He blows out a line of smoke. “Your angelic image was tarnished far before you ever accepted my help. You and I aren’t so different, Lily. We both enjoy an unhealthy amount of co—”
I throw a pillow at him and he catches it with his free hand, trying to protect his cigarette. Some things haven’t changed after I was outed as a sex addict. Sebastian is still Sebastian. And apparently he’s seen enough rich kid debauchery that my secret was hardly anything riveting. His words.
So I called him to bring over old exams for all my finals, and he hasn’t stared at me any differently than before the scandal. Which is kinda nice.
The front door bangs open.
I hurriedly shuffle the old exams into a pile. My head whips around, trying to find a good hiding place. I lift up the sofa cushion and stuff them under it.
When I meet Sebastian’s gaze, he looks like he could rip out my jugular for putting his old exams with the dust bunnies and rusted pennies. Oops.
Connor’s voice echoes from the kitchen. “We can keep brainstorming. We’ll come up with something, Lo.” They must be discussing the start-up company that Lo has to pitch to his father. He has a couple days left to choose a platform, and he enlisted Connor’s expertise. They spent all morning at a meeting to throw around ideas—and when I say “meeting,” I mean they sat in Starbucks.
They both saunter into the living room, Connor carrying a tray of coffees and a small pastry. “I thought you could use some test-taking boosts,” he tells me. Oh, this is why I love Connor Cobalt as a tutor. I beam, but that falls suddenly at the realization that I’m (A) Lying to him. (B) Cheating. (C) Team Sebastian. (D) Accepting the treats despite all of the above.
I say thanks and scoop the whipped cream from the coffee with my finger. Sin does taste delicious.
Lo stands off to the side, busily texting on his phone. Six days have passed since our bathroom fight over my self-love, and he has yet to forgive me completely. Our fights used to revolve around our addictions—sometimes we’d just drown in them for an extended week, ignoring each other. But this is a real, normal fight that hurts more than I ever thought it would.
“Lo, did you come up with any good ideas for the company?” I ask. I offered to help, but every time I suggested something, he told me to focus on my health. I grab the chocolate-filled croissant on the table and tear off small pieces to eat. I dunk a portion in my coffee.
Lo acknowledges me, and his eyes lighten when he sees me eating. “The top choice is a food truck.” He doesn’t look enthusiastic about that idea.
I take a slurp from my coffee. “You have more time,” I remind him. “It’s not over until the fat lady sings…” I narrow my eyes. No that’s not right. “Well, in this case the fat lady would be your father.”
He smiles, and he must catch the momentary lapse of happiness towards me because his lips downturn quickly. He closes off the conversation with the shift of his body.
We’re still fighting apparently.
“Where’s Rose?” Sebastian asks, lighting another cigarette.
Connor stares at it, letting irritation cross his face, his chest inflating with a deep inhale. “She’s taking a final, and you shouldn’t be smoking in here.”
“And yet…” Sebastian blows out a short puff. “I am.”
Lo’s phone rings, and he slips into the kitchen to answer his cell.
Connor steps towards Sebastian, and my evil tutor suddenly springs from his chair, both guys standing their ground with superiority. They each believe they’re better than the other. I’m not accustomed to intellectual stand-offs.
Sebastian appraises the cigarette in his fingers. “She hardly cares if I smoke, you know. If you did it, she’d drop you like she did her last boyfriend. She found a pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket. Next day, he was gone. Lasted one taxingly long week.”
“You planted the cigarettes on him, didn’t you?”
Sebastian takes a long drag and breathes the smoke right into Connor’s face. “Perceptive.”
Connor doesn’t even flinch. “Maybe you should be.”
Sebastian lets out a laugh. “You don’t think I am? I know that Rose has spent almost no time with you since Calloway Couture has suffered. I know that she cried on my shoulder two nights ago, not yours. I know that she called me, not you, to help pack up her office.”
She already started boxing her workplace?
“You feel threatened by me,” Connor states, stepping forward so only a small space separates his body from Sebastian’s. Connor has the height advantage—he usually does.
