by Ruby Vincent
“Okay, class,” Biedermeier said after giving up on his pointed look. “Open your textbooks to chapter twelve on radioactive decay. We’re going to pick up where we left off yester—”
Ding. Ding. Ding.
The intercom went off, signaling an announcement.
“Be quiet, everyone,” said Biedermeier. “Pay attention.”
A hush fell over the room as we heard a slight crackle, then a low thump, thump, thump.
I scrunched up my face, straining to listen.
Then the moaning started.
“Oh, yes. Right there. Harder.”
Thump! Thump! Thump!
The thumping got louder and so did the moaning. I threw Christian a wide-eyed look as I realized what we were listening to. Whispers broke out around us as familiarity nagged at me. That voice...
Biedermeier shot up from his seat. “Settle down! The office will shut this off and when we find out who is responsible—”
“Yes, Noah! Fuck me harder!”
A low groan seeped through the speakers and spread through the entire school. “No, call me Mr. Biedermeier.”
Every head jerked toward the front. My jaw fell open as the blood drained from my chemistry teacher’s face.
“I’ve been a bad girl, Mr. Biedermeier.”
“Bad girls get punished, Xenia.”
Xenia?!
“They get put in detention,” was his husky reply.
“Punish me—”
The intercom abruptly cut off and a thick silence pervaded the room. No one said a word, but all the faces around me held the same expression as we gazed at Biedermeier.
He took one look around the room...
...then he bolted.
Biedermeier ripped open the door and tore out of class. We heard the pounding of his feet until the door swung shut.
Chapter Fifteen
“Can you believe it?” Estelle said under her breath. She stuck her textbook in her locker and took out her lunch.
I shook my head, still in a daze. “I heard it and I still can’t believe it.”
“Did he really run out of the room?”
“Yep. He didn’t say a word. He just flew out of there like the cops were on his tail.”
She snorted. “I bet they are.”
I lowered my voice, although I didn’t know why I bothered when the whole school was talking about the same thing. “Do you really think he’ll be arrested?”
“Xenia’s eighteen,” she said, matching my volume. “Maybe he won’t be thrown in jail, but he’s fired for sure. But then, I guess it depends on how long he’s been giving her detention.”
I shuddered. All I could see was Mr. Biedermeier. My teacher since freshman year. A man I thought I liked, sweating and grunting over Xenia while they played their naughty teacher-student games.
“They should have canceled school,” Estelle went on. She closed up her locker and we took off for the lunchroom. “I doubt anyone’s learned a single equation all day.”
I had to agree. After Mr. Biedermeier ran out, Principal Davis burst into the room with his toupee askew and his tie over his shoulder. He found us in near chaos, going off about Xenia and Biedermeier. He was forced to take over the class and made us all copy from the textbook until the bell rang. The rest of my classes were just as useless. No one could concentrate on the busy work our teacher gave us. By lunchtime, I wanted to cut out and get away from this whole mess.
I wonder where Xenia is. Wonder what’s going to happen to her.
“I never thought I’d feel bad for Xenia,” I remarked as we joined the lunch line. Estelle hung with me even though she had her food. “No way was that an accident. I wonder who would do that to her.”
She shrugged. “Doesn’t Biedermeier have a wife? Maybe she found out and wanted to bring him down hard. Either way, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer girl.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t think about this anymore. “Let’s talk about something else. Want to sleep over at my place this weekend?”
“I’ll probably go back to Ryan’s place after Milton’s party. The guy’s parents are never home. I can sleep over tonight, but won’t my spot be occupied?”
I rolled my eyes at the suggestion in her tone. “Hi, do you remember me? I’m the girl who got pregnant at sixteen. If my parents have so much as a nightmare that Christian and I are together, they’ll kill him and get me to bury the body. We’re not doing anything while they’re in the house.” I cringed. “We were so close to getting caught this morning. I can’t even think about what would have happened if I didn’t wake up in time.”
I took down a tray loaded with pizza, peaches, and fries and handed over my money. I bumped into her as we headed for our new table. “Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself. Truth is, I want to jump him every time I see him. I need you there to make sure I behave myself.”
“That’s ’cause you’re a little minx!” Estelle attacked me, tickling my sides until I squealed
“No tickling! That’s off-limits.”
“Yes, tickling.” Liam waggled his eyebrows at us. “Throw in some pillow fights and skimpy shorts while you’re at it.”
“Liam, you’re gross.” I threw a fry at him. It bounced off his forehead onto the table and the guys laughed.
Liam glanced at Geo. “Nothing, man? That doesn’t even get a smile from you? What’s going on?”
Geo shrugged. His head hung over his untouched food.
I took my seat next to Christian. My seat. I liked that it was a given that this chair was mine.
I settled in and Christian took my seat and pulled it closer to him. He draped his arm around the back of my chair.
“You guys hear about that stuff with Xenia and Biedermeier?”
Jace lifted his head from his book. “The whole school heard it, dude.”
“No, not that. I heard Davis called the cops.”
“Seriously?” asked Theo.
