by EF Joyce
The room was circular; windows lined the outer wall, brilliant sunlight illuminating the room. The floor was a tiled mosaic of the sun and in the center sat a crib, beautifully crafted of the finest wood, hand carved with the sea dragons of Yeraz winding up the posts, the scent of the freshly hewn wood wafting gently through the air. The cold stone of her heart unfurled, growing hot and fierce inside of her. She longed to scream but her throat was an impassable lump, she yearned to cry but her tears burned too hot to fall, she wanted to tear that room apart, his taunt to her, a glimpse of a life she could never have.
"How could you?" she whispered, her voice barely audible. "How could you!?" she screamed, after everything she'd done, everything she'd been through, holding on to this impossible dream, and giving it up only to have it thrown in her face. She had never yelled at Stellan, never told him she'd wanted their daughter to be saved from her cruel fate. She'd kept it all locked inside, her pain and desperation and love an aching secret. With this gesture, her grip on her lies and secrets and anger slipped away and she felt herself breaking.
"You built us this place for what?! So we can pretend to be a family until you tear my daughter away from me and bind her to the Sphere, damning her to a life of loneliness and suffering? Until you pick a new Handmaiden to serve her and send guards for me in the night, to toss me over a cliff like you did to Helena?"
Tears were flowing now, hot and fast, blinding her. She'd known her fate from the start, and her daughter's too, the very reasons she'd betrayed all of Yeraz to Alaric, but she'd never expected Stellan to throw it in her face like this and suddenly it was all too much. Her love for him was poison in her veins and though she longed to leach it out it kept coming back, scorching her, killing her.
"Anaka, stop, Annie, please," he begged. She turned to run from the room but he grabbed her from behind, pulling her close and holding her like a straight jacket; no matter how she twisted and fought she could not pull free, until she gave up the struggle and went limp in his arms. It didn't matter how he tried to hurt her, or that she loved him and he felt only contempt for her. Soon it would all be over, her papers were coming and she would escape, to somewhere Stellan could never find her.
"Do you really believe I have so little respect for you, Annie?" His voice was pained, as if he actually cared, his breath warm on her ear. "I meant this as a gesture not temporary but permanent. The only thing left standing between us and owning the whole world is Dalga. We will win this war, Anaka. Dalga is a fraction of our size, and Elixa still reigns with all her power. Even with the mind magi controlling armies at full capacity we far outnumber them. Elixa is young, and will rule Yeraz for another forty or fifty years, if not longer.
"What I mean is, we will have no need for another Queen of Dreams after she is gone. All the world will belong to Yeraz, to us, and I will rule it peacefully, with no need for magic or war." He released her and she turned to him, his black eyes warm with longing. Could she trust those eyes? That emotion? Was it real or pretended?
"I was hoping you would agree to rule with me, as my wife and my queen. I love you, Anaka."
"What?" she stared at him, waiting for him to say something, but his words hung in the air. "You want me to marry you?"
"Only if you love me."
"You know I do," the words tumbled out before she could catch them, the stated truth a weight lifting from her chest. And oh how she meant them, more than any words she'd ever said before, but it was too late, too late. "But you're immortal and I'm not. My life will be little more than a blink to you."
"You are so much more than that to me. We can rule this world together, bring peace and stability to everyone in it, and when you're gone I will continue with the memory of you driving me. I've never cared about anyone more than myself before, until now, until you. You make me better, and together we can change everything."
Every word shattered her into a million irreparable shards. I betrayed you to Alaric.
"Say you will marry me."
I've burned all your dreams to ashes.
"I will."
I've singlehandedly destroyed your entire world.
"Tomorrow night, after sunset at the Seadragon Cliff. I may have set it up already," a smile, how foreign on his face, yet dazzling.
You really do love me.
