by Lila Felix
And what would hurt the most would be that it would sound like the truth…. That I was just trying to get over her, trying to find someone, anyone that would replace the dynamite-sized hole in my heart our breakup had created.
But I still had my pride.
And Olivia, I would never do that to Olivia—never. There wasn’t anything physical between us other than the determination to make her sister better and get her home. For some, unexplainable reason she had latched on to me through this whole ordeal and I would never take that away from her. How could I when everything else had been ripped out of her arms?
“Who’s that?” Olivia whispered against my chest. I looked down at her and followed her gaze across the room only to realize she was talking about Eden.
Eden and Kiran had been back to the Citadel briefly after they were attacked, but Olivia had still been unconscious at that point. They had left almost immediately to escort the nuns back to Peru and have a visit with Gabriel before he took off to find Silas. From there they had spent time with Kiran’s mother before returning. Analisa was shut off from the world, recovering from years of trauma with an abusive, crazy person for a husband and hadn’t heard about Terletov or the new baby.
The golden couple had only recently returned to the castle, and apparently introductions had yet to be made. I looked down at Olivia to answer her question and almost laughed out loud at the extreme distrust I registered in her expression.
“That’s the Queen,” I whispered against her disheveled head of matted hair. “I’m sure she’s here to help.”
Olivia snorted sarcastically and I wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t believe there was help for her sister or because she didn’t think Eden could help. Either way I found her amusing, she was such a firecracker.
“She’s pretty, isn’t she?” Olivia asked, but it didn’t sound like a compliment.
I made a noncommittal noise and then put some space between us, suddenly not comfortable with how wrapped up in each other we were with a room full of people watching us. “Tell me what happened tonight, and how her seizure started.”
“Only if you promise not to leave again tonight,” she demanded fiercely. I looked down at her, taking in her steely expression and the way she pressed her lips together in determination. She was a gorgeous girl, with perfect skin that heated to a pretty pink when she was angry, pouty lips that she was constantly mashing together making them bright red and stand out even further against her softly tanned skin and if it wasn’t for her hug, deep blue eyes I would have believed that she was completely full of herself. But it was in those depthless eyes that I saw the myriad of emotions that defined her and right now she was flooded with fear. Of course I would stay, I was her friend, or at least her friend during this terrible time in her life. If she needed me to stay, I would stay.
“I won’t leave you again tonight,” I promised and the terror that was there before dissipated into the briefest expression of relief.
I was tired and grumpy and completely overwhelmed, but that little bit of relief, the little bit of stress I just removed from Olivia’s shoulders made certain that sleep was not important.
Olivia needed me.
And an excerpt from A.M. Hargrove’s next installment in the Guardians of Vesturon series!
reEMERGENT EXCERPT
PROLOGUE
The Planet Earth
The female trudged through the streets of Atlanta,post-pandemic Atlanta, not focusing on anything but the back of the individual in front of her. Her black hair was filthy and matted, her fingernails ragged and torn with dirt caked beneath them. The sooty streaks covered her skin, but if one took the time to look closely, they would have noticed that at one time she had been quite beautiful. The vacant look in her eyes hid any kind of recognition, any kind of triggered memory that might exist, buried deep within her mind.
“Halt!” the commander yelled.
The line of workers came to a stop as they waited for their next orders.
“This is where we stop for the night.”
They were in front of a large empty warehouse in which the windows had been broken and the doors torn away. The streets had been abandoned months ago, when the hemorrhagic smallpox disease had swept through the city, and then the country and finally the world, leaving millions of people dead in its wake. That’s whenthey came…the Xanthians. They came to take over Earth and make it their own. She was part of their scheme, only she didn’t remember that. She scarcely knew anything anymore. Her mind was now controlled by them…by the nanochip they had implanted into her cerebral cortex. It had taken over her brain and turned her into a minion. She now belonged to them, doing exactly as they told her, without a thought of her own.
They entered the building and heard the rats scurrying away. Rats and cockroaches…they’d survive anything, it seemed. Many humans had been forced to start eating them to survive, for the food sources had quickly dried up and disappeared. Unless you had a spot of land where you could plant something, you were out of luck.
“Number four, get over here and give us a hand,” one of the Xanthian soldiers yelled.
The dark haired girl hurried over to assist him. They were setting up this place as their new headquarters. She was carting crates inside that they had just teleported from Xanthus, their home planet. She had long ago lost her aversion to the Xanthians, when she lost her memory and everything that was herself. She simply existed in her body, a shell, nothing more, nothing less.
The other minions set up pallets on the ground for everyone to sleep on and before long, darkness settled upon them. They were handed their rations which they ate and drank and then were told to sleep. It never occurred to them to do anything else, for they were minions, lacking the ability to think on their own.
CHAPTER ONE
The Planet Vesturon
I am power. I am strength. I am the wind. I am speed. I am courage. I am faith. I am hope. I am fierce. I am loyal. I am steadfast. I am true. I am protection. I am honor. I am a Guardian of Vesturon.
