The remaining orcs fell to the ground writhing and howling in pain. A second round of shots from the trees silenced those howls, and just like that the battle was over.
I did a quick check of our surroundings. With this top down view I could see areas that I’d run through, but most of that running had been in the city which was far from here so all I could see right now was the lit up clearing where I was currently, the path those two melee units were taking through the forest as they pursued those orcs, and a smaller bubble that showed where they were currently.
Awesome. I could see what my units saw. Talk about convenient.
Talk about a trip. It looked for all the world like when Jake and I had downloaded an ancient copy of the original Warcraft and spent an evening playing a couple of levels together, with me doing the thinking and Jake doing the clicking.
It’d taken some doing to get it working in DOSBox, but it’d been a strangely compelling game. I could totally see why it got a bunch of people addicted to strategy games back in the ancient times before online play when they had to network computers together with phone cords. My dad had told me about those dark days of his youth and it sounded horrible.
“You did it!” Rachel said, walking up to me. Only she hadn’t gotten more than a few steps when she was hit with a strange look and fell forward.
I was there in an instant, my arms wrapped around her. She felt surprisingly solid, and I couldn’t help but remember the tryst we’d shared the night before. She felt good pressed against me, but then I got a look at her face.
Every major blood vessel was filled with strange black lines, and her eyes had gone white. As she looked up at me she let out a hiss and tensed like she was about to come for me, but a moment later her eyes came back to what I assumed was their normal blue and she was breathing heavily in my arms.
The black lines even started to subside. It was slow, to be sure, but I figured that had to be a good thing. I was also glad she wasn’t in the mood to attack me considering how badass she’d been in the fight with those orcs.
I figured if they were going down left and right when she hit them then there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that I’d be able to stand up to her. Especially if she was using that sword thing.
“What the fuck was that?” I growled.
“The price I paid,” she said. “That Dark Lady bitch said she’d send me back, but I guess I should’ve known not to trust her promises.”
I frowned. Someone going around calling themselves something ridiculous like “Dark Lady” didn’t seem like any kind of person I wanted to get in touch with. Or the kind of person I’d try to make a deal with, but now didn’t seem like the time to bring something like that up.
“Okay then,” I said. “I don’t suppose you’d maybe want to tell me a little more about this Dark Lady?”
She shook her head and put a hand to her forehead. Her eyes squeezed shut and it was clear she was in some pain. I hated to see her in pain. I’d only known her for a little while, but I had to admit I was already head over heels for this woman.
And not in the sense that you fall head over heels for, say, a cool girl in your Biology lecture who sits next to you the first week of your first year of college and you start to bond but it turns out she has a boyfriend back home and then you both maybe make a little mistake one night in her dorms because she misses him and you’re there and y’know what? The less I go down that particular memory lane the better, thank you very much.
Chuckling from the other side of the small battle drew my attention. I glanced at Rachel to see if she’d be okay, but she stood straight and seemed to collect herself. She looked at me and nodded.
She still looked a little shaky, but it was clear from the challenging look she gave me that she wasn’t going to take any shit from me. Like shit where I tried to tell her that maybe she should take it easy.
The chuckling turned out to be the orc leader who’d had his arms removed back at the beginning of the fight. His eyes were glassy, and it looked like he was in a hell of a lot of pain and on the verge of death.
I had to admire that he was using his last bit of consciousness to laugh at us. Like he knew he still had the upper hand. The real bitch of it was I didn’t know enough about this world to know whether or not he was right, and that galled me.
“What the fuck is so funny?” Rachel asked.
“You’ve already lost,” he growled. “We might not get the Core, but we will get the Conduit. You’ll never be able to do this again.”
He laughed again, and a chill ran down to the depths of my bones. I didn’t like how certain this asshole seemed that he and his buddies were going to do terrible things. I also had no idea what the fuck he was talking about, but from the way camp girl had gone pale she had a pretty good idea of what was going on here.
I figured if she didn’t like something then that meant I shouldn’t like it either.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
It was right about then that I heard screams in the distance. Screams that seemed almost familiar, for all that I shouldn’t know anyone on this world. Screams that I knew I had to do something about, because if someone was out there screaming and this orc asshole was gloating about how he’d won even though he was lying on the ground bleeding out then the two were probably related.
Then I felt it. The sure feeling that the two elves I’d sent off chasing that escaping orc were in a fight, and it wasn’t going well. I could tell it wasn’t going well because I could feel every hit they took.
“Where are they?” Rachel asked.
“That way,” I said, pointing off into the distance.
I wasn’t sure how I knew that they were off that way. I wasn’t pulled out into my tactical view of the world or anything. I just knew. I’d just had a couple of my troops bite the big one, and I could tell the direction they’d been in when they bit that big one.
It was a hell of a way to scout, but whatever. It worked.
