by Mary Calmes
He would die, and it would be the second time I failed to protect my best friend, the man who held a piece of my heart.
My vision went white, and there was nothing.
INHALING deeply because the smell, a mixture of pine, wet earth, and fire, was intoxicating, I let out a deep purr of contentment before I opened my eyes. Instantly, my bleary gaze met the golden one of my mate. Lifting my head, he growled softly, still petting me, stroking my muzzle with his razor-sharp clawed hands.
“Oh thank God,” Crane breathed out.
Turning my head, I saw him through the bars of the cell and wondered why he was locked up.
“Not me, idiot,” he snapped irritably, reading my mind like he could sometimes.
It took a minute before I realized that I was in Logan’s cell.
“Jin.”
Looking to the left, I saw the priest of Chae Rophon, and then I finally registered the others. Apparently in the dungeon of the tribe of Khertet, the cells were free-standing squares, not interconnected, and on all four sides of Logan’s were people and more people, jockeying for position to peer in at me. My mate and I were on display.
I whimpered, and Logan was suddenly there, leaning against me, the claws buried in my fur, face pressed to the side of my neck as he simply breathed. His warmth, his scent, all soothed me, and I put my head down on my paws before returning my eyes to the priest. Logan crawled on top of me, arms and legs hanging down around me, and just let me feel his weight.
“Listen to me,” Hamid said gently after several minutes. “Ammon El Masry sent two cats to your campsite tonight to kill your beset, as we had all heard that he was the one who had helped you with the control of your nekhene power. He had not thought, none of us did, that you could run up the side of a mountain and simply leap off and return so quickly.”
There were whispers and murmurs from those crowding around us, and I got the idea that what I had done had been a bigger deal than I had registered at the time.
“You and you alone arrived in time to save Crane Adams, though as beset of a reah, I truly believe that he could have easily handled two assassins.”
“Agreed,” Crane groused, and when I looked at him, I saw his scowl. “We are so gonna talk about this.”
And it was funny, really. Here was the priest and everyone, all the people that come with the semels, the semel of Khertet, the tribe of Khertet, everybody except Ammon, and Crane was there, like normal, giving me grief like it was just the two of us and he was pissed off. It was nuts.
“Regardless, you eviscerated the assassins, and after they were killed and the alarm was raised, we found ourselves faced with a nekhene cat that none of us could control.”
I waited for what came next.
“Ammon has been placed under guard in seclusion, and he, too, has been ordered to change into his werepanther form. He has also requested that the final one-on-one trial between him and the challenger include the maahes so that now, your maahes will be unable to compete in the challenge of the heart. You must choose another to stand beside you.”
He was acting like it was bad news. I would much rather have Domin with Logan in the final challenge than standing beside me in mine.
“You must shift and tell me who will stand with your beset Crane Adams, Andrian Basargin, and yourself.”
I looked at Crane and saw the concern on his face.
“Nekhene.”
My eyes returned to the priest.
“You were following the scent of the assassins back to Ammon and would have disemboweled him, as well, had you found him.”
I was scared to hear what I had done.
“Many of Orso’s khatyu were wounded before the counsel of your beset was heeded.”
Again, I was looking at Crane.
“It’s why you find yourself here, Jin; your beset had us release your semel, and he found you quickly and brought you here.”
I had no memory of anything.
“You would follow your semel anywhere, it seems.”
Of course I would; the man was my mate, and I loved him.
As soon as I thought it—mate—I was me and being pinned to the dirt floor under two hundred pounds of shifted creature that was my semel.
“Oh blessed be Ra,” the priest gasped, and even though I knew he was right there, knew everyone was watching us along with him, I just didn’t care.
“Logan.” I breathed out his name, laughing because I couldn’t help it. He was squashing me.
He moved fast, and I felt a hand on the small of my back telling me not to move, not to run, before both clawed hands were on my hips, lifting my ass in the air. The swipe of tongue over my right cheek gave me an idea of what he wanted.
The first purr was involuntary, as was the second one, when his fangs traced down the curve of my buttocks to the back of my thighs. He inhaled deeply, my musky scent apparently just as alluring as his was to me, and even as I wondered at his agenda, I realized I didn’t really care.
“Jin.”
Crane’s voice cut heat like nothing else, and the fog of passion cleared enough for me to lift up and look over my shoulder at my mate.
His eyes were golden slits of primal, carnal need, and his mouth was open, panting. The urge to submit had me teetering on the verge of begging.
He let his pheromones breathe between us, and when he heard my deep, dark moan, he came forward, his sweat-damp fur sliding over my own slick skin until his engorged shaft notched into the curve of my ass. I leaned forward to angle down so I could take him inside me.
“Jin.”
Logan bristled instantly at the intrusion, and claws scraped my skin.
“Honey.”
I lifted my head so I could see over Logan’s shoulder and find Crane.
Honey.
He never called me honey. The last time he had used it had been in Sobek after I had a panic attack.
“Can you come out?”
Out? Why the hell would I want to leave my mate? The nekhene in me was uneasy with the thought.
“No,” Domin commanded, and all eyes were on him.
