by Toni Aleo
He doesn’t agree. “She’s not right for you.”
“I think she’s perfect for me,” I decide, my eyes never leaving his, even though his words hurt.
Because they’re true.
He shakes his head, though, almost violently. “No, Linc, you’re distracted by the sex, by the fantasy in your head of her being all those things. She won’t be, though. She’s done with that part of her life. Now she wants to raise her kids and be happy.”
All this astonishes me. Where does he get off? “How do you know?”
“Because I know her. She’d probably laugh in your face if you asked her if she wanted any more kids or if she has plans on getting married again. She was in a shitty relationship. Why would she want to do all that again?”
“Because it won’t be shitty,” I snap. I don’t mean to get testy, but he’s pissing me off. “I would treat her right.”
“And I don’t doubt that, not even in the slightest, but she will not give you everything you want.”
“I mean, it’s been a day. How do you know—”
“’Cause I see it in your eyes,” he says, his gaze burning into mine. “I fought Riana so hard on that, told her there is no way you’d be feeling Vera so quickly, but it’s all right there. I was wrong, and now I have to tell her that.”
My heart jumps up in my throat as I look down at the driveway. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s everything for someone who wants to be loved and needed.”
I swallow, trying so hard to ignore his words, but it isn’t easy.
“Break this off now, while it’s fresh and new and no one can get hurt.”
I tuck my hands in farther, knowing that won’t happen. “I can’t.”
When I meet his gaze, he looks away, shaking his head. “Come on, Linc. You know this is going to end badly.”
I don’t know that. “Who says it’s gotta end?”
Silence stretches between us until, finally, he groans loudly. “You’ve always been the romantic between us. It’s annoying, especially for a realist who knows this is going to end so fucking bad that I may lose you as a friend.”
That knocks the air out of me. Meeting his angry gaze, I shake my head in shock. “Wow.”
“Reason being, if she gets attached to you and you break it off with her because she won’t have kids with you or marry you, I swear it, man, I’ll be done. For the simple reason, I stood out here, looked you in the eyes, and warned you. I told you not to get involved with her, to keep your dick in your pants. I love you, you know that, but I refuse to watch her go through another heartbreak and have it damage my relationship with my wife.”
I don’t say anything as I look away, but I feel him watching me. When he lets out a long breath, I still can’t look at him. Instead I watch as his feet start to walk away, and when his car door slams, I jump a bit. When he starts the truck, I look up, watching as he pulls out. He doesn’t spare me even the slightest of looks. His brow is furrowed, and his cheeks are red. I want to say that everything he said is completely untrue and I wasn’t the least bit worried, but I would be lying. What if he is right?
I don’t want to lose my best friend, but how in the world am I supposed to ask Vera if she wants the things I want when we’ve been together a whole day?
Plus, are we even together?
I don’t want to know if we are or not, because I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to be told that this is nothing to her but mindless sex. I want to feel that she is falling for me, the way I am falling for her. I want to think we have a future together, because she’s just it for me.
But stupid Phillip just put all this doubt in my head.
Something I didn’t even need or want.
When the door opens, I turn to see her looking at me. “He’s pissed.”
I nod slowly, a smile pulling at my lips, though I don’t feel it. Walking toward her, I shrug. “Yup. Not a happy camper.”
“What did he say?”
“That I should call this off.” I reach for her, pulling her against me as I shut the door behind me. She looks up at me, her eyes wide, and in them, I’m unsure if I’m seeing what I want to see and not the truth.
She moves her hands up my chest. “What did you tell him?”
“I told him no.”
Her brows perk. “You weren’t kidding when you said you’ve wanted this for a while.”
“Nope, I wanted you the moment I saw you, and if we weren’t in a room full of the boys and your sister and Phillip, I would have taken you against the door.”
She’s breathless as she gazes up at me. “While that tickles my loins”—I snort at that, and she smiles widely at me—“I really don’t want to come between you two.”
