He didn’t say anything. She shut her eyes and tried to slip behind the icy barrier that had been keeping her safe, but he’d put too many cracks in it. “Please, Alex,” she whispered brokenly. “Please let me go.”
His voice was barely audible. “Is that what you really want?”
She nodded.
She had never thought she’d see him look defeated, but at that moment some internal spark seemed to be extinguished. “All right,” he said hoarsely. “I’ll do what you want.”
A spasm of anguish ripped through her as she realized it was finally over, and she stifled a sob as he rose to his feet. If this was what she wanted, why was it so painful?
Off to the side a shadow moved, but both Daisy and Alex were too absorbed in their own misery to notice that their most private conversation had been overheard.
24
“Alex!”
His head shot up from the stake driver’s engine as he heard Daisy’s voice calling out to him and sounding exactly the way it used to. Hope surged through him. Maybe time hadn’t run out for him after all. Maybe she hadn’t meant what she’d said two nights ago, and he’d no longer have to put her on a plane for New York that very afternoon.
He threw down the wrench he’d been using and turned to face her, only to have his hope fade as he saw the expression on her face.
“Sinjun’s gone! They’ve unloaded all the animals, and he isn’t there. Trey’s missing, too.”
Brady came around from behind the stake driver where he’d been trying to help Alex. “Sheba’s behind this. I’d bet anything.”
Daisy’s face paled with anxiety. “Did she say something to you?”
“No, but she’s been a bitch on wheels these last couple of days.”
Daisy looked at Alex, and for the first time since he’d found her at the zoo, he felt as if she were really seeing him. “Did you know about this?”
“No. She didn’t tell me anything.”
“She knows how you feel about that tiger,” Brady said. “My guess is that she’s sold him behind your back.”
“But she can’t do that. He’s mine!” She bit her lip, as if she realized that what she’d said wasn’t true.
“I tried to find Sheba earlier,” Brady said, “but she hasn’t shown up yet. Shorty drove her RV, but her car’s missing.”
Daisy clenched her fists. “She’s done something terrible with him. I know it.”
Alex wanted to reassure her, but he suspected she was right. “I’ll make some calls and see what I can find out. Why don’t the two of you go talk to the workers and see if of them know anything?”
But no one did. For the next two hours, they spoke with everyone in the circus, only to discover that Sheba hadn’t been seen since the previous evening.
Daisy grew increasingly frantic. Where was Sinjun? What had Sheba done with him? She’d learned enough about the market for aging circus animals to realize that the chances of a reputable zoo taking him were slim. What was going to happen to her tiger?
The time came and passed for her to leave for the airport. Alex had insisted she go to her father’s until she decided what she wanted to do, but now there was no question of her leaving. She ignored the pearl gray Lexus with its Connecticut license plates—another of Alex’s guilt offerings—sat on the tailgate of the old black pickup that had carried her on her summer’s journey of the soul to this bleak October night. From there, she watched the lot.
The first performance ended and then the second. The last of the crowd filed out. This was the circus’s final two-night stay before they reached Tampa. Once again the workers had set off for town, taking along some of the showgirls and leaving the lot with a deserted feeling. She was cold, but she waited until Alex had changed out of his costume and gone to check on Misha before she returned to the trailer.
Her suitcase lay abandoned on the bed. She walked past it and removed his old gray sweatshirt from a wall hook. After slipping into it, she began to go back outside only to hesitate in front of the shabby, built-in chest where Alex kept his clothes. Squatting down, she opened the bottom drawer and moved his jeans out of the way so she could see what she knew was hidden behind them: a cheap blue plastic rattle, a yellow duck, a child’s box of animal crackers, a bib stamped with a picture of a rabbit, a paperback copy of Dr. Spock.
She’d discovered these things a few days ago when she was putting away some clothes, but Alex had never mentioned them. Now she touched the rattle with the tip of her finger and tried to understand why he had them. If only she could believe—
No. She couldn’t let herself think that way. She had too much at stake.
