“It’s okay,” Emma said, her throat tight. It was one thing to assume what some people thought about her, another to hear it point blank, even if one of the women was a young officer drawing Samantha out.
Those who matter know the truth. Maybe it wasn’t enough after all, which was why she had agreed to the appointment with the lawyer. Emma was curious, and she was dreading it at the same time.
“You’re sure that young officer wouldn’t like a career in greeting cards?” Kitty asked, half serious. “She was pretty good.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t think so.” Jayce laughed. “She said the boss was nice though. Speaking of which—I would love to take your employee to dinner now. You’d think you can let her go a few minutes early?”
She would need more time to let reality sink in, Emma realized as they were walking to the restaurant through the park, holding hands. Back in the halfway house, her only focus had been finding a job and an apartment, something to show for. She needed to work on a lot more than that to find her balance again, a confidence she’d lost even before her prison sentence—that sometimes, things could turn out the way she hoped, that she could trust, and even love someone.
Jayce’s cell phone rang, and she managed to answer without ever letting go of Emma’s hand.
“I see,” she said evenly after listening for a few moments. “Yes, that’s good news. Thank you.”
It was work. Most likely. With this new, hopeful perspective on life, Emma also had to realize that the world wasn’t revolving around her, not even Jayce’s. This call wasn’t about her. There was no need to panic.
“I should let you sit down first,” Jayce said after finishing the call.
Another lesson: Don’t make any assumptions one way or another, Emma reminded herself, her heartbeat accelerating in anxious anticipation.
“Don’t be scared. This is good.”
“I have a new front door, and my landlord is not canceling my lease?”
Jayce shook her head. “Better. Besides, if he did, you could always come live with me—too soon? No, that’s not it. You remember Detective Jackson. He told me that Maxine is changing her initial statement.”
The world vanished for a moment, and Jayce quickly steered her towards the closest park bench. In a heartbeat, the questions multiplied. Emma had hoped for this day to come for so long, and eventually given up on it. She had no illusions about Maxine’s motives. Certainly she’d want something in return.
“Why would anyone believe her after all these years?”
“Remember, it’s what you said all along, and she’s finally confirming your story. She agreed to do this even though it places the blame solely on herself—the way it should have been in the first place. I’m sure that will make sense to any judge. Don’t over think it. This is something to celebrate. It will make our case easier.”
“That sounds great.” Emma got to her feet when she was sure she could trust her legs to hold her up again, still not finding all the words to express the turmoil of emotions, but thankfully, she didn’t have to.
“It is. Believe it,” Jayce said, kissing her softly.
It had been a long time since Emma had dared to dream of anything other than what was expected of her, to hope for something more than what would satisfy the parole officer. She hadn’t felt free once she got to live in the halfway house, imprisoned by guilt and fear of failure.
Freedom, inside and out, was no longer a faraway dream. It was right here, within her reach, and the best was, she had someone to share it with.
3. New Rooms
She had one more night with Emma before her assignment started. That didn’t leave Jayce with a lot of time to take care of some important matters. She was glad Brianna had agreed to meet her in her office. She didn’t mind the latte from the fancy coffeemaker either. Perhaps she had chosen the wrong profession after all. Emma’s case was pro bono, to right a wrong. Neither of them could have afforded Brianna’s services otherwise. They’d been lucky.
Jayce’s visit today was about everything but the money Emma would hopefully soon see in her bank account.
“You two have nothing to worry about,” Brianna said, taking a sip of her own latte. “The Powers That Be want this over, the sooner, the better. Obviously it’s an embarrassment to them that Emma’s case was handled so badly, and they want as little exposure as possible.”
“Sounds good. I came here to ask you something though.”
“Anything.”
Jayce took another look around the fancy office, wondering how she could break her request to her friend without sounding awfully patronizing. It wasn’t likely.
“Thanks. You know I have to go away for a couple of weeks—for work. I wondered if you could check in with Emma every once in a while, because I won’t be able to.”
Brianna regarded her for a moment, silently, though the surprise showed in her expression.
“She’s aware you’re going, right?”
“Yes, of course. I just don’t want her to be alone that long.”
“And it would be too obvious if you asked anyone at work, right? I understand. I could give her a call once in a while, but I’m sure Emma will be fine. She’s been through a lot and made it out on the other side, not to mention she’ll have some financial security soon. I don’t think you have to worry about her.”
That might be true, but Jayce worried anyway. Since the days in the halfway house, she and Emma had gotten close. While Emma seemed okay with the prospect of a temporary work-related separation, Jayce didn’t want her to think she was letting her down. She worried, because truth be told, Emma had a knack for attracting trouble without meaning to. Yes, that sounded patronizing. She had to turn it down a notch.
Maybe Emma wasn’t the only one she was worried about. In the past, Jayce had accepted undercover assignments without thinking, because she had only herself to take into consideration—not anymore. This time, she wished someone else could have done the job, but Lieutenant Chomsky had zoomed in on her right away.
