by Blake, Nina
All he could do was watch and wait for the glass to shatter.
* * *
The vision of Jake, darkly handsome as he stood in his office doorway, brought a smile to Rachel’s lips.
He cupped his chin in one hand, his expression intense. He looked a bit ruffled this afternoon which was unusual but the slightly tousled hair and gentle frown made him more handsome. The imperfections, if you could call them that, only highlighted his good looks.
Suddenly a bright halo of long blond hair took Rachel’s attention as a voluptuous woman strutted past. She was a striking figure with her blouse gaping as she thrust her chest out. Rachel looked away, embarrassed to find herself staring at another woman’s breasts.
Behind her, Marcus’ voice took her attention and she turned, thinking he was saying goodbye to her. Instead he’d linked arms with the blond woman as he led her away.
Rachel shrugged. She hadn’t come here to see Marcus, after all.
She bounded towards Jake.
* * *
Jake ushered Rachel into his office. Down the hallway, he saw Bianca leave and Marcus slip into his own office.
It was a miracle. Rachel and Bianca had slid past each other as though magnetic forces of repulsion kept them apart. If Rachel had arrived two minutes earlier, he didn’t know what he would have done. Bianca and Rachel in the same room. He shuddered at the thought. That was never meant to be.
His relief was immeasurable but short lived. He had to tell her. Now. He should never have let it get this far.
He closed his office door, something he never did. His door was quite literally always open to his staff. Today he needed privacy.
Rachel tossed her dark hair behind her shoulders, looked around, then turned to face him. “You have a lovely office.”
Floor to ceiling windows looked out onto the harbour. Inside, an enormous abstract painting hung on one wall. The pin-up board showing off Connor’s colourful drawings sat on the other side.
The wall behind Jake’s desk was clear glass and looked out onto the surrounding offices and an open plan work area.
“Oh, I get it,” she said. “This is like the central hub, the heart of the agency. You can look out at what’s happening and you’re in the middle of things so your staff all know you’re here.”
Instinctively, she had understood. He’d been married to Bianca for years and she never got it. Never understood why he didn’t make a statement of his position as owner of the agency and stake out the biggest office. She couldn’t see that he simply didn’t need to.
He reached across and pulled the cedar venetian blinds closed across the window so others couldn’t look in.
Rachel perched her bottom gracefully on the edge of his desk and pushed her shoulders back. “Now why would you think you need some privacy?”
With an almost desperate desire to kiss her came a thick pain in his chest. As much as he wanted to be alone with her, it wasn’t for the reason she believed.
She pointed to one wall. “That painting’s an original, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but so are those.” Jake nodded towards the pin-up board filled with Connor’s artwork. “The interior designer chose the abstract and I chose the drawings.”
“Well, you are full of surprises.”
Another pang shot through Jake’s chest. He didn’t want to give her any more surprises but he had to.
“Before we do anything else,” she said, “I dropped by to pick up the revised concepts. I know I should have called first.”
He placed a large cardboard file upright beside her, then leaned on the desk and slipped a hand on shoulder. “Why don’t you take a seat.”
Without reneging her position, she looked up at him through thick lashes. “Maybe I don’t want to. Maybe I like being this close to you. Or are you afraid? What was it you said to me the other day? Are you afraid I might try to kiss you again?”
“Ah, you’re using my own words against me.”
He longed to play this little game with her, longed to enjoy this exquisite sensual appetiser but he couldn’t. Rachel had come to his office to tell him in her own way that she was ready for him. She was tempting him to kiss her, her arms sprawled provocatively across his desk, her chest proud.
And he ached to have her. To hold her in his arms. She was like no other woman he had known.
It was time.
“I’m glad you came by,” he said. “There’s something I want to tell you. Something you need to know about me. This isn’t the ideal place to talk about this but there’s not much I can do about that.”
He paused, gathering the words in his head. At that moment there was a loud knock on the door and they heard the voice of Emma, his personal assistant, from the other side.
“Jake, it’s me. Can I come in?”
He stepped towards the door and pulled it open.
“Sorry to disturb you like this but we need you right now,” Emma said. “The execs for the hardware campaign are going to withdraw if we don’t do something quick. They’re in the board room.”
His mouth fell open. He couldn’t believe it. “Now?”
Emma glanced apologetically at Rachel, then back at Jake. “I wouldn’t interrupt if it wasn’t urgent.”
“That’s fine.” Rachel reached over for the concepts folder. “I should probably get going.”
“No, it’s not fine,” he said. “How bad is it?”
“Bad,” Emma replied. “It’s make or break time.”
Rachel stepped towards Jake and the door. “It’s okay. I can catch you another time.”
“Tonight,” he said. “I have to see you tonight. There’s something I have to tell you and it can’t wait. I’ll call you. Look, I can at least see you out.”
“No need.” Rachel headed for the door.
Emma bounded down the hallway towards the boardroom with Jake behind her while Rachel ambled down the hallway well behind them, the oversized folder tucked under her arm.
