by Sammie J
A thought comes to me and I look up at him, “Can you find him? You can use the connection there is between us right?” Some emotion I haven’t seen before flickers across Juan’s face but it disappears as fast as it appeared. All I see now is the sadness that radiates off him.
“I’m sorry Peppa, I know he is still alive through the connection but I can’t find him. If we were fully entwined, it would be a different matter, but I will help in trying to track him down.”
I bury my head in his chest and mumble into it, “Where is he Juan? I don’t understand any of this!”
He kisses the top of my head and says, “Me either. Have his parents said anything? Are the police involved?”
I hear Monica enter the room because she huffs at Juan’s comment, “Don’t even get me started on his parents. Juan, they were so rude to her. They asked her to leave the hospital. Lara better keep us updated or she will be answering to me.”
My phone rings and I scramble off Juan’s lap and grab from the coffee table to answer it. “Hello, yes, this is Ms. Thorne, 2 pm tomorrow will be fine. Thank you Detective Payne, I will see you then.” Just as I end the call, my phone rings again and it’s Lara, “Hi, they just rang. Yes, 2 pm tomorrow. Really? Ok, I would like that, thanks Lara. They have CCTV evidence? Ok, yes, let’s hope there is something on there. I will see you tomorrow. Thanks for calling, goodnight.”
I walk back over to Juan and slump back down by his side and his arm instantly extends around me.
Monica is the first to speak up, “I take it that was Lara? She has suddenly changed her tune, why is she being so friendly all of a sudden?”
I shrug my shoulders, “I’m not sure, but after the trouble with Eric, I think she realizes who her friends are and I think this is her way of making it up to me.” Monica tuts and starts looking through the papers that are on the coffee table.
“She said she will meet me at the police station tomorrow. That is who phoned before, the police, they want to question me and for me to make a statement.”
Juan tilts my head up to focus on him, “I want to be there for you, you know that right? I wish it was me who was going with you tomorrow for support.”
I wish it was him too, because I need him, but I accept him for what he is and I know what that entails, “It’s ok, I understand. I know you will be here when you can.” He kisses my forehead and opens his mouth to say something but Monica gets in first, “Shit did you see this?”
She turns the paper around to show me. “It’s a picture of the accident Noah was involved in. They say there was a man in the car with Noah and they want him to come forward to see if he has any information. You can’t see his face or anything else, you can just see two shapes.”
I rush over to sit next to Monica and she hands me the paper to read. It really didn’t say much but I’m glad there was someone there to make sure he was ok and it gave me some comfort.
Juan leans across the table and asks, “Can I have a look please?” I hand the paper over and he sits back.
Monica puts a plate of cheese and crackers on my lap and tells me to eat. I pick at it but I’m not hungry. We all sit there in silence. I guess no one knows what to say. Monica stands and looks down at me, “Do you have something I can borrow to wear to bed until I go home tomorrow and pack some clothes?”
“Yes of course, come with me and I will find you something.” I turn to Juan, “Can you stay?” He says yes. “I’m going to get into bed myself, although I won’t sleep.”
He replies with, “I will be up soon. I’m going to phone Cruz and Saul to let them know what is going on.”
After sorting Monica out, I strip and get into bed, my body is weary but my mind isn’t. I'm worried and I can’t get my head around any of this.
Juan slips in beside me ten minutes later and I turn to face him, “Someone has to know where he is Juan. Noah was in no fit state to make a phone call to anyone. I don’t know what to do. How can I lie here and do nothing?”
Juan closes the distance between us so our bodies touch and I avoid eye contact with him. I feel the spark but I can’t act upon it. “I can’t answer that Peppa because I don’t know what to do either. Maybe the police will have more information tomorrow. I know he is alive, so wherever he is, he is being looked after.”
Juan can’t know that for sure but at least I know he is alive and I will cling on to that thought for now. Nothing more is said between us as I lie in his arms and wait for sleep to take me.
