“She’s certainly creative,” Riley said. She sank to a chair and Robert moved to stand beside her.
Sue’s lips moved, emitting the strange humming sound that was faintly reminiscent of a car with a dead battery, struggling to turn over.
“I couldn’t agree with you more, Sue,” Chuck said. Lacy wondered if he actually had any idea what his wife said, or if he had developed a system of innocuous platitudes. “This is ridiculous. I mean, Gregor had to miss work for this.” All eyes turned to Gregor who stared dazedly at the game in his hand. “And we’re supposed to be celebrating Robert and Riley, not playing some stupid game.” He shot to his feet and grabbed what remained of Gregor’s sixty-four-ounce soda.
“Hey,” Gregor said, lamely reaching for the drink, his arm waddle flapping madly back and forth.
“A toast,” Chuck said. “To Robert and Riley. May they have many years of marital bliss and be as happy as,” he paused, glancing at Bob and Rita and then at Sue, “as happy as they can be.”
“Hear, hear,” Bob said. Rita beamed and Sue’s lips moved in what was either more words or an extended yawn.
Chuck took a sip of the soda, grimaced, and set it down. “I like Riley a lot better than the last one he was engaged to. What was her name? The busty one with the red hair, the one Emeril Lagasse didn’t like.”
“Lacy,” Lacy supplied.
“Lacy,” Chuck repeated glancing at her at the exact moment he realized his mistake. “Oh, right, I forgot.” His gaze dropped to her chest and lingered until Jason cleared his throat and took a step forward.
“Sorry,” Robert mouthed from across the room, but Lacy could tell he was trying not to laugh. She crossed her arms over her midsection and resisted the urge to go take a shower. It was one thing to know you were curvaceous and quite another to have a creepy older man point it out. To add insult to injury, she had never actually met the man. She saw him for exactly five seconds before the monkey bit her, certainly not enough time for him to form an opinion on her character. Though if the lingering look he had given her bosom was any indication, character probably wasn’t the asset that interested him most.
“I think we’re ready to turn in,” Jason announced. He grabbed Lacy’s hand and led her from the room. When they were in the hallway, he turned, probably to commiserate, but stopped short when he realized Riley was following.
“We haven’t had a chance to talk,” Riley explained. “Plus I need that necklace you promised.”
“Right,” Lacy said. Jason started to walk again, only with Riley beside them the air felt stilted and full of tension.
Jason deposited the two women in front of Lacy’s room, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “I’m just a bathroom away. Call if you need me. Night, Red,” he whispered.
“Night,” she said, staring at his retreating backside until he disappeared into his room. She frowned when she realized Riley was doing the same thing. She turned and led the way into her room. There was a glimmer of hope that if she gave Riley the necklace, she might leave right away. But when she fished the necklace out of her bag and dropped it into her sister’s hand, Riley sank onto the bed, crossing her legs as if settling in for a long chat.
“Is that a Stella McCartney you’re wearing?” Riley asked.
Lacy looked down at her designer dress. “Yes.”
Riley’s gaze fell on Lacy’s still-open closet as she began doing a mental calculation of how much the occupying clothes must cost, to say nothing of the shoes. Lacy closed the closet door, but it was too late.
“Did you rob a bank, Lacy? Last I heard, you weren’t employed.”
This was where things became awkward because Riley got her information from their mother, and Lacy hadn’t told her mother about her inheritance because there was no way to do that without revealing the fact that she had been adopted. And if Lacy told Riley, then Riley would immediately call their mother and blab, probably as soon as she stepped outside the door.
“Riley, it’s been a long day. I don’t really want to talk fashion.” Hint, hint, get out of my room.
“So, Jason Cantor,” Riley said, and Lacy bit back a groan. If there was one thing she wanted to talk about less than her inheritance, it was Jason. “Did he give you that ring?” Her eyes fell to the ruby on Lacy’s right hand.
“How did you know?” Lacy asked.
