“Truly you are amazing if you know that much without so much as going through an introduction to our world,” she said.
“Lady, you have a lot to learn about humanity and how things work on this planet these days,” I said. “But thanks for the compliment. Now are we going to get that drink or what?”
She blushed and led me over to a nice half circle booth in the corner that would give us some privacy. Though there was something slightly off about the half circle. As though it wasn’t quite a circle. There were also strange lines going through the top of the table that pulsed with a faint glow, but I figured that was hardly going to be the last crazy magical thing I saw before this was all over.
We settled in and the girl held up two fingers. A barkeep who looked like one of those big orcs who’d been giving her trouble earlier grunted and moved to fill two massive mugs with something that looked like it might be beer.
“He doesn’t look too happy to see you over here with me,” I said. “Old boyfriend of yours or something?”
“Or something,” she said with a shiver. “I would never interact with one of them like that.”
She glared at me like she was genuinely insulted that I would even dare to insinuate that she would get up close and personal with an orc. I held my hands up in a defensive gesture.
“Excuse me,” I said. “I don’t know a lot about your world.”
“Aside from seeming to know everything about it,” she said, smiling sweetly up at the orc as he slammed two massive mugs down on the table. One of them sloshed over a little and bubbled and fizzed when it hit the table.
“I guess they’re believers in serving the hard stuff around here,” I muttered.
elf girl lifted her own and took a drink. She closed her eyes and let out a satisfied sigh. I smiled as I watched her drinking something that dwarfed her. We’re talking it looked like something straight out of the Bree scene in Fellowship of the Ring when they discovered that beer came in pints.
“It’s been far too long,” she said.
“How long have you been away from your world?” I asked.
“Far too long,” she said. “I’ve had… difficulties at every step of the way.”
“You mean like those two oversized assholes who were doing their best to overpower you back in that alley?”
“Something like that,” she said, placing her beer down. “They don’t like that we’ve been able to send someone to choose a new Core.”
“And you trust that asshole behind the bar?” I asked.
She glared at him, then sighed and muttered something so low that I barely heard her. “Even she wouldn’t dare violate the compact like that.”
She moved a little closer to me, and I found myself wondering just how quickly that beer she’d been drinking actually worked. I mean it already looked like she’d taken in well more than she should’ve given her frame, but I wasn’t going to knock it.
“And they will be even less happy now to know that I’ve found a Core worthy of the name,” she said. “I’ve watched your games.”
“My games?”
“Online,” she said. “The game that shows us a path to the Core and has since time immemorial, though I’ll admit the way that game is played these days is odd.”
“Eat your heart out Lance Guest,” I muttered.
“Who?” she asked.
“Something from our world,” I said. “Nothing for you to worry about.”
“I would never worry when I’m with you,” she said, scooting closer.
Oh hell yes. She pressed against me, and there was always something satisfying about getting to the point with a girl where you got to stop imagining what it would feel like to be with her and got to start experiencing it.
It’d been a little too long for me, considering my habit of sitting down to try and study and then finding myself wasting all that studying time with something stupid like playing fucking video games.
Though come to think of it maybe those games weren’t so stupid if they’d gotten me to this point.
“I am so glad I found a true champion for our people,” she said.
She leaned in even closer. Her lips were inches from mine. Her breath was warm against my face, and it smelled faintly of the forest and something spicy but not unpleasant. That, along with her breasts pressing against my arm, was creating one hell of a stirring down between my legs.
“So what do you say?” she asked. “Do you think you could be the champion my people need? All you need do to have the power of a god is say yes.”
5
Otherworldly
So on the one hand I knew I should proceed with caution. I knew this hottie could be playing me. I mean there was a reason that so much of human mythology was full of stories that seemed to be big flashing warning signs telling people to be-fucking-ware when it came to dealing with people like this elf.
Only.
I had another problem, and it was the same problem a lot of guys have had over the years when they have a sweet little something pressing her body against them looking up at them with a big set of eyes that were promising the world if only said stupid guy would go along with whatever it was the girl was trying to get him to do.
I was going a little weak in the knees, and way too hard between the legs, and because of that I guess I was ready to start making promises I had no intention of keeping, and the only problem with that was I was dealing with a creature that was just supernatural enough that she probably had a way to make those promises binding.
Besides, I figured when someone asked you to become a god, you said yes!
“Uh yeah, sure,” I said. “I’d love to be your champion.”
She leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine. It was an intense feeling. I mean sure it’d been awhile since I’d been with a woman, but there was also that I was kissing a magical creature.
Her mouth opened to mine, and it was clear she was hungry. That she needed me. I hadn’t felt this kind of need from a woman ever, and it was one hell of an ego stroke.
