by Sera, Drew
“Of course I did. I love eating pussy.”
Something in Matt snapped and he jumped out of the chair, grabbed Anthony by his shirt and tripped up Anthony’s feet so he fell backwards to the ground. Anthony was flat on his back and Matt had his knee and lower leg pressed down on Anthony’s chest. Clearly, it knocked the wind out of him because he was coughing and struggling for air. Matt grabbed Anthony’s sunglasses off his face and threw them in the pool.
“Goddamn you, Anthony! Don’t you fucking dare put Sydney in the same bucket as all the other subs you’ve fucked and played with. Sydney doesn’t belong in the category of women that mean nothing to you. We all know that she means more to you than just a pussy that occupied your mouth for a night. If you weren’t such a coward, you’d see that.”
Anthony looked like he was ready to go through the roof and he began squirming around. I grabbed Matt around his arm and tried to pull him away but was met with resistance.
“I don’t know what those sorry excuses for parents did to you. They may have fucked you up to the point where you’d let quite possibly the best thing that’s happened to you, slip right out of your hands because you’re scared and numb. Stop acting like that scared little boy you used to be and act like the man you are. She’s special and you better wake the fuck up.”
“Are you done, Matthew?” Anthony’s voice was low and terse.
Matt pushed himself off Anthony and took his seat at the patio table. I was shocked at the stuff Matt said to him though. Once I was sure Anthony wasn’t going to retaliate, I took a seat at the head of the table. Anthony stood and brushed himself off and held his hands on his hips. I knew his side was really hurting now. Matt’s heart to heart could have one of two effects; it’d be an eye opener for Anthony or push him to retreat more. Finally Anthony sat down at the table across from Matt and held his side while he rubbed on his chest.
Matt was rough with him and I wasn’t happy about that. Anthony wasn’t putting Sydney in the group of women that’s he’s played with once. Matt was just trying to get a rise out of him. I know Anthony cared about her more than he’s cared for anyone. This is all new to Anthony and he’s under a ton of stress and is trying to deal with feelings that he’s never had before.
“Fuck! Next time just hit me in the face or something. You don’t have to fucking sit on me.” Anthony pushed his chair back some so he could lean forward and rest his forearms on his knees. “Fuck, Matt.”
Anthony is as tough as nails but Matt went after the shock factor by knocking him to the ground and then knocking the wind out of him. And of course, the verbal punches.
We continued to talk about Sydney and when Matt’s phone vibrated with a text, I looked down at my watch. It was quarter to five and the sun was setting. Matt was reading the text and the creases in his forehead became more apparent and it worried me.
“What, Matt? Is something wrong?”
Anthony was now looking over at Matt waiting for the answer.
“No. Well, I don’t know. I don’t think so. But Gina said they just got to the car and that she thinks Sydney is really worn out and seems upset. She said they’re on their way.”
We cleaned up the patio and went inside. Well, Anthony stayed outside on the patio. I knew he was processing a whole lot of shit right now. I’d give him time and some space. But he better hurry the fuck up and come to terms with how he feels for her otherwise she’ll end up scening with Evan. And I honestly don’t know if I can handle that.
I paced around in the great room while Matt sat on the couch. I just wanted my baby home so I could take care of her. Was she sick or just tired? Was it her stomach? Her stomach is deeply bruised and often causes her pain. Whatever it was, I’d help her. And I knew Anthony would too. He’s been there for her through all of this too.
When I heard Gina’s Mercedes pull into the driveway, Matt and I both went outside to greet the girls. Before Sydney got all the way out of the car, I knew something was wrong. Her body language confirmed she was not feeling well. Matt helped Gina get a few bags from the back as I headed inside with Sydney. I knew they’d be right behind me.
Once I got her inside and under the lights, I could see that she was shivering. Her eyes were glassy and red and I could tell she had been crying. What the fuck happened? I took her over to the fireplace and sat her down on the ledge. When I put my hands on either side of her face, she tried to pull away. What the fuck?
“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you not feeling well? Are you hungry? Did you eat something?”
