Lead Me From Temptation (Divine Darkness Book 1)

by Kris Calvert

  “How are you today?” he asked as he pulled a red apple from inside a drawer in his desk. “I hope you don’t mind. We had an emergency today and I didn’t get a chance to eat anything for lunch. Will this bother you?”

  I looked at the apple and thought of the one still sitting on my desk at work and the one that made me sick. “No, of course not.”

  “So tell me what’s been going on since we last talked at the hospital. You rushed out pretty quickly that day.”

  “Yes,” I said, thinking of Mike and the night before. I didn’t know how to begin. I couldn’t tell him everything I’d been seeing. I would get five days in the psych unit for sure. Instead, I decided to ask more general questions. “Dr. Nabi, do you think it’s crazy for people to see things that aren’t there?”

  “Give me an example.”

  “Say I saw a man. I even talked with him, but no one else…” I trailed off, suddenly rethinking my strategy.

  “Go on,” he said as he sliced off a piece of the apple and placed it in his mouth.

  “Well, what if no one else sees what you see?”

  “Are you talking to this person no one else sees?”

  I bit my lip and nodded as if I wanted it over quickly.

  “Are they talking back?”

  “It’s not a bunch of people or anything. It’s just one man. I met him, but when I described him to the others who were around they had no idea what I was talking about. And then the other day when we had the terrible storms, I was in the park talking to him and the maintenance guy saw me there, but not him. Last night I saw him again. And…I just don’t know.”

  “Does this person have a name?”

  “Mike.”

  “Like your father?”

  I’d never made the connection. My dad was Michael, not Mike. “I guess so. I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

  “Where does Mike live?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been there but I couldn’t tell you how I got there or how I got home. I’m pretty sure he lives near the library. At least that’s what I think. Weird, huh?”

  He nodded but didn’t confirm that I was crazy.

  “Do you talk with him out loud? Or in your head?”

  “What?” I asked with a laugh. “I’m not losing it, Dr. Nabi.” I said the words and then questioned the statement myself. He stared at me, waiting for my answer. “No, I don’t talk to him in my head. I don’t think he lives in my head. I can see him, hear him. I can even smell him.”

  “Do you feel that he controls your thoughts? What you feel?”

  “No. Of course not.”

  “Do you feel as if you can trust what you’re thinking? What you’re seeing?”

  I didn’t trust anything I was thinking or seeing. But I lied, knowing Dr. Nabi was asking me basic schizophrenia screening questions. “Yes.”

  “How have your nightmares been?”

  “I’m still having them but they’re different. It’s like they’ve crossed over into the waking moments of my life.”

  “Explain,” he said as he carved off another piece of apple.

  “The full tub.”

  “Yes.”

  “I—” I began my story and suddenly realized what I sounded like. I was giving Dr. Nabi every reason to think I was having a psychotic break.

  “Indie, it’s important that you tell me what’s going on. I can’t help you if you don’t.”

  “I think I’m just a big ball of anxiety right now. I’m leaving on Monday for Italy with my new job. It’s been a lot to take in and adjust to. I’ve lost two patients in one week, I visited my Aunt Sally and she’s not doing very well. I feel like my life falls apart in hunks like a glacier melting in the sun.”

  “Indie, you’ve been under a tremendous amount of stress. You don’t deal well with change, and you’ve changed many things in your life all at once. Do you think you should scale back and take on some of these new challenges a little bit at a time?”

  “That’s the funny thing, Dr. Nabi. My new job, working with my new boss and his son is the one thing that makes me feel good. I feel better, more alive, and saner than I have in a very long time. It’s like an escape from everything that’s plagued me for the past few years. My parent’s and Jacob’s death, Aunt Sally’s illness, me being in debt and juggling work and paying bills—I finally feel like I’ve worked through a lot of it.”

  “Be careful, Indie. There’s a big difference between working through those things and shoving them in a closet and forgetting about them for the moment.”

  I stood and paced the room. “Then tell me what to do. I don’t know if I’m going crazy or if I feel the most sane and centered I’ve ever been in my life.”

  “Please sit, Indie.” My anxious feelings were spilling over into my actions and Dr. Nabi quickly took the upper hand with me. “Are you sleeping?”

  I sat back down. “I think I am. I mean, I seem to wake up rested most mornings. I have a new place in the city. I haven’t stayed there yet, but I’m planning on staying there tonight.”

  “Why do you have a place in the city?”

  “It came with my job. I have a small apartment off of my office in case work runs late and I don’t want to drive back to Barlow.”

  “I see.”

  “Dr. Nabi. I need your help.” I could hear myself begging as I whined to him. “I’m leaving for Italy and I worry I might need something to deal with the anxiety since I’m going to be with my employer twenty-four seven.”

  “What do you want?”

  “I was feeling a little out of sorts the other night.”

  “Was this a night when you saw Mike?”

  “Yes.” I sighed afraid I’d said too much. “Anyway, I came home and took half—not even a whole—Klonopin.”

