by Karen Kay
Naively, if she had thought about it at all, she had not considered how a man could be so smooth and slick and…large.
As he positioned himself over her, his face was only a fraction of an inch away from hers, and he must have read her thoughts, for he said, “You do realize that a man grows in size when aroused?”
“I… Of course. I have studied biology, and I know that blood flows there and so…of course…it would… But I suppose I didn’t realize it would be so…big.”
He laughed slightly, then whispered, “Do you mean to compliment me?”
“I… Why yes.”
“Then I thank you. Now hear me, for this is important. You should know—you may already know—that it is not always easy for a woman her first time. The first experience a woman has with love may find her sore after. I will be gentle, but it may not be easy for you, and it may hurt. Know that lovemaking will eventually bring to you a thrill similar to what you just experienced. Do you understand?”
She nodded.
“Are you ready to continue?”
She repeated that nod.
He kissed her. “Kitsikakomimmo.”
“Kitsikakomimmo,” she echoed after him. “Oh, Red Hawk, love me.”
“I mean to, sweet Effie. I mean to.”
Coming onto his knees, he took hold of her legs and brought them over his shoulders. Then, with no more than a soft sigh, he joined his body with hers.
It did hurt.
Up and down her legs, his fingers massaged her. He didn’t move at first, but held back, and she was grateful that he seemed to know exactly what to do.
He waited and waited, kissing her legs, holding her gently in place.
When she could stand the delay no more, she cried out, “Please, Red Hawk, I need all of you.”
He groaned and began to move within her and against her. His eyes were closed, and his body thrust into her again and again, until he crossed what appeared to be a threshold. His action became more intense, his face contorted with effort.
With a groan, he rose and emptied his seed within her. Over and over he pushed against her, as a look of utmost pleasure stole across his face.
Clearly spent, he came up onto his forearms, looking down upon her, and after kissing her heartily, he rested his body against hers. Before he drifted off to a brief bit of slumber, he said, “At last we are together. And I love you more than life itself, my wife.”
Chapter Sixteen
It took a moment for the word to register.
“Wife?” She pushed against him, waking him up. “Don’t you dare go to sleep on me now. You had better explain yourself, Red Hawk.”
Lifting up slightly, he shifted his weight, though he kept a leg and an arm strategically placed over her. Bending at his elbow, he rested his head against his hand and raised sleepy eyes to meet hers.
Somewhat guiltily, she recalled that this man had obtained little sleep these past few days. Still, she needed answers. “What do you mean by calling me your wife?”
“Did we not just commit the act of marriage? You did consent, did you not?”
“Consent?”
“Do you recall that I said we would marry?”
It was true. He had. She said, “But I didn’t respond in the positive.”
“Ho! Did you not? We committed the act of marriage. Does that not speak for itself?”
She frowned. “No, it does not. We have taken no vows, made no pledges.”
“Is the act of love not a pledge?”
Her frown deepened. “Red Hawk, tell me, do men and women of your tribe marry by means of a wedding ceremony?”
“Of course,” he responded, “a ceremony of the heart.”
“No, I mean are your people married by a ceremony run by someone else…a holy man, like a black robe?”
“Ho! I think I understand what concerns you. Do not worry. Although there are sometimes ceremonies to marry a couple, know that in my country, after what has happened between us, a man and a woman are married. For if the man does not marry her, the woman is ruined. I do not wish to ruin you. I would marry you.”
“Thank you for that consideration, but it is not my understanding that the act of love makes us married. Where I come from, a couple are only united in marriage if they take vows to be faithful to each other, and if those vows are said in front of someone like a black robe or a holy man. It is an act made sacred because they pledge themselves to one another in the presence of God.”
“I have heard of your God. The black robe spoke of him often. But do you think that your God was with us this night?”
“Of course I believe that He was.”
“Then you must realize that He knows of our love and our fidelity.”
“I suppose you’re right. But you miss the point I’m trying to make. In my society, even if a person makes love to another, this does not make them married. Only oaths of fidelity said in front of a holy man make a union that will be recognized by others.”
He looked somewhat taken aback. “Do you mean to tell me that you made love with me tonight, without the intention of marrying me?”
“Ah…” Had she? Dear Lord, seen from his viewpoint, it might appear as though she had. “In truth, I would admit to some confusion about that. When you said that we would marry, I didn’t realize you spoke of the act of love as being a deciding factor. I thought I would have more time in which to consider the suggestion.”
He nodded. “Aa. Ikksisitsi’tsi, I understand. But what of your reputation? The others will know that you have been with me. What will they think, if they discover we are not married?”
“They would be more shocked to learn that we are married.”
“They will not think bad things of you?”
“Yes, they might think bad of me…either way. Not that I care what other people think.”
