by Ml Rodriguez
“Faith, God has given you a second chance at happiness. Don’t throw that away by being afraid. You need to tell him and the sooner the better. He won’t leave, but you have to tell him soon. Don’t keep it from him because that’ll piss him off. You need to live your life to the fullest because you know better than most how quickly it can be gone. Be happy. Be happy for you, your girls, and Zane.”
She always knows how to help me. She’s been with me through everything. I pray one day she finds the “happily ever after” she deserves.
“I love you, Julia. You’ve always been there for me when I need you most, even when it’s to find the perfect date dress.” I finally find the dress. “I found it and you’re right. It’s sexy, classy, and backless. Thanks, darlin.’”
“Enough, you’re gonna make me cry and I’m an ugly crier. Go get dressed and wear your Louboutin nude heels—the super-expensive but bought-on-sale hooker heels you love. Have an amazin’ and orgasmic date with your hot and sexy man, you lucky bitch. I’ll call you when I get to Dallas, and I love you too, babe.” She says and then hangs up the phone.
I head to the bathroom to shower and get ready for my date with Zane.
Tonight is going to be epic.
Zane
Tonight, I have the perfect date planned. I’ve gone all out, asking my mother and Jackie for advice and I know Faith will love it. Hopefully, we’ll soon be able to take our relationship to the next level, but surprisingly, that doesn’t really matter to me. I’ve waiting years and I’ll continue to wait forever for her, as long as I’m with her because she’s worth it.
Tonight, is going to be perfect—nothing can go wrong.
Two and a half hours later, I look at myself in my full-length mirror. My hair is in a simple and elegant high ponytail that works well with my wavy hair. I put on my nude-colored pearl earrings and finish off with my pearl bracelet. My smoky brown eyes are lined with black eye liner that really showcases my eyes, and my lips are the same exact shade of red as my dress. I searched high and low for that shade and all that hard work is paying off tonight … my lips look amazing and hopefully irresistibly kissable.
I look pretty darn good, if I say so myself.
Satisfied, I grab my nude Hermes clutch, another sale bargain that was expensive but a good investment for my wardrobe. I look at the clock. Only a few minutes before Zane’s supposed to be here to pick me up. As I’m walking down the stairs, the doorbell rings and I rush to answer, thinking Zane is early. I throw open the door.
Standing outside my door is Gunner.
“Gunner! What are you doin’ here?” I ask, surprised he’s here at my house.
He’s supposed to be overseas doing security for Gabriel, my brother-in-law and the current United States ambassador to the UAE. It’s good to know people in high places and have them use our company—not because we’re family but because we’re one of the best in our field.
He doesn’t give me an answer, but barges into the house.
“What the fuck, Faith?!” He yells in my face. He’s pissed at me and I have no idea why. When I spoke to him a few days ago, everything was going well. What in the world happened between then and now?
“What?” I ask, confused at his anger. “What’s goin’ on and what are you doin’ here? You’re supposed to be in Dubai with Gabriel.”
“What’s goin’ on?” He repeats angrily. “What’s goin’ on is that I had to find out through Gabriel, who found out from you, that you have a fuckin’ boyfriend! How could you? Why didn’t you have the decency to tell me about this guy when we’ve spoken the last couple of months?”
“What do you mean why haven’t I told you? Why would I tell you about my love life when we are having work conversations? Why does it matter to you anyway?” I snap, my own voice rising.
I’m pissed that he’s attacking me in this manner and without reason. He’s not my keeper.
“Why, Faith?” He asks sarcastically. “I have the right to know because I’ve been with you since Jake died. I’ve held you as you cried after my best friend died. Shit, I’ve known you even before you met Jake. You don’t have the fuckin’ courtesy to let me know you’re ready to move on! Why the fuck do you think I’ve been by your side?”
“You’re my friend. You were also Jake’s best friend and you told me you promised you would watch over Rylee and me if anything happened to him, and you have. I apologize for not telling you—I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. But, I see no reason for this behavior. Why are you angry and attacking me in this manner? You come into my home and yell at me. You don’t even have the decency to say hello. No. The problem is you, not me.”