Sometime later I glance at the clock that reads 3 am and Juan starts to untangle himself from me, “I don’t want to go but we have a gig later tonight and I need to get back. I will come and see you after the show to see if there is any news.” He places a kiss to my lips, “Try and get some sleep.”
I don’t answer him. I watch him dress and then he says goodbye and he is gone. I’m left on my own, no Noah, no Juan and I wonder to myself, is this how it’s going to be from now on.
I must have managed to sleep, even if it didn’t feel like it, as I jump out of my skin when I feel my shoulders being shaken and I open my eyes to find Monica staring back at me. “Come on lazy bones it 11:30 am and you need to get ready to go to the police station.”
I blink a few times and say, “Oh crap.” I roll out of bed and head for the bathroom.
Monica shouts after me, “I will make you some toast and a cup of tea.”
I keep my mouth shut because if I didn’t, I would have told her to hold off on the toast and I know she will cause a fuss if I tell her that. When I’m dressed and ready I head for the kitchen. Monica isn’t about so I drink my tea but ignore the toast. “You better eat that toast Peppa, don’t make me mad.”
She once again makes me jump, “Bloody hell Monica, stop creeping up on me. My nerves are all over the place and I can’t eat a thing. I promise I will eat when we get back.”
She just stares at me. I try and distract her by asking if she will come to the police station with me. “Of course I’m coming with you. You’re my best friend, I’m not going to let you go through this alone. Even if Lara will be there, I’m still not sure of her motives. Oh, do you mind if we go to my place first so I can pack some clothes? If we leave now and head straight for the police station stopping at my place on the way.”
I’m still going over what she said about Lara and I hope she’s wrong. I really hope Lara has changed. Monica touches my arm and I glance at her and smile, “Yes, sorry, of course we can go to your place first, if you like.”
At Monica’s house, she packs what she needs and we both coo over her nephew for a little while before it is time to head for the police station. I'm nervous on the ride over, but when Monica parks up the car, the butterflies start to churn away and I feel faint. I take a few deep breaths, get out of the car and walk in praying it isn’t going to take long. I spot Lara straight away as she does her finger wave at me and she comes rushing over and hugs me. I take a good look at her I can see the dark circles under eyes and I’m sure she can see mine. The bruising on her face has turned a yellow greenish colour and I can see the sorrow etched all over it.
I know what she is going to say but I need to ask anyway, “Is there any news?”
She shakes her head, “No, nothing, I am hoping you might find something out today.”
Monica voices her opinion, “Ha, told you Peppa, motives. Did your daddy put you up to this? Did he tell you to keep an eye on Peppa?”
I can see the confusion on Lara’s face but I’m saved from seeing if a sparring match will kick off between the two of them when a deep male voice says, "Ms. Thorne?”
I turn around and say, “Yes, that's me.”
He looks me up and down and holds his hand out for me to shake, which I do, “Ms. Thorne, I’m Detective Payne. Please follow me.”
He holds on to my hand a little bit longer than I like so I pull it away. He turns and walks along a corridor expecting me to follow.
I try and smile at Monica and Lara to give the
impression I’m ok, but I’m not, I’m scared. They both smile back and Monica says, “I will be here waiting, see you soon.” A “me too,” comes from Lara as I turn and follow Detective Payne.
We walk into a room and he asks me to sit. We both pull a chair out from the table in the middle of the room and sit down. He opens the file he has in front of him and lets me know we will be recorded then he presses a button and goes on to say my name, his name and the time and date.
“Ms. Thorne, I can understand you must be very upset with the disappearance of Mr. Noah Blaise. Can you please tell me where you were around 11pm on the night of the 14th?”
“Yes, I was in bed fast asleep. I had been at Noah’s bedside for two days. I was exhausted and needed to get some rest.”
“Do you have anyone who can confirm this?”
Oh bugger this is going to be fun, how am I supposed to explain Juan? Just tell the truth Peppa
“My boyfriend Juan was with me.”
