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by Amanda Torrey


  “I never got jealous when I was with my husband. I didn’t care if women hit on him. I didn’t even care when he hit on other women.”

  “I get jealous all the time. I can’t stand the fact that men check you out every time you’re in public.”

  “Really?” She nearly spilled her drink.

  “No commenting, remember?” His voice grew huskier.

  She didn’t miss the fact that his knee had moved closer to hers. It also didn’t escape her that her upper body turned and leaned toward his.

  “I can’t cook. At all. I burn everything I try to make.”

  “I can’t cook, either. My kids complain about everything. They prefer frozen pizza over homemade.”

  “I’m trying to change because I was never happy. I blame myself and my lousy personality.”

  “I don’t think you should change, because even though you’re a pain in the ass, I like you just the way you are.”

  “Not supposed to comment!” She protested. But her on-its-way-to-inebriated heart warmed at his compliment.

  “I wasn’t. That was my truth.”

  “Sounds like a loophole to me.” She stuck her tongue out at him, but smiled as she gulped down the next shot.

  She didn’t think she’d be able to stand up without falling over. She noticed he was filling the glasses a little less, but she wasn’t ready to argue with him about it.

  Without taking the time to think, Reed spoke her next truth.

  “When I first met you, I thought you were a not nice person. I wasn’t sure you’d be able to do the job. And I thought you were a terrible parent. I felt bad for your wife, even though I didn’t know she was dead.” Her words began to slur. She wasn’t much of a drinker, other than wine, and the alcohol was rushing straight to her head.

  “When I first met you, I thought you were the most uptight bitch I’d ever met. I thought you’d fail—that you couldn’t possibly make that old place work. I couldn’t understand why I was so attracted to you. You weren’t my type.” He shot back the glass, then filled his a little more. “Or so I thought.”

  Maybe the truth game was a bad idea. That kind of stung.

  She took a deep breath, then continued.

  “I was a passenger in a car crash while still in college. One of the passengers died because she wasn’t wearing a seat belt, and I blamed her for her own death.” Reed said, shame filling her at her youthful arrogance. She had lived as if she knew everything.

  “I permanently injured my leg while trying to save my wife from a building that had exploded. She died, and I cursed her.”

  Heroic! Not the cursing part, but, well, the rest.

  Extra shots were consumed.

  She gulped. Truth—it all had to come out. Even things she hadn’t confided to anyone. Ever.

  “The reason for my divorce was that my husband found out I was still using birth control when we were supposed to be trying to get pregnant. I wasn’t ready for kids, but didn’t know how to tell him.”

  Thank goodness for his non-reaction.

  “My wife was cheating on me before she died. I knew she was with her lover, so I hesitated before running into the building.”

  Her eyes filled with tears as he struggled to get the words out.

  She reached a hand out, resting it on his knee.

  “Do you want to stop?” she asked.

  “Hell, no.” He poured them each another shot. “This feels good. I’ll go again.”

  He placed the bottle back on the table and drew swirls on the back of her hand.

  “My youngest daughter isn’t mine. Biologically. My wife was still alive when I dragged her out of the building, and she confessed that the baby was her lover’s and she had been planning on leaving me. She knew her lover had died in the explosion, and she knew she wouldn’t make it. She begged me to be sure they saved the baby, and to raise her as my own.”

  “Oh my god, Rogan.” Tears streamed freely down her cheeks. She couldn’t even think of a truth that would compare to that.

  “Sitting with the baby in the NICU, I didn’t think I could do it. I couldn’t imagine raising this baby as my own, knowing her mother had fucked me over so badly. But when her little hand latched onto my finger, I knew there was no choice. I love her. Fully and unconditionally.”

  “Will you tell her the truth someday?”

  “Never. No one knows. The only two people who knew, besides me, died that day. I don’t want to mar the image of my kids’ mother, even though the town knew about her infidelity. Besides, her lover was my old boss’s little pet—some tough kid he had picked up off the streets to reform. No way would I turn my sweet Ivy over to that guy’s family—people who threw their own kid out when he was a teen. Oh, and I got fired because I couldn’t save him, by the way, so I say we shoot a double.”

  Reed put her shot glass on the table, then shimmied over to Rogan. She pulled his head to her chest, smoothing his hair and kissing his head.

  “You are a good man.”

  He laughed, then pulled away. Disappointment flooded her, but after setting his shot glass on the table next to hers, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him.

  “You are a good man,” Reed repeated. “Truth is, I could tell how wonderful you are from the very beginning.”

  “I seem to remember you telling me otherwise.”

  “Okay, maybe not as soon as I met you. But as soon as I got past my initial prejudice.”

  She hiccupped.

  “This isn’t the alcohol talking. You are the kind of man every woman secretly hopes to meet. I even like it when you open doors for me.”

  She looked up at his scruffy jaw.

  “I always thought that was a kind of ridiculous,” hiccup, “tradition. But now I like it. I like it when it’s you.”

  He ran his hand down her arm. She shivered, huddling closer to him.