“We need to go now,” Rachel said. “If what they’re saying is true then we might be in serious trouble.”
“How serious?” I asked.
“Like we might not be able to ever get the hell out of this place,” she growled and then took off into the forest.
I stood there for a moment staring at the elves. Honestly I wasn’t sure if getting the hell out of this world was something I wanted. I mean sure that fight had been pretty intense, and it’d been touch and go there for a little bit as to whether or not we’d survive, but now that I’d come through victorious I was getting the same feeling I got when I’d just won an online game and my ranking went up.
Eleric looked at me, and for a moment I worried I might not have troops following me as I plunged through the forest. It would be just my luck that it was me and the crazy hot girl from between worlds who’d admitted she’d failed and wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of here to take on whatever was out there stirring shit.
Then Eleric surprised me by crossing his arms in front of himself in a move that was clearly a salute. The other elves lined up behind him and did the same, and I felt a rush of power slam into me with all the force of a punch to the gut.
It was like their faith in me was magical fuel that made me even more powerful. I could feel them standing there, and their thoughts were clearer than they’d been in the fight. I got the feeling it would be that much easier to give them orders in the heat of battle the next time.
Which was probably a good thing considering there was still screaming going on in the distance which probably meant there was another battle in the offing pretty fucking soon.
“We stand with you,” Eleric said with a nod.
“Good,” I said. “Because it sounds like we need to go rescue someone from some of those orc motherfuckers.”
The elves laughed and nodded, and as one we turned and plunged into the forest. I didn’t even need to look to see that they were following me. No, I could feel them behind me.
>
It was a small band of followers, but I suppose everyone had to start somewhere.
10
Damsel in Distress, Again
We plunged through the forest, and it felt a little easier than the last time I tried this. As though I could feel my way through the underbrush and foliage and some of the branches coming my way more easily than before.
Odd, that. Maybe that connection I had with the band of elves went both ways. I couldn’t hear or see them moving through the forest, but I could sense them through the bond. I also knew enough about moving through the forest now to know I was making an unholy racket.
Whatever. We needed to get to those screams fast. It sounded like there was a damsel in distress out there, and I was going to save her.
Not to mention I figured the odds would be a little better this time around considering I had a bunch of heavily armed elves at my back ready to do some serious damage to anyone who crossed me.
I zoomed out to that tactical view, and immediately regretted it. No sooner had I zoomed out to get a look at everyone in my little army than I slammed into a branch and fell back on my ass.
I was immediately pulled back to my body. I glanced around to see if anyone had seen that, but if any elves had seen my embarrassing moment there they weren’t stopping to have a laugh.
Suddenly someone was over me. I felt a moment of panic as I worried that I’d run into another orc. For all that I shouldn’t be panicking considering how I’d held my own in the last couple of fights against the hulking fuckers. The thing leaned down. Offered a hand. I realized it was Rachel as my vision cleared from the hit I took.
“You tried zooming out while you were on the run, didn’t you?” she asked.
“Um, maybe,” I said, annoyed that I’d been so obvious.
“You’re going to need to gain some experience before you can do something like that,” she said, then looked at the glowing crystal in my hand and frowned. “And why do you still have that thing out here? You should’ve absorbed it by now. You’ll have a much easier time directing the troops if you do that.”
“The what with the what?” I asked.
Another scream sounded in the distance.
Rachel growled and yanked me up like I weighed nothing.
“That’s quite the grip you have there,” I said with a wink.
“Not the time or the place,” she said, though a small smile did crack her face. “If we survive this then we might be able to have a repeat of what happened back there in the void.”
My cock was already stirring at her words. Oh fuck yes I wouldn’t mind having a repeat of what’d happened back in the void, thank you very much. Though I didn’t have much of a chance to think about it considering the forest was pierced with another scream that would seem to indicate there was someone seriously in trouble while we were standing here flirting.
Also? I was pretty sure I recognized the voice. It wasn’t just familiar. It was…
“Leila,” we both breathed at the same time.
The girl looked at me and frowned. “We’re in serious trouble if they take out Leila. She’s the chosen Conduit right now, and if they manage to kill her then we really are stuck here forever, and the elves won’t ever be able to bring a hero to this world again.”
“Sounds like a real bad time,” I said.
Though I still wasn’t sure I wanted to leave this world. That also seemed like the kind of thing I probably shouldn’t be saying to Rachel though. I didn’t have much of anything waiting for me back on the other side, but clearly she did.
“Come on,” I said, sensing something in the back of my mind that told me the elves had made contact with whatever the hell was happening. “I think the guys have met whatever’s waiting for us.”
“Can you see what they’re doing?” Rachel asked.
“Um, can I see what they’re doing?” I asked. “You have a lot more experience with this than I do.
She rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm to drag me along. “We don’t have time for lessons right now. We need to get to Leila before they gut her.”