I’m very upset and angry now. My evening was going so well and now this. I admit I was in the wrong for not telling my friend about Zane, but I don’t deserve this treatment.
“You’re so fuckin’ blind, Faith,” he tells me, and pulls me to him.
His lips are on mine!
What the hell is going on here?
I try to push him off me, but he’s so darn big. He’s almost as big as Zane, and I can’t get him to budge.
Why is he doing this?
One second I’m struggling against him and the next I hear a furious roar and Gunner is across the room. Standing in front of me is Zane. He’s furious.
“What the fuck is goin’ on here?” He yells.
He turns to me, quickly making sure I’m okay, and then before I can stop him, he’s on Gunner, punching him first in the face and then moving on to his body. Gunner gets himself together and returns hit for hit. Both are equally matched and out for blood.
“Stop!” I yell, but neither listens to me; they just go on beating each other, crashing into furniture.
Not wanting to hurt them by taking a bat to their heads, I go into the kitchen, fill two pitchers of cold water, and head back to my already half-destroyed living room. Angrily, I throw water on both men, surprising them enough to interrupt their fighting. I take advantage of this and place myself between them, knowing they’d never hurt me physically.
“Look at what you’ve done,” I yell, lighting into them. “What the hell are y’all thinkin’ beatin’ each other like Neanderthals? Look at my livin’ room. Y’all are lucky that the girls aren’t home or I’d be throwin’ your asses out. Next time, take it outside.”
I push Gunner onto one of the couches and he lets me. I take Zane’s hand and sit us down on the other. This lasts about ten seconds before both men stand up and face each other.
“I have every fuckin’ right to beat the shit outta this motherfucker,” Zane growls. “I show up to pick my woman up for our date and find this fucker with his hands and mouth on you. You would be fuckin’ pissed if you saw another woman with her hands and mouth on me, wouldn’t you?”
Knowing damn well I’d beat the bitch, I say to him, “Yes, honey, you’re right. I would beat the ever-livin’ tar out of any woman stupid enough to put her hands on you, and then I’d turn around and beat you for lettin’ her. You’re big enough to get her hands and mouth off you. But, honey, next time you want to beat the crap out of someone in my house, please take it outside. My livin’ room is in shambles and you know I despise messes. Both of you are gonna pick up every single broken item and put everything in order and you”—I turn to Gunner—“are gonna replace it. You hear me?”
Gunner is glaring at Zane with something pretty close to hatred in his eyes.
“I want to know who this fucker is and why he’s in your home, and I want to know now,” Zane demands.
“I’m Gunner,” Gunner beats me to answering. “And I’m in her house because she is supposed to be mine.”
What in the world is that supposed to mean? I ask myself, bewildered at his answer.
His answer only angers Zane more and knowing he’s about to launch himself at Gunner again, I wrap myself around him, stopping him.
“What the fuck is he talkin’ about?” Zane asks me.
“I don’t know what he me
ans,” I answer and turn to Gunner. “What are you talkin’ about? You’re my friend but that doesn’t make me yours. You’re my friend and business partner—that’s all. You’ve been a big part of our lives since Jake’s death with your support, but that doesn’t give you ownership of me or the girls. You need to explain yourself and now, Gunner. One doesn’t come into my home, verbally attack me, and force a kiss on me. That’s not your right and I need an explanation. Now! Before I lose my temper and show you what’s it’s like to piss off a Texas woman.”
“What am I talkin’ about, Faith? I’m talkin’ about the fact that I love you,” he tells me angrily. “I wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you, but you never looked at me the same way. Then, you met Jake and I wasn’t even a blip on your radar. I watched you and my best friend marry and build a life together. That fuckin’ tore me up. I hated him because he had you and your love. You looked at him with such love and devotion—he was your hero and your world. I wanted that for myself. But at the same time, I was happy because he deserved to smile after what that bitch did to him and Rylee. Then, I watched you fall apart after his death and that fuckin’ hurt me. I was there for you to lean on and cry on my shoulder. I held you as your world collapsed.
