She took another swig from her glass. “So, how is your new job going?” she asked. “Are you settling in?”
“Yes, thank you. It is very good. Everyone is so nice.”
The conversation died off for the rest of the meal. When he finally finished his fettuccini, and Zoe her second drink, she was hoping the date would be over and so would her obligation to her mother. She anxiously glanced around until she caught the waiter’s attention.
When he noticed her, he gave her the head tilt and approached their table.
“Will there be anything else for you?” he asked very slowly and a few decibels too loud, like that somehow makes English easier to understand.
While Taichi’s accent was strong, his English was impeccable. Zoe almost took offense on his behalf at the waiter’s assumption. But if her date noticed the unintentional slight, his manners were impeccable too, because he answered politely enough.
“Yes, please. I had my eye on the chocolate cake.”
“Cer-tain-ly!” He turned to Zoe, and even though she’d ordered in a perfect American accent, he spoke the same way. “And for you, madam?”
“Make that two. And another glass of wine, please.”
“You like chocolate too? We have that in common,” Taichi noted with delight, as though that would have been a deal breaker.
She’d forgotten how boring dates could be. Then again, she’d been spending a lot of time with Levi lately. One could even consider some of those encounters as dates, if one wanted to—which she most certainly did not. And at no time would she consider their interactions boring.
But Zoe wasn’t on a date with Levi—not that she wanted to be. In fact, they hadn’t spoken since she left him on the carousel on Pier 39 the day before. No, she was on a date with Taichi Kimura, and because she’d promised her mother she would consider him as a potential husband, she put thoughts of the rock star aside.
But the nonexistent small talk was slowly eating away at her sense of propriety. It may have been a first date, but Zoe didn’t like to waste her time. Besides, they both knew why they were there. What was the point in dancing around the subject? Or maybe that was her third glass of wine talking.
“Tell me, Taichi,” she said. “Why did you agree to this date?”
“I’m new to town. I thought it would be nice to meet someone and get to know you. Your mother said you were beautiful, but her description didn’t do you justice.”
“Thank you.” She smiled. “But you’re aware of both our mothers’ intentions, are you not? Of the arranged marriage?”
“I am,” he said blankly.
“And you still came?”
“You came as well,” he indicated her thereness with a hand gesture, but she knew he understood what she was getting at.
“Touché, I guess.” She frowned into her empty glass. “I’m just trying to understand. You’re coming to America, land of the free. I assume you want to live here because of the lifestyle, the freedom of choice.”
“That is one of the reasons.”
“Doesn’t that include the freedom to choose your own wife?” She was afraid she was being too blunt, considering they’d just met, so she tried to explain. “Being from a younger generation, I’m surprised you would consider such a traditional arrangement.”
“It’s true, I enjoy many things about America and look forward to many years discovering it. However, who better to do it with than someone who understands me and my own culture as well as this one?”
Even to her fuzzy, wine-befuddled brain, his succinct answer surprised her. It actually made a lot of sense. “But why me? I’m more American than Japanese. Not to mention I’m brash, I’m blunt, I swear too much, and I’m stubborn. Don’t expect a docile, subservient wife.”
What was she saying? He shouldn’t expect anything, because it wasn’t like she was going to marry the guy. Maybe it was her fight about marriage with Levi that had started her thinking. Or maybe it was running into Sean so unexpectedly after all these years, but she wanted to know what Taichi saw in her that was worth marrying, even if he’d only just met her. What did he see that Sean didn’t? That—if Levi was right—she didn’t see? Was she marriage material?
“In all your mother’s descriptions of you, she never said you were docile.” Taichi chuckled good-humoredly. “You know who you are. You are independent. I like that. We are just two similarly minded people that are willing to come together and form a mutually beneficial union. I’m simply looking for someone to enjoy my life with. So why not you?” he asked simply.
Thankfully, the waiter came with their dessert, preventing her from having to respond.
Why not? That was a good question. Zoe certainly thought she was a great catch. But marriage material?
Taichi seemed perfectly pleasant, mild mannered, and polite. She could never see him mistreating her—mainly because she could kick his ass if he did.
As she stared at him over her new glass of wine, he certainly looked attractive enough. And to have someone to lie next to every night meant no more vibrators for her.
Scratch that, she thought. Of course there would be vibrators. It only makes things more interesting.
An arranged marriage seemed a lot less messy than hopping back into the dating-scene again. It made her cringe to think of the uncertainty of it all, the self-consciousness, the doubts, all to possibly end up left at the altar again. Taichi, on the other hand, was a sure thing. He already knew he wanted to marry her.
Taichi dug into his chocolate cake. “Why are you considering an arranged marriage?” he asked. “As you say, you are more American than Japanese.”
Zoe’s own candidness suddenly turned around and bit her right in the butt.
A week ago, she would have laughed at the question. Her? Consider marriage? Ha! She’d never have thought it possible. Not until she’d met Levi, until he’d made it impossible not to take a good hard look at the choice she was making to be alone.
He’d made her think about things, feel things she never thought she would again. Things she’d put behind her a long time ago. Or at least, she’d thought she had.