“I saw him glance at it with one of those self-satisfied smiles men get when they feel they’ve accomplished something. Which means he’s the one pursuing you. I did not see that coming.”
“Neither did I,” Lacy said. She sank into a chair beside the dresser.
“So, what gives?”
In good conscience, Lacy could no longer give her standard “We’re friends” reply, especially not after this weekend. Something was shifting between them. But there was still Tosh, stuck at home with poor Mrs. Rae. “I don’t know,” she replied at last. “Have you ever had amazing chemistry with someone, despite the fact that, on paper, you shouldn’t work at all?”
“No,” Riley said, surprising Lacy with her candor. “I don’t ever ignore what the paper says because eventually feelings fade and all that’s left is the list of why you should or shouldn’t work with someone. You’re not acting like you. It’s weird.”
“Thanks,” Lacy said.
“I didn’t say it was bad, just weird. It’s like this whole new Lacy, one who is kind of carefree. And since you’ve always been buttoned down and boring, it’s a lot to wrap my mind around. Kind of like the fact that Grandma has a serious boyfriend. Gag, what’s that about?”
“You’ll love him,” Lacy said. “You should come home and meet him.”
“It’s Mr. Middleton,” Riley said. “I’ve known him for years. No, thank you.”
“It’s not like that, Riley. He’s different.”
“He’s not Grandpa,” Riley said, echoing their mother’s sentiments. Frannie and Mr. Middleton had come to a tacit peace, but she was in no way a big fan of her biological father. Of course she didn’t know he was her biological father, and neither did Riley, so Lacy tried to keep that in mind and cut her some slack.
“I’m telling you, he’s great. I couldn’t love him more if he were our grandfather. And Grandma’s happy for the first time since Grandpa died. It’s cute to see them together, the way they dote on each other. I’m happy for them.”
Riley’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “If you say so, but, ew. Old people shouldn’t date. It’s weird.”
“It’s not like you suddenly stop feeling and needing things when you’re old,” Lacy said.
“Think about what you’re saying, Lacy. It’s those needs that are grossing me out. Do you think they…”
Lacy smacked her hands over her ears. “Riley, gross! This is Grandma we’re talking about. No, ew, she would never. Gag.”
“You’re the one who said old people have needs,” Riley pointed out.
“Not like that. Can we please change the subject?”
“Let’s talk about you and Jason some more,” Riley said.
Lacy stood. “I’m tired.”
“Fine, then let’s talk about Robert’s family.”
Lacy sat. “Oh, my word, it’s like they all got a weekend pass from the asylum and decided to meet here. Except Aunt Enid. She seems normal.”
“You realize you’re talking about a woman who lets her monkey share her bed.”
“No she doesn’t,” Lacy said.
Riley nodded. “Yeah, she does.”
“I just threw up in my mouth a little,”
“You want to know the best part? Since the monkey loves me so very much, Aunt Enid has already decided that he’s mine when she dies. And you know what else? Capuchin monkeys can live thirty to forty years. Her monkey is ten. That means I could still have a monkey when my children graduate high school. And Robert said it will have to sleep in our bed with us since it’s used to sleeping with Aunt Enid.”
Lacy laughed. “He was kidding, Riley.”
&
nbsp; “How do you know?”
Because I know him, Lacy wanted to say, but she refrained. “Because no reasonable prospective bridegroom is going to share his bed with a monkey.” She shook her head. “There are some phrases you think you’ll never say in your life; that was one.”
“Have you noticed that Mom and Dad have been fighting a lot lately?” Riley said.
“I knew there was something going on, but neither will talk about it with me.”
“Me, neither. I don’t want them to get divorced.”
“They won’t,” Lacy said, but the nervous butterflies in her stomach made her words less convincing. Her parents wouldn’t get divorced after thirty years of marriage. Would they?
“Relationships are hard,” Riley said. “Do you think it’s possible to stay together forever?”