She shoved the door closed and was on her way back to the truck when she saw Sheba’s Cadillac parked near her RV and heard angry voices coming from inside the big top. Alex had also heard them, and they began running in the same direction. They met up at the back door.
“Maybe you’d better stay here,” he said.
She ignored him and rushed inside.
The big top was dimly lit by a single work light that threw shadows from the rigging over the arena while it left the periphery in darkness. She was enveloped by the familiar scents of sawdust, animals, and old popcorn. How she was going to miss this, she thought.
Brady and Sheba stood just outside the ring. Brady had her by the arm, and he was clearly furious. “Daisy’s never done one damned thing to you, but you still had to go after her, didn’t you?”
Sheba jerked away from him. “I do what I want, and no butcher’s son’s going to boss me around.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of being a bitch?”
Whatever response Sheba had been about to make died on her lips. “Well, well, look who’s joined the party.”
Daisy rushed forward to confront her. “What have you done with Sinjun?”
She took her time answering—playing her mind games, dangling her power over them. “Sinjun’s getting ready to leave for his new home. Siberian tigers are very valuable animals, did you know that? Even old ones.” She sat down on the front row of seats and crossed her legs in a posture that was almost too casual. “Even I didn’t realize how much certain people would pay for them.”
“What people?” Alex demanded, coming to a stop next to Daisy. “Who has him?”
“Nobody yet. The gentleman won’t be picking him up until tomorrow morning.”
“Then where are you keeping him?”
“He’s safe. Trey’s with him.”
Alex lost patience. “Cut the crap! Who did you sell him to?”
“There were several people interested, but Rex Webley offered me the best price.”
“Jesus.” The expression on Alex’s face sent chills down Daisy’s spine.
“Who’s Rex Webley?” she asked.
Before Sheba could reply, Alex interrupted. “Don’t say a word, Sheba. This is just between you and me.”
Sheba gave him a condescending look before turning back to Daisy. “Webley runs a hunting park in Texas.”
Daisy didn’t understand. “A hunting park?”
“Men pay Webley to hunt the animals he buys,” Brady said with disgust.
Daisy looked from Sheba to Brady. “Hunt them? But nobody can hunt tigers. They’re an endangered species.”
Sheba rose and wandered into the center of the arena. “Which makes them all the more valuable to rich men who’ve gotten bored hunting ordinary game and aren’t worried about legalities.”
As what she was saying sank in, Daisy’s voice caught on a bubble of fear. “You sold Sinjun to be stalked and killed?”
Her mind reeled with terrible images. Sinjun didn’t have a normal tiger’s fear of people. He wouldn’t realize the men coming at him with guns wanted to hurt him. She saw his body jerking as the bullets hit him. She saw him lying on the ground, his orange-and-brown striped coat streaked with blood, and she whirled on Sheba.
“I won’t let you do this! I’ll go to the authorities. They’ll put a stop to it.”
“No, they won’t,” Sheba replied. “There’s nothing illegal about selling a tiger. Webley told me he’s going to exhibit Sinjun at his hunting ranch. That’s not against the law.”
“Except he’s not going to exhibit him, is he? He’s going to let him be killed.” Daisy felt as if she were choking. “I’ll go to the authorities. I will. They’ll put a stop to this.”
“I doubt it,” Sheba said. “Webley’s been getting around the law for years. Someone would have to testify that they actually saw the kill, and that’s not likely to happen. Besides, it would be too late by then, wouldn’t it?”
Daisy had never felt such hatred for another human being. “How can you do something like this? If you hate me so much, why didn’t you just come after me? Why did you have to go after Sinjun?”
Alex moved into the center of the ring with her. “I’ll pay you twice what Webley offered.”
“This time your money’s worthless, Alex. You’re not buying Sinjun like you did Glenna. I made it a condition of the sale.”
