Slow, he told himself. He wanted to go slow, to savor every taste, every sensation. He wanted to go slow and pleasure her as much as possible before reaching his own peak of pleasure.
He ran his hands down the flat of her stomach, pausing at the low waistband of her panties. She cried out in delight as he found the center of her heat, rubbing her through the thin, silky material. She moved her hips against him as her hand skimmed beneath his cotton briefs to stroke him.
Her intimate touch drove him wild and it seemed to do the same to her as she removed her panties, then helped him remove his briefs. With no barriers between them, they pressed their bodies together, hip to hip, thigh to thigh.
Suddenly slow no longer seemed an option. “Cecilia.” He groaned her name as he rolled over on top of her and her legs parted to welcome him.
“Allison,” she said breathlessly. “Please, call me Allison.”
“Allison,” he replied. Someplace in the back of his mind, he knew he shouldn’t know her real name, but he understood her need to be herself, to hear her real name at this moment in time. “Sweet Allison,” he whispered as he entered her.
“Oh, Jesse, love me,” she whispered against his neck, her hands convulsively clutching at his back.
And he did. Initially he moved slowly against her, closing his eyes as her warmth enveloped him. He was lost in her—lost in her scent, her feel, the very essence of her.
It was she who quickened the pace, pulling him faster, deeper into her. As he possessed her, he found himself whispering her name over and over again, loving the sound of it in the air, the feel of it on his lips.
He had no idea what the next day would bring, wasn’t even sure how great their regret would be. At the moment it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the fact that he was lost in Allison, and that’s exactly where he wanted to be.
Chapter 9
Allison knew without opening her eyes that dawn must be approaching. The insect noises that had served as a lullaby for most of the night had quieted and had been replaced by birdsong heralding the start of a new day.
Allison awakened to find herself intricately entwined with Jesse. Her head was on his chest, one leg wrapped with his. One of his arms was around her back and his hand rested on her bare hip. The intimacy of their naked embrace thrilled her.
She remained unmoving, wallowing in the sweet sensation of being held in his arms. She loved the feel of him, the smell of him.
She could feel the beat of his heart beneath her ear, the slow easy cadence of sleep. His skin was warm and the hair on his chest was soft beneath her cheek.
With her eyes still closed, her mind replayed every caress, each kiss they’d shared. Each glorious detail was burned into her mind.
Making love with Jesse had been more wonderful than she’d imagined. He’d been hungry and demanding, yet giving and patient at the same time.
She wondered if each caress, each stroke of his hands had been more intense because of her blindness, yet instantly discounted the theory. After all, when she’d been with Roger, they’d always made love in the dark, and she’d always kept her eyes closed.
No, the incredible intensity had sprung from something else, and she refused to delve too deeply into the reasons for it, afraid of what the answers might be. It was enough to say he’d made her feel things she’d never felt before, and she wondered how long it would take her to forget the experience once she returned to Chicago.
Perhaps given enough time she might forget the intensity of their lovemaking, but she had a feeling she would never be able to completely forget making love with Jesse. She would never be able to completely forget Jesse.
She frowned, wondering if everything her mother had ever told her was wrong. Was it so bad to need somebody? To want to belong to something bigger than just yourself?
Certainly Alicia had believed their mother was wrong. Despite the teachings of independence, she had built something beautiful with John, a symbiotic relationship based on weaknesses and strengths, desires and needs. What could be more right than that?
Jesse’s heartbeat changed rhythms, gradually stepping up its pace as he came awake. She knew the moment total consciousness claimed him, for his heart thudded with a rapid fire beat that coursed through her, as well.
Apparently unaware that she was already awake, his hand lightly caressed her hip and thigh, as if loving the feel of her skin.
There was a part of her that wanted to continue to pretend slumber so he wouldn’t stop, but another part of her recognized the danger of doing so. Did she want to create another memory that would haunt her for the rest of her life?
She stirred, as if just coming awake, then raised her head. “Good morning.”
His hand stopped its movement and he instantly pulled it away from her. Allison felt both relief and disappointment. Simultaneously they sat up and untangled from each other so they weren’t touching.
“You ready for some breakfast?” he asked. She could tell by where his voice came from that he had stood. She heard the whisper of material, then the rasp of his zipper being pulled up and knew he’d put on his jeans.
“No, I’m really not hungry.” Her face flamed as she was once again reminded of her helpless dependence on him. “Jesse, could you find my clothes, please?”
She hadn’t felt naked or vulnerable until now, knowing he was dressed and she had no clue where her clothes had been tossed during last night’s escapade. It would take her forever to find them by rummaging around the confines of the tent.
“Sure.” He found the items and placed them in her lap. “If you don’t want breakfast, then maybe we’ll just go ahead and load up and head back to town.”
She nodded. “Just give me a couple of minutes to dress.”
“I’ll be outside.” He unzipped the tent flap and stepped out, taking a palpable energy with him.
Allison breathed a sigh and hurriedly pulled on her panties, then donned her bra. Apparently Jesse didn’t intend a Monday-morning quarterback kind of discussion about what they had shared the night before.