We abandoned our food and leaned in for the latest gossip. Liam bobbed his head. He looked pleased at being the center of attention. “And he called Xenia’s parents.”
Ryan hissed. “She’s in the shit now.”
“Is she?” I piped up. “I mean, her parents might go off, but I don’t think Davis can do anything to her.”
“Yeah,” Liam said, a smirk bared his gleaming canines. “Except give her detention.”
Estelle shook her head. “You just couldn’t resist, could you?”
“Nope.”
She sighed. “But it’s not what they’ll do. It’s what the rest of the class will do. Xenia is never going to live this down. She’s in for hell this year. Her days of being queen bee number two are over.”
That was true.
It didn’t matter what her parents or the principal did. It wouldn’t come close to what she was in for with the rest of the student body. I spent two years as their favorite target. They were vicious.
I glanced at Christian. At least those days are over now.
It was sitting there looking all smooth and inviting, so I didn’t stop myself from leaning in and kissing his cheek. He turned his head and kissed me flat out.
“Oh ho, what’s this?”
We broke apart.
Liam folded his arm. “Why didn’t you say, man? So you two are going out?”
“Ye—”
“No.”
The smile froze on my face. What did he say?
“We’re not going out, Liam,” Christian continued. “Don’t be an idiot. You know I don’t do girlfriends.”
Liam held his hands in surrender and went back to his food.
I didn’t.
I didn’t move. I didn’t breathe.
No? What did he mean no?
Slowly, I turned my head to face Christian.
He took one look at me and dropped his hand. “Rachel? What’s wrong?”
I shoved my chair back so roughly it toppled to the floor. It barely registered as I made for the door as f
ast as I could.
“Rachel!”
My eyes were stinging. There was a tightness in my chest constricting with every step.
Don’t cry here. Get out. Don’t let him see you cry.
“Rachel, stop!”
I heard him break into a run. I escaped the lunchroom and burst into the empty hallway. My eyes lit on the girls’ bathroom and I made a run for it.
“Bryant!”
A hand grabbed mine and spun me around.
“Get off!” I tore out of his grip.
“What is wrong with you?” he hissed. “Is this because of what I said to Liam?”
I glared at him, chest heaving. I let my silence be the reply.
He cursed. “You can’t be serious, Rachel. I never said we were going out. Everyone knows I don’t get into relationships.”
“My mistake.” The first tear fell and I roughly wiped it away. “That rule applies to your random skanks. I stupidly thought I wasn’t one.”
He bit his lip, looking frustrated. “Rachel, please don’t make this a big deal. It’s just—”
“Just what? Just sex,” I cried. “Is that what you were going to say? That it doesn’t mean anything?”
“No, I— I didn’t say that! Will you listen to me? We can still hang out and be together. I don’t have to be your boyfriend to do it.”
My eyes swam with tears. One blink and they spilled down my cheeks. “So I am one of your random hookups.”
“No!”
I took a step, closing the distance between us. “How? How is this different from what you did with Madison or Carrie or Britta or Natalia or—”
His face twisted with every name. “Rachel, stop. You know you’re not them.”
“Are you saying I’m special? That our little arrangement would be different?”
His eyes swept my face. He was silent for so long I thought he wouldn’t answer. “Yes.” The anguish read on his face as the words were pulled out of him. “I am.”
I nodded as I placed my hand on his cheek. “I know, Christian. I know there’s more to us. I know you feel something for me. Yesterday—last night—it was real and you felt it too.” I stepped back, letting my hand fall to my side. “But you’re a coward.”
He jerked. “What?”
“You heard me.” My tears still fell but inside the well was drying. Coldness pierced my heart and the pain of it poured from my lips. “You’re a coward, Christian Moreau, and you always have been. Two years ago, you lashed out and tried to break me, your best friend, instead of calling me on my bullshit.” I threw out my hands. “We’ve been playing this stupid seduction game when you could have told me your feelings changed from the beginning. And now, when we can finally have something, you run away,” I spat. “Because you’re a fucking coward.”
“Argh!”
I screamed as he swung, slamming his fist into the locker behind me. I stepped back, a thread of fear overcoming me. “Don’t put this on me,” he snarled. “I don’t do girlfriends! That doesn’t change. So yes, you were stupid to think the rules didn’t apply to you.”
My face fell. A thousand replies sprang to my lips, but I couldn’t speak for the lump lodged in my throat.
I ran.
Sobs choked me. It was like I had been punched in the stomach. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see for the tears in my eyes.
“Fuck!”
The locker groaned under a second assault.
I kept running, stumbling past three people who had emerged from the principal’s office and most likely witnessed the entire awful scene.
Xenia’s red, puffy eyes held no more emotion when they met mine. They trailed me as I ran past her.
I had to get out of here. I needed to be as far from Christian Moreau as possible. Whatever I thought we had was a fantasy. Christian would never be anything other than the boy who kept breaking my heart.
IN THE END, CLASSES were canceled. The police were called and everything was shut down while they interviewed people and looked into who was behind blasting the tape over the intercom. I didn’t care why. I was just glad to get out of that school.