Daisy’s head shot up. Alex hadn’t told her he’d bought Glenna. She’d known he was the one who’d arranged for her to go to the Brookfield Zoo, but she hadn’t realized his money had made it possible. The gorilla had ended up in her spacious new home because of him.
“You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?” he said.
“Webley’s people won’t be picking Sinjun up until dawn.” Her expression grew sly. “I don’t sign the final papers till then, and I could always change my mind.”
Alex’s quiet whisper was barely audible. “Now we get to the heart of it, don’t we, Sheba?”
Sheba gazed over at Daisy, who was still standing outside the ring with Brady. “You’d like that wouldn’t you, Daisy? If I stopped all this. I can do it, you know. With one phone call.”
“Of course, you can,” Alex murmured. “And what do I have to do to get you to make that phone call?”
Sheba turned to face him, and it was as if Brady and Daisy had disappeared, leaving only the two of them to confront each other in the center ring they had both been born to. She closed the small distance that remained between them, moving sinuously, almost like a lover, except there was no love between them. “You know what you have to do.”
“Spell it out.”
Sheba turned toward Daisy and Brady. “The two of you have to leave us alone. This is between Alex and me.”
Brady exploded. “This is bullshit, is what it is! If I knew this was what you were up to, I swear to God, I’d of beat the crap out of you!”
His bluster left her unmoved. “If you and Daisy don’t get out of here, that’ll be the end of the tiger.”
“Go on,” Alex said. “Do what she wants.”
Brady looked as if he’d lost everything he’d believed in, and his voice grew bitter as he turned to Alex. “Don’t you let her cut your balls off. She’ll try, but don’t you dare let her do that.”
“I don’t intend to,” he said quietly.
Daisy threw an imploring look at him, but he was concentrating on Sheba, and he didn’t notice.
“Come on, Daisy. Let’s get out of here.” Brady wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her toward the back door. These past few months had taught her how to fight and she started to resist, but then she realized that Alex was Sinjun’s only hope.
Once outside, she took a deep gulp of the chilly night air, and her teeth began to chatter. Brady hugged her and whispered, “I’m sorry, Daisy. I didn’t think she’d go this far.”
From inside, they heard Alex’s scornful voice, only slightly muffled by the nylon sides of the big top. “You’re a real businesswoman, Sheba. If you sell Sinjun to me I’ll make it worth your while. All you have to do is name your price.”
Both she and Brady stood rooted to the spot, knowing they should leave but unable to. Then Brady grasped her hand and pulled her into the shadows by the back door, where they couldn’t be seen but had a partial view of the center ring.
She saw Sheba stroke Alex’s arm. “It’s not your money I want. You should know that. It’s your pride.”
He pulled himself away, as if he couldn’t bear her touch. “What the hell does that mean?”
“If you want that tiger back, you’re going to have to beg me for him.”
“You go to hell.”
“The great Alex Markov is going to have to get on his knees and beg.”
“I’d die first.”
“You won’t do it?”
“Not in a million years.” He splayed his hands on his hips. “You can do whatever you want with that damned tiger, but I’m not getting on my knees for you or anybody.”
“I’m surprised. I guess I thought you’d do anything for that little simp. I should have known that you don’t really love her.” For a moment she looked up into the shadows of the rigging, then she returned her attention to him. “I suspected it all along, and I guess I should have followed my instincts. How could you love her? You’re too damned coldhearted to love anybody.”
“You don’t know the first thing about the feelings I have for Daisy.”
“I know that you don’t love her enough to get on your knees and beg for her.” She regarded him smugly. “So I win. I guess I win either way.”
“You’re crazy.”
“And you’re smart to refuse. I got on my knees once for love, and I don’t recommend it.”
“Jesus, Sheba. Don’t do this.”
Her voice lost its taunting quality. “I have to. Nobody humiliates Sheba Quest and gets away with it. And either way, you’re going to be the loser today. Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider?”
“I’m sure.”