But Levi only wanted to date her. There was still that uncertainty, the unknown if it would all fall apart one day. Levi was a wild card. Whereas Taichi was a safe bet.
She recalled the way that Levi looked at her on the carousel the day before. He’d asked her What do you want? And quite frankly, she didn’t know anymore.
Levi had been questioning her, pushing her to explore her beliefs over the last two weeks, but she couldn’t run away from that question anymore. Not seated across from a man who could be her fiancé.
Taichi was giving her his time, his honesty, and candidness about marriage. She owed it to him to be honest. With him and with herself.
“I guess,” she said, “because it would be nice to have someone there by my side. Someone to share my day with that could do more than just bark. Someone to wake up next to every day that didn’t have doggy breath. Someone who could be an equal partner.”
And there it was. The truth. Maybe she didn’t have everything she needed. Maybe she wasn’t entirely sold on being alone forever, just her and Freddy. As she thought more and more about it, there were a lot of holes in her life that a dog just couldn’t fill. But was Taichi the man to fill them?
“Those are good reasons,” he nodded affably. “Partnership, dependability, mutual respect.”
Smiling, she tucked into her dessert, allowing herself to really enjoy the date for the first time that evening.
Was she seriously thinking about it? Maybe everyone was right. Maybe even Levi was right. Life was too short. It was too short to be alone, too short to spend it hiding her heart away.
Later that night, she got home and crawled into her empty bed. And when she cuddled up next to Freddy and her Fuzzy Friends, she knew for certain it just wasn’t enough anymore.
The only remaining question was, who was the right person? The man she knew would never
break her heart, but at the same time might not ever make it whole again? Or was it the man who had found the opening to her heart, who had the potential to fill it again, but could also leave it shattered?
21
Singing a Different Tune
The warm scent of gourmet food and the comforting undertones of fish wrapped around Zoe like a blanket. It reminded her of her childhood, since it had always been her mother’s go-to dish. Her mother said it brought back memories of her own childhood growing up in Uji.
Today, however, Zoe didn’t find it comforting enough. She paced back and forth nervously in the empty restaurant. Of course, part of her was concerned with Piper and Aiden’s upcoming wedding. What if the food wasn’t spectacular enough? What if they didn’t like the dishes Chef Glazier had prepared? Enough had already gone wrong with her wedding plans. But at the moment, all she could seem to worry about is whether or not Levi would show.
Zoe had invited him to the lunch the caterer was preparing as a sampling for Piper and Aiden’s wedding. She’d been thinking about him ever since her date on Friday night. About the things she’d said to him on the pier, how angry she’d gotten. When all he’d said was the truth.
She wanted to apologize in person, but she wasn’t sure he’d show up since he never texted back. So she paced back and forth in the reception area while the servers set up their table for nine, worrying he wouldn’t show.
Maybe he didn’t want to hear her apology. Or worse. What if he simply didn’t care?
She began to make a list, putting her worries about the day in order.
Will Levi show?
Will he forgive me?
Does he still want to date me?
Do I want to date him?
Would I marry Taichi?
Do I want to get married at all?
Ever since her fight with Levi, or maybe since her date with Taichi, she’d realized just how much of an influence Levi was on her. Even in the two short weeks they’d known each other. She just didn’t know what that meant yet.
The front door opened. Street noises filtered in as someone entered. When she turned, she was able to cross one worry off her list.
“Levi.”
“Hi.” He stood in the doorway, as though unsure whether to come in. But at least he’d come that far. And he’d even cleaned up for the brunch with a shirt and tie—not tucked in, but somehow it just worked for the rocker.
“I’m glad you came,” she said.
“Free food? I can’t say no to that.” He shrugged, but it wasn’t with his usual no big deal attitude. “How was your weekend?”
“Busy. I had a Pure Pleasure Party last night with twenty guests.” She waved that conversation away for later. She hated delaying things with idle chit-chat. She wanted to get to the heart of it.
“Look. I want to apologize for the other day. I didn’t like what you had to say so I got defensive and took it out on you. I guess I’m used to dishing it out, just not receiving it.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry for what I said.” He took a hesitant step inside.
“Don’t be,” she said. “Don’t ever be sorry for being honest with me. Because you were right. Maybe I am afraid to let people in. To let them get too close.” The words hurt to admit out loud, but she also felt lighter, her bottle a little emptier.
“I get it,” he said. “You were hurt. And you’re scared it’s going to happen again.”
“I guess, I’m starting to realize that being alone might not be the answer. You always say that life is too short. But maybe it’s also too long to spend alone.”
“It’s also a long time to spend with the wrong person, trust me.” He laughed, glancing down at his shoes. “I guess that makes me scared of choosing the wrong person again.”
Zoe’s chest felt like a corset had just been tightened around it, squeezing. Her breath whooshed out. Did that mean he now thought of her as the wrong person? She certainly wouldn’t blame him after how she reacted on the carousel. Did she want to be the right person?
She thought back to her date with Taichi and their conversation. “How do you know? Who’s the right one?”
