by Alys Landale
She walked over to where Tom was working. They had spent almost the whole day aboard Gerek’s ship and now it was 1900 and they were still working. Tom appeared to be fine at the moment but she couldn’t shake the memory of how haggard he had appeared earlier.
“How are you coming?” she asked.
He looked up from his work. “If we run a slight phase modification through this element, we should be able to get it to replicate itself until we have enough to suit our needs.”
She nodded. So far, things were looking good. At the rate they were going now, they could be finished testing by tomorrow.
Then the building would begin.
A thought that had been plaguing her for some time surfaced. “I was just wondering, how do you know so much about this?”
He looked over to B’Elanna. He had wondered the same thing for some time, but had dismissed it long ago. “I’ve had a good deal of experience working with it,” he said.
She sighed. “That still doesn’t answer my question.”
Seven looked up from where she was working as well. She too wished to know where Paris had come in contact with this particular element.
He averted his eyes back to the console. “This element is in its pure form. A tainted form of it is present within my system.”
B’Elanna raised her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
He continued. “This element is what coats my bones and makes up about fifty two percent of my blood,” he told her. “It’s not at the same maturity level as this element is here, but it’s the same none the less.”
Torres didn’t know what to say. How do you respond to something like that?
Seven turned her gaze back to the console as well. The three worked in silence for the rest of the day.
Xara was sitting on the couch when Tom came back to his quarters.
“Isn’t it your bedtime?” he teased.
She smiled. “Someone has to stay up and make sure you get to bed. You’ve been working a lot more than usual Rune.”
He laughed. To others it might look like he took care of her, but at times the roles became reversed.
He sat down on the couch next to her. His body felt drained all of a sudden. “It looks like I’ve got some good news.”
He watched as her face took on a look of anticipation. “I think we’ve found a way to get back home.”
Her reaction to the news was one of joy and sadness. “When will we leave?” she asked. She wanted to go see her friends back in the Resistance, but Naomi had also become a great friend to her as well.
Tom understood her mixed emotions. “Don’t worry. It’ll be a month, if not more, until we get Voyager back to the Alpha Quadrant. And with this new warp core we can go to and from the Alpha and Delta Quadrants with ease.”
She smiled at his last words. “Good,” she said. “I really miss Danag and Satira and the others, but I’m getting to like these people too.”
He nodded. “I know what you mean.”
She crawled into his lap. He laid his head against the back of the couch and leaned back. Usually he could go for two days with little or no sleep and not feel a thing. But now...
*Maybe it’s just being in such close proximity to this element. It might be reacting with my blood.* he thought.
His eyes felt so much heavier. He decided to just relax for the time being. He could get up later.
Xara leaned her head back against his chest. She could tell he was tired. One only had to look at his face now to read the utter fatigue that was sketched into his features.
For the first time since she had known him, she was really worried about him. She had never seen him like this before. She’d seen him almost ripped apart by gunfire, get up, and leave sickbay once the wounds had been healed, only to serve an eighteen hour shift on the bridge.
After a few minutes, she realized he was asleep. This was the strangest thing she had ever witnessed. Never before had she known him to fall asleep with her still up.
*I hope he’s okay.* she thought.
Getting off of him as soundlessly as possible she went to his quarters to retrieve a blanket. She draped it over his still form as best she could.
After giving him another worried look, she retreated to her cabin for the night. She knew he’d never consent to go to sickbay, but then she reprimanded herself. There wasn’t anything wrong with him. Why should she be so worried?
She looked back at him from where she stood in the doorway. His still form was sleeping soundlessly on the couch.
One arm was draped down at his side and his head was inclined to the side.
She turned and got into her bed. Nothing was wrong. There couldn’t possibly be anything wrong. But still, worry plagued her mind even as she drifted off to sleep.
The next morning B’Elanna walked down to Tom’s cabin. He hadn’t come down to Engineering yet, so she decided to go and see what was holding him up. With all the work they needed to do, they had to get started right away. Seven had already begun running another set of diagnostics.
B’Elanna’s thoughts turned to Paris. He was here. It still seemed so unbelievable to her. But his lack of emotion towards her was like a splash of cold water. Almost every night this week she had been in a fit of rage by the time she went to sleep. She often wondered if he would ever feel the same way about her as she did about him. She loved him, and she always would. But he had loved Aria. He probably still loved her. Where would she fit in now?
*Shut up* she told herself. *I just have to give him time. He’ll remember. He has to remember.*
She kept telling herself this, but deep down she knew that there was a good chance that he never would.
She chimed his door. After a few more minutes, she did so again. *Where is he?* she wondered. She was about to ask the computer the location of Tom Paris, when Xara answered the door.
“Is Tom here?” B’Elanna asked.
The younger girl looked over her shoulder to the couch where Tom was still asleep. She had never heard of Paris sleeping through something like this. Just someone being in the room while he slept was enough to wake him up.
“He’s still sleeping,” she told B’Elanna.