  “And?”

  “I calmed down. My boss showed up with dinner and I actually had a nice evening.”

  “That’s what you want? You want me to renew your prescription?”

  “I want you to tell me I’m not losing my mind.”

  He nodded and took another bite of his apple. I fidgeted in the chair and pulled at the hem of my navy skirt. Watching him eat it only made me feel twitchy and with each crunch of his teeth into the red skin and crisp slice I felt my nostrils flair.

  “Indie.” He swallowed and then took a deep breath. “I don’t think you’re losing your mind. But I do think you’re pushing yourself hard and maybe a little too fast.”

  I took a deep breath and focused my attention on the floor and away from his apple. “I don’t know any other way.” I said the words and knew them to be true. In the beginning I’d used work to get ahead. After Jacob’s suicide I used it to escape.

  “I worry that you could have a break if you continue to push yourself, Indie.”

  “My patients have always needed me more than I needed myself, Dr. Nabi. Surely you know what that’s like.”

  He nodded.

  “I just wish I could understand some things about myself. I wish I understood more about what was going on around me—you know, from a spiritual level.”

  He gave me an odd look and I knew I needed to guard my words. Part of what I loved about Dr. Nabi was that he was an atheist. Part of what I could never understand about him as a physician was that he was an atheist.

  “You know Indie, there’s a saying. Many sense the light in the world because they’ve touched the dark. I think you are highly attuned to the light in the world.”

  “Because I’ve touched the darkness?”

  “Maybe.”

  I let the words wash over me and nodded while Dr. Nabi pulled out his prescription pad from the top drawer.

  “I’m going to write you a couple of prescriptions, Indie. Get them filled before you leave town and make another appointment within a few days of your return back to the States.”

  I nodded. “What are you giving me?”

  “Klonopin to be used as needed and Trazodone. I’d like you to take one each night.
I think maybe you’re missing out on some much needed REM sleep.”

  “But that’s just an old antidepressant.”

  “It could help raise your serotonin levels, but that is a side effect of it making you sleep…and well,” he said as he ripped the pages from the pad, leaving behind the carbon copies for my chart.

  I nodded again and stood to take the two small squares from his hand. He signed off on my papers for the receptionist and handed them to me with a smile. “Indie, you should trust what you feel. Rarely is the gut off course.”

  I nodded.

  “Indie?”

  “Yes?”

  “Have you been writing all of this down? Are you journaling?”

  “Yes,” I said as I dug through my messenger bag and pulled out my blue spiral notebook. I fingered through the pages to get to the last entry. “I wrote in my journal that very night—the night of the storm.”

  As I found the ending of my writing I folded the notebook in half and stared at the page. In my handwriting and over and over again were the words: He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour. He seeks someone to devour.

  Still shaken, I made it back to the GT headquarters a little before four in the afternoon. Just as I hit the button for the forty-ninth floor a hand rushed in between the doors. I jumped as they caught on an arm and watched David step in with a wet umbrella and a smile. My body was still in shock from reading the journal I had clutched in my hand and I did my best to seem normal.

  “Are you trying to keep me out?” David joked, brushing the rain from his hair.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.” I tried to smile but was too preoccupied with my own mental health and Lewis’s next chemo treatment. Tonight was dose three and I’d planned on staying in my new apartment in the event he wasn’t feeling well. Between preparing for the trip, keeping up with Lewis and trying my best not to think too much about my life or what I’d been seeing lately, I’d been out of the loop with David.

  “It’s okay,” he said with a smile. “It’s been so busy around here, and we’ve been making plans for the next two weeks. Has everything been going okay for you? Do you have everything you need?”

  I felt as if the rush of anxiety and dread in my body dissipated like a passing storm. I took a deep breath and answered. “Yes,” I nodded as the doors opened on our floor. “I have more than I need.”

  David smiled as he took off his raincoat. Andrea immediately took it from him with a smile and a nod. She was Lewis’s second assistant but was smart enough to protect her own position at GlobalTech.

  “How’s the old man doing?” he asked as he followed me to my office.

  “His vitals are good. Tonight is his third pill. He might start to feel a little poorly so I’m planning on staying here tonight.”

  “Really?” he asked as he sat in one of the chairs in front of my desk.

  “You sound surprised.” I opened the bottom drawer and dropped my bag and the spiral notebook that had sent me into a tailspin into the empty space.

  “It will be your first night here.”

  “Yup. I’m going to break it in right. My bonus is burning a hole in my pocket, so I’m going shopping for the trip next week while your dad is at a fancy-schmancy benefit. Then I plan on bringing dinner back here and watching some really bad reality TV.”

  He laughed and it made me feel good on the inside. I’d had enough stress and it was remarkable how quickly David could make me feel calm on the heels of a complete breakdown. It seemed weird but it was almost as if we shared common experiences—even though I knew we’d lived vastly different lives. Still, when I was around him I automatically breathed easier and felt more confident.

  “I’m a little disappointed you have plans.”

