by SJ West
“I never suspected that it would, which is why I never told you about his shadowing of us on those occasions.”
“His motives, I understand. He was just jealous and trying to protect me. It’s yours on that night that I’m a little fuzzy about. What would you have done if I had turned stupid and given in to you that night?”
“I would have taken you to my bed and given you a birthday gift you would have never forgotten,” Lucifer says cheekily. “I’ve been told I’m quite an unselfish lover, by more than one woman, I might add.”
“And after we had this wild night of passion,” I say with a roll of my eyes at such a concept with him, “what would have happened to us?”
“I never would have come to you again.”
I think about this for a few seconds before asking, “Were you trying to push me away or ruin my marriage?”
Lucifer continues to pet Luna as he contemplates his answer before giving it.
“I was trying to push you away before it was too late.”
“What do you mean by ‘too late’?”
“I thought that if I coerced you into being unfaithful to Mason, it would shatter the respect I had for you. And if I could coax you into my bed while he watched, that would just be the icing on the proverbial cake.”
“Why would you want to lose your respect for me?”
Lucifer sighs. “I was becoming too dependent on our friendship, and I didn’t like feeling as if I needed you in my life. You were the only person I cared about back then and that made you my weakness. Also … you were getting older, and I knew I would lose you to death eventually. I decided I would try to break my connection to you before you went to live with my Father. It was the one place I couldn’t follow you to.”
“Lucifer,” I say, reaching out to touch the arm he has resting on the chair, “I wish you had the clarity of mind back then that you do now, and I’m so glad you found Amalie. All I ever wanted was for you to find a way back to your Father because I knew you would never truly be happy until you did.”
I then proceed to pinch Lucifer hard on the arm.
“What was that for?” he asks, taking his hand off the hellhound to rub away the pain from the spot on his arm. “I thought we were having a tender moment of truthfulness, Jessica. How did I earn physical violence from you?”
“That’s for trying to seduce me and for trying to push me away. You’re damn right you needed me. I was the first one who finally got through that thick skull of yours and made you start thinking about what you were doing.”
“Well, I know that now,” Lucifer says defensively, still rubbing his sore spot. The hellhound whines and lays her head in Lucifer’s lap, looking up at him with pity in her eyes for his superficial wound.
“What’s up with the hellhound, anyway?” I ask. “Why did you bring Luna here?”
“She should be able to help us find Anna and Lucas,” Lucifer says, finally ceasing to rub his arm as he places a hand back on the soft white fur on Luna’s head.
“Why are her eyes blue? Every hellhound I’ve ever fought had black eyes.”
“It’s because she’s been raised to be kind,” he answers. “All hellhounds are born with a pure heart. It’s only the way they’re corrupted here in Hell that makes them vicious. From what I understand, Luna has proclaimed herself as Lucas’ protector. She has a special connection to the boy that will help make it easier to locate him. If we find Lucas, we find Anna and the babies.”
“Do you know where in Hell we are?” I ask. “Or have you lost your mojo for navigating around this joint?”
“Well, Helena has disabled everyone’s ability to phase down here, and I can’t teleport myself around Hell anymore since I lost my connection to it. From what my Father told me before I left Heaven, Helena has set up finding Anna and Lucas as a game. All we have to do is play by her rules and win.”
“How are we going to find the others?” I ask.
“We don’t need to. We just need to get to the castle. As long as you all make it there and find Anna, you win. Is that correct?”
“Yes.”
“Then all we have to worry about is getting you to the castle. Malcolm is capable of getting everyone else there.”
I have to smile. “There was a time you wouldn’t trust him to walk a dog. Now you have faith that he’ll be able to save your daughter. I find that ironic.”
“I can’t say my opinion of Malcolm as a person has changed very much,” Lucifer says to set the record straight. “Old habits of loathing die hard where he’s concerned, but I can’t dispute the fact that he loves my daughter and his children more than anything else in his life. He’ll win this game Helena is making him play or die trying. Of that, I have no doubt.”
I stand up from my rocking chair. “Okay, so where should we start?” I ask, looking down at Luna. “Do we just follow the dog?”
“Hellhound,” Lucifer corrects, also standing from his chair. “Basically, yes. We follow her.” Lucifer looks out at the neighborhood I grew up in and raised my children in. “All of this is just one big deception. Nothing you see is real, even though it might feel like it is and react as if it were. Luna will be able to walk us through Helena’s illusions and keep us on a straight path to Anna and Lucas.”
“So, she’s going to act like a bloodhound?”
“Yes, basically.”
“All righty then. Let’s get going. The sooner we meet up with the others, the better I’ll feel.”
As we walk off the porch and follow Luna, a sense of impending doom enters my heart. With Lucifer’s unexpected arrival in Hell, I have a bad feeling Helena is going to do something stupid to exact revenge on him for leaving her. A woman scorned is never a good thing, and it’s even worse when she’s the embodiment of Hell.