“Oh yes, Mr. Juan Cassidy. Mr. Blaise, Noah’s father, thinks you both have something to do with Noah’s disappearance. He claims you wanted Noah out of the way so you can be with Mr. Cassidy. Is this true?”
My temper flares and I put my elbows on the table and lean forward to make sure I get my point across. “Let’s get one thing straight. If I only wanted to be with Juan, I would have broken it off with Noah. I would not have gone to the extreme of kidnapping him and hiding him away in some private hospital. I love Noah with all my heart. I want to know where he is and I want him back.” I shake my head and sit back in my seat.
“Can I ask how long you have been with Noah?”
“About a month.”
“And you love him? In such a short space of time? What about Juan? Do you love him too?
I sigh, “Yes, I love both my men very much and before you ask, they both know about each other as we are in a three way relationship.” I’m not sure if I have shocked him but he sits there rubbing his chin and didn’t speak for a couple of minutes. “Do Noah and Juan love each other?”
“Of course they do! What are you getting at?”
“I’m thinking maybe Juan wanted Noah out of the way so he can have you for himself.”
I stand up fuming, “No, Juan would never do that, he’s not like that, he loves us both and would never hurt us.”
He writes something down then points at me with his pen and then at the chair, “Please take a seat Ms. Thorne.”
I sit back down and fold my arms against my chest, I'm not happy with his line of inquiry. The door to the room opens and another police officer pushes in a TV on a stand and leaves again.
Detective Payne turns the TV on and turns back to me, “I want you to watch this and to let me know if you recognize anyone.” He presses play and a grainy image appears on the screen. I watch as a small woman in a white nurse’s uniform pushes Noah in a wheelchair along the corridors of the hospital and into a lift. You couldn’t really make out any of her features but my eyes are on Noah and how he is slumped in the chair.
My heart breaks as I watch them leave the hospital and I feel the first tear as it starts to roll down my cheek. You then see her load Noah into the back of a plain white van, which resembles an ambulance, and then it drives away. I lower my head as Detective Payne turns back to me and I bring my hands to my face as I let the tears flow. After seeing Noah on the screen like that, I'm scared for him, he needs to be in a hospital and I'm worried he isn’t getting the medical attention he requires. I hear Detective Payne’s footsteps as he walks around the table and I sense something brush against my hands, “Here take this.”
I peek through my fingers and he is holding a tissue out for me so I take it and say, “Thanks.” He walks back to his chair and sits back down.
“Ms. Thorne, did you recognize anyone in the clip I have just shown you?”
I wipe my eyes and blow my nose and give him my answer, “Noah of course, but I don’t know who the woman is.”
“Do you think Noah could have been seeing another woman?”
I screw up my face in disgust, “What? No, don’t be absurd! What part of we love each other don’t you get?”
He once again writes something down. When he looks back up at me he says, “I have one more question for you. Can you think of anyone who would have taken Noah?”
I shake my head, “No, that’s the part that scares me the most. I have no idea.”
He closes the file and looks me right in the eyes, “Thank you Ms. Thorne. I will be in touch. We will at some point need to come and search Noah’s house but until then you are free to leave.” He reaches over and presses the button to stop recording. I stand and start to leave the room and as I walk past the Detective, he is still sitting at the table, and he says to me, “This is off the record of course, I don’t think Mr. Blaise is going to let this go. He is convinced you have something to do with this case. I’m afraid you might be seeing a lot of me.”
I carry on walking. I don’t even stop to glance at him when the next words leave my mouth, “I have nothing to hide. I will help in any way possible for you to bring Noah back home safe and well.” I open and close the door knowing that’s not going to be the last time I will see Detective Payne.
Both Lara and Monica stand to greet me and I walk into their waiting arms. I cry silently inside not letting my pain show, I don’t want them to worry about me. I step back and stare at Lara, “I’m sorry I didn’t find anything new out, in fact, your father painted me as a slut and all the police wanted to know is about my sex life. Detective Payne even asked me if Noah has another woman.”
