by Toni Aleo
Because she’s your boss, you dumbass.
She’s been on my mind twenty-four seven for the last few days, and I wish I could say it’s getting easier to deal with, but it isn’t. Each day, I swear she gets hotter. I don’t know when I became obsessed with business attire, but seeing her each morning, in tight skirts or fitted dress pants, has done nothing but wreak havoc on my heart. I want to slide my hands up the back of her thighs, grab that ass of hers, and whisper how fucking beautiful I think she is.
It’s mind-blowing how she moves with such poise. Her life is a mess, and I don’t mean that in a shitty way. Honestly, her ex is a douchebag, but she acts as if none of that matters. Only the boys and her work. I am loved by one great mom, but watching Vera with her boys, it knocks me on my ass as envy eats me alive. I want to be on the receiving end of that love, and I know that is insane and pathetic, but it’s true. She is so loving, even when Charlie is being a punk, and it’s beautiful to see.
I still don’t understand how someone would ever leave her.
Moving through the kitchen, getting breakfast ready, I can hear all of them moving upstairs. I have a pan of eggs and some bacon going, per Louis’s request. While it’s only been a week, I have a groove that works for everyone. I come first thing in the morning, getting everything going in the kitchen while Vera and the boys get ready upstairs. When she leaves, the boys and I eat before heading to school. While they’re at school, I do things around here and back at my place, and then I’ll go sit with Lincoln to the second power for a bit until I gotta go get the boys. While I’m not making the money I was, I’m really happy.
I hear heels on the stairs and look up from plating the boys’ food, waiting for Vera to enter the kitchen. Today she is wearing a dress, one that reaches the ground and hugs her waist tight before flowing out. Her hair is down and so damn luscious, framing her beautiful face.
Glancing over at me, she takes my breath away as she says, “Morning.”
“Morning.”
She moves around the island before reaching for a coffee cup. “So remember that Charlie has his therapy right after school. They should be getting all their stuff together to bring with them and put in your car.”
“Yup, I had it written down and was going to remind them.”
“You’re awesome,” she says, and I beam back at her. “I really appreciate you taking him for me. I hate that I can’t take him.”
“Yeah, but you get to come home early tomorrow and it’s my job.”
“This is true,” she says simply as she leans into the counter. “I still hate not going.”
“I know, but I can tell you everything they tell me.”
“Which probably won’t be anything, but I want to know what Charlie says, so can you call me after you drop them off at practice?”
“I can,” I say, meeting her gaze, and then I smile as I drink in how beautiful she looks. “I like that dress.”
Her eyes widen as she looks down at herself. “You do?”
“It looks really good on you.”
“I don’t look frumpy?”
I shake my head. “Not even close.”
Her eyes sparkle as her lips tip. “Well, that’s a very nice thing to say. I didn’t realize compliments were included in your salary.”
My eyes burn into hers. “They’re not.”
Her grin grows as the twins come barreling down the stairs. I tear my gaze from Vera when the boys come into the kitchen and jump up on the stools ready to eat breakfast. “You guys have everything packed? Elliot, you have that science study guide right?”
He nods eagerly as he stuffs his mouth with bacon. “Yeah, and my language.”
“Good. You got everything, Louis?”
“Yup,” he says before shoveling eggs into his mouth. These boys can eat.
“Where is Charlie?”
“He’s coming,” Louis informs me before looking to his mom. “You’re working late tonight?”
“Yes, love,” she says sadly.
Louis makes a face. “Can’t you work late Wednesday so that you can be home to spend time with us before we leave for Dad’s?”
I look back to her and see the guilt floating in her eyes.
“I already work late Wednesdays, but let me see what I can do,” she says before reaching for his hand, squeezing it. I notice they do that a lot. I’m not sure what it means, but it brings such light to their eyes. She moves to Elliot and kisses his forehead. “I’m gonna head out. You guys have a great day.”
“Don’t forget your breakfast,” I say before she can leave the kitchen.
She glances back at me, a grin starting to pull at her lips. “You made me breakfast?”
I hand her the wrap I made, which is in a napkin. “You gotta eat too.”
With a grin that now covers her face, she says, “Well, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” My voice drops a bit as I hold her gaze. “I’ll call you later.”
“Thank you, again,” she says on an exhale before kissing the boys once more and leaving the kitchen. She calls up to Charlie, but he doesn’t call back down, and I watch as her shoulders fall. I think she felt me watching her, for when she looks back at me, she shrugs.
I give her a weak smile and say, “Have a great day.”
But she’s already heading out the door, obviously upset. I hate how much pressure is on her. I want to take it all away. I want to taste her. I want to hold her, and damn it, I want to make her scream.
Gah, she drives me wild, and she doesn’t even realize it.
“I think Dad shouldn’t get us every weekend.”
I look to Louis. “No?”
“No, it’s not fair. Mom doesn’t get to spend any time with us on the weekends.”
“Maybe she can take a day off during the week?” Elliot asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Elliot says, and I can tell he is upset by this. They love their mom. They want to spend time with her, and I don’t blame them. I want to too.
