by AnnChristine
Amanda downed the drink in one last gulp, burped then saluted with glass in hand the empty space where the balding man who sent the drink her way had been sitting.
"See, I'm just dandy," she slurred the words a bit.
Lilly was pretty sure Amanda exaggerated. But a huge shiver raced down her spine, making her hug herself and rub her arms to generate a little warmth.
"All right, you win," Lilly sipped the drink tentatively through the straw, hoping all the while Amanda was right about this.
Amanda bent down, her smile a bit lopsided. "Everything okey dokey?" she asked, snatching a potato skin at the same time. "Drinking like this makes me sooo--ravenously hungry."
Amanda always had a way of bringing her back to reality. She tended to be too hard on herself--a perfectionist. She was cursed--doomed--fated to always expect the worst. She didn't like the realization she was a pessimist, a negative doomsayer of the worst sort.
~ * ~
In a dark corner of the club, Bentley sipped his whiskey, watching and studying Lilly. He smoothed back his hair, knowing the women liked it a bit long and rakish. He hashed over all the ways he could get Lilly alone. Each plan had a fatal flaw. That flaw was Amanda. He had to find a way to get rid of the annoying roommate without bringing unwanted attention to himself. The man sending the drinks to the girls gave him an idea.
And if they accept the drinks, I'm halfway there.
Lilly was more beautiful tonight than he'd ever seen her. His heart skipped a couple of beats. He looked at the blond sitting next to him. With a trim figure and classic feature, the girl could be a Vogue model. But she was too ditsy to make anything of her life. He knew now, he didn't want a trophy wife. He needed someone he could have a conversation with, someone he could share his innermost thoughts with and someone he could be silent with.
Kasi tugged on his arm. "Dance?" she asked, wetting her ruby red lips and giving him what she must have thought was a sexy wink. If he hadn't seen Lilly, the gestures might have worked.
A bit too roughly, he brushed her hand from his arm. "No, not now," he said, still brooding about Lilly.
"You're not much fun," she said, her lips turning downward she immediately searched for someone to take his place. "Since you're not much fun right now, mind if I ask someone else?"
Before he could answer, she sashayed her pert little butt to another table, bending over, placing one hand on her hip, she stared at him then turned to ask the same question of another man. He looked tall with dark hair. He wore a suit and sported a mustache. Bentley was sure the man could see a huge amount of cleavage. She'd make some man a damn good trophy wife.
Bentley just didn't care.
Moping once again, he watched Lilly sip the drink, the hurricane. He wished he were one step closer to having Lilly in his bed and his life, but he wasn't. Tonight he would leave the club without his date and without Lilly. Lord, but he had been celibate since that horrible date so long ago.
Waving for the waiter to bring him his tab, he reached into his wallet for his credit card. A few minutes later he strolled from the bar, a frustrated feeling permeating within. He really didn't know how to achieve his goals. He'd made too damn many mistakes.
~ * ~
A feeling of deja vu wafted over Jacob. The evening before April first and he expected a call from Lilly, but it was midnight and he had to get some sleep. Waiting up wasn't an option. Besides he would be in Sacramento in the morning and he would see Lilly then. He strode into the kitchen and poured a glass of milk then decided he wasn't going to sleep anyway. Dressing and packing quickly, a few minutes later he was in his car and on the road.
I'm crazy. I know. But I have to tell her.
The sun rose over the mountains. The day looked to be a gorgeous spring day. Jacob hoped for Lilly's approval. He was about to become engaged. The girl, Sara, wasn't his usual type, which amazed him. And that very fact had attracted him to her. She was a lot like Lilly. She wasn't his usual blond-bimbo-bomb-shell girl. She had a brain and she wasn't afraid to use it. Sara wasn't quite as smart as Lilly and she wasn't as vivacious either.
I wasn't looking for another Lilly.
What am I looking for then?
Ah, but that was a valid question. What was he looking for? He wanted a lasting relationship. He wanted a best friend for life. He needed to be able to have a logical, realistic and intelligent conversation with the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with.
He turned off the main drag and onto a narrow little street lined with older model homes.
Home sweet home--it wasn't just a cliché. The words meant everything to him, and he meant to find a way to have just that--home sweet home.