“I promised Jake I’d help take care of you and Rylee if anything happened to him. He knew I would keep my promise because he had an inklin’ that I loved you. He knew I would move Heaven and Earth for you. All these years … stupid me … I didn’t make a move on you because I knew you weren’t over him and I wanted you to only think of me when I told you how I felt. A few months ago, you told me you were ready to start datin’ again, you were ready to move on and I was so fuckin’ happy. Finally, you were finally gonna be mine, I thought. Then Gabriel called needing our assistance and I was sent. That was good for business because it moved us to the big leagues, but it fucked with my plan to finally show you how I felt for you. FUUUCCCKKK!”
He puts his head in his hands and clenches his hair in desperation.
Throughout Gunner’s spill, Zane is tense and ready. I’m afraid he thinks that Gunner will lose control and try to hurt me. Honestly, I don’t know what to think … I’ve never seen Gunner like this, but I know he won’t hit me. How could I have not seen this?
“You know the worst part?” Gunner asks. “The last couple of times I spoke with you on Skype, you sounded so happy. I’m a fuckin’ idiot. I thought I was the one puttin’ that smile there with my voice. All this time it was him, wasn’t it?”
I hate seeing his tortured face. I hate that I’ve hurt him this badly.
“Gunner …” I say with an anguished voice. “Yes, it was Zane. He came into my life and wouldn’t let me hide … I …” How do I tell him? “I never knew you felt this way for me. I thought you were being a good friend. Did I ever give you the wrong impression? How …” I trail off, wondering if I ever did something to lead him on.
“No … yes … no, damn it. You didn’t. It was all me. The first time I saw you, you didn’t even notice me. That should’ve clued me in—it was a week before your parents’ Christmas party. You came to your father’s office to meet him for lunch. You were wearing a maroon long-sleeved shirt with a puff vest, jeans, and UGG boots. Shit. I even remember what you wore that day and I’m a guy. I’m fuckin’ pathetic.”
My eyes close in pain and I feel Zane tense up even more. It’s killing him, not saying anything and watching me deal with this. I appreciate that he’s letting me handle this situation—that he’s here for support and hasn’t thrown Gunner out.
“I’m so sorry, Gunner. More than you know. I didn’t, I mean … I never even suspected you felt anything for me more than platonic feelings. Why didn’t you say something to me before? It’s selfish of me to ask, but why only now? Why, Gunner?” I almost beg him for an answer.
“Because I found out that you’d moved on and it pisses me off that I wasn’t here so it could be me. What does he have that I don’t? I’ve known you for years …”
“I don’t know how to answer that, Gunner. Like I told you before, he stampeded his way into my life, the girls’ lives, and didn’t let me hide behind my fears. He knows everything about me,” I say, mentally crossing my fingers behind my back, “and he’s still here. I care for him a lot. So much that I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
Hearing my words, Gunner’s eyes close in pain and his face. Oh my … his face is full of devastation.
“As soon as Gabriel told me you had called him and Carmen and Jacob were ecstatic that you were finally in a relationship, I dropped everything and got on a plane. I probably lost our biggest client. What do I get for it? A fuckin’ broken heart.”
“Enough,” Zane barks. “That’s enough. It’s not her fault you were too much of a fuckin’ pussy to own up to your feelings. You had years to tell her how you felt, but you didn’t. You could’ve given her a year and then made a move, but you were too fuckin’ scared. Don’t make her feel like shit for somethin’ she had no idea about and isn’t even her fault.”
Zane is beyond pissed now. Gunner is blaming me for this and maybe it’s my fault, but he never said anything. And now, I’m going to have to do some sweet talking to make sure I iron everything out with Gabriel and make sure things are covered by Gunner’s second-in-command.
“Don’t come here blamin’ her because you were too chicken-shit to man up. You had your chance and you lost it. This is the last time you get to put your lips and hands on her. The. Last. Fuckin.’ Time. You get me? I’m not gonna put up with this bullshit. You’re actin’ like a little kid whose toy was stolen. Grow a fuckin’ pair and man the fuck up,” Zane orders Gunner.
“Honey, don’t be so brutal,” I say to Zane, wanting him to take it easy on Gunner. He’s heartbroken and deserves a break. Yeah, he forced a kiss on me, but it’s over and done with. But, I understand where Zane is coming from. The type of man he is, Zane isn’t going to let this slide.