B’Elanna looked past her to where Tom slept on the couch. “Why is he on the couch?”
Xara shrugged. “That’s where he fell asleep.”
B’Elanna walked further inside. She noticed the blanket thrown over his body. One of his hands hung off the couch slightly.
Paris’s brow furrowed. It looked like he was dreaming.
*
Darkness extended to all distances. A cold wind seemed to blow from nowhere. Paris tried to judge where he was. He could see nothing but the blackness of the area around him. However, he could feel a constant turmoil flowing through the wind that hit him.
Images of B’Elanna passed through his mind. He felt the strength of her arms around him, the touch of her lips on his.
Scenes of them together flew before his eyes. Everything seemed so familiar. But just as soon as they had come, they were ripped away again.
The darkness seemed even more desolate now. But within this ominous cloud of nothing, a presence stirred. He could feel someone coming from behind him. The presence brushed across the back of his mind. It seemed so...cold.
Instinctively, he moved away from the being.
*Where the Hell am I* he wondered.
A second later the attack came. The presence he had felt before attacked him from behind. His opponent seemed vaguely familiar. It was as if he had fought him before, somewhere else. Paris didn’t try to figure out where, he concentrated on getting away from his attacker.
Tom could feel himself being pushed and pulled farther into the darkness. He ripped away from the being with all his might but it only proved to attack him with even more strength.
Tom felt himself being dragged down by this unknown entity. *Who are you?* he asked.
The only response he received was *What, you don’t remember
me?*
He struggled again. It seemed the more he struggled the stronger his opponent would become. At the last moment, when he felt himself at the edge of the oblivion, he felt another presence approach.
His opponent was ripped away from him and Paris lay bewildered where he had been attacked. He struggled to comprehend what was going on. There were three entities around him. Two were attacking his adversary and the one who had attacked him seemed to be fighting a losing battle.
His opponent was finally banished away and one of the entities approached him. The darkness began to recede slightly with this other being’s departure. The entity slowly began to take form. He knew this spirit. There was no way he could ever mistake her.
*Aria?* he asked.
He could feel her mood lighten. *It’s me Rune.* She brushed up beside him. Her emotions melted over him. He felt her joy her excitement, but he also felt her sorrow.
*Aria? How? By the Spirit, I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry.* he told her.
She extended as much comfort around him as she could. *There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. I’m fine. But I’ve been sent back here to help you. Rune you’re in danger.*
Her last words were punctuated by the atmosphere around them suddenly turning darker. The wind picked up and blew icy cold gusts toward them. He felt her slowly leaving him.
*Aria what’s going on?* he asked.
*Rune, he will destroy you if we don’t stop him. He’s growing stronger every second. We have to fight him now.* Her presence was steadily being pulled away from him.
He felt himself being ripped away as well. *Wait!* he said. *Don’t go! What are you talking about! Aria!*
As his last words echoed through this endless plane, he was ripped away from this world. Aria felt him leave. She sighed inwardly. There was so much she had to tell him, there was so much he had to understand.
*Is he ready?* asked her female companion.
Aria’s mood turned to one of concern. *I don’t know. But from our situation now, I don’t think he has a choice.*
B’Elanna shook Tom’s shoulder again. He had begun having a nightmare and now she was trying to bring him back to the world of consciousness.
“Tom,” she said. “Tom, wake up.”
His breathing was becoming harder and his face was now wet with perspiration. She was getting worried. So was Xara.
The little girl had never seen Paris like this before.
Torres shook Tom’s shoulder harder. “Tom! Come on Tom, wake up.”
After a few more seconds, his eyes flew open and he jerked up with a start. B’Elanna was caught by surprise. His eyes roamed the room as he tried to distinguish his surroundings.
“It’s okay,” she said. “You’re on Voyager, Tom.”
He looked around the room once more before allowing his breathing to return to normal. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch.
Xara walked over to him with concern evident on her face. “Rune,” she said. “Are you alright?”
He opened his eyes again and looked down at Xara. “I’m fine,” he said. “I just didn’t sleep very well.”
She didn’t say anything, only nodded. But it was evident on her face that she wasn’t buying it. B’Elanna wasn’t for that matter either.
“Why don’t you let Tom and I talk alone for a while,” she told Xara.
Xara cast another worried look at Tom but left anyway. Once she was gone, B’Elanna turned back to Tom.
She decided to go straight to the point. “Okay, stop the show. What’s wrong?”
He looked her in the eye. The haunted look in his eyes only proved to convince her even more that something was wrong.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just didn’t sleep well last night,” he repeated.
She took his face in her hands. It was covered in a cold sweat.
“No nothing’s wrong. You’ve just been walking around for the past couple of days like you haven’t slept in a week. Then I come here and find you asleep on your couch. No nothing’s wrong at all.” She said all of this in a calm, worried voice. The fact that she hadn’t been able to wake him had scared her. And now after he was awake, he held a haunted look in his eyes and refused to admit what had happened.