But was that really true? Though she might not be the best of friends with any of her colleagues, was she really careless enough to ignore their opinions? And what about her family? Certainly she did care what her mother and father might have to say.
Still, were she and Red Hawk the only two people in the world, no artifacts to worry about, no project to finish, no one back East expecting her reports, she wouldn’t hesitate to accept his proposal, and to heck with any critics.
But she was no longer a child of eight, weaving fantasies around a man from a completely different culture. She was a responsible adult, and out of that accountability came the knowledge that being in love wasn’t enough. Regardless of the prejudices of others, she, and he too, could not live in a world devoid of other human beings.
Sooner or later, one or the other of their societies would see that they paid the price for their passion.
But Red Hawk was continuing to talk to her, interrupting her thoughts. “I think I understand. You wanted a moment of passion with me, and then you wished to walk away with little consequence.”
“Perhaps. But in reality, in the moment about which you speak, I was not thinking at all, much less considering walking away. Besides, when you proposed to me originally, didn’t you suggest this very thing? To marry, and if it didn’t work out, to be free to walk away?”
“Aa, that I did. However, when I suggested that, I had hoped to have more married life than one night.”
“Yes, well…”
“If this is truly your desire, and you wish to put the marriage behind you, that is your right. Unless you are with child, then you will remain married to me. If that were to happen, we would seek out a black robe, so you would be satisfied in your own mind that we are married. Otherwise…if you wish it, then I am willing to agree that we did not make a marriage this night, even though I think doing so is a mistake.”
Why did he have to make her feel as though her actions were so…cheap? “Perhaps we could reach a compromise
.”
“A compromise?”
“Yes, a compromise means that—”
“I know what it means.”
She drew a deep breath. “There is one other possibility. In my society, two people who are deeply in love, yet are not ready to marry, become engaged.”
“Engaged? This word I do not know.”
“To be engaged means that two people announce their intention to marry and make it known to their family and friends that they expect to marry soon, and that they will remain faithful to one another until such a time as they are ready to take their vows.”
“How long do these engagements last?”
“Sometimes many years. Often several months.”
“And do these two people make love to one another during this time?”
“It has been known to happen.” She smiled.
“And have these engagements ever been known to fall apart?”
“Upon occasion.”
Red Hawk shook his head. “The white man is truly cunning.”
“Cunning?”
“Only a white man could think up a way to have a woman, without the responsibility of having that woman.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“An engagement is irresponsible. Saa, in my mind, because of what we have done this night, we are married, nothing less. I have taken what you offered in the heat of passion. It is not something I did lightly, to have it, and then to discard you so easily, by as simple a method as a change of heart. Saa, for what you have given me, I will give you back my loyalty and my heart. It will not change.”
She was silent. Truly, what could a woman say? Were these not the very words every feminine heart longed to hear?
“Red Hawk,” she said at last, placing her hand on his. “Think for a moment, in what society would we live? Yours? Your people are entrapped in a mist. I don’t think I could go there. Mine? There is prejudice in mine. That way could be hard for you. In either of our cultures, one or the other would be required to give up something.”
“It is true that you cannot come with me into the mist. But I cannot go back there, either,” he argued. “Whether I break the curse or not, I am here, in this time and in this place, until I die. Besides, is this not the way of all marriage? By the act of marrying, hasn’t one already decided to give up what has gone on before?”
She paused and turned her head away from him. “It might be said that old prejudices tear at me, or maybe I am frightened by the unknown. Whether it is right or wrong, I only know that I must complete the project. I cannot allow myself to be distracted…by anything. After this dig is done, we could conceivably evaluate this again, if you wish to wait.”
He nodded, then shrugged. “Perhaps I will. Maybe.”
“Then you agree that we are not yet husband and wife?”
“I agree that you have the right to say no, and you have done so. I also agree that if I ever wish to have you acknowledge me as your husband, I have much work to do.” He smiled at her.
She grinned back.
“Know, however, that to my mind, you are my wife. Although I understand that our cultures are different, I do not believe we could not overcome the prejudices of our separate traditions. Yet, regardless of what I think, unless you wish it, I understand that there is no marriage, except in the depths of this heart.” He pointed to his chest. “And so it is done. You are free.”
He pressed a kiss to her lips, following it with the words, “Kitsikakomimmo. For the moment, nothing changes that.”
Effie didn’t know what to say. On one hand, she was glad. On the other, she was…confused.
He sat up, then looked down on her. “Poohsapoot, let us leave this bad talk behind us and take another swim, this time to awaken us, that we might finish our scouting this night. We still have much to do.”
“All right. You are not angry at me?”
“Saa, disappointed, perhaps, but not angry. You have the right to say yes or no. ’Tis my mistake that I thought you had said yes.”
