She unlocked the door, loving the heavy sound of the deadbolts sliding out of place, before entering.
The summer light beamed through the windows on the rear wall displaying views of the hills of Riverdale as she removed her sunglasses and set them along with her keys and tote on the large wooden desk in the center of the room. It was clear save for a huge vase of white daffodils sitting on the edge. The sunshine hit them, releasing their sweet aroma into the air. She began to hum a melody as she buried her face in the petals before kicking off her heels.
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