Chapter 11
(Helena’s Point of View)
War Angels. They’re like juicy little morsels filled with ooey, gooey, guilty goodness. Luckily for me, the ones who came with Malcolm are the best of the bunch. These particular War Angels are practically bursting with remorse for what they did during the war in Heaven. It’s almost as if they thought they had a choice, which is a downright ludicrous notion. God didn’t give them an alternative. He designed them to be war machines, and that’s exactly what they turned out to be.
I remember the one and only War Angel who came down to Earth with the Watchers. His name was Aiden, and he ended up marrying Lilly’s daughter, Caylin. Their firstborn was a girl they named Kate. She was the first in a long line of descendants who preceded my sister’s birth. Jess’ son, Luke, ended up marrying Kate. Their union joined the two bloodlines together for all eternity. I knew that would lead to trouble, and I suppose it did in a way. I wasn’t sure I would like Anna when I first met her, but I did. I can see a lot of similarities between us, even if she refuses to acknowledge them herself.
As I travel to the section of Hell where I placed the War Angels, I feel giddy with anticipation. One of them has a doozy of a secret to share with the others. It’s been like a boil on his soul, growing larger with the passage of time. I can’t wait to slice it open and let it ooze all over their brotherly love for one another. I want to see just how strong their bond actually is.
When I reach their location, I find them all standing together in a group, weapons at the ready, prepared to fight whatever I send their way. My attention is drawn to Cade first as he moves to stand between his brothers and me. He’s the only one of them who isn’t afraid of what I might say or do next. It’s not because he’s my soul mate and assumes I won’t single him out for his sins. It’s because he has nothing to hide or to be ashamed of, unlike some of his brothers behind him.
“Why have you separated us from the others, Helena?” Cade asks me in a voice that commands an answer.
“We may have a connection to one another,” I tell him tersely, “but that doesn’t give you the right to demand anything from me. While you’re in my home, you’ll mind your manners and abide by my rules
. Is that understood?”
“Hmph,” the angel named Xander says. “You’re going to stand there and give us a lecture about having good manners? That’s a bit hypocritical of you, isn’t it? You’re the one keeping Anna and Lucas down here against their will. No one has said it out loud yet, but I’m betting you blackmailed Anna into going along with this little game of yours. I know she wouldn’t agree to it unless she had no other option.”
“I wouldn’t call it blackmail,” I reply. “I simply gave her a choice. I could either kill all of you instantly or allow you to have a chance to earn her and Lucas’ freedom.”
“Would you have really done that?” Cade asks me, giving me those puppy-dog eyes of his. “Would you have killed us all just to prove a point to her?”
“In a heartbeat,” I tell him without hesitation.
He tilts his head as if he just noticed something about me. “You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not,” I protest, feeling sure I meant exactly what I said.
Cade stares at me hard before saying, “Yes, you are, but you don’t seem to know it because you’re even lying to yourself.”
“He’s right,” Ethan, the leader of the War Angels, says, coming to stand by his brother-in-arms. “I don’t think you would have killed us, or at least not all of us.”
“It doesn’t matter!” I reply, losing my temper as they play a semantics game. “The point still remains that I can kill all of you if I want to, but I won’t because Anna and I made a deal.”
“Then why did you split us up?” Cade asks again. “Was this a part of the deal you made with Anna?”
“Not specifically,” I admit. “But I didn’t allow for a negotiation on the details. The goal still remains the same. All of you must reach the castle and enter it to find Anna within the twenty-four-hour period I gave you. Like I said before, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you all have to come at the exact same time. I’m sure some of you will make it there before the others do.”
“What are your plans for us?” Gideon asks as he walks up to stand on the other side of Cade. “You must have separated us from the others for a reason.”
“I’m so glad you asked me that, Gideon. I think I have a way to help all of you get over this mental block you have about the war. Seriously, boys, why do you burden your souls with so much guilt? You did what you were told to do, nothing more. You really need to let go of all the baggage you keep carrying around with you. I mean, honestly, there are literally only two of you who have a real reason to feel any remorse about what you did back then.”
“Two of us?” Cade asks, perplexed. “What do you mean by that?”
I smile and look over his shoulder to find my first victim.
“Oh, Xander,” I call, drawing his name out as I address him. “We should work out your issues first, since they seem to cause you so much internal strife. Although I’m confused as to why you feel guilt over someone else’s treachery. It makes absolutely no sense.”
All of the War Angels turn their attention away from me and direct it toward Xander.
He looks around at his brothers uneasily.
“I don’t …” Xander begins to say, but I hold up a hand to stop him before he can refute what I’ve said.
“As they say,” I tell him, “a picture is worth a thousand words, and I can do one better than that.”
I change our surroundings to a human’s way of thinking about Heaven. I’m sure Anna is watching us, and I want to make sure she understands what she witnesses from her window. The ground is covered in a layer of puffy white clouds, and the sky is a baby blue color. As I look at the way the War Angels are dressed, I decide to add in an accessory that humans have associated with angels almost since the beginning of time. With a snap of my fingers, all of them instantly have large, black-and-white-feathered wings springing forth from their backs.