“By Connor Cobalt? A guy who is willing to sell out anyone if the benefit weighs on his side. No, I am not threatened by you. I just hate you.” Sebastian gives him a long once over. “Rose always did too. I don’t know what you said that changed her mind.”
“She never hated me,” Connor says casually.
“She bitched about you all the time in prep school. She’d return from Model UN, and I’d have to listen to her drone on about how Richard made a treaty against her country’s best interests. How Richard won the highest honor for countering terrorist actions.” Model UN sounds mildly intense and slightly scary.
“For such a smart guy, you really know nothing,” Connor says, his voice even-tempered. “She liked me, Sebastian. She bitched to you because she was attracted to me, a guy that riled her more than placated her, and that pissed her off.” Connor steals the cigarette from his fingers. “And if you truly cared for that girl, you’d realize that every time you smoke in this house, you set off her OCD.”
Sebastian’s lip twitches.
“You didn’t know that, did you?” Connor says. “While she cries on your shoulder about her company, yesterday she stayed the night at my apartment. And I spent four fucking hours calming her down because you put wild ideas in her head. You smoke, you mess with her things, and you return her to me restless. She paces back and forth, muttering idioms that make no sense, and I have to figure out how to put her back together. You are not a friend to her; you’re a parasite.”
I drop my pastry on my lap.
Sebastian is left speechless, his lips pressed tightly together.
Connor won this round. But when Rose enters the mix, I just hope he’s able to win the whole battle.
After Connor snuffs out the cigarette on his empty cup, he masterfully bottles his annoyance towards Sebastian, and his eyes fall to the scattered scantrons. “You should be taking those in a quiet testing environment, preferably somewhere clean.” His collects the gum wrappers, and Sebastian’s crinkled magazines, tossing them in a nearby trash bin.
“She’s fine,” Sebastian says, finding his voice again.
“What are you even doing here?” Connor asks. “If Lily’s taking her finals, she doesn’t need to be tutored anymore.”
“I’m monitoring the exams so she doesn’t cheat,” he lies. I want to snort, given the fact that minutes ago he offered to bubble-in my finals for me.
“I can do that,” Connor says. “Go propagate cancer somewhere else.” He takes a seat next to me—right on the same cushion where I buried the tests.
I hear the crunch and the crackle of papers, muffled but still distinguishable. I close my eyes and count to five in my head. This cannot be happening.
“Lily,” Connor says tensely, “am I sitting on porn?”
What?! I open one eye and meet Connor’s gaze. I expect him to be calm in the normal I’m-Connor-Cobalt-and-I-don’t-show-real-emotions kind of way. Instead, he wears disappointment fairly well. This is the moment where I can either out myself as a somewhat-cheater or take the hit for stashing porn. There’s no contest.
I spent days without self-love or any kind of sex from Lo, trying desperately to return to good faith with him. All of that will be squandered in one moment if he thinks it’s dirty mags. And I’m so sick of lying.
“It’s not porn,” I confess.
Connor stands and lifts up the cushion. He stares at the papers, the top
exam with a random name (Jeremy Gore) and a letter grade (A-).
He shakes his head. “I knew it,” he says rather calmly, adding all the pieces together so easily. Must be a smart-person trait. I bet Sherlock Holmes was a certified genius.
Sebastian rolls his eyes and takes out his phone, as if this is all very dull for him, but I imagine that Connor has him shaking internally, a few more moves away from dethroning him in Rose’s life.
I gather up the tests before Connor tries to toss them out. I still have finals to take. “I can explain,” I say as I straighten out the papers on my lap.
He returns the cushion to its original state, and before I can offer an explanation, the front door swings open.
“Just because the bike can reach a hundred-fifty, doesn’t mean you should go that fucking fast. You nearly cut off a car behind you.”
“You’re exaggerating,” Daisy says.
“He honked at you.”
“Or he honked at you. You were riding my brake lights.”