At that moment Daisy knew she’d lost Sinjun. Alex wasn’t put together like other men. He was held together by steel and grit and pride. If he demeaned himself, it would destroy the man he was. Bowing her head, she tried to turn away, but Brady blocked her path.
Alex spoke in tight, hard tones. “You know what the irony in all this is. Daisy’d do it. She wouldn’t even think twice about it.” He gave a rough bark of laughter that bore no trace of humor. “She’d be on her knees in a second because she’s got a heart beating inside her that’s strong enough to take on the world. She doesn’t care about honor or pride or anything else when the well-being of the creatures she loves is a stake.”
“So what?” Sheba sneered. “This isn’t about Daisy. It’s about you. What’s it going to be, Alex? Your pride or the tiger? Are you going to lay it all out for love, or are you going to hold on to everything that’s important to you?”
There was a long silence. Tears had begun to stream down Daisy’s face, and she knew she had to get away. She pulled back from Brady, then froze as she heard his angry sputter.
“That son of a bitch.”
She whirled back and saw Alex still standing in front of Sheba with his head high. But his knees were beginning to bend. Those mighty Romanov knees. Those proud Markov knees. Slowly, he sank down into the sawdust, but at the same time, she knew she had never seen him look more arrogant, more unyielding.
“Beg me,” Sheba whispered.
“No!” The word was ripped from Daisy’s chest. She wouldn’t let Sheba do this to him, not even for Sinjun! What good would it do to save one magnificent tiger if she destroyed the other? She ran through the back door and into the arena, kicking up sawdust as she flew toward Alex. When she got there, she caught him by the arm and tried to drag him to his feet.
“Get up, Alex! Don’t do this! Don’t let her do this to you.”
He didn’t take his eyes off Sheba Quest. They burned. “It’s like you once said, Daisy. Nobody else can demean me. I can only demean myself.”
He turned his face upward, and his mouth tightened with scorn. Although he was on his knees, he had never looked more glorious. He was every inch the czar. The king of the center ring. “I’m begging you, Sheba,” he said flatly. “Don’t let anything happen to that tiger.”
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Daisy’s hand convulsed around his arm, and she dropped to her knees beside him.
Brady made a sharp exclamation.
And Sheba Quest’s mouth curled in a crooked smile. The expression that came over her face was a queer combination of wonder and satisfaction. “Son of a bitch. You really do love her after all.”
She looked down at Daisy, kneeling next to him in the sawdust. “In case you still haven’t figured it out, he loves you. Your tiger will be back in the morning, and you can thank me anytime. Now, do I have to paint another picture for you, or do you think you can take it from here by yourself without screwing up?”
Daisy stared at her, swallowed, and nodded.
“Good. Because I’m getting sick and tired of everyone in this circus moping around worrying about you.”
Brady started cussing.
Alex’s eyes narrowed.
And Sheba Quest, the queen of the center ring, swept past all three of them, head high, bright auburn hair flying like a circus banner.
Brady caught up with her just before she got to the back door, but before he could speak, she turned on him and jabbed him in the chest as hard as she could with her index finger.
“Don’t you ever again say that I’m not a good person!”
Slowly a smile replaced the look of shock on his face. Without a word, he bent down, drove his shoulder into her belly, and carried her out of the top.
Daisy shook her head in bewilderment and gazed at Alex as they knelt together in the sawdust. “Sheba set all this up. She knew Brady and I wouldn’t be able to resist eavesdropping. She understood how I felt, and she set this up so I’d believe you really loved me.”
His eyes flicked over her, and they were as hard as amber and coldly furious. “Not another word.”
She opened her mouth.
“Not a word!”
His pride had been badly battered, and he wasn’t taking this at all well. She knew she had to act quickly. After everything they’d been through, she wasn’t going to lose him now.
With all her might, she shoved against his chest. She caught him by surprise, and he sprawled backward into the sawdust. Before he could right himself, she threw her body on top of his.
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