Fuck, why was I acting like a nut case without his head screwed on straight? I was babbling things to her too fast. She had wrapped her arms around her waist and said that she was tired and thought she should lie down.
“Okay, baby. Come on, I’ll help you get settled.”
I stood and held my arm out hoping she’d step into my open arms but instead she sidestepped me and headed towards her room. I’ll admit, it stung and scared the hell out of me. I followed her and she flopped on the bed, shivering.
I sat on the side of the bed and took her shoes off. She was positioned on her side, curled up and bundled in her jacket and sweatshirt.
“Baby,” I whispered as I began rubbing her feet. They felt ice cold and I tried helping her out of her socks but she pulled them away from me. What the hell was going on?
I covered her up and kissed her on her cheek and adjusted the lights. “Baby, I’m going to check on you in a half hour. A nap will make you feel better.”
She didn’t respond but I knew she had heard me. Matt and Gina were sitting in the great room and stood when I entered.
“Is she okay?”
“I think she’s really tired. She’s shaking and feels cold.”
Matt frowned and put his arm around Gina and I started to walk them to the door when Gina said something that made everything make perfect sense.
“I hope she starts feeling better. She was really down and upset when we were shopping. She was rough on herself.”
“What? What do you mean?” I asked calmly. When she said that Sydney was feeling down, I grew more concerned. My stomach began to ache as I feared she might be having a bought of sub-drop. Granted, our play was pretty mild last night, but for someone who has known nothing but pain lately, the pleasure and play may have been much more intense to her. Matt was equally concerned. He tilted her chin to look up at him.
“Gina pet, be specific.”
“She was upset and felt thrown away today. She was near tears several times and ended up crying when I suggested she get some sexy lingerie for you guys. She’s afraid that she was just another notch and that she wasn’t desirable.”
Gina quickly covered her mouth and looked like she had just put it together too. Matt pulled her into a hug. It wasn’t Gina’s fault but right now I had a vulnerable young lady that was scared, confused and hurting in all sorts of ways. To make matters worse, she didn’t understand it herself. I headed back to her room. She wasn’t just tired, she was dropping. Her body and mind got a taste of the euphoric bliss of pleasurable play and being cared for and instead of nurturing her and comforting her, I was a prick sent her off shopping. How stupid could I be? I should have known better.
I pushed the door open and stared at an empty bed. Matt was right behind me and he walked over to the sitting room while I went over to the bathroom. The bathroom door was part way open with the light on. I knocked softly and called her name but didn’t get a response.
“Baby, I’m coming in.” I pushed the door open to find the bathroom was empty.
I turned to see Matt glancing back at the sitting area. She wasn’t in there. She couldn’t get under the bed. Windows looked secure. She certainly didn’t walk past us. I was stumped and walked back towards Matt when I froze. I glanced in the direction of the walk-in closet. The door was ajar giving way to darkness. Sydney is scared of closets and the dark.
No.
She wouldn’t go in there, would she?
&n
bsp; I pushed the closet door open and flipped on the light and saw my fragile kitten. My baby was curled up against the wall, sitting on Anthony’s shoes. Her legs were bent at the knees and her arms were wrapped around her legs. She was trying to make herself as small as possible. Her head was resting on top of her knees as she was rocking herself and clutching to a shirt. Anthony’s shirt. Tears were running down her face.
“Baby, I’m right here.”
I crouched down in front of her. My heart broke into a million pieces seeing her like this. Matt stood in the doorway and I held a hand up so he wouldn’t come in further. While I didn’t think Matt scared Sydney, I knew that she gets nervous around men and she was sitting in a closet, that she’s scared of, feeling things that were confusing and scaring her. I didn’t want Matt standing in the doorway blocking her exit, making her feel even more trapped.
“Baby, I’m going to come sit beside you. I’m not going to hurt you. But you already know that, don’t you?”
