How It Rolls

by Lila Felix

  “What the Hell is that?” I pointed at her chest.

  “What this? It’s my titty pistol.” In the mirror I saw her pull something metal and shiny out of her bra.

  “Are you shitting me? That’s so bad ass. I totally want one!”

  “Oh no, little sister, you have to be twenty one before you can get a concealed weapon permit. And when you do I will buy you a titty pistol myself.” Then she got closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Sylvia has one too.” She winked at me and I giggled on and off for the rest of the day at her coined phrase, ‘titty pistol’.

  She finally decided on an off the shoulder dress in bright pink because she said it reminded her of Jem. I knew who she was talking about from hearing her and Falcon talking about the show. And she was right. With the hair and the dress she was totally that girl.

  I sucked at picking a dress for myself so the girls picked for me. They argued like two hens fighting over a nest and finally chose a bronze colored dress, empire waist, with thin straps. We then scoured the stores for shoes and by the time they were done with me, I was exhausted.

  ~~~~~~

  I tried not to get too beat up on Saturday night at the bout, but it didn’t work. One girl named Hilary Killed-them popped me in the face and I could tell by the throbbing that it would be wicked in the morning. Sylvia made light of it saying that she had the perfect cover up stick to make it look like nothing had happened. I hadn’t seen Falcon since Thursday morning. His mom gave him a list of things to take care of before the ceremony. He took the list without complaint, without even the faintest eyeroll and did as she asked.

  Sunday afternoon, Sylvia, Nellie, Sylvia’s friend Rose, and I got dressed together and rode in a limousine to the ceremony site. It was an outside venue on the river’s edge under a canopy of Cypress trees. Candle lit lanterns hung from hundreds of different heights and gave the whole place a romantic feel. We snuck Sylvia into the back entrance so she and Chase could have a few minutes before everything started. Nellie went straight to Owen and I looked for Falcon. I finally spotted him talking to someone dressed in a white button down shirt and a black vest. I assumed it was someone with the catering company. But when his eyes met mine, the man and whatever he was talking about was forgotten. I twisted and twitched under his glare as he stalked towards me. He finally reached me and I avoided the obvious and commented on the décor.

  “It’s so beautiful out here. Someone worked very hard to get all this together.” He shrugged and dug his toe into the Spanish moss on the ground.

  “You did all this, right? You’ve been working your ass off this week making sure it was perfect for your parents.”

  “They deserve it, Poppy.”

  “You’re amazing, really.”

  “Me? Look at you in this dress. I’ve never seen you look so amazing.” I blushed under his praise and he rubbed his knuckles against my cheeks in recognition.

  Music started around us and we took our seats next to Owen, Nellie, Maddox and Maddox’s scantily clad date who introduced herself as Allie. The pastor went through the motions and as Sylvia and Chase said their own vows to each other, there wasn’t a dry eye under the trees. And when Chase held Sylvia’s face in his hands and said, “I lost you once, but I promise I’ll never lose you again.” Nellie broke out into chest wracking sobs beside me.

  The reception followed after the chairs were picked up and after eating, Falcon and I danced until it was time to tell the couple goodbye. And after everyone was gone, including the caterers, Falcon pulled me back under the trees and like the song waited for us; the speakers played I Found A Reason by Cat Power. I twitched with frantic energy. I knew what was coming but I couldn’t make myself stop it. I begged one of the lanterns to fall, the river to form a wave over the bank, anything to stop the train I could hear in the distance. But at the same time I was completely lost in his eyes. Please just leave us be.

  “Reed,” he whispered and I couldn’t help but cry at the desperation in his voice.

  “I’ve told you how much I love you as many ways as I can. This is where I show you.” He pulled a ring out of his pocket and kneeled in front of me. It was the single most beautiful ring I’d ever seen in my life. “Reed Elaine Wolfe, I would do anything for you to marry me.”

  I took a step back from him and he his eyes told me the internal panic had already set in. I placed my hands on my stomach, consoling it and begging for my food not to betray me. I tried to remind myself of the reasons I didn’t want to get married. What were they again?