* * *
“Rachel,” Marcus called out as she passed his door. “You can’t go without saying goodbye.”
She smiled as he ushered her into his office. Proud of his achievements, it wasn’t surprising that he had an office with harbour views which he would, of course, wish to show off.
“Look, I’m sorry if you hadn’t met Bianca before,” he said. “I saw she was leaving Jake’s office but I thought she’d be well and truly gone by the time you got there. I hope I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Rachel raised her eyebrows. “Sorry?”
“That was Bianca we passed in the hallway. The blond woman.”
She had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. “You’ve lost me. Bianca?”
“The woman in the hallway. That was Jake’s wife. I’m sorry if that whole thing was a bit uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure what was going on.”
Jake’s wife.
The words sucked the air from her lungs, crushed her chest, drew the life out of her. Her stomach tightened into a knot.
Marcus continued to prattle away but Rachel wasn’t there any more. She had the bizarre sensation that she was hovering above, looking down at the two of them. The harbour view was a hazy, ethereal backdrop in the distance.
Marcus’ voice was a buzz of white noise in the background and she couldn’t make sense of the words. She didn’t want to hear them.
Though still winded, she took deep breaths to revive herself. She’d been floating outside her body but now as she slowly regained her composure, her emotions returned, each one a dagger inside her.
For a moment she wanted to storm into the boardroom and drag Jake out, strike him down, hurt him like he’d hurt her, make him suffer. She wanted to be angry, to have someone to aim her fury at but in truth it wasn’t anger she felt.
Despair and loneliness felt different from that.
There was no one to lash out at. The Jake Austin she thought she knew had disappeared. He had no integrity. He wasn’t the man she thought
he was.
She’d felt this pain before, this same sense of hopelessness, but had structured her life so carefully since then to protect herself from it ever happening again. Her life was so safe, her priorities clear, her emotions secured against this kind of pain. Or they had been until now.
It kept coming back to her.
How could she have let this happen again?
Wasn’t once enough?
Marcus was still prattling on about heaven knows what. She heard him say something about the view.
“Yes, it’s a lovely office, but I’ve got to get going.” She turned to leave, then paused at the door. “I thought Jake was separated.”
He shrugged. “As far as I know, they still live together. Bianca pops in from time to time. Everyone here knows her.”
His words reverberated in her head. They still live together. She wondered in what sense of the word Jake thought he was ‘separated’ if he still lived with his wife. They were very much married if his wife was in the habit of visiting him at work, yet he had the audacity to pursue another relationship.
Where did that leave her? The other woman. A husband stealer. Someone willing to break up a family. And Jake clearly thought she’d have an affair with a married man.
“Bianca,” she said. “Such a pretty name.”
There was once last chance at redemption. Rachel quickly said goodbye. The concepts folder still tucked under her arm, she insisted to Marcus that she’d see herself out.
Everybody here knows her, he’d said. Rachel strode past the front reception desk, then stopped. She wasn’t sure she could do this. There was one last chance and if she spoke to the receptionist this could all be cleared up quickly.
“Excuse me,” Rachel said. “I bumped into Jake’s wife in the hallway but I can’t remember her name.”
“Bianca,” the receptionist said.
“So they’re married?”
The young woman nodded.
It was over.
But not the way Rachel had hoped.
Chapter eight
Rachel threw the concepts folder into the boot of her car and slammed it shut. Her suede bag slipped off her shoulder so she clutched at the strap, walked over to the driver’s side of the car, yanked the door open and slumped onto the seat.
“Damn you,” she muttered.
Pulling the door shut, she stabbed the key into the ignition, only for it to slip through her fingers. She groped the floor of the car searching for the keys, then sat up to insert the key more carefully.
“I can’t believe this.”
Her voice was a whisper. She shook her head, surprised to find she was talking to herself in the empty vehicle.
She crossed her arms in disgust. She’d dealt with bigger problems than Jake Austin and wasn’t going to let him get the better of her. She couldn’t disappoint herself like that.
He didn’t mean anything to her. It wasn’t like losing her husband. Jake was merely a colleague. He wasn’t even a boyfriend. What they had wasn’t a relationship and a couple of stolen kisses didn’t constitute something special. He meant nothing to her.
Nick’s death and all it entailed had left her devastated. He’d left her more alone than she’d ever imagined possible, alienated from her friends who couldn’t understand the depths of her struggle and, to top it all off, in debt.
If she could live through that she could do anything.
Including deal with Jake.
They’d met regularly about the campaign and he always talked about his child but never mentioned a wife. Now she thought about it, it was too blaring an omission. Even if he were divorced he’d surely mention his ex if only to berate her.
He’d been evasive the night they’d gone out for a drink too. Everything fit. He’d hesitated before answering a question about his ex wife. Or was she his ex?
Then he’d given Rachel his mobile number, refusing to give her his home number. The oldest trick in the book. How could she not have picked up on it?