Estelle ran to catch up to me. “Rachel, wait. Wait! It’s not like you can leave without me; I’m driving!”
I pulled up on the bottom step of the school. Out of breath, she stopped next to me and put her head on my shoulder. “What happened?”
“Can we not talk about it here? This place is cursed.”
She squeezed my arm. “How about the ravine?”
Memories of rolling in the grass flooded my mind. “No, not there.”
“Then your place. I’ll sleep over.”
I nodded instead of speaking.
Estelle didn’t push me to talk on the ride home. She let me sit, staring at the window, while I tried to figure out how I went from blissfully happy this morning to feeling like a pile of steaming crap.
She stopped the car in front of my driveway. “I’ll go home, get my stuff, and be back in thirty minutes.”
I said okay and climbed out.
“Mom?” I called after shutting the door.
“I’m in here.”
I stuck my head into the living room.
“Mom, Estelle is going to sleep over tonight.”
She lifted her head from the laptop, a frown marring her face. “That’s the first I’ve heard of this.”
“We just decided to twenty minutes ago.”
“You decided?” Mom set her computer on the couch and got to her feet. “Rachel, I like Estelle, but you girls should ask before you make plans like this.”
I felt a niggle of irritation. “Mom, she sleeps over all the time and I’ve never had to ask. Why is it a problem now?”
“It’s not a problem for her to sleep over. It’s a problem for you not to ask if she can sleep over. It’s important that we set boundaries—”
“Boundaries?”
“—and this is one. In the future, ask before you invite Estelle over.”
“Ugh.” The groan exploded out of me, fed by the negative emotions bubbling and boiling inside. “Fine, Mom. Whatever.”
Mom’s brows snapped together. “Rachel, when you take that tone, I feel disrespected.”
“You know what, when you open your mouth and your therapist comes out, I feel annoyed! Why can’t you talk to me like a normal person?”
Mom looked surprised at my outburst, but that emotion paled in comparison to her displeasure. “Do not speak to me like that. I’m still your mother.”
I threw up my hands. “Just forget it.” Spinning on my heels, I took off and marched up the steps.
“Rachel, wait.” Her footsteps sounded behind me. “Rachel, come back! I know it’s a difficult process, but these techniques are to help us communicate—to have more effective discussions.”
The well spilled over. Anger bubbling, boiling, churning inside of me, surged through my body and seized my tongue.
“What discussions, Mom?” I cried. “You and I haven’t had a real conversation in months!” I turned on the steps, facing her down. “All that therapy stuff makes it sound like we’re being open, but really we’re saying a lot without saying anything at all.”
“That’s not true.” Mom looked stricken. “We have real conversations.”
“No, we don’t. We don’t talk about your problems with Dad or the non-stop arguing. We don’t talk about the problems I had at school since I got pregnant. Actually, we don’t talk about me getting pregnant at all!” The words fell from my lips unbidden, but now that they were coming, they couldn’t be stopped. “You remember Gavin? Your grandson? You haven’t said his name since we drove away from the hospital!”
Mom blurred, growing vague and undefined through my tears. I roughly wiped them away.
“Nothing in my life is real! All anyone does is pretend!”
With that, I raced up the stairs and locked myself in my room. Mom shouted and pounded on the door, but I ignored her as I buried myself in the pillows, breathi
ng in the scent of green apples.
“RACHEL?”
I looked up from my laptop.
“It’s me, babe. Let me in.”
I stood and opened the door for Estelle.
“Are you okay?” she asked as I went back to my computer. “Your mom said you weren’t feeling well.”
“I wasn’t,” I said blankly. “I’m glad she let you stay though.”
“She said you needed someone to talk to. So what happened today? You and Christian stormed out of lunch and didn’t come back.”
“We got into a fight.” I plugged in my camera and brought up my photos. Estelle didn’t speak, no doubt waiting for me to continue, but I kept my eyes glued to the screen.
“Did you fight about him saying you weren’t together?”
“Yes.”
Click. Click. Click, click, click.
“What are you doing?” Estelle picked herself off the bed and peered over my shoulder. “Rachel!”
“What?” I snapped as I deleted every single stinkin’ picture of Christian Moreau. “I don’t know why I took the damn things in the first place.”
Click. Click.
“Babe, stop.” I yelped as my desk chair went swinging around. Estelle stopped me and propped herself up on the chair arms. “Talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” My voice was thick with unshed tears, but unshed was how they would stay. I wasn’t wasting anymore tears on him. “I thought we connected yesterday—that we had something real. He thought I was another hookup.”
She looked at me in disbelief. “Is that what he said?”
“What else am I?” I could hear the bitterness in my tone. “He doesn’t do girlfriends, Estelle.”
“But, babe.” She gently brushed the hair from my forehead. “You knew that.”
“I know! I know that— I just—” My face crumpled. “I thought I was different. I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot.” Estelle grabbed my arms and pulled me up. I fell into her hug. “He’s the idiot for not seeing how lucky he is that you want to be with him. You’re literally the best. If I was into chicks, it would be on.”