by SGD Singh
Jax raised her eyebrows at Kelakha, and he shrugged.
“And you're wrong, Jax,” Silas continued. “I do care that she died.” His eyes glowed for an instant, like wind on blue coals. “But her death doesn't make me feel sadness. It makes me proud to have known her, to have been her friend, for however briefly. Varina died saving our entire realm. She died the best kind of death.”
Aquila stared at Silas, then turned to Asha with tears in his eyes.
“So that's it?” Jax said. “It's over? We all just go home, or wherever the hell we go?”
“Over might be a little strong,” Kelakha said. “Our realm's still infested with Underworlders, even though the portals are destroyed. Sorry.”
Asha and Silas both looked to the sky in silence, and Jax felt her guts twist in anxiety.
“It's not over,” Silas finally said. “The portals are destroyed, true, but this fight isn't over. It won't be over until the Witches are found.”
“And they're hidden somehow,” Asha said, her voice full of frustration. “Just like they've always been hidden.” Her bloodshot eyes flashed, and Aquila tightened his grip around her shoulders.
“Okay, that I can help with,” Jax said.
She stood and brushed sand off her pants in an automatic, completely futile gesture. The wind would cover her in the fine grains again the moment she stepped above the ridge.
Asha smiled at her, then closed her eyes as she leaned on Aquila's shoulder.
Jax took a few steps toward the blazing surface, then turned. “You guys coming? We won't find anyone sitting here not grieving the happily heroic fallen.”
Kelakha jumped up and fell into step at her side, and they climbed out of the valley and back into the sand-filled wind.
“He's not as unfeeling as you think,” Kelakha said after a few minutes. “He's just… he's at peace with the universe.”
“Must be nice.”
They walked in silence, Kelakha staying between Jax and the wind, protecting her automatically, the way he always did.
As he always would? Jax wondered if it was selfish of her to feel such hope.
As they approached the safe house, Jax saw the unmistakable figure of Lexi, standing with her hands on her hips in front of the door. Jax was sure she could see the blonde warrior's scowl even from a distance.
Ursala stood a few paces from her, leaning on the mound of sand that hid the side of the safe house's entrance.
Asha and Aquila flew over Jax, with Silas' cat carried gently in Aquila's talons. They all shifted to land gracefully, not breaking stride as they approached the safe house.
“Well, isn't this just beautiful?” Lexi called, loud enough for Jax to hear from fifty yards away. “Half the fucking Guard dies, and you guys decide to just, I don't know, wander around an endless wasteland without telling anyone shit about shit?”
Asha ignored her and ran to Ursala, wrapping her arms around him. Jax felt guilt and sadness wash over her in fresh waves. Of course Asha had Seen that Uma and Dhevan were gone.
Tears tracked lines along Ursala's sand-covered cheeks as he engulfed Asha in a bearhug, and Jax turned her gaze away before her heart broke beyond repair.
Silas gave Lexi a warm smile that could've melted a glacier. “Lexi, we—”
“Oh, save it!” she snapped. “Kenda and Koko took Kai that way.” She flopped her arm in a direction that was unclear. “They wouldn't let anyone except Zaiden and Satish go with them. Apparently, it's a Navajo thing. Four men. No mourning allowed. Don't make that face, Jax, you'll disturb the spirit, or something. Do you want to disturb the spirit?” Lexi punched in the code for the door with violent efficiency. “I didn't think so. Fuck!”
She disappeared into the darkness, leaving everyone but Ursala staring after her.
Jax tried not to cry, but the tears wouldn't stop.
She hoped that Kai's spirit, if it was disturbed, would forgive her grief.
Chapter 25
The blistering sunlight was fading by the time Kenda and Koko laid their brother on a blanket in a shady patch of sand, and covered him with another. They spoke softly to him in a language Zaiden didn't understand, and Kai waved them away, coughing.
Satish hung back and watched Kai with haunted eyes, and Zaiden's own heart filled with deeper sorrow at the sight.
