by Lexi Blake
The corner he was pushing her into was getting smaller and smaller, and she didn’t like the way he was making her feel. She was doing this for him, damn it. “You won’t be alone. I’ve made arrangements in case something goes wrong.”
“I don’t want an arrangement. Mom, please don’t do this. You promised me. I want to mean more to you than revenge against him. We did it. We got away. Can’t that be enough?”
“It’s not about revenge.” But some of the things he was saying made sense. Wade was the security expert. If she trusted him to protect her son, why would he be incapable of watching out for her, too?
“Cool, then we can stay here and be normal for as long as we can.” Ash had turned on what she liked to think of as his life coach mode. He got animated and encouraging when he was trying to get her to do something big. “I like Wade. He’s surprisingly cool for an old military dude. I like this place. I want to go to school and have friends and watch movies, but more than anything else, I want to see my mom happy. This path you’ve put us on, it won’t make either one of us happy. What’s freedom worth if there’s no joy in it? If we’re not together. I wasn’t playing you. I am scared, Mom. Please. You’ve spent my whole life sacrificing for me. Live for me. Live with me. Let’s stay right here and let Wade watch out for us. He can teach us. He’s already promised to teach me some self-defense and let me go to the gym with him. You can come with us.”
Go with him and Wade? Like they were some kind of family? She couldn’t. She shook her head. “I can’t trust him.”
“This is about Wade? Because if you think you don’t have anything to offer him, take a look around this place. You could turn this into a home for him.”
“That’s not the issue. I’m not playing housewife for him.” Even though the truth was she’d already started thinking about it. Deep down she’d always wondered what her home with Wade would have been like. Not as grand as the Howard Mansion, but warm and comfortable and filled with happiness.
Ash seemed to think, like he hadn’t considered that side of the problem. “All right. I’ll get our things. I honestly thought he was what’s best for us, for you, but I won’t force you into even a friendship with a man you don’t like. You should understand something though. I’m going with you and if you leave me behind, I’ll find a way to get back to you. I’ll be beside you when Brock shows up. Do you remember what you said to me when I was seven and I realized he was hitting you?”
“I said none of it mattered as long as you were with me. I told you that no pain was too much as long as I had you. I said we were a team and no one could break us.” The tears fell and there was nothing she could do to stop them.
Ash stepped up, his hands on her shoulders. “Nothing matters as long as you’re with me. I can take the pain if I have you. We’re a team and nothing and no one gets to break us. Not even you.”
“I don’t dislike Wade,” she said quietly. It was clear to her now. She was using Brock as an excuse. “I’m scared of him. I loved him once, but he didn’t love me the same way. I’m scared if I stay here, he’ll hurt me again. I guess I was in that life for so long I don’t know anything else, baby. What if I’m not any good at being your mom out here in the real world? I can’t even get you to stop cussing.”
Suddenly he was in her arms, and despite the fact that he was now slightly taller than she was, she could feel the child he’d been. She could see him when he’d first been born, small and needy and world changing. She could see him at two, clinging to her; at five, already somber because he knew the rules. The rules were gone and the world had opened up for them both.
What did she want? Did she want to avenge the past at the cost of a possible future? She’d spent her whole adult life choosing her son over everything else. She could say this was about him, but deep inside her heart she knew this was all about Brock and her. This was about finishing something. But it would finish her, too. It would finish the team she’d formed with her son.
They had a chance here, but only if she was willing to give Wade some trust. They’d been friends before they’d been lovers. Perhaps they could find that again.
She kissed her son on the cheek. “All right. We can stay.”
Ash let go, his eyes widening as she walked back into the kitchen. Wade was still there, plating pancakes.
She sat down at his bistro table. It was really made for two. They would need a bigger one. Maybe she could get a couple of houseplants to bring some color into this bland kitchen. “I appreciate all the work you’ve done this morning. I do need some clothes. I’ll pay you back when I can. Could I have some coffee, please?”
He tripped over his own feet to get it for her.
Ash walked back, carrying a folding chair. “He doesn’t have a lot of furniture.”
“I didn’t need it,” Wade admitted, putting the mug in front of her. “But we’ve got a week to make the place comfy. And I have access to Clint’s bank account. Everything’s on him, and you’re not paying his ass back.”
She had to work on that, too. She wasn’t going to be the reason Wade didn’t speak to his brother. She took a long drink of the coffee. It was rich and warm and comforting.
A little like the man at the stove.
Ash started talking about everything he needed for school and Wade placed plates in front of them both and then joined them. He smiled and laughed, encouraging her to take the last of the bacon.
It was pretty much everything she’d dreamed a family could be.
And Genny realized she might be in trouble.
* * * *
Wade stepped out onto the back porch, shutting the door behind him. It had been a deeply satisfying day. After breakfast, they’d cleaned the kitchen and gone shopping, first to buy Asher new clothes and shoes and school supplies, and then to the grocery store. He’d pushed the cart as Genny and Asher had argued over what she would cook for the rest of the week. He’d wanted nothing but mac and cheese and pizza. She’d argued for healthy fare. Momma won. They would be eating a lot of chicken and fish, and he was looking forward to all of it. Especially the chocolate cake she’d promised as a compromise with her son.