“Do not let your power rise, you spoiled fuckin’ brat. Get the hell out of there; we’ve got a sepat to finish, and you’re not allowed to fuck your mate right now. Think about Logan seeing you and then having you taken away and then given back—how screwed up do you want him to be?”
He was talking about my mate, whom I loved. My semel… and I was his reah.
I took a breath, steadying myself, before I leaned free of his grip, crawled forward, and stood up. I was looking down at him for only a second, and then he was mirroring my movement, rising, staring at me. I took a step back and he followed instantly, stalking me. This was, after all, his favorite game.
“Shit,” I whispered, knowing there was no way I was getting out.
“I can go in and distract him,” Mikhail suggested.
“He’ll tear you apart,” Yuri assured him.
“Jin.”
I glanced at Crane.
“Just put him on the ground, on his knees, and let him know it’s okay and then walk out.”
How could I explain that even when Logan was a man, he liked this game? There were private things between my mate and me that no one else should or could know.
“Just wait,” Domin said, and we all heard the creak of the cell door as he came inside with my mate and me.
Logan’s roar of outrage as he turned and charged his maahes was horrible.
I yelled for Domin to run.
The priest screamed.
Hundreds of voices overlapped, and I caught Yuri’s in the mix, the terror hard to hear. But Domin only went to his knees and tipped his neck sideways, offering.
Logan reached him, and there were screams from the assembled crowd, but he only grasped Domin’s shoulder hard, tight, put claws deep into it, embedded, and bent his mouth to the vulnerable flesh. I held my breath and then took one when everyone else did as only my mate’s nose grazed over Domin’s skin.
“Your control, semel-netjer, is greater than any of these people can even guess. You and I, how many times have we done this, practiced this, knowing as we did that this day would come?”
They had? When had Logan and Domin become so close? How had I missed it? Maybe, just maybe, Domin leaving the house had hurt Logan more than he told anyone, even me. Maybe he was angrier at Koren than any of us knew for driving away not only his friend but the prince of his tribe.
Logan turned his head and pressed his nose into Domin’s palm.
“Go to Yuri, Jin.”
I stood and moved toward them.
“Don’t touch either of us,” he ordered me.
And even though I wanted to, I knew that reaching for Logan would serve no one, especially not my mate. I needed to go.
When I walked through the cell door, Yuri was there to receive me with a heavy wool blanket that he wrapped me up in from head to toe.
“Fuck,” he groaned, rubbing my arms, my back, tightening the blanket around my neck. “You scared the shit outta me.”
I turned to look back in the cell and saw Domin rise, leaving Logan on his knees, head lowered, in pain, I could tell.
He wanted to be a man, not a beast, and it was slowly tearing his heart out of his chest.
I felt tears well up hot behind my eyes as I took several deep breaths.
Logan was on his feet fast, not chasing Domin but rushing to where I was. He thrust a clawed hand out toward me through the bars, reaching, grasping, and pressing as hard as he could, trying to get hold of me.
I had to go.
“No,” Crane warned me, barring my path as Logan screamed out his rage.
The nekhene did not understand, and I felt my skin flush with heat as the power rose. I needed to get to my mate. Had to.
Yuri’s hands tightened on me so I couldn’t move.
“Listen to me.” Crane’s voice washed over me right before I started to shift.
My head tipped up, and all I saw was blue.
“Soothe him, he’s your mate, my reah. Give him solace, not pain.”
Solace.
Love.
I stepped around him and looked into the tortured eyes of my mate. He looked wild and hurt and angry, in a frenzy now, bashing himself against the bars with his need to claim what was his, have what was his right beside him, wrapped around him.
He would tear himself apart trying to shove flesh through metal.
Reah.
I belonged to my semel; I was his true-mate, and even as I let the love I felt for the man flow out of me, thought of how much he meant to me, my touchstone, I watched his struggle subside, saw the gentle calm creep over him, engulf him, and give him peace. His melted-gold eyes closed, and I could hear him take a last heaving breath before he took a step back from the bars, shivering hard.
My mate was my other half, and while that was beautiful, it was also terrifying, because we had so much sway over each other that it bordered on a control that could be crippling if misused. He was strong and virile and proud, and I could reduce him to a shattered husk if I wanted.
And he could do the same to me.
“Jin.”
I turned my own wounded eyes to the priest as he closed in on me.
“I apologize for insisting that you and your mate take part in the sepat, for to inflict a forced separation on true-mates is cruel. I forgot what enduring it looked like on both of you and had thought only to have the semel-netjer as semel-aten when I spoke Logan’s name to the council of Ennead. Forgive me.”
But I couldn’t do it with my heart breaking. “You asked earlier for a name, and I tell you now that Taj Chalthoum will join Andrian, Crane, and I in the pit to defend my semel.”
He nodded. “As he is a member of your tribe, and soon to be, I understand, an aker, he will be allowed into the pit.”
I nodded.
“We request permission to retire,” Yuri growled, and without warning, he turned and grabbed me and threw me over his back. He didn’t move until the priest gave him leave, but the second it came, he turned and strode away from the cells where all the other semels were held, up toward the pit.