Kai reached out for Satish, the badger tattoo on his arm visible beneath his sleeve, and Satish rushed to his side. Kenda and Koko stepped back, stoic-faced, but not making eye contact with anyone, while Kai said goodbye. Satish, his colorful hair almost white with sand, leaned close, their foreheads touching, until Kai's arms fell limp at his sides and his chest stilled.
No one spoke.
Kenda and Koko removed their clothes, their faces like stone statues as they began to cover their skin and long hair with the ash they carried in pouches.
Zaiden and Satish watched in silence as the brothers removed Kai's clothes, washed his skin with holy water, then dressed him in a clean, new set of combat Guard clothes, reciting what Zaiden was sure were prayers. The language was beautiful, even though he understood none of the words.
They settled Kai's personal weapons next to him, returned his rings to his fingers, and straightened his clothes one last time before securing the blanket over him.
Kenda nodded to Satish, and the four of them knelt together to lift the stretcher. Zaiden steeled himself to remain calm for the sake of Kai's spirit's journey.
The stars came out, so bright in the dark desert that Zaiden felt he could reach out and touch them, as they continued to walk farther from the safe house. The only sound was Kenda and Koko's prayers, which carried easily on the desert night breeze, and Zaiden lost track of all time and place on the endless ocean of sand.
Finally, as if guided by the stars themselves, Kenda and Koko halted in a low place between two hills, and the four of them lowered Kai's body to the sand.
Not breaking the flow of their prayer, Koko lifted two folded shovels and handed them to Satish and Zaiden who took them silently. They moved a few paces away from the brothers and began digging.
The sand was soft, yielding easily at first, the grains seeping back into the hole. They dug deeper until the earth was packed like dry mud and cold beneath the weight of the golden sand. Zaiden didn't look at Satish as he climbed into the grave, piling sand along its edge. He needed to give his brother space to concentrate on the task, knowing that his sympathy would only destroy Satish's efforts to remain stoic.
Zaiden instead let his mind wander to inevitable thoughts of Lexi. Her fierce grace, her unlimited courage. The feeling of her skin against his. The memory set his every cell singing with something he had no words to describe. He didn't regret leaving his home. He would give up everything a thousand times over for the mere hope of her touch.
Once the hole was as deep as their shoulders, Zaiden and Satish climbed out of the grave and returned to stand with Kenda and Koko, who didn't seem to notice their presence. The brothers continued their prayers, the ashes on their bodies transforming them to two ghosts in the starlight.
Finally, they lifted Kai's body once more. Zaiden and Satish spread their wings and lowered Kai gently into the grave. The prayers continued, but Zaiden led Satish back to the safe house, leaving Kenda and Koko to give their brother's spirit one last farewell without an audience.
Chapter 26
Lexi entered the crowded mess hall, joining Ariella and Ursala at a steel table as far from Asha, Silas, and Zaiden as she could get, but still only a few seats down.
Sashi had sedated Nidhan until his shattered knee healed, and Lexi was relieved to be able to put off facing his anger for a few more days. She remembered his bleeding injuries, his receding figure outside Central Headquarters, and shivered, knowing now that he'd been walking in spite of his injuries. His anger was beyond anything she could imagine.
“It's nearly the winter solstice,” Asha was saying. “Missing Underworlders and the longest night of the year all o
ver again, just like in Punjab.”
“What can you tell us, Silas?” Ursala called across the table. He threw a pea at Kelakha, who caught it without looking. “When can we expect to leave this,” Ursala waved his hand at the exposed piping in the gray ceiling, “mind-boggling example of a Feng Shui master's nightmare?”
Lexi thought Silas looked upset, or at least as upset as a perpetually calm person could look. “Whatever the Asura have always done to hide their Witches,” he said, “is what they're doing now. One thing we can be sure of…”
He lowered his spoon and waited as the mess hall grew quiet. Only Lexi continued to eat, making as much noise as her metal spoon would allow.
“The Asura had powerful help from the lowest realms when they tried to conquer Satya this week,” Silas announced. “And even though they failed to stop us from destroying the portals, whatever it is, it's still here.”