“I guess that’s the hard part. You don’t know. You just do your best to keep your eyes wide open, but also your heart.” He looked away for a few seconds, as though thinking. “It’s like when the band and I jam. We just pick up our instruments and start to play.”
“Play what?”
“Anything. Random notes, tones, riffs. You just hope it all harmonizes together. The drums, the base, the keyboard, the lead guitar. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn’t. But when it does, it’s a real hit. And you’ll never know unless you take chances.”
She nodded, understanding where he was going. “Grab life by the balls.”
He smiled, really smiled like he usually did with her. “Yeah.”
Zoe hesitated. She wanted to say more, something about him. About them. But she didn’t know what or where to start. She couldn’t even understand her own feelings right now. How was she supposed to explain them?
The front door opened again, and she lost her chance as Piper and Aiden walked in.
“Hey. Sorry we’re late,” Piper said. “We got stuck in traffic.”
“That’s okay,” Zoe said. “The food is just coming out as we speak.”
Obviously Levi liked what Zoe had to say because he stayed. They gathered around the only table set in the restaurant. While the place normally didn’t open until five, apparently they did private meals—if you’re Aiden Caldwell, that is.
Not long after, they were joined by Addison, Felix, and Naia. When Bob and Marilyn showed up, the soup was served.
Now that they were all seated around the table, their group felt whole. Zoe thought it was nice of Aiden to pay for the extra settings so they could still be together, even if it wasn’t their usual Sunday pancake brunch.
Their group was certainly getting larger than it used to be. All her favorite women were paired off and in happy relationships. And to Zoe’s surprise, she even had her own plus one for once. Well, sort of. It wasn’t really a date. But Zoe had never really had any men in her life to bring around her friends. And come to think of it, was Levi even “in her life?” And was that what she wanted?
Levi reached for his water and caught her eye. She quickly glanced away. She hadn’t even realized she’d been staring at him. But then she looked around and realized that everyone else was staring at them.
It felt juvenile, like they were all a bunch of awkward teenagers standing in the halls at school, trying to act cool but being so damned obvious about what they were really thinking.
Zoe rolled her eyes and dug into her appetizer, and yet, something like a high school girly giggle bubbled up inside her.
“So tell me, Levi,” Aiden said. “Are weddings big business for live bands these days?”
“It’s not too bad. Not steady work, but with other weekend events and gigs at the local bars, we’re almost full time.” He reached for a butternut squash tart. “We’re actually booked to do a week-long tour around California this week. I leave tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Zoe nearly dropped her tart. She tried to rearrange her surprised features into one of mere interest. She recalled Levi mentioning something about the tour to Holly Hart.
Levi ate his appetizer like he didn’t hear her anxiety. “We’re starting in Sacramento and working our way down to San Diego. Don’t worry. We’ll be back in town for a gig Friday night, so it won’t interfere with the wedding. And of course,” he told Zoe, “you can continue to use my place to work.”
Surprisingly, that wasn’t Zoe’s first concern. In fact, instead of the wedding being her first thought, it was about him. She wondered if they’d be able to talk about things a little more before then. Or maybe time away from him was what she needed. Time to think.
“You’re the lead singer of the band, right?” Addison asked, although she knew that perfectly well by now.
N
ext to her, Felix’s eyebrows rose in appreciation. “Wow, that must get you lots of”—he hesitated, suddenly remembering his audience—“gigs,” he finished lamely.
He flinched, and Zoe assumed it was because Addison just kicked him under the table.
“Maybe I should hire you guys to play at my pub,” he said to cover it up.
“That would be cool,” Levi said. “I do a lot of solo stuff too, even for the fancy events. Soirees, fundraisers, black-tie events, that kind of thing. I know a lot of classical and jazz standards. Apparently I make good background noise.”
This got a chuckle out of everyone around the table. Zoe most of all.
“I can’t see you blending into the background,” she said.
The laughing stopped and everyone stared at her like she’d just done a backflip.
But Levi didn’t seem to notice. He gave her a familiar look. And then it struck her. His looks were starting to become familiar to her. That was something new.
“Hey,” he said. “I can behave myself, you know. I clean up pretty good too.”
“Oh, I remember.” But when she tried to recall how he looked at Juliet’s wedding the day they met, her mind automatically produced the memory of him with nothing but a dress shirt on. And from there she tried to imagine what he looked like beneath it, as she’d been doing a lot ever since.
His eyes were smiling, like they were sharing some kind of inside joke. Was it her imagination, or was he thinking about the same moment?
When she finally looked away, there were more familiar looks, but from her friends this time. Could they be any more obvious?
Zoe felt like throwing one of her salad croutons at them, but then she would be stooping to their level of immaturity. So instead, she settled for sticking her tongue out at them when Levi wasn’t looking.
Addison set her glass down with a bang. Everyone jumped and turned to her. “Why do you want to date our Zoe?”
Zoe gasped, her mouth dropping. “Addison!”
“What?” she said like an innocent angel. “Normally you’d be the one asking the blunt questions, so someone’s gotta.”
“Because she’s a great catch,” Levi said, not skipping a beat. “But I don’t think I need to tell her best friends why she’s amazing.”
A Wedding Tail Page 24