by Ann Hunter
Hillary pushed aside the pang of guilt beating in her and stared ahead.
Laura moved to her and touched her arm. "Mom? Say something."
"I think you girls need to go." She took Laura by the elbow, and put her arm around Brooke, shepherding them and Alex toward the door. "Don't leave Laura's room until I come for you."
"But Mom—"
"No. I need to sort this out with North. We've got a lot to discuss."
Brooke was more forward. "Didn't you hear her? Alex saved—"
Hillary gave her a stern look. I know.
She shut them from the room and braced against the door. A moment later, her phone alerted her of a text. She crossed to it numbly, checking the two messages that had come in.
Cade: Especially Alex.
And the other when she had not responded….
Cade: Everything ok?
Hillary sank into her chair, rubbing her face. She cupped her mouth as she gazed at the screen.
Hills: We need to talk.
Brooke stood in the hall with the other girls, staring at the door that had been shut in their faces.
"So…" Laura pursed her lips. "That went well."
Brooke and Alex both glared at her.
Laura offered a brave smile. "It could have been worse."
Alex pivoted and stormed off. Brooke charged after her. "You heard what Dr. Showman said. We need to go back to the room."
Alex ignored her.
Brooke reached for her and caught her shoulder. "Alex, have courage."
Alex rounded on her, a fierce glint in her green eyes. "You try having courage in my place. Don't you know what happens to murderers?"
"You're thirteen. What's the worst that could happen?"
Alex's expression darkened. "Don't tell me you're that naive."
"I don't believe you're capable of murdering anyone, Alex. You may have killed someone, but you're no murderer. You just don't fit the profile."
"Whatever judgement waits for me, I'm not sticking around to find out," Alex snapped as she turned again. Brooke caught her wrist. "Let go of me," Alex growled.
The girls backed her down the hall to Laura's room. When they got her inside, Laura braced against the door and let Alex go. Brooke stood by her and watched Alex pace frantically.
Alex yelled. "Some friends you are."
Brooke and Laura looked at one another. Alex continued to yell. She kicked the foot of the bed and sent the office chair in the corner skittering across the room. Brooke moved carefully to the nearest bed and grabbed a pillow from it. She approached Alex, wielding the pillow as a shield.
Alex reeled back and punched it hard. Brooke staggered, but turned around and rammed into her with the pillow. "I get it," Brooke said. "You feel trapped. You wanna hit something?" She slammed into Alex again. "Here!"
Alex grabbed the pillow from her and tackled it onto the bed, beating the stuffing from it. She barreled her face into it and screamed over and over, then rolled on to her side with it. She curled into a little ball and sobbed into the pillow.
Brooke and Laura exchanged glances again and approached carefully after a moment. They both laid a hand on Alex's trembling back.
"We're not leaving you," Laura murmured.
Brooke whispered, "No matter what."
Steven stroked the small, faint star of his Breeders' Cup Distaff champion. The mare breathed quietly, leaning into his touch. Her owner couldn't help but think of the future that lay before them, and all of its possibilities. He already had a stallion in mind for her in the spring.
Joe Hendricks finished loading their equipment into the shipping van back to North Oak. He came up behind Steven with a lead rope in hand. "It doesn't have to end here. We could race her another year. She's still sound."
Steven gazed into the dark, deep eyes of his mare. "It's not the end." He looked over his shoulder to the old trainer. "It's only the beginning."
He stepped out of the way to let Joe take the mare from the stall. "You remember Personal Ensign, Joe?" He stood back and admired Venus Galaxies as she passed by. "Undefeated in thirteen starts, including the Breeders' Cup Distaff. Destroyer of Kentucky Derby winners." He smiled. "A mare you could build dynasties on." He followed behind Joe and the horse. "And Phipps did." His eye fixed on his mare. "I want to do that."
Venus Galaxies's hooves clopped softly against the path to the van that would carry her home. "We could do so much more with this one," Joe grumbled.