“You won’t,” I say quickly, nibbling on her jaw. “He’s just mad ’cause Riana told him and I didn’t,” I lie, kissing the spots I nibbled. “It’s not a big deal.”
She pulls back, her hands coming up to cup my jaw. “Are you sure?”
“Definitely.”
A small smile pulls at her lips. “I…” She trails off and bites her lip.
I kiss her nose. “What?”
“I don’t want to end this.”
“You like the sex?”
She laughs out loud, leaning into me as she wraps her arms around my neck. “I mean, it isn’t bad.”
I nip at her lips. “It isn’t.”
“But no, it’s not that.”
“Then what?” I ask, holding her tightly. “My big cock?”
She snorts this time before pressing her nose into mine. “No! Though, again, that’s not a bad bonus.”
It’s me snorting this time as I kiss the side of her mouth. “Then what is it?”
Her eyes lock with mine as she moves her fingers along the back of my neck. “It’s the way you make me feel.” It’s like taking a shot straight to the chest. My lips start to curve just as she beams up at me. “I’ve never felt like this.”
I inhale deeply, kissing her bottom lip. “Me either.”
She chews on her lip for a moment, her eyes never leaving mine. “But, would you be okay if we don’t tell anyone, not yet at least?”
My brows come together. “I wasn’t going to scream it from the rooftop, but I don’t want to act like there is nothing here.”
She threads her fingers through my hair. “It’s just so much change has already happened for the boys. If they find out I’m dating their nanny, I’m worried it will be déjà vu for them, and I don’t want to do that to them. I can’t do that.” Her eyes search mine. “I know it’s not ideal, but can we wait a bit? Maybe when they get back from spring vacation with their dad?”
I should say no. I should do as Phillip told me to.
But I can’t.
Recklessly, I agree, “Okay.”
“Please understand that I don’t do this to hide you or anything like that, but I don’t want to throw you into the mix and then something goes wrong.”
I slowly nod. “It’s smart.”
She eyes me. “You’re upset.”
“No, I’m just annoyed with Phillip and…”
“And you want me?”
My lips quirk. “That’s a given.”
“No, I mean—”
“I know, and yes,” I say simply, pressing my nose to hers. “I want to be with you all the time, and all this means is that we’re gonna have to find time for each other. Alone time,” I add, wagging my brows at her. But she doesn’t laugh. Her eyes are full of worry, and that does nothing but worry me. “But it’s fine. Really. I understand. The boys come first.”
Her eyes soften as she leans her head to mine. “Thank you.”
Closing my eyes, I gather her closer in my arms before capturing her mouth in mine. Even though I feel like we have this somewhat figured out, I can’t shake what Phillip said, and that worries me.
But my anxiety over the future can’t ruin what I’m feeling right now, in her arms with her lips and body pressed against mine.
Pure euphoria.
Chapter Twenty
Vera
“So you’re mad?”
“No, I’m not mad,” Riana says, but I know she is. She’s been very standoffish for the last couple days, and it’s killing me.
“Phillip is mad?”
“Yeah, but don’t worry about it.”
But I am. “Will you tell me why?”
“I don’t see the point. Like I told him, you two are grown adults. Do as you please.”
I chew on my lips as I hold the curling iron to my hair. “Does he not want us together?”
“Vera, let it be. Just have fun.”
I don’t like the sound of her voice; she’s upset, and I hate that I’m the reason for that. Or that we, Lincoln and I, are. She’s pregnant, and she shouldn’t be worried about my affairs. I tried asking Lincoln for more details about what had happened with Phillip, but he was tight-lipped. I just want to know what is pissing off my brother-in-law, because I feel good with what’s happening with Lincoln.
Very good, and I just want everyone else to feel the same.
“So you won’t tell me?”
“I don’t see the point of upsetting you when you’ve had enough of that. It’s stupid, and he’s probably just jealous.”
I think that over for a moment. I know they’re the bestest of friends, but still—didn’t Phillip want me to be happy? “Okay.”