That was fine with her. After all, what was there to say about it? That it was good, wonderful even, and that it shouldn’t happen again because nothing would come of it? She already knew all that so there was no point in hashing it out aloud.
Even if Allison allowed herself to think she might have a life in Mustang, that she could leave behind all she’d been building in Chicago, Jesse deserved better than a needy, blind woman in his life.
And when she regained her sight, would she still entertain the idea of making Mustang her home, or would she eagerly return to her shop and her life in Chicago?
Shoving aside thoughts of what if, she finished dressing and stepped out of the tent. The morning smelled crisp and clean and Allison drew in a lungful of the slightly pine, fresh air.
“It feels like it’s a beautiful morning,” she said, gazing in the direction where she heard Jesse packing items.
“We’ll have rain before nightfall,” he said. “There’re already storm clouds gathering.”
“I don’t mind rain. In fact, I’ve always found it rather soothing.” She sat on the fallen log where she’d spent much of the evening before. “I’m assuming the best thing I can do to help you is to stay out of your way.”
“Yeah, it won’t take me long to knock down the camp and we’ll be on our way.” She sensed tension in his voice. For a few minutes he worked in silence. Allison wondered if he regretted last night. What seemed like a good idea in the darkness of night often became foolish with the illumination of dawn’s light.
Was he afraid that she might read more into it than it had meant to him? Was he worried that she’d suddenly demand more of him than he intended to give?
“Jesse, you don’t have to worry, you know,” she said.
“Worry?” She heard the bewilderment in his voice. “Worry about what?”
“That somehow I’ll make more of last night than it was, that I’ll demand
something of you that you don’t want to give.” She forced a small laugh. “I just want you to know you can relax. Last night was wonderful, but we both know it was purely a physical release of energy that had been building between us. We both know it didn’t really mean anything.”
He was silent for a long moment and for the hundredth time she wished she could see his features, read his expression. “Okay, then I won’t worry,” he said.
Again he worked in silence. She heard him take down the tent and fold it, box up the lanterns and roll up the sleeping bags.
“This trip didn’t exactly accomplish what you hoped it would, did it?” she asked as they walked toward the car to leave the campsite.
“You mean as far as the Casanova case?” he asked.
“Yes.” He opened her car door and she slid into the passenger seat.
He didn’t answer her until he was seated in the driver side. “No, I didn’t suddenly solve the crimes or gain some meaningful insight, nor did I really expect that to happen.” He started the engine with a roar. “But I do feel like I’m going back with my head more clear.”
“Hopefully nothing happened last night while we were gone,” Allison said.
It was as if her words had jinxed them. When they pulled into Jesse’s driveway, Amanda Creighton was waiting for them on Jesse’s front porch.
“What’s going on, Amanda?” Jesse asked as he helped Allison from the car.
“You need to talk to Maggie,” Amanda said, her agitation apparent in the slightly shrill tone of her voice. “She’s letting that damned Burt Landry move back in with her.”
“I don’t understand. What’s the problem?” Jesse asked.
“The problem is Burt Landry is a creep and she broke up with him weeks ago. It was the smartest thing she’s ever done. But her trauma has made her vulnerable and she’s making a bad mistake by letting him back into her life.”
“What am I supposed to do? Arrest her for showing bad judgment?” His voice was laced with dry humor. “If that’s the case, I’d be arresting nearly everyone in town, including myself.”
Amanda sighed in frustration. “Cecilia, will you talk to her?” Amanda grasped Allison’s hands. “She trusts and admires you. Just make sure she has her head on straight, that she really knows what she’s doing. Please. I don’t want her hurt anymore.”
“Okay,” Jesse relented. “We’ll take a ride over there and talk to her.”
“Thank you.” Amanda gave Allison’s hands a squeeze, then released them. “I just hate to see her make a mistake because of what she’s been through.”
Minutes later, Jesse and Allison were back in the car, heading for Maggie’s place. “I guess the sheriffs in small towns wear many hats,” Allison said.
“I suppose we do,” Jesse agreed. “Law enforcement, surrogate priest, sage adviser. I’ve even been known to don a coaching hat for the local Little League team.”
“Tell me about Burt Landry. Why does Amanda think he’s a creep?”
“Amanda thinks most of the men in Mustang are creeps,” Jesse said, a light humor in his voice. “Amanda is waiting for a prince and all she keeps finding around here is cowboys.”
“And she doesn’t like cowboys?”
“Hates ’em. Anyway, Burt Landry is a swaggering, macho kind of cowboy. He drinks too much, talks too loud and usually most weekends finds himself in the middle of a brawl out at the Round-Up.”
“Doesn’t sound like my kind of hero,” Allison said. “But that doesn’t mean he can’t be Maggie’s kind of man.”
“True,” he said easily. “The only reason I agreed to drive over here and talk to Maggie is because I’m worried about her. Amanda’s right. She’s been through a terrible ordeal, and I don’t want her making things worse on herself because she’s not emotionally stable.”
Allison reached over and touched his thigh. It was a light, momentary touch, but the contact sent heat rippling through her. “This town is lucky to have a sheriff like you.”
