A knock resounded on the door. Jesse and Allison both jumped up from their chairs. “That’s probably one of my men,” Jesse said. “I have them patrolling the area.”
Allison followed close behind him to the door. Before answering it, Jesse turned to her. Gently he pulled the robe more closely around her and belted it. Someplace in the back of his mind, he was aware that he didn’t want anyone to see her as he just had, with so much skin exposed and looking so incredibly lovely.
“Thanks,” she murmured, her cheeks stained a delicate pink.
He peered through the peephole, then opened the door to see Vic, dripping rainwater from the brim of his hat. “Come in.” He grabbed the burly man’s arm and pulled him into the house and out of the storm.
“It’s turning into a real toad-strangler,” Vic said as he brushed droplets from his shoulders. “Hi, Cecilia.”
“Hi, Vic.” She returned the greeting with a warm smile.
“See anything?” Jesse asked, cutting to the chase.
Vic shook his head. “Nothing. We cruised all over the area, looked in yards, inside sheds…wherever somebody might hide.”
Jesse sighed. “That’s what I figured. Thanks for coming out on a night like this.”
Vic shrugged his broad shoulders. “Hey, it’s my job.”
He looked at Allison. “You doing okay, Cecilia?”
“I’m fine, Vic. It was just a little disconcerting to know somebody might have been watching me.” She smiled. “From now on my curtains will stay drawn and my window shut and locked.”
“That would probably be wise,” Vic agreed. He took a step back toward the door. “I’ll get out of here. Just wanted to check in and let you know we’ve come up empty-handed.”
“Thanks again, Vic. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jesse closed and locked the door after the deputy, then turned to Allison. “It’s getting late. Don’t you think you should go to bed?”
She shook her head. “I’m still too wound up for sleep. But you go on if you want to. I’ll just sit here for a little while.” She sank onto the sofa.
“I’ll sit with you for a while longer,” he replied, and sat in the chair opposite her. For a long moment they sat in silence, the only sound in the room the gentle patter of rain against the windows.
“Jesse? Would you tell me about Paul?”
Her question made him jerk upright with surprise. “Paul? How do you know anything about Paul?”
“Shelly mentioned something about him.”
Irritation swept through Jesse. Why on earth would Shelly mention Paul to Allison? And yet, even as the question fluttered through his mind, the answer was obvious.
“What do you want to know?” he asked grudgingly.
“Tell me about him…and about you.” She leaned forward, as if eager to hear what he had to say.
He didn’t want to do this. He was tired, and thinking about Paul always brought up a strange melancholy, a pain deep inside his heart he never addressed.
“There’s not much to tell. We were friends, we had an accident, he moved away and we lost touch.” It was a recitation of facts void of emotion.
“You were close…friends for a long time before the accident?” she asked, apparently unaware that she was digging into unhealed wounds.
Jesse leaned back into the chair, memories suddenly unfolding in his head. “Paul and I became best friends in second grade and we remained best friends throughout high school. We did almost everything together, were rarely apart. I loved Paul like a brother.” A lump of pressure tightened Jesse’s chest.
“What happened the night of the accident?”
Again memories assailed Jesse. The party…the music…the laughter, then the black night, the icy roads and the crunch of metal and shattering of glass.
“We’d been to a party.” He used his fingers to rub the center of his forehead where a headache had begun to knock. “About halfway through the party, Paul started bugging me to go home. The weather was turning nasty and it had begun to sleet.”
“But you didn’t want to go home,” she said softly.
He looked at her in surprise, wondering how a blind woman could see so much. “That’s right,” he agreed. “I was feeling my oats that night. Carolina McKenzie, a cute junior, was flirting with me and I didn’t want to leave early. The storm didn’t bother me. I was feeling indestructible…completely invincible.”
“As do most teenagers.”
“I suppose.” Again Jesse rubbed his forehead, his headache growing more intense. He didn’t want to go back to that night, and yet felt as if he were powerless to stop the momentum of his memory, and perhaps a need to finally talk about what had happened.
“We left the party and at first the roads weren’t too terribly bad. Slick…but negotiable.” He paused, seeking some sort of distance from the horror, but the horror refused to release him. The memories were as vivid as if the accident had happened the night before.
He swallowed hard, then continued. “We’d only gone a few miles when the sleet and ice came down in earnest. The minute we crested the hill, I knew I was no longer in control.”
He got up and began to pace, unable to sit immobile any longer. “I practically stood on the brakes, but it did no good. We went faster and faster down the hill. I couldn’t steer…I couldn’t slow down. It was like being on a roller coaster. I wasn’t in control.”
Again the pressure filled his chest, pressing so hard he had difficulty drawing breath. “We saw the tree long before we hit it. We both knew we were going to hit it because we were going so fast…so damned fast.”
The words tumbled from him now, like a speed ing locomotive unable to stop its frantic forward motion. “We hit the tree and I think I must have blacked out for a moment. When I came to, the front window was gone and so was Paul.” He sank down next to Allison, afraid his legs would no longer hold him as he remembered.