Lacy wondered if all wasn’t rosy in Robert and Riley land, but there was no way she could ask even if she wanted to, which she didn’t. She was trying to be the bigger person about the situation, but she had her limits. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had a lasting relationship.” Thanks to you.
“I should go,” Riley said. “I’ll put this on so I don’t lose it.”
Lacy watched as she fastened the sapphire necklace around her neck. She remembered the exact moment Robert gave it to her on her birthday and all the accompanying words of love he had said. She waited for the inevitable stab of pain the memory would evoke, but none came. Instead it was a dull throb, like an echo of an old wound. She smiled. “Looks good on you.”
Riley smiled and stood. “Tomorrow we’re going to talk about where you got those clothes,” which Lacy knew was actually code for “I’m going to take your clothes.” She let herself out. Lacy took off her sock and threw it at the door.
Chapter 9
Lacy was dreaming. Jason was there, smoothing his hand over her hair. But Tosh was there, too. “Mrs. Rae’s urine output is up by thirty percent,” he said.
Jason smoothed his hand over her hair again.
“But what about me?” Tosh said.
“Lacy,” Jason said.
“Mmm.”
“Lacy, we need to talk.”
Lacy was still in that twilight haze between awake and asleep when she felt the bed sag beside her as if he was sitting down. He smoothed his hand over her hair again and she reached for him, drawing him close for a kiss so he was forced to lie down beside her.
“Lacy, I’ve missed you,” he said, and Lacy came fully awake because the person pressed up against her wasn’t Jason; it was Robert.
She scrambled away from him and fell out of the small bed, landing hard on her backside. “Robert, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you, and this was the only way we could get a minute alone.”
“In my bedroom? You can’t be in here. And you kissed me.”
“You kissed me,” he accused.
“I was asleep,” she said.
“You always kiss men in your sleep?”
“I’m ignoring your question and going back to my earlier what are you doing in here?”
“I just…I really miss you, Lacy. I didn’t realize how much until I saw you again. I think I’ve made a horrible mistake. Riley is…she’s not…you.”
Lacy pressed her hands over her ears and stood up. “Stop it, just stop. Maybe someone should have told you this a long time ago, but you cannot switch between sisters every time you get bored.”
“It’s not boredom. It’s the connection, the deep, gut-level one that you and I shared.”
“That connection was severed when I found your tongue in my sister’s mouth. Get out of my room and let’s never speak of this again,” Lacy said, but Robert remained on her bed, staring up at her with soulful puppy eyes.
“Lacy, can’t you understand that I was confused? I thought Riley was what I wanted, but I think I was wrong. I’m pretty sure it’s you.”
“See, I always thought you were sort of a miracle because you turned out okay despite your family, but now I realize that mental illness is a ticking time bomb and yours just went off. You have issues. Now get out of my room.”
“Not until we talk about this,” Robert said. “Not until I make you understand.”
“I’ll never understand; don’t waste your breath. Jason.” She raised her voice, but she didn’t yell. She didn’t need to, though, because he was there, and he was wearing a bathrobe.
“You wear a bathrobe?” Lacy said.
Jason’s eyes darted from Robert lying on the bed to Lacy standing beside it. “Really? That’s what’s first and foremost on your mind right now? Because it’s not what I’m thinking. What’s he doing in here?”
“That’s the question of the hour. He says he’s not leaving,” Lacy said.
“Yeah?” Jason replied. He took a step forward and Robert scrambled out of bed, scurrying toward the door.
“Look, I just came to talk to Lacy, okay?” Robert said.
“In her bed?” Jason said.
“I was just sitting there. She’s the one who pulled me down and kissed me,” Robert said. They both turned to look accusingly at Lacy.
“I thought he was…you,” she finished lamely, wrinkling her nose when Jason’s lips twisted into a brief yet smug smile before turning back to Robert.
“Riley thought you weren’t together,” Robert said.
“Riley thought wrong,” Jason replied. “Now get out, and don’t come back.”