“Okay, I gotta go.”
“Oh. All right.”
“Bye.” She hangs up before I can say more, and my heart aches a little. I want to know what is going on, and it’s driving me crazy. I have a feeling I’ll have to get it out of Phillip. Which I’m sure will be very awkward.
Glancing in the mirror, I realize I took a little longer on my hair than I normally do. I’m not sure why I’m worried about it, but knowing that Lincoln is downstairs, caring for the boys, I want him to find me irresistible after our weekend together. I know, that’s pathetic, but it is what it is. I haven’t had a guy actually like me in a very long time, so I might be craving this a little too much. Which makes me nervous. Am I really into Lincoln? Or is it because he’s giving me the attention I so greatly crave?
Spraying my hair down with hairspray, I look at myself once more before heading out of my bathroom and going to my bed. Sliding my pumps on, I turn and find Lincoln in my doorway. Within seconds, his eyes change from that light gray to the stormy ones that drive me absolutely crazy. Taking in a sharp breath, I send him a little grin. “Hey. I was about to come down.”
He looks down the hall and then back to me. “Can I come in?”
“Where are the boys?”
“Downstairs.”
I give him a warning look. “No funny business.”
He chuckles as he comes in, heading right for me. I hold out my hands, trying to stop him, but his lips still reach mine for a quick kiss. “You look really hot today.”
My chest flutters. “Thank you.”
He kisses me once more, this time on the cheek, before stepping back and hooking his thumb behind him. “Listen, I think you need to talk to Elliot.”
My brows pull together. “Elliot? Do you mean Louis?”
“No, I mean Elliot. He’s been dragging ass all morning, and then when Charlie and Louis ran upstairs to brush their teeth, he came over to me, grabbed my hand, and leaned into me for a moment. He looked really upset but wouldn’t tell me what’s wrong.”
My heart sinks. “Crap. Okay.”
I go to walk by him, but he grabs my hand, stopping me. “He squeezed my hand three times. I see you guys do that a lot. What does that mean?”
I look back at him, my eyes getting a little misty. I knew the boys adored Lincoln, but I never thought they’d love him. How could they not, though? He is amazing. “I love you.” His eyes widen, and I laugh. “No, that’s what it means.”
A small smile plays on his lips. “Well, that has made my day.”
I beam back at him before nodding. “Mine too. Now let me go find him.”
Elliot isn’t upstairs, and when I start down the stairs, Charlie and Louis are moving around the living room. “Boys, where is Elliot?”
“Kitchen,” Charlie calls to me, but before I can finish going down the stairs, he looks back to me. “Hey, Mom, since it’s your weekend, can you take me to the movies on Friday?”
I nod, excited that it is my weekend, even with my worry for Elliot. “Of course. What are we seeing?”
He looks away shyly. “Actually, it’s for a date.”
My jaw drops as Lincoln moves past me, holding his hand up for a high-five that Charlie gives him automatically. “So you did what I said?”
Charlie’s face changes into the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. “Yup, it worked, and she was all about giving me her number.”
Lincoln slaps his hand to Charlie’s. “That’s my boy.”
My heart is currently in my stomach as I stare at my baby. He used to be just little and innocent, but now he wants to date? And Lincoln is cheering him on?
Ah. One thing at a time.
“We will revisit this later,” I say before heading toward the kitchen.
My boy wants to date.
I know what dating entails.
Gah.
Ignoring my crazy thoughts, I head to the kitchen. I find Elliot still at the island, messing with his cereal. He does look sad, and I feel guilty for not noticing when he woke up. He was a little quiet last night, but that’s Elliot. Nothing new. Obviously, I was wrong.
Sliding the chair out, I sit down beside him. He looks over at me and sends me a fake smile. “Hey, Mom.”
I wrap my arm around his shoulders. “Hey, honey. You okay?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, fine.”