"I want to breed her to Black Knight."
"Don't you think you oughtta take that up with your breeding manager before deciding? He'd know best."
Steven followed behind the trainer and paused at the foot of the van's ramp. "How long have you worked for North Oak, Joseph?"
Joe secured the mare inside. "I watched you grow up, son. I worked for your father long before I worked for you."
"Good. You should know your place then."
Joe glared at him as he backed down the ramp. "Your father and I were partners. He listened to good advice."
Steven folded his arms. His head tilted to one side.
Joe brushed his hands off. "I get tired of watching other people's horses; tornadoes on toothpicks. No substance to 'em. Million dollar one-hit wonders. Let me tell you the kind of horse I want to train. I want a horse with legs of steel that can run all day and blow by like a summer wind. Give me the colt that can outstay a mile and a quarter, or a filly with a heart bigger than any other colt on any given day, and I'll give you a champion. We're playing the same game here, you and I. It's called put the lightning in the bottle."
"And that's why I want to breed her to Black Knight. He's got what we're looking for. He won the Grand National Steeplechase. He's got the size, the stamina, and the heart. He'll add substance to any foal we produce. He's not bad looking, and we own him."
Joe tugged his flat cap from his back pocket and placed it on his head. He folded his arms, dug a patch in the dirt with his toe, and spit. "Doesn't have to be pretty."
Steven rolled his eyes and sighed. The pocket of his sports jacket vibrated, and he reached in for his phone. "Hello?"
"We have a problem." The grim nature of said problem was palpable in Hillary's voice.
Steven turned his back to Joe and walked away. "Can it wait til we get home?"
"It's Alex."
Steven's hand tightened on the phone. "Is she alright?"
"Yes and no."
"What do you mean yes and no? She either is or she isn't."
"She's in her room with Brooke and Laura. She's killed someone."
Steven bit his knuckles as stars formed around the corners of his vision. The world went blurry. The sensation of needles pin-fired in his neck and face. She wasn't supposed to find out about this.
"Are you there?" Hillary asked after a long silence.
Steven swallowed. "Yes," he said hoarsely. "I think I blacked out for a minute there. Could you repeat that?"
"The first time was hard enough."
He rubbed his face. "She killed someone?"
"Are you pretending you didn't know, or are you serious? Please don't say you knew about this, because I'm about ready to do some murdering of my own."
Steven was silent.
"You knew?" Hillary blasted.
Steven cringed. "I needed time, alright?"
"Time for what?"
Steven ran his hand through his hair. "I had to be sure."
"About what?"
How do I tell her? Steven's shoulders rose to his ears, bracing for Hillary's reaction. Oh, God. "She's Angie's," he blurted.
Silence.
Steven braced against the track barn, glancing over his shoulder to Joe and the van.
"Did you just say…" Hillary trailed off.
"She's Angie's," Steven repeated.
"What do you mean she's Angie's?"
"Remember when Angie disappeared for a few years when she was seventeen?"
"She told me she was eloping with her boyfr
iend."
"Because she was pregnant. Think about it. What was his name?"
"Alexander. Holy — " she shouted as though she couldn't believe she hadn't connected the two sooner.
Steven nodded, even though Hillary couldn't see him. "Now you're going to ask— "
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was waiting for the right time."
"When was that going to be?"
Steven clenched his teeth. "What did Alex say to you about killing someone?"
"Steven…"
"Did she tell you anything about it?"
"I asked you a question."
"And I asked you one."
Steven recognized the definitive I hate you tone in Hillary's response.
"She said she shot a woman who was about to hurt the other kids."
"That sounds like self defense," Steven said hopefully.
"What should we do?"
Steven ran a hand through his hair. He blew out a breath. "Take her home."
"Shouldn't she turn herself in?"
"I'll alert the authorities, but I need a moment to sort this out. Take her home."