Glancing at the clock, I make a face. Charlie should have been down here by now. Tapping the island, I point to the boys. “Want more before I go and round up your brother?”
“Yes,” Louis says.
I point to the pan. “Get it, then, but don’t burn yourself.”
As he gets up, I head into the living room and stop at the bottom of the stairs. “Hey, Charlie, breakfast is ready.”
He doesn’t answer me at first, but then I hear, “I’m good.”
I make a face. “You need to eat. Come on down.”
“I’m not feeling good.”
Huh. I take the stairs two at a time and then walk down the hall. I still don’t understand how Vera has pictures up of Simon. She’s stronger than I am, but when I asked, she said it is to keep things as normal as she can for the boys.
Good woman right there.
I would have burned the photos.
Reaching his room, I knock on the door before I push it open.
Charlie is on the floor, playing Xbox, still in his PJs. Glancing back at me, he groans. “I don’t want to go to school. I don’t feel good.”
He looks just fine to me. “What’s wrong?”
“My stomach hurts.”
“Probably ’cause you’re hungry.”
“No, I just don’t feel good. I want to stay home.”
“Okay, well, you look fine to me.”
He looks back at me once more. “You don’t know my body.”
I shrug. “I don’t, but I know you’re fine enough to play games.”
His eyes narrow, looking a lot like Vera as he gazes up at me. “I don’t want to go.”
“Fine. You know you still have to go to therapy, and then you won’t go to practice.”
His brows pull together. “You can’t do that. I have to go to practice.”
I shake my head. “If you don’t feel well enough to go to school, you’re not well enough
to go to practice.”
His eyes fill with anger. “That’s bullshit.”
“Whoa, man,” I say, holding my hands up. “Have I used language like that with you?”
He doesn’t answer, just glares.
“Let me answer for you—no, I haven’t. So don’t use it with me. Get dressed, come down, and eat. Make sure you have your stuff so we can go to practice straight from therapy.”
“Whatever.”
Ah, to be a teenager again.
Heading out of the room, I find the twins standing in the hall with their eyes wide. I smile. “You guys good?”
They nod quickly before going into the bathroom to brush their teeth. Shaking my head, I head down the stairs, and just as I reach the bottom one, my phone rings. It’s Vera.
“Hey.”
“Did you tell Charlie he can’t go to practice if he doesn’t go to school?”
“I did,” I say, kicking the bottom of the stairs. I can’t believe that kid told on me. “Is that a problem?”
She pauses. “He says he doesn’t feel well.”
“He’s fine, Vera.” I head into the kitchen. “I don’t think he wants to go to therapy.”
She inhales deeply, and then there’s silence. Suddenly, she says, “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, I trust you.”
“You sure?”
I’m met with laughter that has no humor in it. “No, yes, I don’t know. I’m just nervous. I worry so much that he’ll go back and tell Simon something, but I know that I can’t live like that, that I have to raise him the way I always have. I’ve been feeling so guilty lately.”
I nod, though she can’t see me. “That’s understandable, but Vera, you’re a wonderful mom.”
She scoffs. “My boys want me home, and I can’t even give them that.”
“You are doing your best.”
“It should be better,” she says softly.
I shake my head. “I think you’re doing awesome.”
“You’re just being nice.”
“I’m being honest,” I insist and hope that makes her feel a little better. “I do think that maybe you should see about getting one weekend to be with the boys.”
She exhales loudly. “I’ve already decided I’m going to talk to my lawyer today. I’m just worried that doing that will bring attention on you, and I can’t have that. I need you.”
Ah, if only she needed me in the bedroom.
You are a dirty man, Lincoln Scott! She is being honest with you, and you’re thinking of sex!
I’m pathetic.
“Yeah,” I say softly. “And if they ask Charlie right now, he may hate me.”
She laughs. “I’m sure he doesn’t.”
“Hopefully. I’ll talk to him.” I smile as I scoop up some of the eggs Elliot left behind. “Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Yeah,” she says, and then the line goes dead.
As I clean, I replay our conversation. I want so desperately to fix this for her. Problem is, I can’t. I have no horse in this race, but I want one.
I want her.
Jesus, I am setting myself up for failure left and right.
When I hear someone coming down the stairs, I finish wrapping up some eggs and bacon for Charlie as he enters the kitchen dressed and ready. He glares at me as he sits down, and I hand him his wrap. I don’t say anything as he starts to eat before I pour him some orange juice. When I set it in front of him, I ask, “Wanna tell me what’s going on?” He doesn’t answer, just chews as he looks at his plate. Bending down, I look at his face. His brows are furrowed, and he looks as if he wants to hurt something. Or someone. “You know you gotta go to school, bud.”
He exhales hard as he pulls his beanie down a little over his eyes, ignoring me completely. In other words, he just told me to fuck off. Shrugging my shoulders, I start to clean as the twins move around upstairs. I can hear them running and yelling at each other to grab things. We have to leave in a bit, but we’re not hurting on time. I want Charlie to talk to me, but I know I can’t push him. He’s got to do it on his own time. I just hope he realizes that I’m here for him.