  “Ready for another truth?” she asked him, pulling away so she could refill their glasses. Her hands shook and her vision blurred, so she spilled more liquor on the table than in the glasses.

  Rogan laughed and took the bottle from her.

  “I think it’s best if I continue to be the bartender.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up.”

  He pushed her back into her seat. “Don’t worry about it, Reed.”

  “I like the way you say my name.”

  “Is that your truth?”

  “No. I mean, it’s the truth, but it’s not the one I meant to say.” She lowered her head as she started chuckling uncontrollably.

  “I love your laugh,” Rogan said, lifting her chin with his finger.

  She studied his face for what seemed like a long time. The rum had made her limbs feel loose and jumpy, and she had the urge to do something crazy.

  “My ex hated my laugh. He said I sounded like a hyena.”

  “Your ex is a moron.”

  He lowered his hand to her thigh. She wanted him to make a move.

  “You’re not wearing your ring.” She smiled.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “I want to kiss you.” She leaned forward, flinging her arms around his neck. “That’s my truth.”

  “I want to kiss you, too.”

  She felt like the heroine in that romance novel must have felt when he finally captured her lips and made them his.

  She pressed herself against him, then moved her legs to straddle him. He leaned back against the couch, rubbing his hands over her back, her hips. When he reached her butt, he pulled her tighter, and she cradled his erection. As the kiss intensified, she moved against him with vigor she didn’t know she was capable of. When had she turned into such a horndog?

  She had always complied with the twice per week expectation in her marriage, but she had never felt this intense drive—this need. Rogan was powerful. Like a superhero.

  She didn’t want to just get it over with. She wanted to savor. To be savored. To indulge.

  “I want you,” she whisp
ered against his lips.

  He groaned and deepened the kiss.

  She laughed as he flipped her over onto her back and climbed on top of her.

  He lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. She laughed at his nerve. He fumbled to release the hook on her bra, and she laughed harder when she had to break it to him that the release was in the front.

  “Why do they make these things so complicated?” he asked, flicking it open with one hand.

  He kissed his way around her shoulders, her chest, the slight curve of her breast. She gripped his hair when his tongue began to flick at her nipple, stirring up sensations that made her want to command him to enter her right that second.

  His free hand moved to her yoga pants. He traced the waistline, tickling her, teasing her.

  She came to her senses when his fingers delved lower.

  “Wait.” Her voice was breathless—so unlike her own.

  He kissed a trail back to her ear, where he nibbled gently, sending electricity throughout every nerve ending in her body. She lifted her hips, encouraging his exploration.

  “You want me to wait?” His warm breath in her ear was nearly her undoing.

  “No. Yes. We need to discuss this.”

  “What’s there to discuss?”

  “There are rules.”

  He pulled his hand away, repositioning it on her ribcage.

  “Are you not ready for this?”

  “Oh, I am,” she rushed to say.

  She pulled him to her lips, eagerly losing herself in his kiss. She blamed the alcohol for making her feel so lusty, but she knew she was fooling herself. She had wanted him for too long.

  He had taken off his wedding ring.

  His kids were gone for the night.

  What reason did she have not to follow through with what her body demanded?

  He pulled away, struggling to stand. He pushed his hand through his hair, visibly shaken.

  “Are you okay?”

  He nodded, but his breathing hadn’t steadied.

  Reed grabbed a throw pillow and held it in front of her chest, not wanting to be exposed.

  She didn’t know what was going on with him, but she had a feeling he was battling wounds even deeper than hers.

  He turned to her, held out his hand, and said, “Come on. I have an idea.”

  Taking a leap of faith, she allowed him to pull her up, holding on for dear life as the room spun all around.

  “Remember when you asked me if the Springs really healed?”

  She nodded and blinked, trying to get the room to stay still. She kissed his shoulder. Couldn’t help it. It looked too delicious, even with the cotton T-shirt covering the muscles beneath.

  “Let’s go find out.”

  “Now?” Her face lit up. Sounded like exactly the kind of adventure she never would have taken in her old life.

  “What better time than the present?”

  He pulled her bra closed. “This is not what I want to be doing, you know. Covering these gems.”

  She laughed. “They’re hardly gems. Maybe little pebbles.”

  “Oh, no.” He cupped her covered breasts in his hands, making them seem even smaller in his big, rough grip. “They are perfection. Beautiful. Works of art, really.”

  He kissed the tops of her breasts. She sighed.

  “I hear your heart beating,” Rogan said, pressing his ear against her chest.

  She held his head there, stroking his silky hair.

  “You’re the one responsible for the thundering,” she told him. “Please kiss me again.”

  He obliged. She had wondered if his attraction toward her had dimmed, but when he pulled her hips closer, she realized it was as strong as ever.

  “Come on. Let’s go get ourselves healed.” He cleared his throat. “Before I change my mind.”

  He picked up her shirt and helped her get it over her head. They slipped into shoes and hurried outside.

  “We can’t drive,” Reed reminded him.