"But—"
Steven hung up before she could finish.
A knock fell on the door of Alex and Laura's room. Alex stared blankly beside Brooke as Laura rose to answer. Alex barely listened.
"Oh, hi Mom," Laura said.
Dr. Showman entered the room with Joe behind her. "Pack your things," said Dr. Showman. "We're going home."
"Brooke, come with me," Joe said quietly.
Brooke's brow furrowed. "I'm staying with Alex, Pop."
Joe remained firm. "I need your help with the horses."
Brooke got to her feet and met her grandfather head on. "She needs me."
"Brooke Lauren Merrsal," he rumbled.
Laura gazed steadily at them, whispering to Brooke, "He said all three of your names."
Brooke didn't take her eyes away from Joe. Dr. Showman pulled Laura and Alex's bags from the hall closet, placed them on the bed, and started packing.
"I made a promise to her, Pop. I can't leave her now."
Joe glanced to Alex and took a step closer to his granddaughter. "You've got no place making promises to people you don't really know."
Brooke turned her head to look at Alex boldly. "I know enough."
Dr. Showman crossed to the desk in the room, grabbing the room keys. Laura finished gathering belongings from the bathroom and stuffed them into the bags, zipping them up. She slung one of the bags over her shoulder, and her mother grabbed the other. They stood before Alex. "Time to go."
Alex looked like she was moving through sludge, like it took a great deal of will just to take a step forward. Joe grabbed Brooke's wrist, pulling her back, as the girl tried to leave with her friends. Her heart tore when Alex refused to look at her.
Five hours later, North Oak's gates opened to Alex, Hillary, and Laura. Alex watched the silent radio clock tick off a minute or two as the car rolled down the lane slowly. When the Showmans's home came into view, so did the black Murray County Police cars and flashing red and blue lights.
Alex inhaled sharply. "I never meant to drag any of you into this. Never wanted— "
Laura reached back from the front seat and grabbed her hand, squeezing it.
Hillary put the car in park, keeping her hands on the steering wheel. Alex noticed the woman's knuckles pale. She watched Hillary take a deep breath and unbuckle her seatbelt. Alex hoped she would look back to her, offer her some sort of encouragement, but she didn't. She said nothing.
Alex sat, staring into space as Hillary and her daughter got out of the car. Laura opened Alex's door. This was it. No escape.
She rubbed her clammy palms against her knees and bit her lip.
As she got out of the car, a policeman stepped forward, cuffs in hand. "Alexandra Paige Anderson, you are under arrest for the murder of Vanessa DeGelder. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."
The cuffs moved toward Alex, and now it was as though they themselves spoke. "You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?"
Alex's eyes moved slowly up to the officer's. His lips were moving, but she wasn't sure if she heard him.
"Do you understand these rights?" he repeated.
Alex's eyes wandered past him, fixing on the weanling barn in the distance. She bolted so fast and hard, she knocked the officer over. If she had any last words, they were meant for no human on earth.
She charged toward Promenade's stall, skittering around the opening of the barn and spooking several weanlings. It was loud, and messy as water buckets were knocked over in stalls, and fuzzy horses bumped into walls.
Alex thrust open Promenade's stall door as quickly as she could. She reached for him, ready to throw her arms around his neck one last time. Desperately wanting nothing more than to hold something she had found precious to her.
But a police officer waiting there grabbed her by the collar and yanked her away.
TRIBUNAL
Hillary dashed upstairs in her home and rifled through the top drawer of her dresser until her fingers brushed the cool edge of a metal frame. She drew it out and stared at a shadow of herself, fourteen years prior.
Her hair was darker then. No crows feet at her eyes. Not even the threat of early wrinkles. Free from care, except from the passion of serving animals and healing them. Twenty-four. I was a year into residency.