“This really doesn’t concern you,” Robert said. He was trying to sound authoritative, which failed miserably because his back was pressed furtively against the door like a cornered bunny. “Lacy and I have a lot of history.”
“I’m well acquainted with your history. In fact, I’ve wanted to talk with you about it for a long time now,” Jason said, taking another step forward, and then Robert was out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Jason remained staring at the door a few beats, making sure he was really gone, and then he turned to Lacy.
“A few things: A. That guy is a weasel. B. Your sister is crazy. I locked my door to prevent just such a midnight encounter with her. C. They deserve each other. D. Do you always sleep in see-through gowns?”
Lacy hunched and crossed her arms over her midsection. “Stop looking,” she said.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. “You okay?”
“Yes. The feeling of having escaped something horrible just keeps getting stronger the longer we remain here,” she said. She slipped her arms around his neck and the atmosphere bottomed out like the calm before a storm. “So, you wear a bathrobe,” Lacy said, nervous now and trying to regain some levity.
“Forget about the bathrobe, Red,” Jason replied.
“I wish I could, Hugh Heffner, I really wish I could,” she said.
He smiled, shaking his head. “Show me where the monkey bit you.”
She tilted her head, pointing to a spot on her neck, slightly off center from her jugular. “If you look closely, you can see faint scars from his tiny teeth.”
“Let me see,” he said, tilting closer. He pressed his lips to her neck and it was all over for Lacy. Any attempt she might have made at protesting—which would have been half-hearted to begin with—was now out the window. Instead she went boneless, leaning back in his arms so he was fully supporting her weight. Suddenly he stopped what he was doing and cocked his head toward the bathroom.
“What is it, Lassie? Timmy in the well again?” she asked.
“I thought I heard someone knocking on my door,” he said. “Instinct tells me it was your grandfather because he knows what we’re doing in here.”
“Then we’d better hurry,” Lacy said. She stood on her toes and kissed him, and he reciprocated, at least until her door flew open and Riley stepped inside.
“Oh,” Riley said. “Awkward.”
“If only there was some way to prevent walking in on people when they’re kissing like, I don’t know, knocking,” Lacy said,
reluctantly drawing away from Jason. Reminding her sister to knock before entering her room felt like being a teenager all over again. Riley had always been a nosy snoop.
“I just came to tell you the game has started,” Riley said. She sounded grumpy. “Come to the drawing room.” She turned and left, leaving the door wide open in her wake.
Lacy took a step toward the door, but Jason held her back. He shrugged out of his robe and put it on her, cinching the belt around her waist. “Let’s not give Uncle Chuck a show,” he said.
“Right. I should also get my scarf.” She turned in a circle, but failed to find it.
“Just use the hood on my robe,” Jason said, tugging at the hood.
“You wear a robe with a hood?” Lacy said. “Are you a boxer? Because that’s really the only acceptable excuse for owning this.” She plucked at the robe.
“Maybe I keep it on hand to protect beautiful women from leering creepers,” he suggested.
“I’ll allow that, too,” she said, and then she was distracted by him because he wasn’t wearing a shirt under the robe and, have mercy, the man was ripped. “What were we talking about?”
“We weren’t,” Jason said. “But I guess that’s my cue to grab a shirt.” He headed toward his room, but Lacy plucked a t-shirt from her bag and tossed it to him. “Wear mine. It’s a little big on me.”
He took the shirt and pulled it over his head. “Okay?” he asked.
It was one of Lacy’s older t-shirts she used for working out. Despite the fact that it was large on her, it was still pulled tight across his muscled chest where the word “Babycakes” was splayed in bright pink letters. “Perfect,” Lacy said.
“Good, let’s go.” He took her hand and led her out of the room. The rest of the family was gathered in the drawing room, looking disheveled and half asleep. Hildy lay sprawled on the floor, a splash of white fabric covering her face.
“Nobody touch the body, nobody leave this room until I’ve had a chance to interview you,” Jason said, sounding irritated and a little embarrassed over his performance.
Family Case of Murder Page 6