by Dakota Trace
“I’m not. I simply don’t like to advertise who I am. I can’t believe you actually found out.” Using the arm of the couch for balance, Micah slowly stood.
Jude flashed him a grin from his spot in the recliner with another ice pack on his hip. Even though he’d claimed his leg wasn’t feeling any worse this morning than usual, his Mistress had overruled him. Either he sat with the frozen peas on his hip, or there would be no breakfast for him. “There’s a reason why he was in charge of counter intelligence in our unit, dude.”
“Fuck.” He made his way towards the kitchen where Olivia was preparing a late brunch, ignoring the protests from behind him. It was becoming a common occurrence for him – to ignore what he didn’t want to face. Like after the scene the previous evening. He’d stayed in his room clacking on his laptop, figuring it might make brownie points with his boss when he finally returned to work, rather than face what had happened. But instead of being productive as he hoped, he’d ended up mindlessly playing solitaire. Fat lot of good it did – I spent my time trying to ignore Mistress’s erotic screams through the thin wall rather than playing the game. God whatever the fuck Jude was doing, he was definitely pleasing her.
Slipping into one of the chairs surrounding the table, he watched as she hummed to herself while she stirred something on the stove. The kitchen was a fragrant blend of baking bread and sizzling meat. He wasn’t sure what she was fixing, but whatever it was - it smelled delicious.
“Are you ready to talk yet, Micah?” She asked the question without even turning. He idly wondered how she knew it was him. “Evidently not.” Glancing over her shoulder, she gave him a small smile. “You realize ignoring the tension between us isn’t going to work, right? Eventually we’re going to have it out.”
Sighing, he stroked a finger over the cloth placemat in front of him. The cheery kitchen suddenly seemed smaller as she moved gracefully from the stove to the sink. “I’m tired, Olivia. Tired of hurting, tired of trying to figure out what went wrong – why I am so worthless and I can’t find a Domme who will want me for who I am – one who won’t try to force me into a mold that just doesn’t fit. I just want peace – to not have to look over my shoulder for some psycho bitch who can’t get it through her head I’m not hers.” He finally braved a glimpse at her from his peripheral vision. She’d stopped midway between the sink and the stove. Setting a the pan of something steaming on the counter, she made her way over to him. A familiar touch to his chin had him relaxing into her palm. Lifting his face to hers, she rubbed her finger over his lower lip.
“You don’t deserve what happened with that tupoy, but never doubt for a second you’re not worthy of a Mistress. You have a lot to offer to any woman lucky enough to collar you.” Her fingers slid down over his throat. They lightly skimmed the tender bruising on his neck. “I was a fool to let you go. Perhaps if I’d been greedier, this wouldn’t have happened.”
He cupped her hand to his cheek before denying her claim. “No, it was my decision to go home with them. It had nothing to do with you, Olivia. I wish I could go back and change it but I can’t, so I have to live with the consequences. With everything in me I wish I … I felt different. But I don’t. I just can’t deal with what you want from me. I have nothing left to give to you. They broke me.”
She pulled her hand free to step back. “How can you say that?”
Frustration rolled through him. “Haven’t you been listening? I’m broken and not worth the time or effort you’d have to spend fixing me, a simple play sub. I know you. You’ll try to fix me if you’re able to. ”
She shrugged. “You act as if caring is a weakness – it isn’t. Maybe you should realize even if I thought you were broken, you’d be worth the effort. You’re more than a mere play sub, and have been since the moment you offered to guide Jude. You became a friend, a confidant along with being my lover and submissive, but no matter how you define yourself, I don’t think you’re broken.” She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest the fact. “Perhaps a bit bruised and battered - but never broken. If that were the case, you wouldn’t have fought back during the second attack. You’d have let her place her collar on you.”
“Just because I refuse to sign up for a lifetime of abuse, doesn’t mean I’m ready to accept another’s collar.”
She placed her hands on her hips. “Have I asked you accept mine?”
Heat infused his cheeks once more. “No, and that’s the point. You don’t want another sub nor do I want to be a pity fuck.”
A sound of frustration escaped her. “You can’t have it both ways. First you say you don’t want to get involved, but then you complain I’m unable to love more than one man. That’s being a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”
He hissed. “This is exactly why I can’t do this. I’m sooo damned confused! It’s why I won’t put you through the wringer, when I’m not sure if I ever can...” He shook his head at the thought of hurting Olivia already more than he had. “It’s just better if we don’t…”
“Cut the bullshit.” She stalked closer to him to poke at his chest. “You’re scared you’ll find out you need what we’re offering you, and then have to admit you were wrong for leaving us.”
“Like hell.” He moved away from her.
“Then prove it. Tonight after Ethan leaves, my official night off starts. Join us. ”
His eyes widened as her invitation and it’s implication sunk in. “I…you can’t…it’ll hurt you if I….” His emotions flared as he tried to figure out how the hell he was going to keep from going insane when he heard Jude dominate her. Her pleas would drive him insane, along with the memories of the last time he’d joined them.