  “Falcon, I’m only eighteen.” I practically screamed it at him.

  He stood up and smiled at me. Smiled at me! “Poppy, I’m not asking you to run off and get married tonight. I’m just asking if one day you will marry me.” I frantically spit out another excuse.

  “Do you know what married people do?” This time he blushed and I realized what I’d said to cause it, “Not that. I mean married people are mean to each other. They hate each other. They betray each other. I won’t do that to you.”

  He put the ring back in his pocket and reached for my hands. “Did you see something different than I did tonight? My parents love each other. Even when they weren’t together they never fought in front of us. Did you know that? Even when they split up my dad came over to take the trash out every day. I know you’ve seen some shitty marriages, I know that. But we can make a choice to have a happy marriage, together. We don’t have to be those people who backstab, nitpick and nag. We can be the rebels of the married people.” He ended his spiel with a laugh.

  “If it’s so easy then why are there so many divorces?” That was my last string of argument. And I was almost ready to admit that I had lost this battle.

  “I don’t know. I can’t answer that. But I do know that loving you is something I’m never willing to give up on.”

  “Yes.” I let it slip through my lips.

  He smiled momentarily and then straightened it, “Yes, what? Be specific.”

  “Yes, I will marry you,” I held up my hands, “Not today or tomorrow but one day I will, okay?”

  He picked me up and spun me around until we were both dizzy from the turns and from pure joy.

  “See these lanterns?” He pointed into the tree limbs.

  “Yeah.” How could you miss them?

  “No one asked for those. Those were just for you.”

  “They’re really beautiful. Thank you.”

  “Ok, let’s go home. I’m exhausted. I don’t think I’ve slept well in days.”

  We turned off a switch, darkening the lanterns. I thought they were real candles but they were electric ones. He walked me out to his truck and he pulled out of the driveway.

  “My house or your apartment?” I asked. I thought about when I used to sleep in my car. It probably wouldn’t have been so bad with Falcon.

  “I packed a bag. But if you want to stay at my place we can. I don’t care.”

  “Let’s go back to mine. That’s where we’ll live, right?” Oh holy hell, I couldn’t believe I just said that.

  He chuckled and turned to get on the interstate. “Geez, five minutes ago you were making sure we were gonna wait until we were thirty and now you’re planning our house. You move quick, I like it.” Oh no, he’d turned into a pompous ass on me.

  “Just drive Hawkeye.”

  Chapter 28

  Reed

  Somebody remind me to keep my phone away from Falcon. If I wake up to White Wedding one more time I was gonna scream. Yes, it’s only been one time. One morning, waking up to Billy Idol, is quite enough.

  The next morning I watched Falcon console Nellie after Owen left for his trip. I decided to spend the night with her on Tuesday night since neither of us had to work the next day. A slumber party with Nellie had to be a trip, she was just too much fun.

  Falcon and I stayed up most of the night talking about nothing and everything. We had both forgotten about the ring and about three am he placed it on my finger. I hadn�
��t let myself see the detail before but under the lamp of my bedside table I examined it properly. The lily cut diamond was absolutely flawless and three sapphires sat on the band on either side of the platinum band. I couldn’t have picked a more perfect ring if I shopped for it myself.

  Nellie wasn’t herself most of the day on Monday and Tuesday was more of the same. Falcon was worried and sat in front of her at my house while she ate. She blamed it on Owen but it was more than that. There were circles under her eyes and she just looked beat down. I went to her house after practice and tried to cheer her up.

  We ate pizza and ice cream out of the cartons while we watched scary movies. We dyed my hair, finally, and here I sat looking the epitome of tealness. Falcon was gonna freak. And maybe this color would convince him to stop calling me Poppy even though I secretly loved it.

  We laughed and talked about our men. She was right, Owen had some muscle on Falcon but Falcon won in the patience and temper department. She was really married to a hot head and she loved him to pieces. We talked about the wedding and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it may be years before I was ready. She told me about her and Owen’s wedding and the famous breakup. And listening to her I began to see that Chase and Sylvia weren’t the only ones who had beaten the odds. Those two would go the distance too.