Xarrid Yarrister paced within the confines of the Guardian headquarters on Vesturon. Standing at about six feet four inches tall, and nothing but pure muscle, he was an impressive yet intimidating sight. Long wavy dark hair and piercing cobalt blue eyes, he wasn’t someone one would merely give a passing glance. In fact, his appearance demanded one’s complete and undivided attention. There was a time, and not too long ago, that he simply looked like the young brother of Rayn, Rykerian and Tesslar…softer and youthful. Not so anymore. Scultped and chiseled, he was magnificent to look upon, but Xarrid couldn’t have cared less about his appearance.
He had taken some hard knocks over the last year, one of them being the death of his brother Therron. The other one was the disappearance of his soul mate, Saylan. The latter had changed him into the male he was today. Hardened was the word that aptly described him. Most Guardians feared his wrath. Others looked up to him. All of them respected him. He was ruthless and cunning, but that’s not to say he wasn’t fair, because he was a Guardian after all.
Xarrid was on the hunt…the hunt for Saylan. He would never rest until he had proof that she was either dead or alive. If she was alive, pity the ones that held her. They would have hell to pay if they had made her suffer one tiny bit.
The door to the conference room opened and ten males filed in, including Xarrid’s brothers Rayn, Rykerian and Tesslar. His father, Rowan, the Great Leader of Vesturon, was also among them.
Everyone but Xarrid took a seat when he asked, “Well, what have you discovered that prompted you to call this meeting?”
The males looked around uneasily and finally Rayn, the eldest of the siblings, spoke. “The pandemic on Earth is winding down. Our Guardian teams were never able to make a dent in it with any of the vaccine we placed down there. The small pox virus was too virulent and before they could make any progress, it had wiped out sixty-five percent of the population. Our estimates are that it may go to at least seven
ty percent before it completely runs its course and dies out.”
Xarrid flexed his hands and then rubbed his neck. Ever since Saylan disappeared he’d refused to cut his hair which gave him an unkempt, wild look. Since he was a Guardian, he wore a thin braid in the back which was one of their requirements. They weren’t allowed to cut it but every ten years, so it added to his long and unruly hair, Xarrid looked the part of a rogue. He was the antithesis of his brothers and the other Guardians that were present as they wore their hair neatly trimmed and were clean shaven. Xarrid didn’t take the time to bother with such inconsequential things such as that. He didn’t have the time nor did he have the inclination.
“Bloody hell! It would be nice to get some good news for a change, wouldn’t it?” he asked no one in particular.
Rayn, the oldest of the brothers, gave him a long, hard look before he spoke. “That’s not all.”
“Well, what are you waiting for? Go on,” he bit out.
“There are reports that the Xanthians have streamed in and taken over. Humans are not only dead from the disease, but the Xanthians are killing anyone that won’t agree with their demands.”
Xarrid slammed his fist into the palm of his hand. “Those bloody Xanthians. I hate those bastards. My mission is to destroy them all.”
Rowan looked at him, his expression grave. The last year had taken its toll on all of them, but Rowan bore the physical signs like a banner. Tall, dark and handsome, he’d always been robust and full of life. Lately, the purple half moons beneath his eyes had deepened and the lines around his mouth were now more pronounced.
“My son,” Rowan began, “I don’t want to see you waste your life away by trying to destroy something that may be an impossibility.”
Xarrid turned to his father and in a voice laced with steel, said very quietly, “They took from me two of the people I dearly loved. I will live the rest of my life trying to get Saylan back. If and when I do, I will go after them with a vengeance. I will leave and breathe revenge, Father.”
Rowan sadly shook his head. “I would rather you focused your efforts on other things.”
“I understand whatyouwould rather have. Unfortunately,I have different goals.”
Turning to Rayn, Xarrid asked, “What are our teams doing on Earth regarding the Xanthians now?”
Rayn glanced around at the others before he answered. “We’re thinking about pulling out.”
“What? How can you think that? What about our Compound? What about the Nunne Hi? Talasi? The others?”
“We would keep the Compound active and the Command Center in Haywood County, North Carolina. All others would be evacuated. The Nunne Hi are safe right now. You know they won’t leave their Great Smoky Mountains. They are tied to their ancestors, the Cherokees, spiritually. Their caves are hidden and it would be nearly impossible for the Xanthians to discover their location.”
Xarrid started pacing, trying to make sense of what they’re telling him.
“We’ve been through this from all angles. When the virus finishes running its course, Earth will be a different place,” Rayn explained further.
Xarrid looked at Rayn like he’d grown an extra head. “That’s exactly why we need to keep our presence there. That’s when they’ll need us the most. Earth will be a hell hole Rayn.”
Rayn felt the knots growing again in his gut. He hated this decision. It sickened him whenever he thought of it. “We don’t have the troops to spare. We need all the hands we have to get Xanthus back on track.”
“We need to blow Xanthus up and forget about it. Then we’ll have the extra hands we need so we can rebuild Earth.”
Xarrid was losing his patience with Rayn. He let out a loud breath and started shaking his head.
“Xarrid, you know we can’t annihilate Xanthus. It’s against our covenants. The Council would never allow it nor would the Universal Free Rule. We are protectors of the universe, not destroyers. Besides, are you willing to take that risk where Saylan’s concerned, if she’s still there?”
