Her stomach rumbled, but she said, “Later. First I need to speak with you.” So many things to tell you… so much to hope for.
“Of course.”
He sat in the straight-backed wooden chair and she wondered if he’d spent the entire night sitting on its hard surface. She suspected he had for it looked as if he hadn’t slept at all.
“How is the child?” she asked anxiously.
“She’s fine, Elizabeth. Her name is Josette. She and Claudine are outside. William is with them.”
“William? Then he’s—”
“Here. Alive. And well.”
“How—”
“I know you have questions, and I shall tell you everything you don’t already know, but first there is something I must say to you.”
Reaching out, he took her hand, pressing her palm between both of his. His expression was so grave, so intense, her insides cramped with apprehension.
“I’ve come to a decision, Elizabeth.”
“Decision?”
He gazed into her eyes, then shook his head. “Bloody hell, I’ve been waiting so long for you to wake up, so I could talk to you, and now that the moment is here, I don’t know the words.”
Her throat constricted. As she well knew, there was no easy way to tell someone that you didn’t want to remain married to them.
Releasing her hands, he leaned down. When he straightened, he held a dented bucket in his hands. “I brought you something,” he said quietly. Reaching into the bucket, he pulled out a large, ripe strawberry.
Confused, she watched him hold the berry by its green stem.
“Do you remember our journey to London, after our wedding?” he asked, his gaze probing hers.
She nodded mutely.
“You told me a story about the origin of strawberries, about a couple who was wonderfully happy, but then they argued. The wife walked away from her husband, not stopping until she saw the red ripe strawberries. When she ate them, her desire for him returned, and she came back to him.” He held the berry to her lips. “I want you to come back to me.”
Her heart slammed against her ribs. Dazed, she bit the fruit, its sweetness surrounding her tongue. When she finished the strawberry, he placed the bucket on the floor.
Taking her hand, he pressed a heated, fervent kiss into her palm. “God, Elizabeth, when I thought you might die, everything inside me died right along with you. I realized at that moment that nothing, nothing else mattered but keeping you with me.
“I cannot let you go,” he said, his warm breath beating against her fingertips. “I cannot allow you to return to America. If you leave, I’ll simply follow you there. I won’t annul our marriage. It doesn’t matter if we don’t have children. If you want, we’ll adopt children. Dozens of them if that’s what you want, but you will not bear another man’s child. And I will not seek comfort in another woman’s arms. If you do not want to share a bed with me, I shall accept your decision. The only thing that matters is that you stay with me. Do you understand?”
She couldn’t have pushed a word past her bone-dry lips if her life depended upon it. She nodded.
“Good. Because there will be no further talk of ending our marriage.” His gaze blazed into hers, heated, intense, and deadly serious. “I love you,” he whispered. “Totally. And I’ll take you on any terms. My heart is yours. Now and always.”
She stared at him, rendered speechless by his words. He loved her. In spite of everything, he still wanted her as his wife. Dear God, what he was willing to give up… a real marriage, children. For her. Because he loved her. Hot tears flooded her eyes. How well she understood that depth of love, that willingness to give up everything for the person who held your heart in their hands.
It was exactly the way she felt about him.
“Austin,” she said, her voice shaking. “You need to know, I never would have had a child with another man. Please, believe me. I desperately didn’t want to end our marriage, but I couldn’t ask you to accept me when I could no longer be a wife to you.”
He stilled. “You lied to me?”
Trepidation skittered down her spine at his tone, but she plunged on. “Yes. I lied. I wanted you to be free to have the sort of marriage you deserved. With a woman who would give you children. Annulling our marriage, having a child with someone else, claiming designs on your title—they were all fabrications. But please understand, I would have said anything—anything—to convince you.”
The muscles in his throat worked convulsively. “Those are almost the identical words William used last night about protecting Claudine.” He drew a deep breath. “You’re saying you said those things to force me to go on with my life. Without you.”
“Yes.”
“You lied to me.”
She nodded. “It’s the only time I ever have, and I swear on my soul, I never will again.”
He appeared almost dazed for several seconds, then a slow smile spread over his face, a devastating smile that stopped her breath.
“You lied to me,” he said again.
“You seem… happy?”
“My darling, under the circumstances, I’m ecstatic.”
Relief, so intense it left her weak, flooded her. “There’s something else I must tell you.”
Her expression clearly mirrored her serious tone because the humor faded from his eyes. “I’m listening,” he said.
“When I thought I was going to die, never see or touch you again, I felt such profound regrets. About you. And our child.” Reaching up, she laid her palm against his stubbled jaw. “No more regrets,” she whispered. “I want us to have a real marriage. I want to have our baby, regardless of what manner of hardships we will have to face together.”
His eyes searched her face. “Elizabeth, are you certain?”
She nodded and swallowed the hard knot gripping her throat. “Life is too short, too precious. There’s a beautiful child in our future, a child I don’t want to deny life to— even if that life is destined to be short. I can be strong because I love you, because you love me.” Drawing a deep breath, she studied his grave expression. “Do you want the same, Austin? Do you want our child? Knowing we’ll lose her? Knowing the pain we’ll have to face?”