“This is very caveman of you,” I sighed, “but the blood is rushing to my head.”
“The priest shouldn’t be sorry he did this to you and Logan, he should be ashamed of himself. It’s a fuckin’ ordeal,” he snarled at me. “And all those people looking, watching like it’s a freak show, not understanding that it’s killing him, that this is eating his heart out—fuck!”
He was angry, furious for Logan and for me, and I felt it rolling off him. “Put me down and let’s walk together, okay?”
Once he set me on my feet, we were joined by Domin and Crane.
“Are you alright?” Crane asked me.
I swallowed hard, trying so hard to keep my power from rising, to stay in control, contained, and not let my pain show.
“Jin.”
I turned my head to Domin.
“My reah,” he said, and his voice was low and husky. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”
He blurred, and I understood I was falling apart.
“God,” he sighed, smiling suddenly before he grabbed me tight and wrapped me up in strong arms. “We didn’t think we were gonna get you back, and then Crane had that brilliant idea to get you to Logan. I envy him the power he has in you, Jin, but that bond, the one between a semel and his reah, must really be something, because shit—the power is something.”
I let him hold me and tried to breathe.
“Jin.”
My eyes lifted to Taj as he and Andrian moved where I could see them.
“I’ve never experienced a run like the one you took us on tonight, thank you for that and for allowing us to be there to show all of us what the love between a semel and his mate should look like.”
I pulled away from Domin and bowed to Taj.
He returned the bow, and when I straightened I felt better, more me.
“Jin,” Taj said my name.
I could barely speak.
Taj was the same but managed to get out a very rusty sounding thank-you.
“You can’t ever go back to the Shu,” I told him. “You understand?”
There was a quick nod from him. “I do,” he said, his voice gravelly and low. “And I thank you and Logan for making me part of your tribe and showing me what a true home is. I will not fail you, you know I won’t. I’ll stand with you and Crane and Andrian and kill anyone that tries to hurt any of you.”
“It’s just Logan.”
“It’s never been just Logan,” he assured me, giving me a trace of a smile. “And he would agree with me if he were able.”
I really didn’t want to fall apart right there with people starting to close in on us, milling around, looking at the freaky reah. Domin had said I was in my nekhene form for a while, so that meant I had been gawked at and pointed at and basically been on exhibit with my mate. It was horrible and it wasn’t over yet, and now on top of it, Taj’s heartfelt confession was going to make me cry.
I wanted to run away.
“Listen,” Crane said, draping an arm around my shoulders. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up, okay? You’re covered in the blood of dead men.”
I nodded.
“But Yuri’s gonna hafta carry you again, because you don’t have any shoes, and you’ll get frostbite if you walk in the snow, even with your body temperature. You and Taj talking out in the snow in human form tonight was not bright.”
My eyes flicked to him.
“Domin told me. Not smart, Jin.”
Apparently I was making all kinds of poor decisions lately.
“Don’t do the poor-me bullshit, just let Yuri carry you, and I’m gonna wrap your feet in another blanket, alright?”
I didn’t argue.
Once we were outside, I felt so much better even thoug
h, really, the cold sucked all the air from my lungs.
Behind the back of the ger was a shower that was enclosed with clear plastic walls on all four sides, a protected, sealed heater on the top and warm, flat, smooth river stones on the bottom. It was like stepping into a sauna. You had to pour hot water into the base and it cycled and was pumped up a pipe, and then it rained liquid down on you from the shower head. The water had been brought from the home of Orso Bataar, from the hot spring that ran under the cave, on the order of his yareah. It was carried out to us in huge insulated tubs by several members of the tribe of Khertet.
“What exactly did happen?” I asked Crane as I stood under the water.
“Wash the blood out of your hair, Jin.”
“Talk, then.”
“Fine, wash.”
I did as he asked while he explained.
Two cats had come to kill Crane because, as the priest had explained, Ammon El Masry wanted my best friend dead. With Crane gone, he felt my control would slip, and with me gone, Logan would not be far behind. It was smart, it was a good plan, but he had counted on Crane being broken, which he wasn’t, and me being much less in control of myself than I was. His information on both counts was faulty.
“Did I really tear them apart?”
“Yes,” Crane assured me. “It was fast, faster than anything I’ve ever seen, it was like they were yanked into thin air and blown up. There were only scattered pieces left.”
I started retching.
“Stop,” he ordered me. “You saved me, even though two guys, Jin—c’mon, I’ve faced five before and been okay, just me.”
“You’re still hurt,” I barely got out, my voice garbled, my eyes watering like they did after a bout of heaving.
“I’m pretty strong, Jin,” he assured me. “You have to stop letting your heart stop every time you think something might happen to me.”
I nodded.
“Less talking, more rinsing,” Yuri said as he poured another huge tub of scalding hot water into the basin in a continuous stream, letting Crane concentrate on pumping only. By the time it reached me, it was only warm, the air cooling it that fast, the heater making sure I didn’t freeze as well as the rocks at my feet.
“How long was I in my nekhene form?”
“A long fuckin’ time,” Yuri grumbled, sounding angry and hurt at the same time.