I frowned. The thought of those assholes gutting the pretty elf girl filled me with a white hot rage that made me want to kill stuff. It also caused the glow in my gem to start to pulse in time with the rage pulsing in my head. Almost like we were connected even though the gem wasn’t attached like Rachel seemed to think it should be.
Oh yeah. It was time to bust some heads.
We moved through the forest, not bothering to try and keep the noise down now. Now wasn’t the time for subtlety. Now was the time for making a shitload of noise so the orcs would stop whatever they were doing to Leila and focus on us instead.
A moment later we burst into a small clearing. Small in the sense that it was the space that’d been opened around a massive tree that looked like the kind of thing Godzilla could use for a scratching post, but not so small considering these trees were so huge that any clearing they created was going to be equally massive.
Like we’re talking the gnarled bark looked more like a mountain than an actual tree. I could imagine Shatner trying to climb the thing way past his prime because he was the director, damn it, and he was going to be one with the mountain whether or not that made any sense.
Leila was right there backed against the tree looking at a group of about ten orcs that’d gathered around her and had their weapons held up high. The only thing that’d stopped them was the timely arrival of my elves, and there were a few glowing crystals embedded in some of the orcs that helped with the distraction.
There was one motherfucker who was even uglier and bigger than the rest of them, and that was saying something considering how ugly and huge all these motherfuckers were to begin with. Like we’re talking they were easily twice the size of any of the elves in my group.
I pulled out to the tactical view, and my magic conveniently provided me with a heads up display that looked so familiar it was almost enough to make me go back to the theory that this was all a concussion dream or something.
The orcs were helpfully highlighted with red circles, and the elves on my side were in blue. I gave the ones with ranged weapons a mental command to get the fuck up into the trees, a favorite strategy of mine back when I’d been playing this game on a computer monitor.
“We need to plan this out,” Rachel said. “We’ve got ten orcs out there, and they’re definitely going to cause some serious damage. We might be able to make it if we try to kite them with a run and gun through the forest. Play things cautious and… what the fuck are you doing?”
I was already stepping out of the foliage as she was going through her battle plan. It was a decent plan, but it didn’t have any sort of awesome factor to it.
I figured if you were going to do something you might as well do it with some flair. Sure that’d lost me some battles playing online, but at least they’d been spectacular failures that made for good videos after the fact.
It didn’t occur to me that a spectacular failure might not be the best result here until I’d stepped out into the clearing and a bunch of orcs turned to raise their swords at me. We’re talking wicked curved swords with red and black blades that glowed with an unholy darkness.
I know it makes no sense to think of something glowing with darkness, but it’s the only way I can think to describe what was happening.
Oh well. I was already out here, so I guess there was nothing for it but to play my part.
“Hey guys,” I said. “I couldn’t help but notice you’re menacing one of my friends and threatening to kill her. It’d be awfully swell if you could maybe not do that.”
I don’t know why I was suddenly talking like I was trying to get a couple of greasers in leather jackets to leave someone alone after the sock hop, but it seemed to be annoying the orcs so I suppose it was doing the trick. They grunted, and the big one stepped forward.
I tried not to focus too much on the way the ground shook under the big orc asshole as he took a step
closer. Like we’re talking it felt like Godzilla was taking a stroll somewhere in the distant forest. He stared down at me and put his sword behind his shoulders, which only emphasized how fucking big that thing was.
Eat your heart out, Cloud Strife, because that was the kind of sword that could split me down the middle and I doubted this asshole would even breathe hard.
“Puny god,” the big guy said. “The Dark Lady will be pleased. I’ll bring her the Core, the Puny God, and the Conduit all in one glorious battle!”
I could practically hear all the capital letters dripping off of what he was saying. I could’ve given him the pleasure of asking what the fuck he was talking about, but I’d seen enough of this shit to have a pretty good idea of exactly what he was talking about without having to go through all the pesky exposition that usually came with a conversation like this.
“You people keep saying that,” I said. “Your reference game is on point even if it’s a few years out of date, but honestly, the last people who made that mistake are all dead. Sorry if that was your buddy, by the way.”
The massive orc’s brow lowered and darkness passed across his face. He threw his head to the skies and let out a massive bellow. The other orcs also threw their heads to the sky and let out bellows of their own. We’re talking some real Klingons welcoming a warrior to Suto’vo’qor shit.
I figured if these assholes were going to stand around screaming at the treetops and ignoring their surroundings then I was more than happy to take advantage. Never miss an opportunity to kick an enemy while they’re down or not paying attention.
I gripped the gem and pulled back to tactical view. Then I willed my ranged units to hit the orcs all around the big fucker with everything they had. There was a purple ring around the big asshole that screamed he was a boss encounter that would be a little more difficult than the others to take out, and I figured the best way to handle a boss encounter with a bunch of adds was to take out the adds before they had a chance to fuck up the encounter.
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