  After I had been there a few hours, Nellie complained of some stomach pain and drank a ton of the pink stuff to help. She blew it off as indigestion and we started up the next scary ghost movie. She went to the bathroom several times and each time made lewd jokes about pregnancy and poop. One thing you could count on, Nellie and poop jokes.

  She had cramps for a few hours now and I was really starting to get worried. I knew something wasn’t right. She kept shooing me off but I could see she was in pain. She put a call into her doctor and they hadn’t returned the call yet. I told her we should just go to the hospital but she dismissed my request. She got up to go to the bathroom and she stopped on the way and grabbed hold of a small table but after a few moments, kept walking. I paced in her absence. Something was wrong. She kept saying that her doctor appointment was next Monday and Owen would be back by then. She chanted it like a prayer, “Owen will be back on Monday, Owen will be back on Monday, Owen will be back on Monday.”

  I was brought out of my worry by a faint whimper from the bathroom. I got up and stood outside the door.

  “Nellie, are you okay?” I put my hand on the knob, ready to turn it.

  “I’m—I don’t…”

  “Nellie?” I stopped asking and went in. The tears came even though I needed them to stay back. I rushed to her; she was slumped against the wall, still sitting on the closed lid toilet, having apparently fainted. One stream of red trickled down her left leg and the front of her dress was covered in blood. She must’ve started bleeding when she stopped at the table and didn’t tell me. I picked her up to a sitting position and called her name to try to wake her. She woke up a little and then fell back unconscious. I reached for my phone in my back pocket to call 911. They told me to wait and they were sending an ambulance. Please don’t let her lose this baby.

  I dialed Falcon. This was a phone call I never wanted to make. It seemed like forever before he picked up.

  “Hey, are you cheering up my bestie?”

  “Falcon keep calm, I just called 911. Meet us at the hospital. She’s cramping and bleeding. Something is very wrong with her. I’m afraid it’s the baby. “

  “What happened? “ He barked into the phone as he shifted into big brother Falcon and I heard his tires squeal in defiance as he slammed on the brakes.

  “I don’t know. The ambulance is on the way. She’s passed out cold. I’ll see you at the hospital.”

  “Ok.”

  I hung up on him and waited. I tried to wake her up again but she just moaned and was still clammy. Her forehead was dotted with sweat. I had to let her go to let the paramedics in. I propped her up the best I could and answered the door. And then they took over. I almost threw up at the scene before me. It wasn’t the physical part; it was Nellie, the sweetest person I knew, going through this. They bustled her back and forth calling her name after getting it out of me. They stuck her with needles and pumped a blood pressure cuff. The burly moustached man covered her with the stiffest, scratchiest blanket I’d ever seen on top of the gurney. Her head lolled back and forth as the maneuvered her. They yelled at me to grab her purse and I obeyed. It took them forever to get her down the stairs and to the front of the bookstore to the ambulance. Why they had parked in the front instead of the back, I’ll never know. I got in; sitting on the hard steel bench beside her while they attempted to wake her up and asked her what seemed like random questions.

  Please don’t let her lose this baby.

  They turned to me for information and off the top of my head I knew her due date and I knew she took really good care of herself. And I remembered her complaining about the taste of the prenatal vitamins so I told them. I answered questions about drinking, smoking, and recreational drugs. The answers were all negative, of course.

  She gained some lucidity along the way and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. “It’s gonna crush Owen,” she whispered and then the paramedic shone a flashlight in her eyes, flooding her with questions and awareness tests.

  We got to the hospital and they took her to a room. I held her hand all the way until they tore us apart at the entrance to the sterile smelling room. I ached for her and for Owen. A nurse held my shoulders, stopping me from going in. As the doors closed, the little circle window hit my nose. Through those doors was my family. She had become my family. They all had. I had a family.