“You might be right,” she said. “Thanks for the coffee and…everything. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. Good luck on whatever it is you’ll be doing.”
“Thanks.”
Jayce could use some good luck—lots of it, actually, to wrap up this case soon and be back to what passed for a normal everyday life, on the job and with her girlfriend.
When she arrived at the apartment twenty minutes later, Emma stood at the stove in her tiny apartment, Elvis the kitten brushing against her legs. Jayce found that the domestic scene made her ridiculously happy.
“I’d be willing to chop something in exchange for a glass of wine,” she offered after embracing Emma from behind and placing a kiss on her neck.
Emma laughed. “You’re a little late for that, but you can still have a glass. It’s almost done. How was your day?”
“Same old.” Jayce shrugged. She got another glass out of the cabinet and helped herself to the open bottle of red wine. On second thought, she grabbed a spoon and stole a taste from the pot on the stove, where the stew, vegetable, potatoes and meat, was simmering. The wine would go well with it. For the next few days, she’d have her meals provided for her, but she doubted they’d be this delicious. Alcoholic beverages would be out of the question. “What about yours?”
“It was good. We got a couple of weddings today.” Emma sounded a tad wistful at that. She had been working at the greeting cards and stationary store for a while now, and would probably continue to do so after the payment came through. First of all, it wouldn’t be that much. Brianna had often said they could go higher, but like the aforementioned Powers That Be, Emma wanted it over, and Jayce could sympathize.
Two weeks, three max, it didn’t seem all that long. The prospect loomed, all this time of not letting her guard down, always watching her back. Maybe she should look into a possible transfer to another unit. She had always liked working with the people on her team though, Danie
l, her partner who was married to Emma’s boss Kitty, long-time friends. Lieutenant Chomsky who was one of the most skilled cops and the best supervisor Jayce had had in her career.
Those would be two weeks of slipping back into the mind of J. C. Turner, who couldn’t seem to get her life together. J. C. kept hanging out with the wrong people, and had a dangerous habit of abusing prescription meds. The dangerous part here was how close she’d come to being that person at one point in her life. It helped make the undercover persona real, but it was also a trip down memory lane she didn’t like taking.
“You’re quiet,” Emma observed. “I hope it’s not me mentioning the weddings.” If there was a hint of concern to her voice, it was because she knew exactly what Jayce was thinking about. They had talked about it at length.
Jayce pulled her close in response. “No, it’s not. I’d marry you in a heartbeat. Especially now that you’re going to be a wealthy woman…I’m kidding. Not about the marrying part, but…you know.”
“Yeah.” Emma went into her embrace eagerly, wrapping her arms around Jayce in return. “It’s going to be fine.”
She heard that a lot today. Jayce had no reason to believe otherwise. She’d had worse assignments before, and most importantly, she had one more night left before she had to become J. C. for a while.
A woman had died in a psych ward for patients who had committed criminal offenses, an apparent suicide that was highly suspicious. If someone else had caused her death, that person most likely still had access to patients, probably worked there, and it was up to her to find them.
It was going to be fine.
She’d have Emma to come home to.
* * * *
The first time they’d met was during one of Jayce’s undercover assignments. Emma never had any illusions that there wouldn’t be others at some point. She was okay with it in theory.
Since Jayce seemed to have doubts, Emma couldn’t afford to let hers show. The problem was she’d seen up close and personal how dangerous these assignments could get, and she knew she wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep until Jayce was back home. That wasn’t what she told her though.
“I’ll be fine.” She poured another glass of wine for each of them and turned off the stove. Dinner was ready to be served. They had tonight until Jayce would leave early in the morning, adopting the role of a troubled woman better served by therapy than a women’s prison according to the courts. “In a couple of weeks, you’ll have what you need, or they’ll pull you out if there’s nothing new to learn, right?”
“Yeah, something like that.” Jayce took a sip and sighed deeply. “I’m sorry. I know you took care of yourself long before we met. I don’t like the timing of this. Chomsky could have sent anyone.”
Emma had many thoughts on this. Maybe she’d taken care of herself for so long in a hostile environment that she appreciated having someone by her side who didn’t smother her, or let her down continually, the way Maxine had. Emma was embarrassed to think that she hadn’t been the only one, but that was a conversation for another time.
“Maybe she didn’t want to send just anyone, because you did a great job last time.”
Jayce gave her a long look, slightly amused, and it occurred to Emma that the job wasn’t all she was thinking about.
“Right. Even with all the distractions, and I’ve had lots of them.”
That time seemed like another world in the relative peace they’d found afterwards. While Emma would never regret that her time in the halfway house ultimately brought them together, she could understand that Jayce wasn’t too happy about the situation. She had her own demons to battle, and her undercover persona came dangerously close to them.
“Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be careful,” Jayce said, which, in Emma’s opinion, was not the same. “I’m sorry I can’t tell you too many details. I want to get it over with and come back to the regular job.”
“I understand. Maybe I can distract you a bit more later.” She managed to keep her tone casual, but she’d conveyed the meaning anyway.