I knew that she wouldn’t answer me and that was okay. I just wanted her to listen and hear me and know that I was there. When I edged closer to her, I could see that her hand was also clutching a small bag of M&M’s that had a yellow piece of paper attached to it. I knew it was one of Anthony’s pictures. She was lost and I was going to help her. I never took my eyes off her but I knew that Matt was still close and would do what he could to help.
“Matt, please go get Anthony.”
I knew that Matt could tell that it was a delicate situation and that I needed a calm Anthony and not the Anthony that he had been arguing with.
I moved shoes out of the way and sat next to her so that the right side of my body was touching her left side. I knew Sydney had dropped and now seemed to be in shock. She was in body and mind shut down mode. I understood enough about shock to know emotionally she was maxed out and now her body was taking over to protect itself. I just kept talking to her and made sure that any movements I made were slow. I didn’t want to make this worse.
I heard feet jogging down the hall towards us and then Anthony appeared in the doorway with Matt behind him. He looked at Sydney and I knew he felt the same pain that I was feeling for her. He didn’t bother moving shoes and sat down on them next to Sydney.
“Sunshine.”
Anthony’s tone was soft and he wasted no time with scooping her up and pulling her to sit between his legs. His legs surrounded her and he wrapped his arms around her. I looked over at movement in the doorway. Matt was sitting down on the floor close to the door. He and I exchanged glances at Anthony’s interaction with Sydney.
“It’s okay, sunshine. I have you. Try to relax and calm down. We’re not going anywhere.”
Anthony made his arms lax and allowed her some give to still rock herself until she felt better and didn’t need to anymore. Every few minutes he’d kiss the top of her head and verbally reminded her that he was right there.
“She’s cold, Anth.”
Anthony nodded and let go of her for a brief moment to pull his shirt off. He lifted the back of her long sleeve shirt up and scooted closer to her so his skin was touching hers. He then draped his warm shirt over her arms and legs. Soon Sydney had stopped rocking herself and the tears stopped. She had turned sideways and was curled up against him. Matt didn’t say anything but I knew he was thinking the same thing I was about Anthony and Sydney. They just fit perfectly.
Sydney stayed in his arms and let him rub on her. I knew he was helping her warm up. She was already much better than she had been. Matt and I watched every move Sydney made. She wasn’t shaking anymore and looked peaceful sitting in Anthony’s embrace.
“Sunshine, can you talk to me?”
Sydney opened and closed her hand on his abdomen and it was then that I noticed that she practically had her hand on his scar. Her hand was inches from it and she might have even grazed it. I was waiting for Anthony to flip out. I glanced over at Matt and he watched with wide eyes as Anthony’s breathing picked up.
“Does it hurt?” Sydney asked with a gentle voice.
I looked down at her hand to see her tracing Anthony’s scar. Holy fuck. Did he not even realize she was touching it? Anthony never lets anyone touch it and he doesn’t even talk about it. Matt and I have been best friends with him for fifteen years and we don’t know how it happened or when. It’s a hard limit for him. Anything regarding it was off limits and it was on his Irons play card. Yet, here was Sydney asking him about it while she touched it.
I knew he wouldn’t hurt her but I worried he’d freak out and then it would upset or scare her. Anthony’s eye’s were shut, probably trying to keep calm. I knew if Anthony started to lose it, that I could get Sydney out of his arms quick enough.
He opened his eyes and tilted her chin upward to look at him. He looked around in her eyes for a few moments. I knew she affected him.
“Sometimes.”
Sydney continued to touch the scar and then asked him if he was awake when he got it. At first I was confused because how the fuck could a human being not be awake through that?
“I was awake for most of it. I got warm and then passed out.”
He understood perfectly what she was asking. Sydney nodded again while Anthony continued to rub on her arm. She brought her hand to her lips, kissed a few fingers and then placed it back over his scar. She was pulling stuff out of him that Matt and I have never been able to do. She was doing it effortlessly and he was giving her everything.
Anthony was rubbing gently over one of her wrists and seemed lost. Sydney turned her wrist over and pulled his thumb over the worst looking wrist scar.
“I was awake for most of this one. Then I started seeing blotchy spots and got warm before I passed out.”