“Let me guess,” Lexi said. “You can't See exactly what it is. Or where.”
Lexi.
Lexi tried not to flinch at Zaiden's voice in her mind, its beautiful sound like a kick to the heart. She refused to look at his shining gold skin, even if his touch was her first waking thought every morning. A fact that made her feel like punching something.
She'd been training harder than usual lately though, and punching wasn't helping.
What, Zaiden? What?
Silas is doing his best.
It's not good enough. We're hiding in a hole in the desert, while whatever the fuck captured Ranya is still out there.
Asha threw a pea at Lexi, and she scowled at her best friend as it hit her forehead. “Nothing has happened yet,” Asha said. “We're regrouping. The civilian leaders are settling in. Sort of. Okay, not really. Jax?”
Jax spoke up. “I'm making progress. It took some time to set everything up, but I think by tonight we should have enough data to send a team out.”
Lexi started to volunteer, but Zaiden beat her to it.
“I volunteer to lead the first team,” he said, and Asha nodded.
Lexi leaned back, running her hands through her hair, barely resisting the urge to pull it out.
Why the fuck did you just do that?
Because I know you'll stay if I go.
Lexi laughed, still refusing to look at him. Oh, you're keeping me out of harm's way now, is that it?
No.
What then?
Zaiden was silent, but his overwhelming emotion communicated itself to her anyway, even as he struggled to hide it. She felt his yearning to match the acute pain he felt for making her suffer.
Lexi finally looked at Zaiden, locking eyes across the long table.
There was nothing to say that they didn't already feel.
Lexi got up and left the mess hall, sure she would lose her mind if she stayed a moment longer.
She walked along the dim maze of tunnels, but it wasn't enough. She picked up her pace until she was jogging, throwing herself down each staircase she saw, running down, down, down. She would put as much space between herself and Zaiden as she could, and it didn't matter where she was going.
Eventually Lexi came to a dead end. She skidded to a halt at a door at the bottom of a narrow stairway. It opened into some kind of storage room, and she shut herself inside and slid to the floor, leaning her head on her arms. She probably should have shifted and taken to the skies instead of trapping herself under tons of cement in the dark, but it was too late for that.
Once her pounding heart calmed, Lexi noticed the stifling heat wasn't just coming from her body, and she lifted her head. Of course. She was in the weapons forgery. Or, at least, a forgery warehouse. Metal shelves were stacked with colorful ammunition, boxes of holy water grenades, crates of arrows, and hundreds of stakes.
Lexi jumped to her feet, curiosity outweighing her self-pity in an instant.
There were boxes of revolvers not yet configured to their owner's touch. One entire aisle of giant shelves held nothing but thick sheets of mystery-steel, then there were shelves with slabs of stone in every color, raw and uncut.
Lexi wandered the aisles, running her hands along the contents of each container she could reach, feeling her mood improve with each step. Multiple Headquarters may have been destroyed, but The Guard wasn't without what mattered most for keeping Satya safe.
A smaller crate lay alone on a low shelf, and Lexi stopped, her attention caught by the Eternity Mark kits inside.
She reached toward the box. If only it were that simple…
“There you are,” a voice called, and Lexi whirled to face Nidhan.
“Asha said you left,” he explained when Lexi didn't speak. “I thought you might be here.”
Nidhan wore a gray T-shirt and black sweatpants, his long hair pulled back in a messy bun at his neck, still damp from a shower.
“What's the password?” she said, not recognizing her own voice.
He smiled, and Lexi couldn't breathe. “Wraiths can't get in here, you know.” He shrugged. “But it's Ray Toro.”
Lexi absently wondered if a Wraith would pronounce the name that way, with the r's rolled, but her brain short-circuited the next second as Nidhan moved forward without even a hint of a limp and wrapped Lexi in his warm embrace, and she felt herself relax, melting against him with a sigh as the anxiety of the past week evaporated.