They all act surprised by their new appendages, but Cade is the only one who uses them to fly over to me.
“Why are you doing this, Helena?” he asks, searching my eyes for something he desperately wants to see: mercy.
“Because it’s who I am,” I tell him, feeling no shame in admitting it to him. “This is what I do. It’s all I know.”
“But it’s not all that you can be,” he argues. “You’re one of the most powerful beings in all of creation. What more could you possibly want?”
“I need for the universe to feel my pain,” I blurt out without even considering my words first.
“There’s more to life than pain,” he whispers. “If you would let go of this need you have to hurt others, I could show you another way to live.”
Cade looks at me—the promise of a better life naked in his eyes. If I reject who I am and follow him into the light of the future, we could build a life together that would rival the happiness Anna has built with Malcolm. The thought of outdoing my sister in such a way intrigues me, but only for a moment. If I give in to Cade’s request, I will end up losing who I am, and I’m not about to do that for anyone.
I hold out my hand and use my powers to propel Cade through the air, forcing him to go back to his brothers.
I return my attention to Xander.
With a twitch of my index finger in his direction, I pull him across the ground until he’s standing in front of me.
“Now,” I say, looking him up and down appraisingly, “why is it that you feel so much guilt, Xander?”
“I should have seen who he really was before it was too late,” he finally admits. I have a feeling it’s the first time he’s put his guilt into so many words. “If I had, I could have saved him.”
I let out a derisive laugh. “You angels and your incessant need to save people from themselves. Is that an angelic requirement or just an annoying trait?”
“We care about what happens to others,” Xander says as he looks at me with repugnance. “But I don’t think that’s something a creature like you would know much about.”
“Au contraire. I do know a little something about that, but I don’t let it control who I am or let it influence my life enough to make me self-destruct. Considering the fact that you’ve let yourself devolve into a sinner during the short time you’ve been on Earth, it’s amazing you can retain this self-righteous attitude of yours in front of me. Why don’t we show your brothers what’s really going on in that little brain of yours? I’m sure they would all like to know why you keep trying to find ways to forget who you are.”
I materialize the memory Xander has been trying to forget with his boozing and whoring on Earth. Since Heaven doesn’t allow for such things, I suppose he thought the sins of Earth could help him forget this moment from his past. It was an act that forged him into someone who would do anything in order to forget the first time he had to kill.
“You’ll have to excuse my need to embellish this scene. You see, I’m almost positive that Anna is watching this from her room, and I want to make sure she understands what she’s viewing. So I’ve taken a few liberties here and chosen a human form for Xander’s Vanguard mentor, Puriel.”
“Puriel?” I hear Zane, Xander’s true brother, ask as he looks at the memory I’ve reconstructed behind me. “What does he have to do with this?”
I can already tell by the guarded look on his face that he suspects what it is his brother has been hiding from them all these years.
Xander stares at my interpretation of the angel he looked up to at one time.
“That’s a very good question, Zane,” I praise sarcastically. “Why don’t we watch and see just why it is your brother keeps trying to forget this moment?”
I unfreeze the scene and stand back to watch.
“You can’t believe what you just said,” the Xander within the memory says to Puriel in disbelief.
“Yes.” Puriel nods with certainty. “I do. I believe Lucifer has been right all along. We’re fighting on the wrong side of this war, and we should join Lucifer’s rebellion before it’s too late.”
“You
know I can’t do that. It goes against everything I was made to believe in and fight for.”
Puriel places his hands on Xander’s shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes with the intensity only the mad have. “You are your own person. We were all created to believe that God is all-knowing, but we were also given free will. You can make up your own mind about what you should believe in.”
“I’m sorry, Puriel, but I have made up my mind,” Xander says. “I believe we should protect humanity from Lucifer and the others. Why do you believe we shouldn’t? I just don’t understand how you can be a member of the Vanguard and think this way. You were chosen by God Himself to defend humanity.”
“I’m tired of being brainwashed by Him,” Puriel says with pure venom. “Lucifer’s right: we rarely think for ourselves anymore. We just follow whatever He says without questioning His orders. It’s time we started thinking like individuals instead of just blindly following Him.”
“You’re speaking blasphemy,” Xander argues. “All He wants is peace. It’s Lucifer who has caused this war. You have to know he will never win. Why do you think God created my class of angel? We will win this war for Him. Don’t turn your back on us, Puriel. You’ll regret it.”
“Are you threatening me?” Puriel asks, his black wings flaring out on his back.
“I’m asking you to change your mind and see reason. If you join Lucifer’s side, you become my enemy, and I don’t want to lose you, my friend.”
Puriel calls his sword to his hand. “You’ve already lost me.”
With those words, he swiftly raises his sword against Xander. War Angels are known for their quick reflexes, and Xander proves he’s no exception to that rule. He calls his heavy flail to his own hand and knocks Puriel’s blade away from him.
“Stop this!” Xander pleads. “I don’t want to fight you!”