“Yeah, we’ll see if they still feel lucky if I don’t catch Casanova.” He slowed the car. “Amanda was right. Burt’s old pickup is at Maggie’s and it looks like he’s moving in.” He pulled the car to a stop. “I checked out Landry a couple of days ago, checked his alibis for the three nights in question. He had pretty solid alibis for all three nights.”
“Then at least we know he’s just your garden-variety creep and not anything more serious,” Allison said.
Jesse laughed, then opened his car door. A few minutes later he and Allison stood at Maggie’s front door.
“Jesse…Cecilia. How nice to see you both.” Maggie greeted them in surprise. “Come in, please.” She grabbed Allison’s arm in a warm grasp and led her over to the sofa.
“We just thought we’d stop in and see how you are doing,” Allison said, aware of Maggie sitting down next to her.
“Is there any news…? I mean, have you found out who…?” Maggie’s voice trailed off.
“No, Maggie. No news, but I’m still working on it,” Jesse said regretfully. “I promise we’ll get him, no matter how long it takes.”
Loud footsteps echoed down the stairs and Allison felt the air stir as another person entered the room.
“Sheriff…ma’am,” a deep, gravelly voice greeted them.
“Landry.” Jesse returned the greeting.
“You gonna catch the son of a bitch that hurt Maggie?”
“I’m doing everything I can to get him,” Jesse replied.
“Why don’t we take a little walk outside, give the ladies a chance to prattle alone?”
“Yes, we have some girl talk to exchange,” Allison said.
“Heaven save us from girl talk,” Burt replied. “Come on, Sheriff. We’ll go out back. I’ve got a six-pack on ice in the cooler.”
Allison waited a moment until the men had left the room, then she reached for Maggie’s hands. “How are you really?”
“I’m doing okay,” Maggie replied. “I have good moments and bad moments. Nights are the hardest. I sometimes have bad dreams.”
“Amanda is worried about you.”
“Amanda is a good friend.” Allison could hear the smile in Maggie’s voice.
“She thinks you’re making a mistake getting back with Burt.”
“I might be….” Maggie pulled her hands from Allison’s and released a deep sigh. “Burt can be difficult. He drinks too much, he’s loud and obnoxious, he can be mean-spirited….”
“Then why are you getting back with him?” Allison asked softly.
There was a long silence. “Have you ever been truly afraid and just felt like you needed somebody—anybody—to hang on to? Not necessarily forever, but just for now?” She reached once again for Allison’s hands, then laughed a bit unsteadily. “Burt is no prize, but he’s been good to me since…since the rape. I just need him to hang on to right now.”
As Allison and Maggie talked about upcoming social activities in town and general things, Maggie’s words played and replayed in Allison’s head.
Have you ever been truly afraid and just felt like you needed somebody—anybody—to hang on to?
Did that explain Allison’s overwhelming attraction to Jesse? An any-port-in-a-storm mentality? Was it an attraction based on the overwhelming uncertainty of her life?
What right did she have to question Maggie’s choice of hanging on to Burt for all the wrong reasons when it was just possible she was doing the very same thing with Jesse?
Jesse hadn’t liked Burt Landry the first time he talked to him, and this second little male bonding session hadn’t improved his attitude toward the handsome, burly cowboy.
“So, I tell her…hell, little lady, if you want to ride a real bucking bronco, come on home with me tonight.” Landry guffawed loudly, then drained his second beer and tossed the can aside. “Sure I can’t tempt you?” he asked as he reached into the cooler for another brew.
“No, thanks. We need to be heading out. Besides, I’m on duty and
I’ve got to get down to the station and check things out.”
“Yeah, I guess this Casanova thing has you really jumping.” Burt shook his head. “Damnedest thing, isn’t it? What kind of pervert takes girls out to a tree and kisses them? Sounds damn dumb to me.” He took a sip of his beer. “But I guess the reward might turn up something.”
“Reward?” Jesse frowned in bewilderment. “What reward?”
“It was in the paper this morning. Millicent Creighton and that bunch of old ladies she calls her Ladies’ Club have put up a thousand-dollar reward for information leading to the capture of Casanova.”
Jesse stifled a curse. Terrific. Just terrific. “I’d better get to the station,” he said. With a nod of goodbye to Landry, he reentered the house to get Allison.
“Every nut in the county will be calling in about their weird brother, or estranged ex-husband or the crazy kid next door,” Jesse fumed a few minutes later as he drove Allison back to his house. “Damn Millicent and her stupid stunts. We’ll be kept busy for the next month running down dead-end leads.”
“I’m sure she thought she was just being helpful,” Allison said.
Jesse sighed. “I know that, Allison. But this reward thing only complicates the investigation.” Jesse tightened his grip on the steering wheel and shot a glance sideways as he recognized his mistake in calling her by her real name.
He had to stop thinking of Cecilia as Allison. She should have never told him her real name the night before. It complicated things more than they already were. Now he’d have to be careful and make sure he didn’t call her Allison in public.
He pulled into his driveway. “I’ll get the car unloaded, then call Shelly to come over and stay with you. I’ll probably spend most of the evening down at the station.” She nodded, seeming distant and preoccupied. “Everything was okay with Maggie?” he asked. “Cecilia?”
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