Lilly's little white house only lacked the matching picket fence for it to be a classic. He remembered how excited she'd been the day she and Amanda had moved. Stopping the car in the driveway, he stared at the house, breathed in deeply and gave a silent little prayer to the gods above he could pull this off. For some reason he didn't just want but he needed Lilly's approval. If she understood and accepted, the next step would be to bring Sara to meet Lilly. And Lilly would have to approve of Sara.
To his surprise Lilly stepped from the front door. She had big fuzzy slippers and baggy pajamas joined with an oversize t-shirt. Her hair was swept back into a ponytail.
He watched her mouth the words "Oh My God…"
Chuckling inside and feeling his happiness flow from the inside out, he stepped from the car and waved. He felt like an idiot. His grin must have reached from one ear to the next.
"Hi there and a good, good morning to you." He smoothed back his hair and cocked his head to one side as if the gesture would make Lilly a bit clearer.
"You're early." She backed up a step. "I wasn't expecting you. I'm a mess." She turned as if she wanted to run.
"Couldn't sleep last night so I decided to get a head start on the trip." He wanted to pull her into his arms and give her the hug he been anticipating all night long.
"Well…" She stepped toward him, seeming to give the thought of running inside and slamming the door in his face good riddance. Hesitancy seemed to be the main component of her demeanor.
"Well what?" He held out his arms to her. "It's been too long, Lilly, way too long. Come." He thought of giving her a quick kiss too. But hey that might ruin their brother/sister relationship.
"No coffee. Haven't had the time to brew any." She blew an errant piece of hair from her face then tucked it in behind her ear.
"I'll put some on. You know I make a better cup of coffee than you." He laughed then shrugged his shoulders, totally unsure of himself.
"Braggart," Lilly said with a smile that lit up her face. Good golly, but if it weren't for Sara, he wanted to fall in love with this woman. But he knew first hand how dangerous falling in love with your finest buddy could be.
"But you love me anyway." Jacob stuck his hands in his pockets to keep himself from grabbing Lilly and freaking her out.
Lilly had reached him by now. She flew into his arms and hugged him as if she never wanted to let go. Man oh man was his imagination in overdrive. He was the one who never wanted to let go. He quickly took his hands from his pockets and wrapped his arms around her, holding her as close as he dared. He always had the craziest turn-about feelings when he saw her.
How on earth could he forget Sara so quickly? He wasn't forgetting Sara. He was just acknowledging a lasting friendship.
"Of course I love you. I always have and always will." She roughed his hair and gave him a sisterly peck on the cheek. "But not in that way. I don't think I will ever love anyone."
Jacob realized suddenly how much he really did care for Lilly. He'd chosen a girl just like Lilly because he didn't think he could ever have Lilly. Settling for second best didn't sit well with him. The best--the first choice--that was what he wanted. He needed Lilly. But he'd made promises to Sara, promises he wasn't sure he wanted to undo. At the time he hadn't thought of Sara as second best. S
ara made his heart throb and dance. She made him need to pull her into his arms and make love to her.
"Come on. Let me get dressed and you make the coffee. I'll be down before it can start to perk." Lilly was out of his arms and headed up the front porch before he could blink.
"Need any help? Getting dressed?" Once again Jacob stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, knowing this trip he had to come to terms with all of his feelings.
"Jacob!" Lilly turned around, surprise forming on her face. "You are not acting normally."
"A guy can try. Besides what is normal," he said with a half-hearted little shrug, immediately regretting his words and irreverent thoughts. They had tried dating and everything had gone wrong then they'd vowed to never try it again. He knew a relationship would end up in disaster.
The vow took place a lifetime ago.
The voice in his head was overriding his rational thoughts. He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply in an effort to calm his racing hormones. She always made him feel this way, but Sara…
Sara did too.
"As long as you are just joking around. I'll meet you in the kitchen for coffee and breakfast. Are you hungry?" She slanted him what he hoped was a flirtatious look and a huge smile.
"Starving." He wasn't thinking about food. He made a mental note to take a cold shower before he let his wayward thoughts flood from his mouth. Think before you speak was applicable but think before you act had more meaning at the moment. "What's in your fridge?"
"Maybe you can scramble a few eggs too. Oh, Amanda isn't home today. You can have the kitchen all to yourself." Lilly winked at him and disappeared up the steps to her room.
What did that wink mean? He didn't want the kitchen all to himself. He wanted to share it with Lilly. And wow--he couldn't take his eyes away from her curvaceous little butt.
Jacob put his hand over his pounding heart then set about in the kitchen, humming and rearranging dishes and paraphernalia so he would have room to cook. In only a few minutes, he had the coffee perking away and the eggs scrambled and set in the microwave in hopes of staying warm.