His behaviour in his office minutes ago flashed before her eyes and it occurred to her that perhaps he’d been about to tell her he was married. He’d been forced into it by her close proximity to his wife in the corridor.
Meanwhile she’d been acting like a coquette in his office, teasing him, trying act seductive. She’d completely misinterpreted his signals. What a fool she’d been.
Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed. It wasn’t Jake for whom she was crying. He was just a man. And a married one at that. He wasn’t even the man she thought he was.
No, Jake Austin wasn’t worth shedding tears over. She stretched her arms onto the steering wheel for balance.
That man was a whirlwind, a tempest blowing through her life. He’d swept her into a storm and taken her to spinning heights and she’d known it was dangerous, known all along she could plummet to earth with the slightest slip. He’d given her a glimpse of things that could have been.
It was all coming back to her. The past was being whisked up. She couldn’t believe she’d let this happen to herself a second time.
First Nick.
Now Jake.
Both of them unfaithful.
* * *
Rachel saw her mobile phone vibrate on her desk through the corner of her eye, then heard its familiar ring. Jake’s name flashed on the little screen.
How could he phone her at work as though nothing had happened? What could he possibly have to say?
The man had gall. Far too much of it.
A realisation came to her and with it newfound calmness. Now that she knew his sordid secret, he couldn’t hurt her any more than he already had. There could be no harm in answering the call. He was nothing special to her.
She picked up the phone and heard the voice that had nearly seduced her with its rich, deep tones. “Hi Rachel. I’m sorry about this morning.”
Silence.
“When Emma barged into the office I had to run off quickly,” he said. “And I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to you properly.”
She didn’t think failing to say goodbye even warranted an apology. Not compared to lying to her and using her. What would constitute a proper goodbye? Another passionate kiss where he pretended he cared for her?
She was trapped in a business relationship with him. Agency 66 was managing her campaign. She’d worked on it for two years. It was her baby and she was not going to let him ruin all her hard work. She’d be civil with him for they were colleagues after all. She’d prove she was better than him. And this conversation would be a quick one.
All she wanted to do was get through the day, get home, clear her mind and prepare to start afresh.
“No problem,” she said coolly. “What can I do for you?”
“I didn’t call about business. It’s about tonight. I wanted to speak to you about something this evening.”
“Jake, I don’t have time for anything other than the campaign.”
A pause. “Has something happened?”
The man was infuriating. He knew full well he was married.
“Look,” he said. “There have been a couple more alterations to the concepts so I was going to drop by this afternoon and leave them with you.”
“Sure, you can leave them at reception.”
“Reception? Rachel, I want to see you.”
And it occurred to her that perhaps she should see him one last time. Away from the campaign and their work environment. After all, why should he get off so lightly while she disappeared quietly into the background?
Tonight, she could tell him face to face. Let him know exactly what she thought of him.
“Not at the office,” she said. “Maybe you’re right about tonight. Not at a bar either. I’ll come to your place. I won’t stay long.”
“My place isn’t so good.”
“I didn’t think so.”
Of course no married man would want to meet at his house. That didn’t mean she was going to let him get away with it.
“Can I come to your place instead?” he asked. “That’d be easier for me.”
“That won’t work. You’d have to get a baby sitter for a start. That’s not easy at such short notice.”
“A baby sitter won’t be a problem,” he said. “I’ve been renovating and–”
“I don’t want to hear about it. It’s your place or you can forget it.”
There was a pause at the other end of the phone. She’d let him stew.
Eventually he said, “My place at 7.30. Connor should be in bed by then. I don’t want to disturb his routine.”
She scribbled down the address, looking forward to an early evening drive to Mosman, one of Sydney’s finest suburbs.
He wouldn’t get the better of her.
* * *
Struggling to read the house numbers in the dark, Rachel drove slowly along View Street, Mosman, and pondered how different this was from the street on which she lived. There were no BMWs, Mercedes or Porsches parked on her street. No houses with tennis courts or vast manicured lawns.
She pulled up on the side of the road, got out of her car and took a long look at Jake’s house.
It wasn’t the kind of place she imagined he’d live at all. There was no style about it, no elegance or originality. The huge two storey Tuscan house was built to emulate the terracotta coloured rendered buildings of that part of Italy and looked severely out of place here.
The carefully landscaped grounds clearly required the skills of a professional gardener or perhaps a team of gardeners. A U shaped driveway fronted the building but she hadn’t wanted to park there.
She turned her head to take in the vista Jake had told her he enjoyed from his house. In the moonlight, she could just make out the Sydney Heads, the two thin landmasses through which all ships entered the harbour. She’d seen the view before from a park at the foot of the hill but the outlook from Jake’s house built high on a ridge was far superior.
Hearing footsteps, she turned to see Jake walking towards her from one corner of the house. Even in the dark, back lit by lights at the front of the house, he looked magnificent, his hips slim, his shoulders broad and masculine.
She waited for him to come closer. She had to be resolute. Unyielding.