He grasped her hand and squeezed it hard. “I always wanted her, even knowing we could lose her. And I swear on my soul that I will do everything in my power to see that we don’t.”
“But if we do?”
“Then I’ll thank God for the time I had her, for the precious days she was ours to love.”
Dear God, she was terrified to tell him the full extent of her vision, of his despair and guilt and self-blame, but she had to know. “Austin, what if something one of us does causes her death?”
He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her hands, his eyes riveted to hers. “We would handle it. Together. Always.” Leaning forward, he brushed his mouth across hers in a tender, bittersweet kiss. “Our love is strong enough to survive anything.”
His quiet vow wrenched her heart and she blinked back the hot tears pooling in her eyes. Clutching his words to her heart, she prayed he wouldn’t regret saying them after she told him the rest of her vision. And she had to tell him. It was only fair that she make him understand the depth of misery she knew awaited him.
“Austin, I saw you grieving. I felt your despair, your hopelessness and guilt. I heard you say, ‘Please, God, don’t tell me I’ve killed her by bringing her here’ and ‘I cannot live without her.’’’
He stared at her with a puzzled frown. “But I said those very words. Yesterday. When I thought you were dying.”
Before she could reply, voices sounded outside the door. Austin rose. “William, Claudine, and Josette have returned,” he said. “They are anxious to meet you.”
He crossed the room and opened the door. The woman whom Elizabeth had last seen bound to a chair walked in, her arm linked with a man who was undeniably Austin’s brother. Elizabeth smiled. Before she could say hello, however, the child
appeared in the doorway.
Elizabeth looked at the little girl with ebony hair and gray eyes.
And her entire world shifted on its axis.
Chapter 28
Only two days had passed since Austin had departed for France, and already Robert knew that he didn’t have a prayer of keeping up with his brother’s correspondence. He sat behind Austin’s massive mahogany desk and groaned at the ever-growing mountain of letters piled in the center. Trying to keep his head above water until Austin and Elizabeth returned from the Continent was going to prove a daunting task.
A knock sounded at the door. Relieved to have something to contemplate other than the correspondence, he called, “Come in.”
Miles entered. “You wished to see me?” “Yes. There’s something I need to discuss with you.” Miles settled himself in the chair opposite him. “I’m listening.”
“This concerns Caroline, and I’ll not mince words with you. My sister is in love with you.” He sat back and regarded Miles through hooded eyes. “I’d like to know what you plan to do about it.”
Miles grew very still. “Caroline told you she, er, cares for me?”
“No, she hasn’t directly said so, but she was unable to deny it when I asked her point blank. Good God, Miles, even a blind man can see she loves you. I think you’d make an admirable husband for my sister, provided, of course, that you hold her in some affection.”
Miles tapped his chin, clearly mulling over his words. “And if I don’t wish to marry at this time?” he finally asked.
“In that case, I’m certain Austin will entertain other offers for her.” He waved his hand over the letters covering the desk. “There’s a note somewhere in this monstrous pile from Charles Blankenship. In it he strongly hints that he’s considering offering for Caroline.” Rising, he laid his hand on Miles’s shoulder. “Think about it, my friend,” he said, then left the room.
The instant he was alone, Miles paced the length of the room, plunging shaking fingers through his hair. Caroline was in love with him! The thought brought his agitated pacing to an abrupt halt. He recalled her melting in his arms, her eager lips seeking his, and his pulse took off at a brisk gallop. A thin film of perspiration broke out on his forehead. Bloody hell!
He wasn’t ready to get married! Married, for God’s sake. A lifelong commitment. Hell no. Not me. Caroline was lovely, but there were many lovely women in the world. But none that makes me feel like she does.
He tried to shake off the bothersome inner murmurings that threatened his sacred bachelorhood, but the voice simply would not cease. Caroline would give me handsome and strong sons, and daughters as beautiful as their mother.
Sons? Daughters? Hang it, he was going mad.
He almost ran to the decanters. Pouring himself a generous amount of brandy, he swallowed the potent liquor in a single gulp. He immediately felt better.
Caroline wasn’t really in love with him, she was merely infatuated. And he was attracted to her only because she was so unlike the other women he knew. Why, the only thing he needed was to leave this blasted house and engage in a good sexual romp. Slamming down his empty glass, he headed toward the door.
Just as he entered the foyer he heard Carters speaking to someone.
“I’m so sorry, Lord Blankenship, but his grace isn’t in at the moment,” Carters intoned in a deep monotone.
Miles skidded to a halt. Blankenship. He must be here to offer for Caroline. And Robert had said that Austin would entertain offers…
“I say, are you quite certain?” Lord Blankenship asked. “I sent a note around several days ago advising him of my arrival this afternoon. Surely he was expecting me.”
“He was called away rather suddenly—”
“I’ll handle this, Carters,” Miles broke in, walking to the door. “His grace gave me a message to deliver to Lord Blankenship.”
Carters bowed and left the two men alone. Miles turned to Lord Blankenship and gave him a frosty smile. “Blankenship.”
“Always a pleasure to see you, Eddington.”