Sitting at the table and sipping on his coffee, he let his mind wander backwards and tried to put together the pieces of the puzzle. Why didn't their feeble attempts at dating work? If he could figure that out, he might be able to devise a recipe for success.
They were nothing alike.
"Umm…smells good and I'm famished."
Lilly waltzed through the door, towel drying her hair not one speck of makeup on her beautiful face. He had always loved the light spattering of freckles she had across her nose. Her eyes so green, they mirrored an Irish hillside. She had the cutest little body and her legs, encased in skinny black jeans, seemed to go on forever.
Once again he was forced to focus on the moment and push his fantasies about Lilly to the back of his mind. He rose and set the plates on the table then poured her a cup of coffee.
"Have anything planned for today?" Jacob asked, thinking about romancing the beautiful spring day with Lilly at his side.
Sara, don't forget about Sara, you jackass. You were going to tell Lilly all about Sara.
"Thought we could drive down by the river, maybe have a little picnic, reminisce," Lilly said after she'd swallowed a bite of egg. "These are the best you have ever made." She pointed her fork at the food.
"Thank you. But I didn't do anything differently."
"April fools--naught. They are really good."
"I would think we were past the trickery. The old spider in your hair has run its course, right?"
For a few seconds Lilly drummed her fork on the table, watching him with a strange expression on her face. "Is there something bothering you?"
His heart did a huge flip-flop and his gut clenched. He grimaced before saying, "No, why?" She could always read his thoughts. Once, that had felt scary to him, but after a time he had grown used to her uncanny abilities.
"You seem far away, unfocused, I don't know. It's like you are trying to tell me something but you don't know how."
The ESP clearly thrummed around the room. She knew his thoughts before he did. "You, my dear, are very intuitive."
"Jacob, I've known you forever. To me you read like an open book. I know something is bothering you."
"I did leave in the middle of the night because I had something I wanted to tell you--run by you--get your opinion. But now I don't. My thoughts were premature and that hesitation and uncertainty is what you are seeing." His muscles across his back tensed. He rubbed his neck to bide for time.
"I'm not understanding what you are trying to tell me." Lilly scratched her head and gave him her I think you are crazy face.
"Want to run anything by you. I've changed my mind." Jacob turned his back to Lilly not wanting her to see the expression on his face. He schooled his features before turning back to her.
"Anything I said? Or didn't say?" Lilly asked.
No kiddo, just looking at you. "Suffice it to say, I'm just not ready to talk about it. When I've made up my mind you, will be the first person I will tell."
Lilly smiled and reaching for his hands, "Promise?" she cocked her head to one side as if inquiring into his most inner most thoughts.
"We are the best of friends, always will be. We have never kept secrets and I'm not going to start now," Jacob said. "Just give me time to put all this into perspective."
"I saw Bentley last night at the club."
That statement blindsided him and forced all other thoughts from his head. "He didn't try anything."
"No, I don't think he knew I saw him but it really creeped me out. Sometimes I feel as if I'm being followed and I turn around and no one is there. And sometimes I turn around and he is there."
"I want you to be extra careful--don't take any chances." Jacob felt goose bumps rise on his arms.
"I have been. Amanda was there--with me. She is so carefree. I wish I could be that way. I'm so tired of looking over my shoulder afraid I will see him or that he will try again."
If he married Lilly, he could protect her from all the Bentleys of the world. That's not a reason to marry.
I love her. That is a reason. But I love Sara too. Everything is different with Sara.
We don't work that way.
You haven't tried in a long time.
He couldn't just blurt out that he wanted to date her. To see if they could build a relationship.
Why not?
Because she didn't know he had unexplored feelings for her.
So tell her.
Chapter Five
September 2011
From the top of the Eiffel Tower, with a three hundred sixty degree view, Lilly could see the entire city. Lilly closed her eyes and soaked in the smells and the sounds that were Paris.
"How are you, Lilly?"
OMG! "Bentley…" She stepped back her, hands shaking and her body trembling. She looked around searching for some way to escape. In the hoard of people there was nothing to do but talk to him
"Yes," he said his voice smooth, his hair perfect and his nails manicured.
"You scared the…"
Too refined, he could be twirling his mustache. Yes, she knew Bentley was here. Work brought them to the same places many times but each time he became bolder in his approach to her.