That wasn’t all she was stroking either. Her hands moved down between my legs. I jumped at her touch. I’d never gone this far on a first date out in public before and…
Shit. Out in public! Sure we were in a booth that was off in the corner, but that didn’t change the fact that we were in a very public booth in a tavern that looked like something straight out of the Unimaginative Dungeon Master’s Guide.
So I pulled away from the kiss, as much as it pained me to pull away from that kiss. elf girl jutted her lip out in a pout. It was a lower lip that was so fucking sexy. There was just the hint of a sheen there. Like she was wearing lip gloss or something, but there’d been nothing but her taste when she was dueling with my tongue.
“What’s wrong? Am I not good enough for you?”
I looked her up and down. At the way her body filled out that dress. She was a tight little package, and if the way her nipples were straining for me was any indication then she was a tight little package ready for me to unwrap.
I glanced to the tavern. Some people were looking over at us with interest, but most seemed far more interested in whatever they were doing.
Which surprised me, but it’s not like it was totally a surprise. There were plenty of people in the clubs around campus getting it on around the periphery, and most of the time people left them well enough alone unless they were being a little too obvious about trying to make the next generation.
“Everyone’s watching,” I said, though it sounded lame the moment I said it.
“Do you care?” she asked, giggling and shaking her head, which caused her pale hair to fly back and forth across her face in a most alluring way.
I mean everything about this girl was alluring, but whatever.
“I forgot that the people on this world can be so prudish about this sort of thing,” she said, and waved a hand.
Something shimmered around the edge of the booth. The lines running along the to
p of the table also glowed way more intensely for a moment, but then they went down to their normal background level glow.
“There,” she said, her voice suddenly low and throaty as she pressed herself against me again and nibbled at my earlobe. “We’re all to ourself, and no one will be able to see what’s going on in here. So what do you say, my champion?”
I stared at this girl. I didn’t know anything about her other than she shouldn’t exist. Then again there was a lot about what had happened to me since I stepped into that alley that shouldn’t exist, but I was rolling with it.
“I don’t even know your name,” I said.
“Leila,” she said. “Now what do you say, my champion?”
She didn’t have to tell me twice. Well, she didn’t have to tell me for the third or fourth time. I was pretty sure she’d come onto me at least that many times. I didn’t care that I might be signing away my soul to whatever the hell was happening on her world.
All I cared about in that moment was how good she felt pressed against me, and how much I wanted to keep feeling that. How much I wanted to feel every part of her pressing against me.
And so I did the kind of stupid thing that men have been doing since the invention of sex. Yeah, I figured this was the kind of thing that went back farther than humanity, even. I pressed my lips against her again, only this time there was an urgency on both sides.
My hands roamed her body. I cupped her breasts and let out a groan. Oh fuck yes. Those were as perfect as I’d been imagining, and I couldn’t resist having a little taste. So I pulled down on her dress.
I pulled away from the kiss to watch as I pulled down on her dress. At least the small part of the wrap that covered her magnificent breasts. There was something about seeing a girl’s tits bouncing as they were revealed that never failed to excite me, and it was no different with this girl.
If anything it was even hotter. There was the barest hint of a bounce before they went right back to defying gravity, her nipples bright pink puffy points begging for my touch.
I obliged and swirled my tongue around her breasts. She gasped and moaned pressing into me, pulling me into her. I wondered if that little magical screen she’d put around us was keeping the sound in as well, but I honestly didn’t care.
Let all those mythological fuckheads out there listen in.
I moved my hands down between her legs. She parted them for me and gasped as I pressed a finger against her.
I looked up at her and smiled a little half smile.
“No underwear?”
“I thought you might like that,” she said, gasping as my fingers pressed into her.
Her hips churned against my fingers. It was like my fingers were a live wire, and the only thing I needed to do to hit her with the ultimate pleasure was hold them there.
Which was a hell of a lot easier than it’d been with some past girlfriends, thank you very much. Not that I was complaining. Getting them there had always been a hell of a lot of fun.
“So good,” she gasped. “This is everything I’ve dreamed of.”
Her gasps got less intelligible after this, but I got the feeling from her moans that this was something she’d been dreaming about, and now that it was finally happening it was pushing her over the edge.
“So good,” she whimpered.
I’d learned long ago that when I was doing something that a lady seemed to appreciate then it was a good idea to keep right on doing exactly what it was she appreciated. So I held my fingers right there and let her ride me. I did decide to mix it up a bit by pressing my lips to hers again.
The kiss was immediate, and hungry. Like I was almost worried she was going to take my tongue off or something, she was so quick to attack me. Her tongue swirled into my mouth and I was met with that intoxicating taste all over again.
That taste and something else. An energy pulsing through me that surprised me. It felt like back in that alley fighting off those orc assholes. I felt more alive, more whole, basically way better than I ever had before in my life.
I loved it, and if making out with this girl gave me more of that feeling then sucking face with her was my new favorite thing!