Anthony looked dazed and wonder stuck. He knew exactly what she was referring to. He bent his head and kissed the scar on her wrist. It was like the two of them were speaking a language all of their own.
The two of them click so easily because they each have a past full of pain and they understand the feelings the other one has. I looked over at Matt and knew he had just pieced their connection together too. Maybe subconsciously I’ve known that for a while but until he was called on it, I hadn’t let it surface in my head.
Sydney was doing better and had leaned her head back on Anthony and had shut her eyes. He had his arms wrapped around her and was holding her against him as if his life depended upon it. Matt and I got up and left them alone. I knew she was perfectly safe in his arms.
“Is Sydney okay?” Gina asked when we got to the kitchen.
“Yes. Anthony is with her now and she’s right where she needs to be,” I told her.
Matt let out a small laugh and pulled Gina to him. “And Anthony’s right where he needs to be too. Come on Gina, pet. Let’s go home.”
I walked them out and Matt said he’d call me later to check on everyone. When I got back inside, I ordered a pizza for delivery. Cheese pizza. Sydney loves cheese pizza. I took some water and another small bag of M&M’s back to the closet and sat down across from them. He still had her in his arms but the two of them were looking better. Anthony held the candy out in his hand and let her pick out the colors she wanted.
After we eat dinner, the three of us need to sit down and talk about last night and this morning and what happened this afternoon. Sydney’s never experienced sub-drop before. What worried me most about the dropping was that we didn’t have a really intense play session, but to her it was huge. That really worried me because I began to wonder when the last time was that she’s experienced pleasurable sex. Has it all been pain? She’s twenty-seven years old. We had a talk ahead of us and as rough of a day as it was, none of us were going to bed until we talked. This was too important. I didn’t want her to feel at fault or confused over what happened.
Once we ate we went to the great room to talk and unwind. She talked a little during dinner but for the most part she kept her head down. Anthony seemed on edge as well. After all, Sydney had just co
ntinuously touched his scar and asked him some personal questions about it. And he just let it all roll right off his tongue. She was good for him. The two were perfect for one another. But before I started to push Anthony into talking about the possibility of that, we needed to get Sydney calmed down. She didn’t know or understand what had happened to her this afternoon.
“Eyes, baby. Sydney, we need to talk about today. We have some things to explain to you.” I exchanged glances with Anthony. I hoped Anthony wouldn’t deny anything I was about to share with Sydney. We promised each other complete honesty.
“It’s true that Anthony and I have taken part in many scenes where we’ve co-topped over the years. But I’m being perfectly honest with you Sydney when I tell you that you made us feel things last night and this morning that neither of us have felt. Nor were we prepared to feel.”
I had maintained eye contact with Sydney the entire time, but now glanced up at Anthony. He looked tense that I was sharing his feelings, but it was the truth and she needed and deserved the truth.
“I wasn’t sure what was going on with me and I am pretty sure Anthony was just as lost. I thought if Matt came over, Anthony and I could talk to him some and that Gina could offer her ear to you. Matt suggested that you and Gina could go shopping and I wasn’t thinking and agreed to it. When Gina said you were upset, cold and depressed, I knew what was going on. It sounded so much like some of the stuff Gina would go through with sub-drop.”
Sydney frowned and started to look down but caught herself and looked back up at me. She looked more confused. We’d help her with this.
“Baby, say what’s on your mind.” I encouraged while Anthony stroked her arm.
“I don’t understand though. I’m…I’m not your sub. I know you’re training and working with me, but…”
I cut her off. I knew she was going to go down the road of saying she wasn’t a good sub or worthy of being with a good Dom. She didn’t need to voice that kind of stuff right now. She didn’t need any more negativity.
“Sydney, it has nothing to do with what Dom you belong to. I realize that even though our play last night and even this morning was very light to Anthony and I, that it was very intense to you. I think it’s been a while since you’ve had pleasure. I should have thought of that and I didn’t. Because I wasn’t clear, I allowed you out of our sight, when I should have kept you right beside us all afternoon. Does that make sense, baby?”