“I can’t wait,” Jayce said, leaning in for a kiss that made Emma want to skip dinner. They didn’t have any time to waste after all.
They ate the meal mostly in companionable silence, each of them busy with their own thoughts. After seven already. A few hours from now, Jayce would leave. She was right, Emma had been taking care of herself for a long time, because she had to. It wasn’t for a lack of capability that she needed to be close to Jayce. This relationship was the most special thing that ever happened in her life. She needed to hold on to it any way she could. Jayce would understand.
For dessert, she served a warm cherry pie with ice cream.
Jayce sighed. “You know, you’re making it a lot harder to leave.”
That might not be such a bad thing, Emma thought. “Because of dessert?”
“Yeah, that too.”
She held Jayce’s gaze, smiling. “When you’re back, we can do this more often. Until then…I hope you’ll miss me a little.”
“You have no idea.”
Emma didn’t object though she could certainly imagine based on her own state of mind, the intense longing she felt even now when they were still together. If she could have that reassurance, maybe those two weeks wouldn’t be so bad after all, especially if…she didn’t want to think about that, not right now.
“I miss you already,” she confessed. “I had some more plans for tonight though…unless you’re tired, I know tomorrow’s an earlier start, and it’s even earlier since you’re staying here, so if you…”
“Emma. It’s all right.” Jayce leaned close to kiss her, bringing Emma’s nervous ramblings to a halt. “Let’s just do the dishes first. I don’t want to leave you with all this.”
“I’m sorry,” Emma said, self-conscious and a bit annoyed with herself. “Everything is going so well, I guess that is freaking me out a little—but the money will come, and you’ll be back in two weeks, and life is going back to normal.” She shook her head with a wry laugh. “I’ve been waiting years for this moment. Now that it’s here, I sometimes still have trouble believing it.”
“That’s completely normal after everything you’ve been through. I understand.”
That was the best part, Jayce truly understood. While her story differed greatly from Emma’s, she also had to adjust to a new normal. It took time. Meanwhile, they had each other.
Emma ran a hot bath for the two of them. The space was too small for candles, but the bathroom light had a dimmer, the soft glow creating a warm relaxed atmosphere. For so long, she had managed to keep her guard up while getting naked with someone. Jayce had found a way under her skin, and Emma didn’t mind. When they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves any longer, they retreated to the bedroom, hair still damp and dripping. It didn’t matter. There was an urgency, too hard to resist, like when they’d spend the night together in the halfway house not knowing what would or could come out of it. It was different this time. There was a future for the two of them.
Emma didn’t want to lose a moment until the daunting goodbye, but at some point, she had fallen asleep, gently coaxed to wakefulness by Jayce’s whisper.
“Hey. Emma. It’s time.”
Emma bolted upright in bed, fully aware. The curtains were closed, but not all the way. It was still pitch dark outside.
She held back all the first thoughts that came to mind, like, not yet, and do you really have to go? They were grown-ups. They had made it through worse. She got out of bed. Jayce was fully dressed, holding a coffee mug. The smell of coffee this early in the morning nearly made Emma gag, but she forced herself to ignore the sensation.
“Two weeks.”
“It might be three,” Jayce reminded her, “but not more than that. It’s not that big of a place.”
“Okay. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere meanwhile.”
“I’m counting on it. You should go back to bed. The coffee will still be good
when you need it.” Jayce set the cup on the counter. “I have to go now. I love you.”
Leaning into her embrace, Emma wanted cherish the feeling, believe that everything would be all right, and brush aside the superstitious notion that instead, something terrible might happen. It wasn’t easy. In the past years, she’d had her share of terrible—not now. Everything had changed, hadn’t it?
* * * *
Emma’s heart was hammering as the secretary addressed her.
“Ms. Curtis? You can go in now.”
She might be making a big mistake, but there was no way she could back out now short of fleeing from the office. Come to think of it, big mistake was a relative term compared to others in her past. She had made it this far. The alternative was to spend those weeks by herself, wondering, worrying. If this worked out, she might gain new prospects in many ways.
If.
She shook hands with the director and the head nurse, glad her hand didn’t tremble, and took a seat in the visitor’s chair. The director was tall, broad-shouldered, wearing a dark suit, definitely not someone who spent all of his time behind a desk juggling numbers. Emma had found in her research that he was a psychiatrist who had gone into administration recently. The nurse was equally tall, and Emma already felt crowded. She crossed her legs, wringing her hands in her lap, glad that the huge oak desk kept the other two occupants from seeing it.
“Welcome, Ms. Curtis,” the director said. “We’re glad you’re interested in the nurse’s aide’s position. We just have a few questions regarding your resumé.”
Emma had let the pen hover over that particular question for a long time and then decided to be truthful. She couldn’t change her past and everything that was rather ugly in it—that’s why she was working even harder on the future. If she had lied, it would have come out anyway, even if the lawsuit was hardly high profile.
“I understand that, and I’m glad you’re giving me a chance to explain. I filed a lawsuit against the city and was granted restoration.”
Jayce & Emma Page 10