They stood with their arms wrapped tightly around each other, and Lexi trembled, breathing in his clean scent and feeling his solid, safe warmth. She promised herself she would never let him go.
“Does this mean you forgive me?” she said finally.
Nidhan was quiet for a moment, then said, “They didn't teach us about dinosaurs in school.”
“What?” Lexi's eyes flew open, but she didn't move her cheek from his chest.
“Yep,” he said. “We had no idea that dinosaurs ever existed on this planet. I was sure Asha was messing with me the first time she mentioned them.”
“What were they teaching in biology? Or, whatever—kinder-garten?”
“Math,” Nidhan said. “Yeah, basically math, math, and more math.”
“Wow.” Lexi closed her eyes and sighed. If Nidhan wanted to talk about shit that made no sense, that was perfectly fine with her. As long as he was talking to her.
“No sabretooth tigers, no mammoth, basically no anything halfway interesting.”
“At least you didn't have to listen to endless songs about always saying please and how to brush your teeth.”
Nidhan laughed, and Lexi tightened her grip around him, relishing the feeling of his laugher vibrating through her chest.
“I guess what I'm saying,” he sighed, “is that people make decisions based on their individual knowledge. Everyone does their best with what they're given, what they've experienced.”
“Okay.”
“Some would call a person who grew up in a tribe in the Amazon jungle ignorant,” Nidhan continued. “Because he would know nothing about politics, or movies, or popular music, or science, or history, right?”
“You're assuming that.”
“But most of us would not survive one week, maybe even one day, left in their jungle. So who's really ignorant? Them or us?”
“So what you're saying,” Lexi leaned back to look up at Nidhan, and he met her eyes with his own, “is that you forgive us for lying to you, and trying to keep you safe, because we were too dumb to know what an insulting mistake it was?”
“Exactly,” Nidhan said, kissing her forehead. “You were all doing what you thought was best based on your limited experience and knowledge of the non-Jodha type human.”
Lexi continued to look at him until Nidhan met her eyes, and then she ran her fingers through his hair and pulled his face toward hers. Her lips brushed his, like butterfly wings, as she whispered, “I'm not sure you're correct about our pure motives. But I'll take it.”
Nidhan's lips met hers, his eyes closing as he abandoned all pretense of self-control.
Lexi lost herself in
his kiss, her desire flaring as Nidhan's arms tightened around her, crushing her against him. His lips and his hands were like icy fire along her skin. She raked a hand along his wide, muscled back and pulled his shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor. He lifted her as if she were weightless, setting her onto a crate, and she wrapped her legs around him to hold his hips against her own. Her hands trailed along the contours of his firm muscles while his lips made trails of tingling heat along her neck, her collar bone.
Her heart pounded as her hands found their way beneath his waistband, pushing the fabric lower, and Nidhan groaned as she grasped the perfect swells of his backside and squeezed with greedy longing.
“Wait,” he panted, his eyes dark with desire as he stepped back, his hipbones making her pulse race. “We're… where are we again?”
“Together,” Lexi whispered, discarding her jacket, and hooking his hips with her legs to bring him forward and against her again.
“I shouldn't be… kissing you.” Nidhan shook his head, causing his long hair to fall over his broad shoulders. “It's not right. We shouldn't… we can't…”
Lexi held up an Eternity Mark kit. “Marry me, Nidhan.”
He froze, staring at the metal in her hand.
Lexi slammed the end of the metal device against her wrist, feeling it latch on. Gears shifted as it extracted her blood. When it released her skin, she held the device out to Nidhan. When he didn't take it, she reached forward and put it into the pocket of his sweatpants.
“Now your turn,” Lexi said, taking his hand and slapping a fresh kit into his palm.
He held it to his wrist, as if in a dream, but when the blood was taken he seemed to wake up. He took a step back from her, but Lexi snatched the Eternity Mark from him and dropped it in her pocket.
“Lexi,” Nidhan said softly, his voice hoarse with desire. “You know I would marry you right now, this very minute. You know there is nothing in the world that I wouldn't do for you. But…”