And that last realization was the most terrifying because Stellan had already been wicked before he'd ever known her, before she'd ever been born, and the things he'd done with his heart safely locked away were so unspeakable that she could not begin to imagine what he'd do once that heart was crushed. So clearly, like a map spread out in front of her she could see the future, the destruction she would cause by betraying Yeraz to Alaric was nothing compared with what would come from betraying Stellan's heart.
Annihilation.
Chapter 18
I
The queen was perched on her throne, the rain lashing endlessly against the windows, rattling the glass and sending tiny rivulets of water pulsing down the gray walls. Not even the roaring fire could keep the cold from the palace, or the strongest mortar in the empire keep the endless siege of water from sliding between the stones. In winter the water turned to ice, the rain to sleet, and the damp to frozen. The queen shivered, wrapping her fur cloak around her blue silk gown and hoping the thin, sleeveless and unnecessarily poufy dresses would soon go out of fashion.
Any moment Balkin would arrive, and curse him for keeping his queen waiting. Elixa had promised to free the Grand General, but if the army accepted her father's terms Grayna would not be executed no matter the verdict. If the terms were rejected, she'd have no choice but to use her magic to free him, taking a firm stance against her father once and for all, an outcome best avoided until he was locked safely away.
"Your Majesty," Balkin said, somehow having entered her throne room without her notice. Had the guards even bothered to announce him? Lazy and lax, every last one of them. The young, new Grand General was an ugly man, pockmarked and stringy, clutching a piece of parchment in his sweaty hands like a lifeline, his eyes darting fearfully everywhere. "It is a pleasure to meet you at last, my queen. I have long awaited this day." He licked his thin lips and, eyes darting, looking more like a prisoner in the front of the execution line.
"There is no need to be fearful, Grand General," she said. The title left a bad taste in her mouth. It belonged to Grayna, not this skinny coward who could never take the place of the greatest military leader Yeraz had ever seen. What had the army been thinking to elect him, and the council to approve it? Disgraceful. "I am indeed Grayna's ally and mean to see him freed. How did the army respond to my father's terms?"
"Agreeable, your majesty. They have accepted the terms for the time being."
"The time being?" Balkin stared at the floor, nervously wringing the parchment in his grasp. What did he expect, for her to dream him into a thousand pieces at one wrong word? She needed an ally, not a fear-ridden rat, a Grand General, not this boy.
"Yes my queen...the army will no longer stand for Sebastian Elspeth's reign. The leaders have given me their own terms. The Ilahi will be removed from power before the army marches to Darvaza. My men realize that they have little choice but to fight in this war in order to defend their homes and families, but they will not go until the Ilahi has been deposed of." An ultimatum, well that was fine with her. If she struck now, her father would never see it coming, but she still needed time.
"I cannot overthrow my father just yet. Grayna had been working with me to remove his allies from the palace. The task has been left incomplete since his arrest. But give me a few more weeks and I promise you, in the queen's name that it will be done," she said. The time had come to stop dallying, stop making excuses and delaying the inevitable. The time had come to end Sebastian Elspeth before he found a way to end her.
"They march out in a week; ensure the preparations are completed. Eide has released Tibre as a gesture of good faith, but he will expect our troops to enter Darvaza as
agreed. I want no delays on this. Call an emergency council meeting in three weeks' time. Bring the best of your men in to capture my father, and the Handmaiden. Kill Sundry on sight. We can't afford to have a mage running free, doing my father's bidding.
"What else? I plan to give Anaka a huge task for the Black Hand, something that will pull all of her men out of the city for at least a few days, but we need to prepare for some backlash. I want two legions left in the capitol for protection against my father's allies."
"Three weeks then. I accept these terms on behalf of the armies' leaders. I am honored you would choose me to execute the coup myself, but if I had General Grayna...perhaps if you were to free him first?" Afraid to do a lick of work on his own, completely whiny and incompetent. How did the queen get stuck with this idiot? But she couldn't very well get rid of him now, he knew too much and besides, he was all she had...for now.