“No, baby. I’m not gonna stand here and let him make you feel as if all this is your fault. It’s not. If he wanted you,” Zane says without breaking his glare at Gunner, “He shoulda been man enough to give you time to grieve and then made himself an integral part of your lives. I knew the moment I saw you that I wanted you and I made sure you knew it. I worked my way into your lives and I’m here to stay. I’m not gonna to let him come into your house and try to take you from me. You. Are. Mine.”
“Listen here, you motherfucker—” Gunner starts to say, but Zane cuts him off.
“No. You fuckin’ listen and listen good. Faith and the girls are mine. They are mine and I take care of what’s mine. I protect them with my life and if I have to beat the shit outta dumbass motherfuckers like yourself, then I will. I’m not gonna let you barge into my woman’s house and put your hands on her. I’ll give you this one time because she stopped me and only this one time. Never again are you to put your hands or mouth on her. You try this crazy shit again, and I will fuckin’ kill you. You got me?”
Gunner looks at him and then at me. He recognizes the type of man Zane is and the seriousness of our relationship. With a defeated sigh he says, “Yeah, I got it. I don’t like it but I got it.” He looks at me. “I’m sorry, Faith. I’m just upset because I feel like I lost you all over again. First to Jake and now to him. And it’s not your fault, it’s mine. I should’ve told you sooner. But now that I see you together, I see that it probably wouldn’t have mattered. Even if you would’ve been mine, it would’ve been for a short while until you met him.” He gives me a sad look and continues, “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m not sorry I kissed you. I had to taste your lips at least once and the beatin’ was worth it.” He tries to smile but fails.
My heart is breaking for my friend and I know that our friendship is going to suffer. I try to pull away from Zane to go to Gunner, but Zane doesn’t loosen his hold. I pinch him, taking him by surprise. I use this opportunity to make my way to Gunner, leaving a not-so-happy Zane standing behind. I l
ook at Gunner, asking for permission, and he slightly nods his head. I put my arms around him and he holds me tight.
“I never had a chance, did I?” He asks.
“I’m sorry, Gunner,” I tell him.
I step back out of our embrace. I hate hurting him, but I need to be completely honest with him.
“You and Julia were there with me durin’ the hardest times of my life. I will never forget that and I will always be grateful. Y’all held me together when I wanted to give up and y’all helped me take care of my babies. I love both of you as family. What I felt for Jake was strong and true, and even death will never make that go away. What I feel for Zane is just as strong. I’m scared to admit it, but I need to stop livin’ in fear and take a leap of faith. I don’t know what life has in store for us, but I want to find out. I’m sorry that I couldn’t love you that way.”
I pause, looking into his eyes. One day,” I tell him. “One day you will meet the woman that’s meant for you. Then, you’ll understand that you have no control over who you love. You love me now, but one day you’ll find this woman and she’ll be magnificent. You and I were never meant to be, but you and her will live a lifetime of love.”
I reach to give him a kiss on his cheek. This is me ending all discussion on this matter, and I’m glad he understands and seems to be following my lead.
“Now, the two of you better start straightenin’ up my living room before I get seriously pissed off. You”—I point at Gunner and try to look fierce—“will be payin’ for everything that was broken during your little spat. Capisce?”
Gunner gives a small chuckle at my slang usage. “Yeah, babe, I got it.”
“You better take good care of her,” he says to Zane. “You hurt her and I’ll fuckin’ castrate you and feed you your dick and balls. I’ll always be here for her and I won’t hesitate to end you.”
Hearing this speech, I know all danger of the two of them beating each other senseless is gone, so I go into the kitchen to order take-out and make the necessary calls to straighten out the situation so we don’t lose a client. I’m not in the mood to cook and I’m definitely not going to make Zane cook. There goes my date night with Zane. I hope he’s not too upset and is okay with eating here at home with me. I order plenty of food and head back to the living room with a glass of sweet wine in my hand. This definitely calls for wine and I deserve it. I find the guys cleaning up my living room and being civil to each other—thank goodness.