“You sure? Lincoln says he thinks something is wrong, and you look as if something is bothering you.”
He looks away, shrugging once more. “It’s nothing.”
“Well, why don’t you tell me, and maybe we can fix it?”
“We can’t fix it,” he says and inhales before looking back at me. “If I tell you, you’ll yell at Dad, and he’ll get mad.”
Shit. I watch Lincoln move around the kitchen to the sink. When I detect movement behind me, I look to see the boys standing in the doorway. Clearing my throat, I say, “Well, how about I promise not to get mad and call Dad?”
His shoulders move again, but he doesn’t glance at me. “Dad hates Lincoln.”
I’m not surprised, but it infuriates me that he would tell the boys that. When I glance to Lincoln at the sink, I notice his back is taut as he violently washes the dishes. “Why do you say that?”
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“He said so.”
“Oh,” I say, wishing like hell Simon would treat me with the same respect I do him. I don’t talk about Kaia in front of the boys, and I sure as hell don’t talk about him to them. It’s what co-parents do. He’s such an asshole.
“He said that you hired Lincoln to replace him,” Louis says then, and I look back at him just as Charlie punches him in the shoulder.
Before I can get on him, Lincoln’s voice booms through the kitchen. “Don’t hit him.”
“Sorry,” Charlie mutters to Louis, but then he looks to me. “But we know this will cause a fight; plus, I’m pretty sure Dad is just jealous.”
“Okay,” I say calmly. “But you all know that’s not true. I hired Lincoln because he is a good fit for us.”
They all nod, and I feel Lincoln watching me.
“We know that,” Elliot says. “But he makes it seem like we can’t have Lincoln and him in our lives.”
Oh, that man makes me stabby. They’re babies! Why put that on them? “Well, again, that’s not true. Lincoln will be here as long as he wants to be and we want him. Dad will never leave; he is your dad,” I stress, moving a piece of hair out of Elliot’s eye. “As for me, I’m yours for forever.”
That gets a grin out of
him. “I know, Mom.”
“Good, so don’t you guys worry. You can love all of us, and it’s okay. I know Kaia means a lot to you guys—”
“Nope,” Charlie mutters.
I glance back to him, glaring. “And that’s fine because she is your stepmom. You can love who you want, as long as you love me the most,” I say, pressing my nose to Elliot’s.
He beams at me, brushing his nose against mine. “Done.”
My heart soars, though it’s aching so bad. I hate the pain this is causing my boys. I just want them to be happy kids. When Louis comes and hugs me tightly, I kiss their heads. “And don’t worry, I won’t tell Dad we talked.”
“Thanks,” Elliot whispers as he slides his hand into mine, squeezing it three times. When his little brown gaze meets mine, I smile before kissing his nose.
“Now, go brush your teeth.”
He nods before hopping off the barstool and taking his bowl to Lincoln. When Lincoln takes it, he stops Elliot, chucking him under his chin with his thumb, a grin on his face. Elliot returns the grin before running off. When Lincoln looks back to me, my heart is in my throat.
Oh, this man will be the death of me.
“Okay, well, I’m late,” I say, getting up and moving my hands down my dress.
“Can I go Friday? I want to tell her,” Charlie says.
“Tell who?” I say, and then I hold my hand up. “Girl. Date. Ugh. Give me a little time to process that.”
“Her name is Crystal.”
I make a face. “Okay, give me a bit.”
“But Mom! Lincoln is so cool about it. Be cool.”
I take him by his jaw. “Lincoln also didn’t go through nineteen hours of labor with you, so he doesn’t know what this is doing to me.” I kiss his nose, but he is giving me a dirty look. “We’ll talk about it tonight.”
“Mom!”
“Charlie, let her think about it.”
We both look back at Lincoln, and I wait for Charlie to pop off, but he doesn’t. Instead he nods. “Sorry, but she’s really great, Mom, and you can come to the movie with the boys and sit seven rows back.”
I scoff. “Seven?”