  “Yeah?’ I asked as I opened my laptop and clicked the button to check for new mail.

  “I was hoping you might accompany me to that same fancy-schmancy benefit tonight. I mean, I don’t think they call it that—at least not officially. I’m pretty sure it’s for the brain-imaging department at the hospital. Dad likes to give them lots of—well, lots of support.”

  “Why wouldn’t he?” I asked with a smile.

  “So you’ll go?”

  I looked up from my computer to him. “Now how in the world did you get a yes out of that?”

  “I’m just psychic that way, I guess.”

  I stared at him in all his handsomeness dressed in a navy suit and white shirt. David was quite simply the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen. Physically there were no flaws and I wondered what it might be like to go out with a man who was that beautiful. “I wouldn’t have anything to wear.” I said the words, but hung on them with a hint of disappointment in my voice.

  “That’s what stylists are for.”

  “Stylists?”

  “Sure. One phone call and in the next hour you’ll have several dresses to choose from waiting in your apartment next door. C’mon.” He said the word as if he was a child wanting me to come out and play.

  “Well…”

  He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. He was charming, handsome and had an adorable boyish quality that he rarely showed. “You can help me keep an eye on the old man tonight.”

  I raised one eyebrow as I thought about it. It would be fun to forget everything in my crazy head and act like a somebody for just one night.

  NINETEEN

  Seven different dresses had been delivered to my office within the hour. David had sent me an email to let me know he’d pick me up at 6:30. There was a cocktail hour, dinner and dancing and I couldn’t wait.

  After checking in with Dr. Beaman and going over Lewis’s condition, I went into my little apartment and stared at the dresses all hanging from the closet door. There was Prada, Jason Woo, and Vera Wang, but my favorite was an Oscar de la Renta. A black, high boat neck with a plunging back, there was a huge bow that sat just above my bottom. The attached full skirt was dark magenta silk with pockets—which I loved. The dress fit as if it was made for me and I knew the dark purples and pinks would only accentuate my violet eyes. The best part was that I could hide the Hamsa necklace that refused to come off.

  I showered quickly, shaving my legs that wouldn’t be seen and drying my hair in record time. The few makeup items I’d brought with me to the office paled in comparison to the assortment of Bobbie Brown cosmetics left for me in the vanity drawers. I quickly put on light makeup, keeping a fresh face and pulled my hair up into a French twist in order to properly show off the back of the dress.

  I sprayed the tiniest bit of hairspray over my up-do and turned in front of the full length mirror in a complete circle on my toes, listening to the dress make a swooshing sound. I glanced at the clock as I put the simple pearl earrings I’d worn to work today in my ears along with the strand of my mother’s pearls I’d been wearing each day to cover my necklace. I had fifteen minutes to put on my shoes and lipstick.

  I thought about the fact that I didn’t have a purse and slid the perfect matching shade of hot pink into the pocket of my dress. What more could I need?

  I took one last look in the mirror and barely recognized myself. Two weeks ago I was praying AT&T wasn’t going to cut my phone off and today, all my bills had been paid, I had more money in the bank than I knew what to do with and I was waiting in a beautiful ball gown for David Thornbury to pick me
up for the night. I wasn’t going crazy. I wasn’t losing my mind. I was Indie fucking Luce. I was a bad ass who could see Spirit and take care of those who couldn’t take care of themselves. I refused to let my mind get the best of me.

  I took a deep breath and reminded myself tonight wasn’t a date. I worked for David’s father. I needed to keep it platonic.

  “Indie?”

  David called to me from the other room and I tried not to rush in and come off overanxious. “Coming.” I nodded at my reflection and walked through the bathroom and into my office. Standing with his back to me, I could see how nicely David filled out his black tuxedo. “I’m ready.” I said the words softly, as if I would startle him if I spoke in a normal tone of voice.

  He turned and I saw him blush. “You look amazing.”

  I smiled. “Really?”

  “Oh my God. Yes. Beautiful.” He said the words and stepped back, placing his open palm on his chest as if to calm his racing heart. It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me.

  Dressed in a black tuxedo, white shirt and black tie, David was a vision. In his hand was a small pink gift bag with tissue coming out of the top. I glanced at it and he finally took his eyes off of me. “Oh. I thought you might need this.”

  I took the bag from his hands and as our fingers touched I couldn’t help but smile at the electricity that always seemed to arc between us. I knew he felt it too. “What is it?”

  “I just thought you might need it to complete your outfit.”

  I opened the bag and found a pink Judith Leiber rose-shaped crystal purse. I’d never seen one in person, let alone held one in my hand. I’d only gazed with envy at the two thousand dollar sparkly bags in fashion magazines. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It’s not as beautiful as you, but at least I picked the right color.”

  I took a deep breath. “It’s too much, David. I can’t accept this expensive bag. I’ve already accepted too many things. It’s starting to make me uncomfortable.”

  He dropped his head as if I’d hurt his feelings. “I can take it back if you don’t want it.”