  “It’s okay. The Springs are a five minute walk from here. We have to slip through the woods. Veterans guard the Springs during the day, but at night we can sneak over the fence.”

  She giggled, excitement bubbling up and out.

  “This is crazy.” But she didn’t argue against it.

  She held his hand as he led her down a path, through the woods, with only a small flashlight illuminating the way. She felt like a teenager sneaking around with her current flame. She felt free, light, unencumbered by responsibility. Unconcerned with reputation.

  Enlightened in a way she had never been.

  “I’ll boost you up.” Rogan wove his hands together, gesturing for her to step into them.

  She did as requested, hoisting herself up and over the fence.

  “What about your leg?”

  He ignored her, jumping up and using his upper body strength to get over.

  “That was impressive.”

  He pulled her close, kissing her again. Something about the woods, the moonlight, and his intoxicating presence had her thinking she could live in this moment forever.

  “Ready?”

  “Ready.”

  “We’re going in.”

  “Let’s do it.” She wouldn’t turn back. Fear for the unknown only drove her forward.

  “This doesn’t look like anything mystical. Just looks like a regular river,” Reed remarked. What had she been hoping to see?

  “It is a regular river.” Sparks of glee danced in his eyes. “The water collection area is downstream. But this is the deepest part, so the perfect place for our baptism.”

  She whipped her clothes off, staring at him as he did the same. She gulped when he removed his pants—she had never seen a more amazing vision. Rogan. Naked.

  He should be damn proud of that package.

  “Stop looking at me like that.” He stepped closer, his raging erection leading the way.

  “Or what?”

  “Or this.”

  Without warning, he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the riverbank.

  She held on tight, enjoying the ride, but marveling that he could lift her so effortlessly.

  He put her down at the edge of the water. She shivered at the rush of cold water on her feet and the slight wind that blew at that precise moment, tickling her naked bits.

  “We’re bad, bad people.” Reed smiled.

  “Yup. Maybe.”

  “Mostly me. You’re just, well, unlucky.”

  She felt him looking at her, but she didn’t turn fully toward him. Though the alcohol acted as a truth serum, she knew the truth even without imbibing. He wasn’t bad. Far from it.

  “Ready?” he asked, holding her hand, standing beside her.

  “Ready,” she affirmed.

  And then they plunged in.

  He splashed her when her head emerged from the frigid water.

  “Why is it so cold?” Her teeth chattered. She wrapped her arms around herself.

  “It’s New Hampshire, love. The water is always cold. It comes down from the mountains.”

  “You could have warned me.”

  “I thought you were more daring than that…”

  He allowed his voice to trail off, knowing full well she’d rise to the bait. She couldn’t disappoint him.

  “You bet I’m daring.” She splashed water back at him, then fought against the current to get back to him.

  “I’m surprised the water isn’t too cold for you.” She reached below the water to capture him in her hands.

  “Under normal circumstances, it probably would be. But with the hot Miss Reed? Not a chance of shriveling.”

  She laughed, surprising herself with the guttural sound.

  “I have to say, when I first met you I never would have imagined you’d be holding my balls in the palm of your hand.”

  She squeezed him gently, throwing her head back in laughter. He kissed her neck, licking a trail to her collarbone, then her shoulder. His hand sq
ueezed her hip, forcing her to arch into him. His erection found her warmth, and appeared to be requesting an invitation in.

  “Rogan…”

  “Mmhmm,” he murmured as he nuzzled her neck, working his way up to her ear.

  “I want this. I really do,” she groaned as he nipped her neck again.

  His erection probed. She swayed in the water, fighting the current of the river and her self-doubts.

  “You know what? Let’s just do it,” she said.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, throwing all of her rules, her plans, her thoughts down the stream. Maybe this was what it meant to be healed.

  “You sure?” He stood to his full height, looking her in the eye, searching for answers.

  Seeing his compassion, his concern, made her want him even more.

  She kissed him in reply. The hottest, deepest, most passionate kiss she had ever experienced.

  She didn’t know if she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist or if he lifted her, but one way or the other, that’s the position she found herself in.

  That was also the position the police found them in.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The flashing blue lights lit the area as they struggled to retrieve their clothing. Rogan growled at the officer, demanding that he turn around so Reed could get dressed privately. The officer responded that if they wanted privacy, they should have stayed home. But he turned around.

  “I’m sorry,” Rogan whispered to Reed as he helped her back into her twisted shirt.

  She giggled—the sound so young, so light, so unlike the Reed he had first met.

  “Sorry? This is the most excitement I’ve had since moving out of the city. And even there I only witnessed it.”

  “The most excitement, huh?” He glanced over his shoulder to be sure the officer was still looking away, then pushed his still throbbing erection toward her.

  “Really? The police didn’t chase that away?”

  “You want it away?”

  “No.” She looked at his chest, biting her lip. “I’m kind of impressed that he’s not shy.”

  “He got a little nervous for a minute there. But he can’t resist being this close to you.”

  “Hurry up down there or I’ll drag you in naked.”

  The officer’s shout had them rushing to finish getting dressed.

 

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