As I wipe down the counter, I hear him moving as he puts his plate and cup in the sink. I look over at him, and say, “Thanks.”
He looks at me, his eyes dark as he shrugs. “No problem. It was good.”
“Good, I’m glad you liked it.” Charlie looks away, and I lean back into the counter, balling up the rag I was holding. “You know you can talk to me.”
He doesn’t look at me as he shrugs. “I just don’t want to go.”
“Why?” When he shrugs again, I notice his shoulders are taut and he looks on edge. “Are kids still messing with you?”
He shakes his head quickly. “No, that stopped.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“Yeah,” he agrees as he toes the hardwood with his sneaker. “My dad texted me, saying he is coming to lunch with me today. I told him I didn’t want him to, but he said he needs to talk to me.”
Well, shit. Clearing my throat, I ask, “Why don’t you want him to?”
“’Cause I know what he wants to talk about.”
“Do you want to tell me what that is?”
He shakes his head. “He wants me to talk to my mom about spring break so that he and Kaia can take us on vacation, but I know Mom would want to go with us. He’s already convinced Elliot and Louis that they want to go, but they won’t say anything, so he wants me to.”
My heart sinks. How dare this fucker put this kid in the middle. “Do you want to go?”
“I do, but I don’t want to hurt my mom. She already doesn’t get to see us as much as she wants.”
I slowly nod. “So tell him that.”
“I have, but he won’t listen to me.” He looks up at me. “I’m being stupid. I hate all this.”
“You’re not, but bud, I think you should talk to your mom.”
He rolls his eyes. “She’s so busy, and I hate to make her worry.”
“Yeah, I get that, but if you talk to her about this, I think she’d be able to make it better. She is pretty awesome.”
Charlie’s lips curve as he nods. “She’s the best.”
I smile back at him as I grasp his shoulder. “Talk to your mom, and tell your dad that you aren’t comfortable talking to him about this. If he wants to have lunch with you, cool, that’s good. You should repair your relationship with him—”
“You sound like my therapist.”
I laugh. “I grew up with six girls. I know how to talk about my feelings.”
He makes a face. “And you survived?”
“Somehow,” I joke, and he grins. “But seriously, bud, you can’t shut down.”
He nods. “I know. It’s just easier.”
“I hear you on that,” I say, squeezing his shoulder. “But I know your mom would love to help you.”
“I know.”
“So talk to her.”
“I will,” he says, nodding his head, and a little light is back in his eyes. “Maybe tonight when she gets home.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
He looks down, inhaling hard. “Thanks, Lincoln.”
I pat his back as the boys start down the stairs, and when he looks up to me, I smile. “I’m always here for you.”
A small smile fills his face as he nods, but I worry he doesn’t believe me. I feel for him. He’s such a good kid who’s in a shitty situation, and as much as I want to help Vera, I want to help him. Elliot and Louis, too. I want to fix it all, but I know I can’t. All I can do is be there for them and try to make some things easier.
But I want so much more.
Shit, I am falling for them.
The one thing I had said I wouldn’t do.
Chapter Twelve
Vera
After my chat with Richard this morning, some of the weight of
the world is off my shoulders. He agreed to let me leave earlier a few days a week so I could see the boys before Simon picks them up, and he refused my offer of working weekends to make up for it. I hadn’t expected it to go so well, which means talking to Simon would be awful. Entering my office, I go right for my desk before sitting down and reaching for my phone. My mind has been going a mile a minute all morning. Between the boys wanting me home and then the trouble with Charlie, I am holding on by a string. I just want everything to be normal for us, but I am finding we don’t have a normal, and I just have to accept that. So instead, I have to fix everything so my boys can be happy. They’re right—I’m not home enough, and I already lost my husband. I can’t lose my boys too.
As I dial Simon’s number, I can’t help but think of Lincoln. It’s nothing new; I do this often, but I am so thankful for him. He is doing everything I wanted, and he’s doing it like the pro I was told he is. I don’t know how or even why I trust him completely. I’m just getting to know him, but sometimes I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. It’s just easy, and he’s smart, funny, and it helps that he’s gorgeous as hell. But that doesn’t matter, because he loves my kids, and he is doing everything I could ever ask. Things I can’t do, and while I’m jealous of that, I’m also thankful.
Riana is right.
Darn it.
More of a reason I can’t ever act on these unreal feelings I have for him. Ever since Saturday, I have been utterly entrapped by him. I find myself thinking of him in that towel or the way our hands touched when we were at dinner. How he held me when he walked me to the car. I want to believe he feels what I feel, but if that were the case, he wouldn’t have turned me down when I asked him inside. He’s confusing as fuck, especially when he complimented my dress this morning.
It’s just all so confusing, but it has to be this way. If I knew he wanted me the way I want him, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.
And that could ruin everything.
Just as the sound of Simon’s voice ruins my morning.
“To what do I owe this call?”
Ugh, he makes my skin crawl. “Hey, I wanted to discuss a few things, and maybe we can talk without arguing.”