The night was peaceful. Moonlight shone down, revealing the woman currently sitting on his porch swing. Genny stared out over his yard with its outdoor kitchen and hot tub. It was precisely why he’d bought this place. He loved sitting out here, having his friends over for barbecues and tossing a football around. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d thought this was a home where he could start a family. Of course, he’d never found the right woman.
Probably because the right woman had always been her.
“Hey, Ash is all bedded down. He’s excited about school. I have to admit I find that interesting. At his age I would have used any excuse to get out of it.” He walked over to the outdoor fridge. It was super cold, far colder than the one in his kitchen. It was where he kept his beer. He pulled two out. “You want one?”
“Absolutely. Three hours of being forced to give my opinion on how my son’s ass looks in jeans and whether or not I would want to do that if I were a teenaged girl has taken a toll. I don’t think that was normal, Wade.”
He was fairly certain there wasn’t a whole lot of normal about Ash, but damn, he liked the kid. He hadn’t been able to help overhearing Ash’s talk this morning with his mom. His heart had ached the whole time they’d worked out their differences, and had ached more when he’d realized he was one of those differences. “He’s a great kid, Genny. He’s a remarkable kid.”
Her lips turned up as she took the beer from his hand. “Nothing at all like his dad.”
“I think Ash would tell you that’s all biology and meaningless to who he is on the inside.” He sat down next to her, the swing creaking under his weight but holding steady.
“Ash says a lot of things.” She tipped back her beer and was silent for a moment. “Am I doing the right thing?”
At least she was talking to him. She’d been perfectly poli
te when they’d gone to the mall shopping, but he could sense the careful distance she’d placed between them. He needed to reassure her. God, he needed to find a way to convince her to trust him again. “The school has excellent security. They’ve got CCTV on every hall and in the cafeteria. The campus itself has two police officers assigned to it. We’re going to talk to the principal about our worries and the police will be made very aware of the threats.”
“I don’t think we can legally keep Brock away from the school. He’s got partial custody,” she replied.
“He won’t after Mitch is through with him.” He’d talked to Mitch earlier in the day. Though he mostly worked on contracts and corporate law, he could handle himself in any courtroom. Mitch loved to take down an asshole. He considered it a hobby of his. “And you have to remember, this is Dallas, not Broken Bend. I know your first instinct is to try to fix things yourself because you don’t trust the system there. Brock isn’t the one with power and influence here. My boss and his friends are very influential. The cops here won’t care who Brock is. They’ll take him down if he steps out of line.”
She held the longneck against her chest as though trying to cool off. “I hope that’s true because he will come after me and Asher. He’ll try to take Ash to hurt me, to make me do what he wants. And I wasn’t really talking about the school. He has to go to school. He’s like me at that age. School was awesome. No, I’m worried staying here is a mistake.”
“Because you can’t trust me?” He tried to keep the bitterness out of his tone. He wasn’t bitter with her. He was angry with himself, with all the years they’d lost. The crazy thing was his first instinct had been to storm home and force her to explain herself. But he’d been in the middle of boot camp, unable to leave. By the time he was able to go home, he’d talked himself into not speaking with her. Of course, she’d been married by then. Brock had known exactly what he was doing.
She sighed, a weary sound. “We’re different people now.”
“Maybe I am but you’re not. Oh, you might be older but you’re still the woman who would be so loyal to the boy she loved that she would give up her life. The only thing that’s changed is the boy you love,” he said. He’d thought about it all day, thought about how truly little she’d changed. She’d gone through hell and wasn’t bitter, was still capable of love and forgiveness. Fuck, he didn’t deserve her, but he was taking this chance. “I didn’t deserve your loyalty. Neither did my brother or my mother.” She started to open her mouth. He had to shut that down. “Don’t. Don’t tell me how to feel. I know you’ve worked through this, but I don’t know how to.”
“It helps to admit that we were all children back then.”
“My mother wasn’t.” He needed to talk about this with her.
“No, but she wasn’t the same after your dad died. She was lost and I’ve forgiven her,” she replied quietly. “You can’t spend your life being angry.”
“You’re angry with me.”
For a moment he thought she would ignore him. Then she turned to him, her eyes shining in the moonlight. “Maybe. It’s hard to figure out how I feel about you. For a long time, I dreamed about you at night. You were the only man I ever loved. Brock killed that. I think he might have killed the part of me that can love someone other than my son. I didn’t feel a lot when my father passed. But then he was the one who told me to suck it up. I went to him after Brock hit me the first time. He told me to not make my husband mad.”
“Genny, he should have killed him. I would have. God, I should have.” That sorrow that had been building inside him threatened to spill over. Anger was there, but it was overshadowed by the terrible pain he felt at the thought of her being alone and afraid.
“It’s funny,” she said, studying him in the silvery light. “I went over pretty much every possible scenario I could, and this wasn’t the way I thought you would handle it. It’s why it took forever for me to talk to you. I thought you would either not care at all or that you would be so angry you went after everyone. I hesitated because I thought I might unleash a beast.”