I notice Lara step back, I didn’t mean to make her feel bad but I'm still angry. “I’m sorry Peppa, daddy won’t back down on this. He really thinks you have taken Noah away from us.”
“Do you think that Lara?” This comes from Monica who is standing there with her hands on her hips.
A male voice suddenly comes from behind me, “Are you still here ladies? Most people can’t wait to get out of here.”
I spin around to look at Detective Payne and with a false smile I say, “We are just leaving.”
I’m not sure if he meant me to hear him or not but he mutters to himself, “Now, that’s a threesome I wouldn’t mind watching.”
The bloody cheek of the man. I grab Monica’s hand and storm out.
Lara shouts after me, “Peppa! Please wait!” I stop when I get to Monica’s car and spin to face her, “Peppa, I want you to know that I’m on your side. Yes, daddy is trying to get me to be the go between but I refuse. I value your friendship and I know Noah loves you. He would be so mad at the way daddy is treating you.”
Monica gets in the car but not before I hear her say, “Yeah right.”
I reach for Lara’s hand and she lets me hold it, “We have both been through a lot these past weeks. I can see you are trying to be a good friend and I appreciate that. He’s your father and I won’t be the reason to cause problems between you both.” Lara opens her mouth to speak but I put my hand up to stop her. “Please let me finish, we need each other at this time. I need your friendship Lara, I’m dying inside right now. This hurts so much and I know you are feeling the same.”
The tears come then and we both hug each other. Monica beeps her car horn and I quickly say goodbye to Lara. On the way home Monica didn’t speak I know she is trying to protect me and I don’t blame her for the way she is with Lara. What Lara and Eric did was horrible. But she didn’t see Lara lying battered on the floor covered in bruises or the devastation she felt by being told Eric has a child with another woman. So I am willing to give Lara another chance and I have to try and stop the resentment Monica is showing towards Lara. When we get home we both slump onto the sofas and I take this moment to approach the Lara situation with her.
“Monica, you know I love you, and I know you are only thinking of me, but please can you let up on Lara? Yes, she was a bitch to me but I’ve forgiven her. I need her. She is my only contact to finding out an
y news about Noah.”
I watch as her eyebrows meet in the middle and she looks over at me frowning, “I don’t trust her, but because it’s you and you love me so much, I will be polite. That’s all I can offer.”
“Thanks. I’m going to go and take a shower but can you please think about what I’m about to say? Is it Lara you are really mad at or is it her father?”
She didn’t need time as she shouts after me. “Both of them!”
I pretend to watch TV for most of the night as my mind fills with questions no one has the answers to. I think to myself, I should be out there searching for Noah not sitting here watching bloody Casualty. Where do you start when the police have no idea where he is either?
I take myself off to bed to wait for Juan. As I lie there the one question that I’m afraid of the most keeps going around in my head, what if Noah does have another woman?
The bed dips and Juan says, “Hi beautiful.” He tries to kiss me but I move my head to the side and he ends up kissing my cheek. His hand reaches up and he cradles my face and slowly turns it so we make eye contact. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong and why you just rejected me?”
I wanted to turn away from him again but he has a firm hold on me, so I close my eyes and try and calm my rising anger. I'm not mad at Juan. I'm mad at the situation, at the way I was made to feel this afternoon, but as the song goes, you always hurt the one you love.
I open my eyes and with my next words I tried not to let the frustration I feel come through. “I watched the CCTV today of Noah being taken and the Detective implied that Noah has another woman. I don’t want to believe that but what other explanation is there? His parents don’t know what happened to him and neither do we so what else is there?”
I sigh and Juan tries to answer me but I place a finger to his mouth and carry on talking. “The Detective that questioned me today made me feel like there’s something wrong with loving you both. Noah’s gone, are you going to leave me too Juan? Is that how it works? If the three of us can’t be together, none of us will?” Those last words caused my heart to ache. I asked the question but was I ready for the answer.