  Someone whispered for me to go to the waiting room and I followed the red arrows on the floor until I reached it. I sat in the first chair available, next to a man with army green pants on and muddy boots. Two palms were placed on my knees and I looked in front of me to see Falcon, squatting down in front of me.

  “Reed, how is she? Did they tell you anything?” He squeezed my thighs as he spoke softly to me.

  “No, they just took her.” Tears I didn’t know were there toppled over my bottom lids and hit my jeans.

  “Did she wake up?” He pressed.

  “Yeah, she said ‘Owen’s gonna be crushed’. Then they started asking her questions and then we got here.” I gripped her purse handle tightly, my connection to her and brought it up to hug it to my chest.

  Falcon teared up then and laid his head in my lap. I could hear him take deep breaths, so calculated they could never be normal. After a few minutes he stood and led me to a couch. He sat down next to me, draped his arm over my shoulder and kissed my temple. About an hour later Maddox came in through the automatic doors. Falcon and he talked back and forth and then we all fell silent again.

  A few hours later a woman came out and said ‘Family of Nellie Black.’ Falcon and Mad stood up and then looked at me like I was nuts when I didn’t follow suit.

  We followed the nurse to a room where we found Nellie laying in a stiff metal bed. Her face was turned towards the window and a nurse came in to cover her with a warm blanket. She shot something in Nellie’s IV and patted her hand before leaving. Nellie’s arms were crossed over her chest as silent sobs wracked her thin body. I heard the doctor tell Falcon something about a spontaneous abortion and fetal something or other. Finally Falcon, after the third time, informed him that if he called it that term again he wouldn’t need his medical license any longer. Maddox clenched his fists to drive the point through. It was the first time I’d ever seen him angry. But his anger was justified. This was my friend, my sister and that was her precious child, not a medical term to be repeated. I walked past the testosterone fueled feud and sat on the side of her bed and did the only thing I knew to do. I wrapped my arms around Nellie and sobbed right along with her. She would never get to hold the baby that everyone already loved.

  Chapter 29

  Falcon

  Here’s the thing about Nelli
e and me. I don’t need to ask to know something’s wrong. She doesn’t call before she comes over. She forces me to spill my guts and I always feel better no matter how much I fight her. And when she needs me, I’m there before she asks.

  They released her the next day. She made me promise not to call our parents or try to get Owen. Owen was on a boat but I could get in touch with them through the Coast Guard if I needed.

  “Chase and Sylvia are having the time of their lives and Owen’s research will hopefully lead them to more grants. And those grants fund their work. Anyway,” She looked through the window of the hospital room, “It’s not like anything’s gonna change. What’s done is done.”

  Reed only left the hospital to shower, eat, and come back. She doted on Nellie hand and foot, whatever she wanted. And talk about fierce, one nurse came in to take blood and Nellie squealed in pain. By the time the nurse left she probably regretted the day she ever enrolled in nursing school.

  We brought Nellie to her apartment. I went straight to the bathroom to see to cleaning up the blood but it was already done. When I came out, Reed was doing Nellie’s laundry while Nellie rested in her bedroom.

  “I thought you said she passed out in the bathroom.”

  “She did. I came yesterday and cleaned up before she got here. I didn’t want her to see the blood again. She didn’t need to see that.” She continued to put clothes in the washer like she didn’t just reveal how much she cared for my best friend, my sister.

  “Should we call her mom?” Reed asked while I was still in thought.

  “Nellie said not to, she didn’t even know Nellie was pregnant. She isn’t a fan of Owen, anyway.”

  “But blood is blood. If I had any blood relatives, I would want to see them, know what was going on in their lives. I bet her mom cares, even if she doesn’t act like it.”

  “Do you ever wonder about your Aunt Elaine? Do you ever think about getting in contact with her?” I started in on the small pile of dishes leftover from their half slumber party. She took up the spot next to me, drying the dishes as I washed them.