She grabbed his hands and held them tight, as if recognizing the tremendous emotion that had loosened inside him. “I found him beneath the tree, covered with branches that had broken when his body had careened into it. I thought he was dead. Oh, God…his face…his face was covered with blood. And his eyes…they looked as if they weren’t there.”
Allison released his hands and instead drew him into an embrace. He closed his eyes, vaguely wondering how it was possible that her arms around him could ease somewhat his pain. “It was an accident, Jesse. A terrible accident, but you weren’t responsible.”
He pulled away from her, amazed that she could say such a thing, think such a thing. “But I was responsible,” he said, his pain evident in the choked quality of his voice. “I should have listened to Paul when he said we should leave the party. Had we left earlier, the accident would have never happened.”
“You can’t know that,” she admonished. “If I’d taken John and Alicia out to dinner that night, they wouldn’t have been murdered. If I’d driven my car instead of taken a taxi, perhaps the murderers wouldn’t have entered their house. If…if… You can’t go there, Jesse. You’re the one who told me that.” She sat back from him and appeared to be looking right at him, right into his very soul. “Jesse, you have no reason to feel guilty. It was a terrible accident, but it wasn’t your fault.”
He said nothing. On an intellectual level, he knew she was right. On an emotional level, there were times his guilt threatened to consume him. He released a shuddering sigh. “This is the first time I’ve ever really talked about the accident other than with the officers who finally responded to the scene.”
“And what happened between you and Paul afterward?” Once again he found his hands in hers, as if she intended to give him strength.
“Nothing. I went to the hospital the next day and Paul’s parents met me in the waiting room. They told me they thought it best if I not see Paul.”
“That must have been very hurtful.”
He nodded, but a renewed sense of guilt rose up inside him, guilt because coupled with the hur
t had been intense relief. “I never saw Paul again after the accident. His family remained in Mustang only for a brief time, then they moved to a neighboring town.”
Jesse pulled his hands from hers and stood, more tired than he could ever remember being. “I think I’m going to call it a night. We’ve both had enough excitement and emotion for one evening.”
“Go ahead,” she said, not moving from the sofa. “You can turn off the lights. I’ll go to bed when I’m ready.”
Jesse looked at her for a long moment. Somehow he felt as if she’d seen into his heart, had known he needed to talk about Paul. Some of the pressure, the heaviness of his heart that he’d carried for years, had eased.
“Good night, Allison,” he said softly.
What he wanted to do was take her by the arm, lead her into his bedroom and make love to her. He wanted to sleep with her wrapped around him, awaken with her body warming his. He knew the foolishness of such wants, and so instead he went to his room alone.
He took off his clothes, turned out the light and got into his bed, his thoughts sliding back to Paul. When his relationship with Paul had ended, something inside Jesse had died—the part of him that was soft and vulnerable, the part of him that was capable of love.
He suddenly realized he’d spent his adult years being afraid of growing too close to anyone, afraid of caring, then losing somebody important to him. He suddenly realized how empty his life had been, and he’d never felt utterly lonely until this very moment.
Closing his eyes, he drew a deep breath, trying to shove aside all thoughts so that the blessed peace of sleep could claim him.
“Jesse?”
He opened his eyes to see Allison’s shadowy form standing in his doorway. “Yeah?”
“I’m afraid to sleep in that room. Could I sleep with you? I—I need you.”
Jesse’s heart filled his chest. Without saying a word, he got up, took her hand and led her to his bed because God help him, he needed her, too.
Chapter 11
Allison refused to think about the many emotions that had brought her once again to Jesse’s bed. She only knew it was where she wanted to be. She needed him and she knew he needed her, too.
The moment she slid beneath the sheets, he met her with a hungry kiss that made any further thought impossible. She responded with a hunger of her own.
The fear she’d felt when she’d realized somebody was outside the window melted away beneath the heat of his mouth. She hoped that in some way her kiss, her warmth, her love would ease the anguish he’d felt in relating the accident with Paul.
When the kiss finally ended, they were both breathless, passions instantly heightened to overwhelming proportions. Allison took off her night- gown, wanting to be as close—as intimate—as possible with him.
When he reached for her again, he was naked, as well, his desire evident. His body felt fevered as he drew her back against him. It was a fever she wanted to lose herself in.
His mouth possessed hers again as his hands found her breasts. Allison moaned, his touch an exquisite torment. He teased her nipples, his fingers dancing lightly across the taut peaks.
As they kissed, she ran her fingers over his forehead, across his brow, down his angular face, seeing him with her fingertips, memorizing him in her mind. Although she couldn’t really know him visually, she knew him in her heart.
Whereas before they had made love slowly, with tentative, explorative caresses, this time they were both ready without any prolonged foreplay.
As Jesse moved into her, she welcomed him, her hands clutching his back. She’d only made love to him once before, but she felt a sense of sweet familiarity, a sense of homecoming as he moved with her in the rhythm of passion.
His heartbeat raced against hers, his breath warmed her neck as he took her higher…closer to the edge. All thought was impossible as she gave herself to him, allowing him to completely possess her.
She cried out as wave after wave of pleasure swept through her, and he stiffened against her and hoarsely cried her name as he, too, tumbled over the edge.