Placing his hands on his hips, he stared at Rayn as he began tapping his foot.
“You know she’s not. Jurek and his team have turned Xanthus upside down searching for her. With their power, they would have located her by now. The Praestani do not fail in that.”
Rayn stared at Xarrid for a moment. He didn’t want to start an argument with him because they had been over this time and again. “You have your opinion of Jurek and I have mine. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Well then, as far as I’m concerned, this conversation is over. I have things I have to do. Father, give my love to Mother.”
Xarrid turned and stormed out of the conference room, leaving them all staring after him.
CHAPTER TWO
“I’ll meet you as soon as I finish,” Saylan said.
“Don’t be late. I can’t wait to share our news with everyone when we’re back on Vesturon.”
“Neither can I. Do you think your family will be pleased?”
“They love you, not nearly as much as I do, but they will be thrilled, especially Maddie. She will pride herself on her matchmaking skills.”
Saylan laughed. He adored her laugh. It did something to him he’d never experienced before. Turned him into jelly and brought him to his knees. If she’d have asked him to move a mountain, and then laughed afterwards, he’d have found a way to do it.
“You know Maddie will be gloating over this, don’t you? I can already picture her.”
“I can live with that, as long as you’re part of the package. Now be safe and finish up. I don’t want you to miss that transport. I miss your lovely face already. And Saylan?”
“Yes?”
“You’re mine and I love you.”
“I love you too Xarrid.”
“I have to go, but I’ll see you in a few hours.” He bent toward her, intending to kiss her, but her face began to fade away, like it always did.
“NO! Don’t leave me! Stay this time! Please don’t go Saylan!” he screamed.
Xarrid woke with a start, tangled in the sheets, covered in sweat.
He sat up and wiped his face, brushing the tears off his cheeks. He’d had this recurring dream for months, remembering the last time he’d talked with Saylan when he told her he loved her. Then she disappeared, like she always did. He’d driven himself crazy in his search for her. He’d never give up until he found her.
Dragging his hands through his thick waves, he threw off the bed covers, strode to the windows and stared across the dark landscape of Vesturon. His soul knew she still lived. Vesturions were like that. Their souls were attached to those of the ones they loved. They could feel it when they lost a loved one. When his brother Therron was killed, Xarrid felt his soul had been wrenched from his body, and left him battered and bleeding for months. He still hadn’t healed from that, and Saylan’s disappearance had just poured an extra heaping of vinegar on his raw flesh, burning it like acid. It burned every day. He expected it would forever, unless he found her. He slammed his hand against the window sill and groaned. Why couldn’t he get some sign, some small signal where she was being held? Filling his lungs with air, he released it and shuddered as he dropped to his knees and let his anguish flow. The tears gushed like a torrent, as they usually did, and he had long ago quit trying to stop them for he knew it was useless to do so. This had become his nightly ritual, and in the morning, he would awaken, curled up in a tight knot, stiff with swollen eyes from the tears he’d shed.
This is how Maddie, his sister-in-law, found him the next morning. Knocking on his door just after dawn, she entered, calling his name.
“Xarrid? It’s Maddie. Are you still asleep?” When she didn’t receive an answer, she walked to his bed and noticed the rumpled up sheets. Her eyes landed on a heap by the window and she moved over to find him balled up on his side, asleep. She reached out her arm and gently touched his shoulder.
“Xarrid? Wake up, it’s Maddie.”
He li
fted his lids, and looked at her oddly, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. “What’s going on?”
“Why are you on the floor?”
His face instantly flamed and he felt the heat of embarrassment that she should find him in this state. The confusion was quickly replaced by a mask of anger, for he was ashamed that she should discover him in such a pitiful state.
Sitting up, he acidly replied, “I don’t think that’s any of your business. Besides, when did you decide my bedroom had an open door policy for you?”
Maddie looked at him, assessing him. She knew him well, but more importantly she understood his grief. She had dealt with her own issues when she’d lost both of her parents as a teenager. Xarrid was hiding and she was tired of him burying his grief.
She crouched down in front of him and said, “I know what you’re doing and it isn’t working. Look at yourself. You’re a wreck Xarrid. It’s obvious you can’t sleep. You probably have dreams or even nightmares every night. You have to talk to someone. Please. Come back to us. We’re your family and we love you. We only want to help.”
Xarrid looked at Maddie and she thought her heart would break from the pain mirrored in his eyes. He looked away and stared at the wall. She saw his lower lip tremble and she took a chance and whispered, “I love her too Xarrid and I miss the hell out of her. Why can’t we help each other get through this?”
He turned to her and was in her arms before she could even think of how it happened. She couldn’t hear his sobs, but she felt his entire body shuddering from the force of them. The dam had burst and Maddie wasn’t sure how long it would take for the lake behind it to empty. It didn’t matter though, for she was prepared to stay with him until he stopped needing her to be there.
“I can feel her soul Maddie,” he cried. “I know she still lives, but I worry about how and where. Are they torturing her? Is she cold at night? Does she have enough to eat? Is she thirsty? Does she call out for me? Does she think I’ve abandoned her? I feel so bloody helpless. What the hell could have happened to her?”