Crowding him against the back of the chair, she placed her hands on either side of him. “Like hell I can’t. Dealing with all this shit has been stressful and I need a break. I can’t think of anything I’d enjoy more than having you there when Jude dominates me.” Her tone softened a bit. “And I’m a big girl. If I get hurt, it’s my own fault. I’d really like it if you’d join us.”
Fear coursed through him warring with his natural desire to give into the woman who’d shown him how to accept his submissive side. “I can’t…” Even to his own ears his denial sounded weak.
“I think you can. You handled watching me bring off Jude last night. This time I won’t be in charge – the chance of what you fear happening is slim.” She drew a deep breath as if she were memorizing his scent. “Think about it. It’ll give you a chance to see if you can handle being in a BDSM scene again.” She moved away. “You don’t even have to admit it to me. Just let Jude know.”
He stared at her, absolutely flabbergasted when she returned to the stove, as if she hadn’t just exposed wounds not even close to healing with her words.
****
Scowling at the chicken scratches that were the directions Jackson had given her, Rena cursed the blasted white boy once more. She couldn’t believe she’d actually agreed to do this. If it hadn’t been for her genuine affection for Jude Larson – Jackson’s partner, she’d have told him to stick this assignment where the sun didn’t shine. Tossing the directions on the seat of the rental she drove, she glanced around for the stupid landmark he’d jotted down as the entrance to gravel road leading up to this Ike person’s home. Why the hell couldn’t she have met me at the airport or at a public place in town?
In a holder attached to the dash, her cell phone chirped. The hard driving rock track sent her blood pressure soaring. Ignoring it, she let the call go to voice mail. She doubted her sister had anything new to gripe about after the blowout they’d had the night before. Keisha hadn’t been happy when she’d informed her that she was leaving town again on business. In fact, she’d been hounding Rena about her nonexistent love life until Rena had accepted last night’s blind date out of desperation. But how the hell do you explain to your baby sister the man you want with every fiber of your being is wrong for you on every level, yet no other man will do?
Seeing the same sign she’d passed less than twenty minutes ago had her slamming on her brakes. This was ridiculous. Reaching for her purse, she drew out a neatly folded set of papers detailing the situation Jackson had couriered over to her house. Maybe the woman’s phone number was listed somewhere on it.
A tapping of a something metallic on the window had her head jerking up. Standing next to the car with a handgun lazily dangling from one hand was a camo-garbed woman who she’d never expected to see again – or at least had hoped not. Hannah – I-have-no-last-name. The last time she’d seen her, she’d been half naked, replete from the orgasm Jackson had given her after what was supposed to have been a mock scene to capture the man who’d stolen Thomas’s kids. Seeing Jackson with her had been the final straw that broke the camel’s back for Rena. A relationship between her and Jackson was a dead end road to heartache. Frankly she’d had enough of that to last her a lifetime.
“What the hell brings you down to this part of the world, Rena? Slumming?”
The off-handed taunt set Rena’s nerves on edge. Glancing around the open countryside and the sleek black motorcycle just behind the rental, Rena had to remind herself to not rise to the bait - to not comment about the fact the woman was driving an eighty thousand dollar motorcycle on the graveled back roads of Alabama.
“That would imply you live the slum, now wouldn’t it?” Tossing the papers back on the opposite seat, she prayed for patience. I’m here on business, not to kick this scrawny white bitch’s ass.
Violet eyes narrowed at her. She didn’t have the time nor the inclination to deal with a smart-assed kid who was so young she probably still got carded for booze. She was so going to kick Jackson’s ass when she got back for submitting her to this torture. “Listen, I’m not here to spar with you. My boss sent me down here to investigate an incident. If his damn handwriting wasn’t so atrocious I would’ve already found Ike.”
Hannah reached for the cell phone clipped to her hip. “Hey Ike, it’s me. I have an intruder about a half mile from the house. She says she has business with you.” Hannah shifted. “Who is it? It’s the black bitch of a security guard we met up in –” Hannah grew silent before a frown marred her features. “Aw come on, do I have to play nice?” Another pause. “Yeah, I hear you.” After closing the phone, she returned it to her waist. “Follow me.”
Pressing her lips together, Rena put the car in gear but cursed loudly as Hannah gunned the motorcycle, spewing rocks all over the rental’s paint job.
“I’m gonna kill her. Goddamn it, Levough – you’re gonna pay for every miserable little taunt this bitch dishes out.”
Less than five minutes later, Rena pulled into an open yard in front of a double-wide trailer. Parked in front of it was an ATV, a battered old truck, and what looked like a brand new mini-van. She could even see a tire swing hanging from a huge oak tree on the far side of the house. But what made her want to groan was the vast open area on the opposite side of the trailer which contained what looked like a military training field. Son of a bitch, I’ve landed in a cross between a redneck home and a military hell. Letting her forehead fall onto the steering wheel, she damned her boss straight to hell. She was so killing his ass when she got back.