"Release Grayna first and tip off my father? No. Striking too soon could doom us. You will carry out this plan, with or without the Grand General." The real Grand General, because you're certainly not one.
"Alright, I mean, of course my queen," he licked his lips, stared at the floor. "There is one more matter to discuss, and that is the Handmaiden. The army is demanding her death, not mere capture."
"Absolutely not," she snapped. "You will capture her only. Alive and unharmed." The army demanded? More like you're still bitter and want to use me to carry out your petty vengeance. Worm.
"Her blood is filth, her lineage is poison. The people will not stand for a Wakati queen, not even half. They will not stand for her or her daughter to live. Choosing a Wakati for a Handmaiden has also turned the civilians against the Ilahi and they have had nineteen years to stew in this hatred. A slave, made the queen mother. It's not right."
"Anaka has never been a slave," Elixa argued.
"Wakati by nature are slaves. They are less than human, born only to serve their betters. A queen with Wakati blood is ludicrous, every Yerazi agrees on that much." Yes, I'm sure every citizen feels exactly as you do, harboring a deep personal vendetta against the Handmaiden for refusing your hand in marriage. But just in case I'm wrong...
"I believe I will need a less biased opinion on this matter, Grand General. If I recall correctly, you once hoped to make that same filthy Wakati your wife," she countered. He flushed, obviously surprised she knew about his past.
"I thought she was different from the rest. But I was wrong. She is heartless and soulless. Mud runs through her veins. She is worse than her slave brethren because she does not know her place." Unless she had married you. Then she'd be the noblest woman to ever step upon Yerazi soil. Hypocrite.
"Anaka is more loyal to this empire than all of your men combined, and has proven it to me tenfold," the queen snapped. "I will not accept a jilted ex-lover's opinion of her life's worth. Something will need to be done with her, I agree, but that decision does not lie with you. Should anything permanent happen to her during this coup, I will hold you directly responsible. Am I clear?" The ugly man nodded, clearing his throat and licking his lips.
Anaka was ten times the warrior this joke of a Grand General could ever hope to become. She had proven her value time and again, most notably wiping out the entire population of one Wakati Island, the home of the seers, and the place of her birth on the queen's command.
That night had been peaceful, the air warm. Ocean waves dark as obsidian had lapped the shadowed shores. Frosty moonlight had illuminated the hunched figure of her one true friend sitting on the sand, facing the sea with a dagger in her hand. Bodies littered the ground surrounding her, bodies everywhere, just like Atam. Elixa had turned away from them, facing the sea, side by side with Anaka.
"They really were seers, did you know that?" Anaka said, still staring blankly at the dark waters. "The man who called himself the Oracle...he said he was my father, that he knew I'd come to kill him. He said I had to kill him. To save the world. Isn't that crazy?" Taken aback by her flood of words, Elixa stared curiously at her usually silent friend.
"Did you?"
"Of course. I always do my duty."
"And the rest of the island?" Elixa prompted, wondering if anyone here had been left alive. The appearance was to the contrary.
"All dead."
"You did that for me?" she asked, knowing the value of the seers' extinction but hating those lives on her conscious.
"I would do anything for you, my queen, but these were also your father's orders. He said if the Oracle, my target, proves his power to be true then to eliminate the rest of them. Surely you see the tactical advantage."
"I do, but even so." The queen forced herself to look at the bodies; bloody, dark lumps in the sand, sprawled out at unnatural angles. "I understand the weight you carry. It was the same for me with Atam." Elixa hated speaking of, even thinking of Atam, but Anaka surely suffered from her deeds, just as she had. Elixa had to support her friend, especially when she intended to ask even more of her. "I'm sorry that I've asked so much of you. That you have to bear the consequences of my weakness." Few were privy to the fact that Elixa hadn't killed since Atam. So far, the empire had conquered with nothing more than their vast armies and her reputation as the red queen.