He could give her this. Since the moment he’d learned the truth, he’d genuinely forced himself to think about how he reacted. It would be selfish to act out in anger when she needed him to be calm, to think about what was best for her. The drive from Broken Bend to Dallas with Ash had made that clear to him. They needed someone who would thoughtfully protect them, not a raging animal who fed his own needs. “You’ve had enough anger in your life. It’s there. God, it’s there, but I swear I won’t act on it because I won’t do anything that could hurt you. I’ll try to handle him in every legal way I can and if I have to take him out, I’ll do it in a way that can never come back on any of us. You don’t need my rage. You do need me though.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Because you think I’ll let you down again.” It wasn’t a question.
“Because I don’t want to love anyone again,” she admitted. “I don’t want to depend on anyone. I thank you for everything you’re doing, but we can’t stay here forever. When we know we’re safe, Ash and I have to find our own place.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. “I won’t force you to stay, but I’ll do everything I can in the meantime to change your mind. I’ll sleep on the air mattress for as long as you need me to, but you should know where I want to be. I won’t play games with you and I won’t manipulate you. You deserve honesty. I want you, Genny. I want you in my life, in my arms, in my bed. My plan is to make it so nice for you that you never want to leave. I want to make you feel safe and comfortable, and one day you’ll wake up and this will be your home and it won’t make sense to leave.”
Her eyes shone in the moonlight. “It’s not going to happen. I can be friends with you, but I don’t think I can do the rest. He killed that part of me, too.”
“Then I’ll bring it back to life. I know it’s ridiculous to compare our experiences. I won’t even try, but I’ve lived a half-life since the day I lost you. I don’t want to live that way anymore. My home, my heart, everything I have is yours. You only have to ask for it. You need someone to hold you, I’m here. You want kisses, these lips are yours. And I’ll be more patient than you can imagine because this is the most important fight of my life. You and Ash already mean the world to me and I’ve known that kid for a whole twenty-four hours. I love him. I want to be in his life and yours.”
Had he gone too far? Was she about to get up and walk away? He shouldn’t have pushed her but he couldn’t not tell her. He couldn’t pretend. She deserved to know exactly what he was going to do and to talk about it all. He couldn’t take another choice from her.
If she bolted, he would still watch over her.
“And if I never ask?”
She wasn’t moving, wasn’t walking away. He would take that as a victory for now. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll still want you here. I’ll still want to be in your life.”
She nodded and looked out over the yard. “Your backyard is way nicer than the inside of your house. Typical man. And I should sleep on the air mattress.”
“Absolutely not, and you feel free to do anything you like to the house. I’ve never had a girlfriend live with me. I had a roommate for a while, but he got his own place and got married. I don’t know about things like decorating. The only reason I can cook was pure necessity.”
“You’ve never lived with a woman?”
“No.” He’d never wanted to. Every time he came close, something made him hold back. Now he was pretty sure that something had been her.
She went back to silence, the only sound between them the slight squeaking the swing made and the hum of the hot tub. After a long moment, she spoke. “Do you remember when we used to do this on your porch?”
God, this was why he’d bought this house. The truth hit him squarely between the eyes. When he’d decided living in the rooms above Sanctum was pathetic and he’d finally started looking for a place, there had been several that had been in
better locations, had nicer amenities, but he’d known he would buy this one when he’d walked into the backyard. Something had called to him, and now he realized it had been the remembrance of long nights swinging beside her. They would start out studying and end up kissing and touching and holding each other.
“Yeah.”
Her hand came out, palm up. It was the sweetest offering he’d ever seen.
He slid his hand over, covering hers.
They sat there, swinging and holding hands for the longest time.
It was enough.
Chapter Five
Genny stepped off the elevator and smoothed down her skirt. It was odd to be in clothes she’d picked out herself. Brock had preferred her in fussy business suits, the same type his mother had worn. When she’d gone shopping the week before, she’d had to think about what she liked. Bright colors, tighter fits. When she’d tried to ask Wade’s opinion, he’d merely said every single time that she looked lovely. She was wearing a pencil skirt and curve-hugging blouse that she was certain Brock would say made her look like a whore.
What he thought didn’t matter anymore.
Ahead was a sign that read McKay-Taggart Security. Through what appeared to be heavy glass doors, she could see a reception area but it was empty. If everything went well this morning, that desk would be hers.
If she could handle it. It had been years since she’d been employed. Brock hadn’t even allowed her to work at the plant. Of course, he’d pretty much been right about that. If he’d let her, she would have blown the whistle on his embezzlement practices years before. As it was, she’d only found the proof after her father died and she’d gone through his private papers. She’d gathered information for years, but it had never been enough. Her father had left behind the undeniable trail of crimes she’d needed.
“This is the main floor of the building,” Wade said as he pulled out a key card. “I work downstairs, though as lean as we are in my department, they might as well move us back into the main office and rent the floor out. It’s just me and Shane right now.”