She hugged a young woman, cheek to cheek, both of them grinning at the camera. The younger of the two had an impish look to her; her face kissed by freckles beneath wavy tresses of dusky copper. Angie…
She stroked her friend's cheek in the picture. Angelina's seventeen-year-old eyes glittered like emeralds. Those eyes. Alex has your eyes.
She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. If a thousand pounds sat on her shoulders right now, it would still feel better than the guilt she had for allowing the police to take Alex.
How did I not see it before? How could she have mistaken Alex for anyone else but Angelina's girl?
Hillary's grip tightened on the frame, remembering Alex's father. Alex had the same sharp angles to her face as he did, and the striking, dark hair. Alexander's spitting image. Handsome, but devilish.
That's how North knew. He really did see a ghost. Alex looks just like her father, save for those eyes.
She hugged the picture to her chest. Why did you give her up, Ange? How did Alex get lost in the system like that, so close to home?
Hillary squeezed her eyes shut as she hid the picture in the drawer again. I wish you would have stayed. I would have helped you. She braced against the dresser. I don't know how, but I would have found a way.
Alex hugged her knees to her chest in her cell at the Tennessee New Visions Youth Development Facility at Woodland Hills in Nashville. Which was just a puffed up name for kid prison.
Her eyes darted to a girl she'd gotten into a fight with as she passed by Alex's cell. The other girl sneered. The guard accompanying the girl jostled her, making her look forward again. Alex smirked when she saw the black eye she'd given the girl.
Alex had played the game before in another corrections center when she'd been in for petty theft. Not being afraid to defend herself had ensured no one else caused another fight with her. She hoped it would be the same here.
She looked up when another set of footsteps approached. A guard unlocked her cell. "You've got a visitor."
Alex rose to be escorted to a meeting room. She paused in the doorway when she saw Mr. North sitting at a table beside another man in a dark suit. The guard seated Alex across from them, shut the door, and stood watch.
Mr. North was the first to speak. "I came as soon as I could."
Alex folded her arms and leaned back in the chair wordlessly.
Mr. North motioned to the man beside him. "This is my attorney Mr. Michaels."
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The attorney leaned forward, offering his hand to shake, but Alex just glared at him. He sat back down slowly and smoothed over his tie.
Mr. North folded his hands on the cool, steel table they crowded around. He cleared his throat. "Alex, it is within my power to change your circumstances. Mr. Michaels here will help us bring you back to North Oak."
Alex turned her head and pursed her lips as though she had tasted something sour.
"What's wrong?" asked North.
Her eyes drilled into his. "Why doesn't anyone ask what I want? What makes you think I want to go back to your dumb horse farm?"
North fell back in his chair, much the same way Hillary had when she told her of the murder. He was quiet so long that his attorney began stacking and smoothing over the papers in front of him, avoiding eye contact with both parties.
Mr. North glanced at him. "Could you give us a moment?"
Mr. Michaels nodded and rose. The guard let him step into the hall where he promptly pulled a cell phone from his inner suit pocket. When the door shut, North leaned toward Alex. He pulled a file from the pile his attorney had brought.
"Do you know what this is?"
Alex looked anywhere but him.
"You've seen me with it before, the day we met in the hospital." He sighed when she still wouldn't speak to him. "It's yours."
Alex rolled her head back against her shoulder. She glanced at the manila folder.
"Every foster home you've ever been in, you've run away. What are you running from?"
Not from. Alex's heart quickened as she thought of Ashley. To. Ashley was always home. But now there was no Ashley. And no home.
She bit her lip.
Alex kicked the chair out from under her and went to the door where the guard escorted her out. Mr. Michaels caught her elbow in the hall. "We want you to plead not guilty. See you at the arraignment."
Brooke leaned against the paddock fence where North Oak's weanlings were turned out. It was chilly, but the weather was nice enough for the young horses to play.
She clutched her grandfather's timer and studied them racing one another. She clicked the timer on and off, half-heartedly, thinking about Alex and how this would be more entertaining if they could watch it together.