“I was ten fucking feet behind you, and next time, I’m taking you to a race track.”
“Really?” I can hear the smile behind the word.
“Yeah, if you want to fucking kill yourself, at least you won’t cause a five-car pileup while you’re doing it.”
When they walk into the living room, Daisy is smiling from ear to ear. Both carry motorcycle helmets under their arms, reminding me that Ryke agreed to Daisy’s offer. About a week ago, he told her he would keep the black Ducati in return for teaching her how to ride safely, which must be a hard job with Daisy as a pupil.
“You were supposed to tutor her,” Connor says to Sebastian, actual anger seething in his eyes. It’s kind of terrifying.
Ryke and Daisy go quiet by the staircase, realizing they walked in on a…situation.
Sebastian pockets his phone in his blazer. “You and I both know that one is a lost cause. I did her a favor.”
“She doesn’t need another handout.” He invades Sebastian’s space again. “You’re a lazy sanctimonious prick who profits off of apathetic trust fund babies. The students who need those exams are the ones who can’t afford them. You knowingly perpetuate a repugnant cycle.” He stares at him like he’s shit on the bottom of his shoe. “You keep the rich kids stupid and the poor kids poor.”
“What’s going on?” Rose’s voice ices the entire room.
No one moves. She stands near Daisy and Ryke, who must have left the front door open. No one heard her walk in.
Sebastian slips out of Connor’s blockade. “I caught your boyfriend smoking that.” He points to the snuffed cigarette on the coffee cup. “And then he accused me of helping Lily cheat.”
Connor looks like he could kick Sebastian’s ass. And that face—one of pure venom—does not come often. Or at least, I’ve rarely seen it since we’ve been friends.
Rose glances at Ryke and Daisy for verification.
“We just got here,” Daisy says.
Ryke is not about to vouch for Connor either. They’re not the best of friends since their personalities clash more than compliment.
Rose doesn’t even ask me whether or not Sebastian helped me cheat or if Connor smoked all those cigarettes. I guess she won’t trust my answer anyway, even if I give her the right one.
But I have to try. “I did cheat,” I tell her in a high voice.
She ignores me. So much for honesty.
My sister approaches both guys and rests her hands on her hips, looking between them. Connor stares at her with such intensity, basically speaking through his soul-bearing eyes.
Rose engages with him, not able to tear away.
Sebastian panics and places a hand on her shoulder. “Rose, he’s manipulating you. It’s what he does.”
Rose flinches.
“Don’t doubt yourself,” Connor tells her. “Not for this guy, not for anyone.”
Rose wavers.
“Think about it,” Connor says. “You told me he’s profited off of selling old tests before.”
“The cigarettes—”
“You have known me for almost ten years. I have held you in my arms. I have kissed you. Have you ever smelled smoke on me before?”
Sebastian cuts in, “Rose, he convinced Brad to forfeit his Lambda Kai presidency so someone else could take the position. He can make people do things they would never do.”
Connor stares down at her. “I would never manipulate you.” But he doesn’t deny that he’s done it before, that he uses whatever power he has to get what he wants. I always knew Connor did things for his benefit, not out of the kindness of his heart, but hearing it from someone else, well, it makes it real.
Sebastian says, “He dated Hayley Jacobs just so her father would write him a recommendation to Wharton. He’s with you because of your name. How many times do I have tell you that?”
Rose’s eyes narrow at Connor. “Did my father write you a recommendation?”
“He offered, yes.”
“And you accepted?”
He says nothing.
“Unbelievable.” Her face twists like he stomped on her heart. I rise, about to go to her side. But I hesitate as she points a finger at Connor. “You came with me to my parent’s Sunday luncheons because you were trying to worm your way into my father’s good graces.”
“No, I came with you because you’re my girlfriend,” he says, stepping closer to her.
She raises her chin, which starts to quiver despite her strength. “I trusted you. And all this time—”
“I have never lied to you,” he says. “You know more about my life than anyone else. I don’t share things willingly, you know this about me. Why would I let you in?”