"Not everyone is meant to take life, Elixa. I do understand that."
"So wise," Elixa said, pausing and wondering how to proceed with her next dangerous request. "My father will be pleased," she said. "He is very fond of you. You are able to do things that I cannot, and without magic besides. He admires you."
"What are you getting at?" Anaka asked, her eyes still on the sea. Sharp, this one, missing nothing. That quality was why she needed her more than anyone.
"Always to the point, that's why I like you. Why I need you. Sebastian keeps many secrets from me."
"So you want me to spy on him? How? Crouch in the alcoves outside his rooms? Sneak in and read his letters?"
"Not exactly. He admires you, Anaka. As a woman." Her friend did look at her then, her glare sharp as her famed dagger.
"You want me to become his lover? Sebastian is not only a powerful man but a beautiful one. A god. Surely there's a flock of gorgeous admirers better suited to this task, and more desirable than a plain Wakati."
"After three-thousand-years, pretty faces and buxom figures get boring. You intrigue him. Sure, I could send a few dolled up whores in there, and he'd lie with them and kick them out. I need someone he'll trust. Someone he'll tell his secrets to. You would have to have him completely convinced. Give him no reasons to believe you are anything but earnest in your affections. It's the only way he will ever trust you." Anaka sighed and Elixa knew that meant she'd won.
"Am I asking too much? I understand if you refuse me in this."
"No, you are like a sister to me, and as I said I would do anything you ask."
"You are more than I deserve, Anaka. Even after all I've done to you; making you spy for me, kill for me. Giving you to that monster, Hakkon."
"You couldn't have known," Anaka said, rising to her feet. "And he has already paid the price for his actions." The Handmaiden stared at her queen, while she'd avoided eye contact before, suddenly looking deeply troubled. "Don't feel for me. I am the one who's sorry for you." And Elixa saw that she meant it.
"Why for me?"
"I'm just sorry, that's all. There are worse villains than Estrial Hakkon," she'd said cryptically. "You're my sister, Elixa, if not in blood. I will do anything for you. Anything. I am here for you always, under storms and starlight."
"Through darkness and death." The queen had finished.
Balkin twitched again, eyes darting, reminding her where she was.
"Yes, your majesty. Regarding Grayna," he started, carefully. "His trial is in the three days' time. I have not been able to gain an audience with him yet. The Ilahi has been keeping a heavy guard around him, his men only. I don't believe he has a plan other than waiting for the result of the trial. Either way, he has promised to keep the Grand General al
ive."
"Until we make a move against him. Make certain you gain an audience with him. Don't allow my father to push you around; you are the Grand General now, taking over leadership from Grayna. You have to right to consult him regarding your position. Have Sebastian's men replaced with yours, I don't want anything to happen to Grayna during the coup. Return to me again after you've spoken with him, and you can ensure him that I will be coming for him. Dismissed." I am sick of looking at you.
"Yes, your majesty," the new Grand General bowed deeply and backed out of the room, a little too relieved to escape her company, not that she felt any differently. Elixa left the throne room, retreating up the steps that wound their way around the circular throne room to her equally circular suite atop the Queen's Tower and her pile of paperwork in progress for the trial. The papers from Grayna's office had been cleared out and distributed to various administrators for analyzing his possible guilt. Elixa had obtained a copy from Sebastian, and in them she could find no hint of a traitor lurking beneath the Grand General's stainless and ruthless reputation.
Grayna was the best fighter the army had ever seen. He'd led every charge personally, survived hundreds of battles and pit fights without permanent injury. He held honor above all other attributes and had carried out all of his Kan Sivids with fair warning, preferring to meet his enemies on the open battle field. To those who knew him personally, it was said he despised magic, claiming it to be dishonest trickery. He believed only the queen should possess magic and all other magi should be banned from warfare. He also hated assassins and anyone who would kill a man sleeping or without a weapon in his hand. None of the information was remotely helpful.