He averted his gaze to the floor. That dream had been so real; it still lingered in all its momentum. “B’Elanna, it was just a dream. There wasn’t anything to it. I guess I’ve just been working too hard lately.” It seemed that everything that came out of his mouth was a lie. But there was no way he could tell her the truth. Not now, not just yet.
She pushed a strand of hair off his forehead with one gentle move. She decided to relent just this once. “Okay,” she said. “But if this happens again, I want you to tell me. Understand?”
He smiled. “Yes ma’am.”
She got back up to her feet from where she had been knelt next to him. Looking down at him, she said. “I don’t suppose I can convince you to stay in your cabin today, can I?”
He shook his head. “Not likely.” Paris then got to his feet. “Why don’t you go on down to Engineering. I’ll meet you there. I just need to get dressed.”
She looked a bit reluctant but nodded anyway. “Okay, I’ll be waiting on you.”
He nodded to her and she left. Once she had exited the door, he ran a hand over his face and sank back down onto the couch. He had to get ready to go to work but right now, that dream still occupied his mind. He looked back to the door where
B’Elanna had just left. For some reason, he yearned for her to be back here right now.
He forced his tired muscles to get back up again. He had to get ready. There was so much that had to be done. His mind seemed to weigh a thousand pounds as he lifted himself off the couch.
He just had to say good-bye to Xara and then it would be time to go to work.
B’Elanna walked into Engineering. She noticed that Harry was in there with Seven as well. She hung to the side as she let them have privacy to talk.
She didn’t go unnoticed however and Seven soon brought her presence to attention. “Lieutenant Torres, were you able to locate Ensign Paris?”
B’Elanna nodded. “He’ll be here in a minute.” She didn’t want to go into the details of why he was late.
“So B’Elanna, Seven here tells me that you should be able to begin building the new core within another day or two.” Harry said.
“Yeah,” B’Elanna responded. She looked back to the door behind her. Both Harry and Seven noticed her distracted look.
“Is something wrong?” Harry asked.
B’Elanna usually would be able to evade answering a question like this, but right now, she was too worried. “I don’t
know.” she said. “I’m just worried about Tom.”
“What reasons prompt you to be so?” Seven asked.
Torres shrugged. “It’s just he’s been behaving so strange lately and today he overslept...” She didn’t go into any more details than that.
Harry didn’t seem too worried. “B’Elanna, he’s just trying to adjust to life on Voyager. Besides, as much work as he’s been doing lately, he has a right to oversleep at least this once.”
She kept quiet. How could she tell Harry her reasons? She didn’t even know why worried she was either. If he could have seen what she saw just a few minutes ago, he’d be alarmed as well.
Paris walked in a few minutes later. All remnants of their previous conversation were obliterated. Any traces of what
B’Elanna had said earlier had been erased. He looked just like he had forgotten what time to come in, that’s all.
“Mr. Paris, you are twenty minutes late.” Seven told him.
He shot her an innocent smile. “What can I say, I overslept. Now why don’t we get to work on these tests? I’m ready to begin building the core.”
Janeway was in her ready room going over the morning reports. She smiled as Chakotay walked in a few minutes later.
“Commander,” she
said.
“Captain,” he greeted as well. “I just came to drop off another set of reports.” He then turned to leave.
“Wait,” she said. “Why don’t you stay a while longer? I have something I’d like to talk with you about.”
He sat down in a chair next to her. “Yes,” he said.
She put down the Padd she was holding and focused all of her attention on the man before her. “Have you noticed anything strange about Mr. Paris lately?”
He thought for a minute. “No nothing that warrants any merit. He’s behaved differently than I’m used to, but it’s probably just due to him trying to get used to his new life,” he said. “Kathryn, he still doesn’t really know who he is. How can we make any guesses on what he should act like?”
Janeway admitted that he had a point. But still, worry lingered in the back of her mind. “I guess you’re right. I just can’t get rid of this feeling that something’s wrong.”
He put a hand on her shoulder. “Just give him time Kathryn. Once he gets used to us here, things will return back to normal.”
She nodded. He was right. But still, doubt lingered in her mind.
B’Elanna, Seven, and Tom were winding down their day. All the tests had been finished and now the only thing left to do was to begin building the Warp Core. B’Elanna walked away to take care of business elsewhere so Paris and Seven were left alone.
Seven took a sideways glance at Paris and then decided to ask her question. “You are similar to the Borg, am I correct?”
He looked up. “Yes.”
She put down one of the instruments she had been using. After a pause she continued. “I was... raised by the Borg. I have been a member of this crew for almost two years, yet I have still not come to a complete understanding of their behavior. You do not remember your past; yet, you are able to understand and react to emotions of others much more adequately than I. I wish to know how you apprehended this ability.”
Tom contemplated what she was saying. “I had some help. I’m part telepath so it isn’t that hard for me to understand what others are feeling. Why do you ask?”