Rose whispers, “You’re playing with my head.”
“No,” he says again, forcefully so that she understands. “He is.”
Sebastian’s fingers dig deeper in her shoulder. “You’ve known me since we were children. I only have your best interest, Rose.”
But her eyes stay glued to Connor.
“Rose,” Connor says with such empathy, gazing at her with passion that nearly stops my heart. “You know me.”
She takes a deep breath. “That’s just it Connor, I don’t think I do. I don’t think anyone really does.”
Sebastian begins to smile, and Connor looks about ready to scream.
Rose adds, “I want you to leave.”
I can’t tell who she directs this to until Sebastian’s smile fades completely. “Rose, didn’t you hear—”
“I heard you,” she says. “I hear you talk badly about Connor every time I’m with you, and while I agree he’s not the most forthcoming human being when it comes to his personal life, he’s still my boyfriend. I would never allow Lily to cheat. I hate that you smoke. And I’m not going to take your suggestion to quit Calloway Couture. I’m going to unpack my office. I’m going to fight for my company. I’m going to do whatever it takes, and I’m going to stop listening to you tell me that I can’t beat these odds.”
Go Rose. I think we’re all smiling. Except for Sebastian.
He shakes his head at her. “I’ll call you tomorrow when you’re not being so bitchy.”
“You won’t,” she says. “I’m blocking your number. You’re not to see me or talk to me. I never want to hear from you again.”
His mouth falls. “You would listen to him? Rose, I’ve known you longer.”
“He knows me better.”
Sebastian just keeps shaking his head.
Rose glances at Connor, her shoulders locked tight. “Can you please get him out of the house? I need to go…” Her eyes flit away, looking for her room as though it’s vanished.
“Of course,” he says easily. His hand falls to the small of her back, and he whispers something in her ear before kissing her deeply. She returns the affection, but there’s sadness in her eyes that wasn’t there before—the stress of everything weighing on her. And I have a feeling Sebastian has added to it every single day.
When they part, Rose turns to me. And my guards rise. Oh no. She’s going to yell at me for cheating. I open my mouth, about to let out a string of sincere apologies, but her arms fling around my shoulders and she pulls me into a big, sisterly hug. One that she rarely gives, even when she’s in a good mood.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers in my ear. “I love you.” I feel her tears on my shoulder. “I’m here if you need me now. I promise.”
I don’t think I deserve this. I ruined her company, but at the same time, I am overwhelmed at having my sister’s support again. She’s my biggest and best cheerleader.
So I hug back. I want to ask if she’ll be okay with all of the Connor and Sebastian stuff, but she places a kiss on my cheek and spins towards her bedroom on the main floor.
Connor watches her carefully, and Rose meets his gaze for a single second, brushing her tears off her face. I think they can read each other’s minds or something because he nods to her and she nods back and disappears.
Connor guides Sebastian towards the exit.
Sebastian’s eyes flicker to the exams on my lap.
“You’re not getting them back,” Connor tells him.
“You know,” Sebastian says, “I hope you break her heart. She deserves what’s coming to her.”
“So do you,” Connor says, slamming the door on Sebastian’s face.
When the tension begins to eke out of the living room, Ryke says, “Well I fucking learned something today.” His lips rise. “Connor has balls.”
Connor takes a breath and any anxiety or anger disappears like the wind, undetectable by the average human eye. “Glad I could entertain you.” His eyes flicker between the hallway where Rose disappeared down and me.
He chooses me, which only puts a larger pit in my stomach. He stands in front of the couch, his hands slipping in his slacks.
“Do you really see me as an apathetic trust fund baby?” I ask, remembering some of the insults that inadvertently flew my way. I have been lazy and uncaring towards college. I should have tried harder.
“Technically you don’t have a trust fund anymore,” Connor tells me. His words don’t lift my spirits, and I don’t deserve a brightened day. I’m at fault here. “You should have told me you were cheating when I asked.”
Addicted for Now (Addicted Series 2) Page 38