“Come on.” A familiar rap on her windshield brought her head up. “Ike’s as big as a house and as testy as a junk yard dog on steroids. It isn’t a good idea to make a pregnant assassin wait on your black ass. It just might get you shot – not that it would be a tragedy.”
Praying for patience was no longer an option. The first blunt object she came across, she was going to wear out the little miss who’d definitely gotten too big for her britches, professionalism be damned.
Chapter Fifteen
Watching the taillights of Ethan’s SUV disappear, Jude sighed before ambling back to the porch. The sun was just setting and after Mistress made her nightly call to her brother, her night of submission would begin. Despite the fact he much preferred her in charge in the bedroom, he gave her one night each month to recharge her batteries and to give up the iron control she held so tightly. All day long he’d felt the tension building between her and Micah. He hadn’t been surprised when she’d thrown down the gauntlet – so to speak.
Olivia wasn’t known for her tact and when she wanted something, she was up front about it. And she wants Micah in bed with us – no questions asked. But odds of it happening weren’t in his favor. The other man had excused himself after supper to retreat to his room. More than anything he wanted to drag the man down the hall and toss him head first into Olivia’s open arms. It wasn’t just the idea of pleasing his Mistress which had him on edge. The taste of homecoming Jude had gotten last night when Micah had watched Olivia blow him wasn’t enough. He wanted more.
But I can’t force him. He has to come to us of his own volition.
Lowering himself to the top step, he idly wondered what he was going to tell his Mistress. How he was going to tell her Micah had refused to join them without hurting her? As far as he knew he and Micah were the only ones she’d ever given up her control for – even if it was only one night a month.
“Are you going to sit out here all night?”
His heart leapt as he recognized Micah’s voice. Turning his head, he saw the man sitting in the shadows on the porch swing.
“No.” He continued to stare out into the dark, not wanting to say anything which might chase Micah away, but refusing to make it easy on him. He has to tell me – I’m not going to assume on something this important.
“So…” The creak of the swing gave away Micah’s nervousness.
“Just spit it out, Micah.”
“Are you really going to dominate her with me in the house?” The harsh tone didn’t surprise Jude. He’d be on edge too, if he was Micah.
“Yes.” Rolling his shoulders he rose from his perch. “But the elephant sitting in the room is: are you going to join us or listen through the wall like you did last night?” He stopped in front of the swing.
Micah shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. “You about drove me around the bend. What the hell were you doing to her? It sounded like she was dying.”
A smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Eating her pussy. You ought to remember how vocal she can get when I get my mouth on her. I’m sure she’s done the same for you.”
The bitter sound which came from Micah sent dread through Jude. “No. I don’t. She only screams for you. Or haven’t you realized that yet?”
Leaning over the swing, Jude got in Micah’s face. “Bullshit. I watched her scream her ever-lovin’ head off the night before you came down here. And I’m not talking about when we double-teamed her.” He glared at Micah when he opened his mouth to protest. “You may have a short memory but I don’t. You drove her crazy with your mouth long before I joined. I could hear her sobbing, pleading with you to let her come. It was damn impressive. I was only gone for less than five minutes and you had her writhing on an agonizing pinnacle which would have taken me at least twenty minutes to achieve. So try another excuse because that one doesn’t hold water.”
Micah sneered at him. “So you tried to get even with me last night? If so you did an excellent job. I didn’t think you were a cruel man –”
Jude interrupted him. “Wait a god-damned minute here. No one said you had to stay in your room sulking. In fact, I told you last night you were welcome to join us any time you wanted.” Running a hand through his hair, Jude strived for patience which seemed to be in short supply anymore. “I’m tired of trying to convince you what we had between us is not only good - but right on so many levels. I miss the bond I experienced before you left. To be able to share Mistress with a man I trust implicitly is not something I can find on some damn street corner or in any club.”
Micah gaped at him, his mouth opening and closing as if he were struggling for words.
Jude held up a hand. “Forget it. I’m not going to argue with you anymore. You know where we are when you decide to qu
it being a stubborn brat. I’ve never seen a man who wants or needs our connection as much as you, but I’m not going to force you.” He turned to move away. “Once you get over your tantrum and realize what a sweet deal we’re offering, you know where to find us.”
* * * *
Digging his fingers into his palms, Micah fought the urge to call Jude back. I won’t go there – I can’t. But even telling himself how it would fuck up his life to get involved with them again wasn’t working anymore. His body didn’t care nor did his damn heart. Both wanted what they offered more than the air he needed to breathe. It’s not fucking fair! I shouldn’t have to be tempted this way. I should be able to shut it off – to ignore them. He knew he wouldn’t be able to though. He’d hear every sigh, gasp and cry Olivia made. It would torment him until he was so hard he could pound nails. Then he’d take his cock in hand and jerk off in time to her screams like he had the night before. He was pathetic. Lusting for a woman he wasn’t sure he could trust.