He held out a hand to help her up, then scooting his arm around her waist, he brought her right up against him. He sighed deeply. “Let us spend the remainder of this night as a married couple. If this is all we are to have, then let us indulge ourselves. Do you agree?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I don’t see any harm in that.”
“And much pleasure.”
She smiled. “All right, then.”
“Soka’pii. I am glad that is settled.”
The scent of fired guns lingered in the air, there in the meadow where they had left Effie’s wagons. Worse, though dawn fast approached, no birds sang here.
Something was wrong.
It was still dark, but the eastern sky was taking on the dull color of silver—a sign that the sun was starting to rise into the early-morning atmosphere. Soon, Red Hawk and Effie would be more than visible to the well-trained eye of the scout, if one were about.
Turning back toward Effie, Red Hawk said, “I must investigate. You stay here. Hear me, you are not to move, no matter what cause is given you, nor are you to cry out, not even in warning. Do you understand?”
“Yes, but what’s wrong?”
“I do not know. I only know that something is. Do not disobey me. Stay here. Hide well.”
She nodded.
Bending toward her, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Know that I love you.”
She laid her hand atop his. “I too.”
He nodded solemnly, pressed her hand in acknowledgment and then set off, crawling through the growth and bushes that occasioned the open spaces of the prairie.
Stealthily, Red Hawk approached the meadow where they had left the wagons. He smelled no smoke there; he heard no voices. And yet, the evidence that something had happened here was unmistakable.
He crept up to the spot where Henry Smith should have been standing lookout.
No one was there.
This was a bad sign. A very bad omen, indeed.
Both wagons were turned onto their sides. Wheels were broken, the white canvas coverings were torn, shovels, trowels, papers, clothes and other equipment were scattered over the ground. But he could see no traces of the people.
Stealing carefully around the camp, he looked in vain for clues of an enemy, a scout, renegade whites, anything. There was none to be found. There should have been something.
Slowly, he stole into their former camp. It was a mess. Papers were everywhere, some blowing haphazardly in the wind, others caught on bushes. Indiscriminately, he picked up one, but since there was nothing to be found there, he studied what tracks and prints were left instead.
He could make no sense of this. Bending down, he fingered a particular imprint on the ground. It was a track made by one of the men. Because of its deep indentation, as well as the fact that the feet were turned out, he recognized the footprint as belonging to the older man, John Owens. Due to the erratic nature of the print, he knew that the man had been frightened. He had also run away.
Looking up, Red Hawk took note of the direction taken, then studied more of the clues left. Here were the tracks of the two women, their two husbands out in front of them, clearly protecting them.
But from what?
There were no foreign prints here, no enemy he could find in evidence.
In vain, he searched the camp more thoroughly for signs of a foe. There was nothing.
Nothing, except for a boulder that was cracked, as well as one impression in the ground where the earth had been torn apart, as though the dirt had been pulled up by a white man’s plow. But that was all. There was nothing more to show the story of what had happened.
Rising, Red Hawk knew it was useless to try to find more clues in the camp. He had best find the others. Perhaps they could make better sense of this.
; Their trail headed toward the water, which was almost a half a mile away. Slowly, carefully, he followed their path through the short prairie grasses.
Soon, arriving at the stream, he saw that none had lingered here, but had set off downstream. Much harder to track, but not completely impossible. Luckily for Red Hawk, one of the women had remained close to the shore, leaving an occasional footprint.
About a half mile downstream was evidence that they had paused. Farther along, they had continued, until at last, off in the distance, Red Hawk saw them. Camped for the moment beneath a large cottonwood, they looked a decidedly disheveled, disgruntled bunch. Quietly, he approached them.
One of the women screamed, and a shot was fired directly at him. It missed.
Haiya! This was discouraging. Not because someone had fired at him, rather because whoever it was had missed. The white men were terrible shots.
He called out, “It is I, Red Hawk. I have come in search of you. I have only returned from scouting. What has happened here? I can make no sense of what I have seen back at your camp.”
“Scouting, huh?” This came from John Owens. “A likely story.”
Red Hawk didn’t respond. It was not in his nature to defend his honesty, one way or the other.
“Maybe you can tell us where our esteemed leader Miss Effie is,” growled John Owens.
“Miss Effie is safe. I left her in a place where she would not be harmed.” Then, because hunger can often cause a person to be antagonistic, Red Hawk asked, “Has anyone eaten their morning meal?”
This elicited more response from them. Even the women spoke up with a hearty “No.”
“Before we talk about the night that has passed, perhaps it would be well to eat. I have some dried meat I will share with you,” said Red Hawk. “It is not as robust a breakfast as to what you may be accustomed, but it will give you enough strength to think clearly. Then we might discuss what happened before returning to camp.”
“I’m not going back there.” This comment came from Madeline.
Red Hawk chose not to respond. Let them gain strength from nourishment first. Then he would question them.