Ten minutes later, Lord Blankenship no longer thought it was a pleasure to see Miles. With his handkerchief pressed to his bleeding nose, Lord Blankenship stalked angrily from the drawing room. He saw Caroline in the foyer and brushed past her without a word. Not waiting for Carters to open the door, he jerked it open himself and slammed it after him.
“Good heavens!” Caroline exclaimed to Miles, her eyes wide. “What on earth is wrong with Charles?”
“Charles?‘You call him Charles?”
“Yes, of course. Is he all right? It appeared as if his nose were bleeding.” She looked out the window and watched Lord Blankenship’s elegant coach pull away.
“His nose was bleeding,” Miles confirmed with a great deal of satisfaction.
“How did that happen?”
“There was a bit of a collision, I’m afraid.” Grabbing Caroline’s arm, he led her down the corridor, all but dragging her along. She had to run to keep up with him.
“What sort of collision? And where are you taking me?”
Miles didn’t answer. He just kept walking with grim determination, not pausing until they reached the privacy of Austin’s study.
“My goodness, Miles!” she puffed when they finally stopped. Her eyes spit blue sparks at him and she jerked her arm from his grasp. “What on earth has come over you? You’re pulling me around and—”
Her indignant words were cut off when his mouth crushed her lips into silence with a kiss.
Caroline wilted against him, her knees turning to water, her anger instantly forgotten as a flood of heat suffused her. She ran her hands up Miles’s broad chest and over his shoulders until her fingers tangled in his hair. She didn’t know why he was kissing her, but as long as he was, she didn’t care about the reason.
“Caroline…” he whispered in an aching voice several minutes later. “Look at me.”
Clinging to his shoulders for support, she dragged her eyelids open and stared at him, utterly dazed. “Why did you kiss me?” she asked in a shaky voice.
“Because I wanted to.”
Her eyes narrowed with sudden suspicion. “You’re acting very strangely. What happened to Charles? You mentioned a collision?”
“Yes. A most unfortunate collision occurred between his face and my fist.”
“You punched Charles?”
He nodded.
“What would possess you to do such a thing?” she asked, completely staggered.
“The bastard is lucky that is all he got,” he said in a voice that resembled a growl. “I should have called him out.”
“Called him out? What on earth did he do?”
“He lied about kissing you. Flat out denied ever having done it, in essence calling you a liar. As if that weren’t bad enough, he then had the gall to interrupt me as I defended your honor and tell me that it was none of my business.”
Caroline swallowed. “Actually, it is none of your business.”
Smoke all but sizzled from him. “The hell it’s not. Not only did he kiss you, then lie about it, but he had the audacity to come here today to offer for you. Yes, I definitely should have called him out. He should know better than to offer for another man’s woman.”
“Charles wanted to offer for me?” she asked in a weak voice. A frown pinched her brows. “What do you mean Charles should know better than to offer for another man’s woman? I’m no one’s woman.”
“You’re my woman. I think you always have been… I was just too blind to see it.” To her astonishment, he lowered himself to one knee and took her hands. “Marry me, Caroline.”
She was robbed of speech. Dear God, he’s foxed.
Or… he was making a cruel jest at her expense. Jerking away from his hands, she turned her back on him. A choked sob escaped her. “How can you possibly joke about something like this?”
He stood and grabbed her shoulders. Turning her around, he gathered her into a tight embrace, burying his fac
e in her hair. “Caroline, darling, this is no jest.” He pushed her chin up with his fingers until her teary gaze met his. “I bloodied Blankenship’s nose because he dared to touch you. The thought of you with him, or any man for that matter, is completely impossible. I simply cannot allow it. I want you too much for myself.”
His solemn eyes regarded her steadily. “I love you, Caroline. I want you to be my wife. Say you’ll marry me.”
She stared up into his handsome, serious face. If he hadn’t been holding on to her, she would have slithered into a boneless heap at his feet. “I’ll marry you,” she said softly.
“Thank God.” He bent his head to kiss her lips, but she pulled back.
“Ummm, Miles?”
He kissed her neck instead. “Yes?”
“Now that you’ve asked for my hand, and I’ve accepted, you won’t change your mind, will you?”
“Never,” he vowed against her neck. He suddenly stilled, then raised his head and looked at her, a frown forming between his brows. “Why do you ask?”
She chewed on her lower lip. “Well…”
“Well what?”
She drew a deep breath, then blurted, “Charles Blankenship never kissed me.”
Miles stared at her for long moment. “He never kissed you?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“You mean you—”
“Made it up. To make you jealous.” She stared up at him, waiting for his reaction. Please, God, don’t make me sorry I told him the truth. I just don’t want a lie between us.
He frowned. “It worked.”
“It did? You were jealous?”
“I wanted to kill the bastard. Now I suppose I shall let him live—provided he never comes near you again.”
“After that bloody nose you gave him, I’m sure he never will.” She rested her palms against his chest. “Are you angry?”
He pulled her against him and cupped her face between his hands. “Angry? Hardly. You’ve accepted my proposal. Now, if you’d cease chattering long enough for me to kiss you, I’d be a very happy man indeed.”
“I won’t say another word.”
Jacquie D'Alessandro Page 29