Later, as she lay in his arms, she realized she’d been wrong earlier in the evening. When she’d stood in the bedroom and worried about falling in love with Jesse, it had already been too late. She’d fallen hard.
Snuggling against his body, she realized the exact moment she’d crossed the line from falling in love to being in love. It had been when he’d gently tied her robe before opening the door to admit Vic.
In that single, simple act of thoughtfulness, he’d captured the essence of her soul, stolen the core of her heart.
She didn’t know what to do about it. He had spoken no words of love, had not indicated in any way that she was anything more than a pleasant physical diversion and a required job.
Knowing there was no way to sort out her feelings now, while in his warm embrace and with the scent of him lingering on her skin, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift to sleep.
When she awakened again, he was gone. She had no idea what time it was, but knew it must be morning because she felt fully rested. She reached out and touched Jesse’s pillow. The pillowcase was cold, retaining no residual body warmth. Jesse must have left some time ago.
She remained beneath the sheets that smelled of him, wondering how it was possible to be so filled with the joy of love and the ache of anticipated loss at the same time.
She grabbed his pillow and hugged it against her chest, as if it were him she held on to so tightly.
If she could see, would she still love Jesse? Yes. Her love for him had no basis in what he looked like, in the clothes he wore or how he carried himself.
But at least for the moment she couldn’t see. And her blindness complicated everything.
She released her hold on his pillow and got out of bed. She felt around on the floor for the gown she’d discarded the night before. After several moments of searching, she found it on the edge of the bed. Jesse must have placed it there, where it would be easy for her to find, before he left. Again her heart expanded as she embraced the notion of his thoughtfulness.
She pulled it on, then went across the hall to her own bedroom. The scent of fresh brewed coffee wafted down the hallway and she assumed Shelly was probably sitting in the kitchen, waiting for Allison to join her for morning gossip and brew.
After a quick shower, Allison dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, then left her room and went into the kitchen. The moment she stepped foot into the room, she knew it wasn’t Shelly sitting at the table.
“Vic?” she said hesitantly.
“Wow, how did you do that?” His deep voice held utter amazement.
She smiled and sat at the table across from where she knew he must be sitting. “Jesse’s cologne is distinctive and Shelly wears a perfume with a vanilla base. You smell clean, like soap…which re minds me, I haven’t had a chance to thank you for the lovely soap fish sculpture.”
“Ah, it was nothing, just something I do in my spare time.”
“You must be getting less spare time since I’ve been here.” She got up and made her way to the counter for a cup of coffee. “I mean, you’re pulling double duty or something to be here this morning after working so late last night.”
“I don’t mind,” he said. “My job is pretty much my life.” He hesitated a moment, then continued. “Jesse confided in me…you know, about what you’re really doing here.”
Allison nodded, not surprised that Jesse would divulge the truth to his trusted deputy. She poured herself a cup of coffee, then returned to the table. “So you know the engagement is all pretend, made up as a cover story.”
“Yeah, Jesse explained all that.” Vic’s chair creaked as he shifted positions. “You’re really brave. I have a lot of admiration for what you’re doing.”
“What I’m doing?”
“You know…testifying against a bunch of cops. Most people would walk away from the whole thing and refuse to cooperate in the investigation. They�
��d be too afraid to come forward.”
Allison ran the tip of her finger around the rim of her cup. “I never considered not cooperating. Unfortunately my vision is being most uncooperative.”
“What happens if your sight doesn’t return before the trial?”
“It will.” Allison’s voice held a flat finality. She refused to consider any other option. Her sight would return. Any minute…any day, she would suddenly see again. She had to believe that.
She sipped her coffee, then smiled once again in Vic’s direction. “Have you known Jesse for a long time?”
“Sure, Jesse and I went to school together, although we really didn’t run in the same crowd. Jesse was a jock…you know, into football and basketball. I never did well at sports.”
“Did you know Paul?” she asked.
“You mean Paul Burke?” She nodded and Vic continued. “Sure, everyone knew Paul. He was the golden boy, our star quarterback. He and Jesse were thick as thieves until the car accident.”
“When Paul was blinded.”
“That’s right. You know, I never thought about it before now, but maybe you being here is sort of like karma,” Vic said.
“Karma?”
“Yeah. Jesse was pretty torn up about Paul for a long time after the accident and he never really got a chance to resolve the whole thing. Maybe fate sent you here so Jesse could take care of you, and somehow that evens things up between him and Paul.” Vic laughed, his deep voice tinged with a hint of embarrassment. “Guess that sounds sort of stupid, doesn’t it?”
“No, it doesn’t,” Allison protested. She had heard Jesse’s pain and his guilt as he’d talked about Paul. She had a feeling Vic was right in that Jesse had a lot of unresolved feelings where Paul was concerned.
However, she didn’t want to be the catalyst of his healing. She wanted him to care about her despite her blindness, not because of it.
She and Vic finished a pot of coffee and small-talked. Vic entertained her with stories about past investigations and criminals. When the conversation lagged, Allison excused herself and went into her bedroom.
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