It was a good thing we were sucking face, too. Her moans were getting louder and louder. I could smell her arousal surrounding us, and it had my cock throbbing to the point that I was worried I was going to pop a button or something.
She was screaming into my mouth now. So loud. So hot. So wet. It was like I was along for the ride now for all that she was the one having a hell of a time.
Then she stopped and shivered as she held me tight. So tight that I worried she might break something with that impossible strength she’d shown earlier.
But somehow I held up against that strength. It was like that strange energy was pushing out even as she hit me with a grip so intense that I worried it might crush me.
The screaming finally subsided. She pulled back and stared at me through hooded eyes. Licked her lips as she looked me up and down. That was a look that promised a lot more fun.
“So I take it you enjoyed yourself?” I asked.
“That was every bit as incredible as I’v always thought it would be,” she said.
She leaned forward again, and again her hand was pressing against my cock. Her eyes went wide and darted down between my legs, and when she licked her lips again I couldn’t help but wonder what it might feel like to have that tongue pressing against my cock as her pretty little lips wrapped around it.
Oh fuck yes.
“I think it’s time for me to show you a taste of the welcome you can expect from my people when you come to our world,” she said with a smile and a wink. “It’s only fitting that a god’s high priestess should welcome him, right?”
Oh hell yes. I didn’t know what all that high priestess stuff was about, though I could make a good fucking guess, but I didn’t care as long as she was about to do what I thought she was about to do.
That seemed like a roundabout way of saying the Netflix and chill that’d been promised was skipping the Netflix and getting right to the chilling, but at the same time I figured on her world they probably didn’t even have a concept of Netflix and chill and I wasn’t about to interrupt things to try and explain it to her.
“I’m up for whatever kind of welcome you want to give me,” I said.
“Oh you’re going to love this,” she said.
I figured I was. So I reached out and grabbed my drink. Took a deep pull from the thing for the first time that night. The thing hit me with all the force of a freight train barreling down the tracks on a little subcompact car driven by somebody with no appreciation for the stopping distance on a freight train when they’d decided shaving a few seconds off their morning commute was worth the risk of stopping on the tracks.
Like we’re talking the thing hit me with enough stopping power that it knocked me against the back of the booth. I stared down at it and thought I detected a faint dark glow in the thing that was pulsing in counterpoint to the white light coming off of the table.
“Holy shit,” I said. “When you say they make this stuff with a punch around here you weren’t lying.”
Leila had been in the process of taking a drink of her own, and the black glow was more obvious in her mug. She stared down with dawning horror, and I figured that wasn’t good.
I figured our orc friend had to be up to something. That drink did have the same effect as the orc bartender walking over here and socking me in the gut.
“No!” Leila said, staring between her half finished drink and my empty mug.
What can I say? I felt like I needed some booze in my system. Maybe I’d been a little eager, but I hadn’t figured that orc asshole would be slipping me anything either!
I looked to the bartender who was staring and grinning at me from across the way with a little more intensity than was strictly necessary. That also confused me since he wasn’t supposed to be able to see what was happening here.
Wha
t the hell?
I put the mug down and that glow was gone, but not entirely. Because it was pulsing through my body now in counterpoint to the glow on the table.
“What did they do?” Leila gasped, looking out across the bar to where the barkeep was staring at us with that same weird intensity. “This breaks the compact! She wouldn’t dare!”
“Pretty sure that orc is a dude,” I said.
“And his Core is a woman!” Leila hissed. “A woman who has done her best to destroy my people with her dark arts, and now she’s broken the compact because she doesn’t think it matters!”
“Sounds like a real bitch,” I muttered, feeling just a touch lightheaded.
I let out a hiccup, and an odd little glowing cloud of breath flew out of me. My eyes narrowed as I got a good look at that little puff of glowing magic. Not the kind of thing I would’ve expected to see coming out of me.
There’d been all sorts of interesting colors that’d spewed out of my mouth over the years when my body had decided it’d had enough of whatever it was I was pouring into it, but usually that was in a liquid or semi-solid form. Not a glowing gaseous form.
“It’s too late,” she hissed. “It’s already started.”
She reached into her dress and rummaged around. My eyebrows shot up. I had a good idea of what she wanted to do that she was trying to get out of that dress, but I was disappointed when she pulled out a long crystal that looked sort of like something Christopher Reeve would use to have a chit chat with Marlon Brando, and it glowed with a faint white light in the center.
“Here, take this,” she said, putting it in my hand. “This is important. The bonding was supposed to happen before you went between worlds, but…”
I stared at her and cocked an eyebrow. “Excuse me, but what’s already started?”
“This is a place between the worlds,” she said. “A spot where people from your world and people from my world can meet with one another. To complete the journey between the worlds takes powerful magic. I’d been working up to that…”
Puny God Page 5