by KC Kendricks
"I'm still thinking it over. Maybe I should do this one."
"If you do, you know I'll support your decision all the way."
"I know. I don't see myself as a role model, though."
Stacy turned his head, lifted his arm, and sniffed. "I stink. Time for soap. Can you see yourself washing my back?"
He held his hand out to me. I reached for it, and his strong fingers closed around mine. Such a simple touch, and yet my heart swelled with love for him.
"Will you scrub mine?" I batted my eyelashes at him.
He leered at me, and we pulled each other up off the chaise lounge. Stacy took a few steps toward the house.
I grabbed him. "Oh, stop right there, old man. You will not walk inside in those pants. If you drop one little dirtball on the carpet, Mrs. Gilcrest will blame me for it!"
Stacy hung his head, pretending shame. I knew better. He'd stood back and snickered the last time our housekeeper-slash-domestic terrorist let loose on me for tracking oil-laden sawdust from the shop onto the kitchen floor.
We did appreciate that she kept our home tidy.
He peeled out of his T-shirt and tossed it at me. Just outside the breezeway door, he stripped to the buff and scampered inside, while I shook the mulch out his clothes and got them to the laundry room.
Steam rolled out the bathroom door when I opened it. I undressed slowly, watching Stacy through the prism of water drops on the shower door.
We were the same height, but he was a good thirty pounds heavier. Cursed with skinny genes, I'd never muscle up like him--and he didn't even work all that hard at it. He moaned and whined about the ten pounds he'd gained in the last five years, but I couldn't spot them on him. Broad shouldered with trim hips and thighs kept strong by karate stretches and kicks, he was a good-looking man.
"Are you getting wet or just gawking, Levi?"
I opened the door and stepped into his arms. I lived for this moment, every day, when work was behind us and we could be in our own private world. I still hadn't burned away the loneliness of the past week while he'd been away making deals. Last night we'd reclaimed each other; tonight we'd give the other what he liked most.
Stacy spun me around and pinned me against the warming tiles. His mouth came down on mine, demanding surrender. I opened my lips and let him plunder. His tongue slid in and out, mimicking the rocking motion of his hips. My pulse quickened as my cock lengthened and filled. I cupped his muscled buttocks and pulled his pelvis to mine. He was already hard. I slid down the wet wall to my knees and buried my face against his groin.
Stacy gripped my shoulders as I sucked him. I knew, without looking, his eyes were closed. I tasted the sweet-sour drop his body leaked and released him. I knew, after so many years, that once his arousal reached that point, I had to back off so he would last a while. If I got greedy and didn't ease up, he could finish quickly.
He pulled me to my feet. "I'm gonna need a prescription to keep up with you pretty soon, puppy."
"So get one, old man. You won't go broke. We can cut back to twice a night through the week and save the pills for Saturday nights."
Stacy laughed softly, but his words left me wondering, again, what was going on with him. Mid-life crisis, maybe? At forty-five he was allowed, although I didn't know if I could make the right moves to reassure him about relationship stuff. I rolled my shoulders as his fingers dug into my tense neck muscles.
"Oh, God, that feels good." I groaned.
He slapped a wet washrag against my chest. "Get clean."
I dutifully scrubbed myself, washed his back, then he did mine. Stacy flipped his cloth over the rod and turned to me. He looked every bit the sexy drowned rat. My whole body tightened with anticipation, even before he touched me. His slick fingertips teased my nipples, trailing suds to my belly button. Already aroused, my erection surged, even before his slick palm glided along the underside of my cock. I braced my feet and pressed my back flat to the tiles as Stacy went to his knees.
He took me in, his tongue teasing the tip, following his fingers as he slowly pulled my foreskin back. I barely managed to stand still. Stacy knew how sensitive I was around the rim and played it to its full measure. His hand moved over my shaft, rolling the outer skin over the hard core, driving me crazy. I urged him on as his fingers stroked between my buttocks. I hit the threshold and cried out to him as I came.
I trembled as his arms came around me; tasted my semen on his lips when he kissed me. I laid my head to rest on his shoulder. The water pelted us as we stood there. His voice was soft in my ear as his hand caressed my back. "Hungry?"
I nodded as I fondled his erection. "For more of you. Food later."
Stacy turned off the shower, grabbed a towel, and headed for the bed, drying as he went. I followed close behind so I could play with his behind. He twitched it for me, prancing along, laughing at my efforts to get enough flesh to pinch him. We made it to the bed, and I tackled him.
We fell onto the mattress in a jumble of arms and legs. Stacy tried to roll me, but I fought against his strength. When he got serious, I couldn't take him. He was just too strong. Those extra pounds he had on me were all muscle.
Stacy growled and put a move on me, flipping me to my back. My knees slid along his sides. I couldn't have stopped them if I'd wanted to. Somewhere in the back of my mind was relief at his strength. Fumbling in the nightstand drawer, my fingers found the lube, and I squirted a stream of it between our bellies. Stacy grinned and slid his cock into the gel.
"Are you in a hurry, puppy?"
I squeezed his ribcage with my thighs. He rubbed his slick erection over my turgid penis, his gaze watching me. I knew he'd tease me until I got hard again. He lowered his body onto mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding him while he kissed me for a hundred short years.
In my saner moments, I wondered if I were addicted to him, to our lovemaking. Most times, I didn't care. His cock rubbing mine was delicious. The first shivers of fresh arousal skittered through me, settling in my groin. I swelled with each teasing glide of his body against mine. I whispered his name. His eyes glowed in the fading daylight.
Stacy shifted his weight, rising up on his knees, and the tip of his lube-slick cock slipped into me. I jumped and yelped, unprepared for the sudden pressure. My reaction made both of us laugh--laughter had always been a part of our lovemaking--then it was all I could do to relax and breathe as he pushed past the tight ring of muscle into me.
His voice was husky with his need for me. "Levi? Okay?"
I couldn't believe he expected me to talk, to form thoughts, much less words. In this moment, when I was as close as I could get to him, I lived in a different place, where only sensation mattered. I tightened my muscles around him and managed a moan. Slowly, he pulled back. My eyes crossed with the pleasure. My erection completed. I couldn't feel the sheet beneath me. I knew only Stacy.
He moved carefully, his passion building to where he was less cautious. I wrapped my hand around my cock and stroked in tandem with him, the tension building at the base of my spine. Stacy pressed me down into the linens, holding me impaled beneath him as the heat of his climax swept out of him and into me. I threw myself into the flames with him, burning, my cries mixing with his as I came.
Stacy held himself tightly to me, coming down to me, finding my mouth. Where before his kiss aroused, now his tongue stroked mine in that mysterious way that calmed me after we'd loved. I held him with shaking limbs, refusing to give up his softening flesh. He groaned as his penis slipped from my body, sprawling limply on top of me. I closed my eyes and soaked up his nearness.
The phone rang, jarring me out of my sweet lassitude. Stacy grunted as he reached over me and grabbed the receiver.
"Yeah."
His gaze flicked to mine, unreadable in the twilight.
"He's right here." Stacy handed me handset.
"It's Aaron."
* * *
Chapter 4
* * *
Over breakfa
st the next morning, the plan became for me to drop Stacy off at his office on my way to the shop. I sensed him brooding about something, perhaps even the phone call last night. Or maybe it was just he'd picked up on my pissed off mood over Aaron calling me at home.
He still looked a little tired around the eyes, which worried me, but he'd had plenty of energy last night, and beat me out of bed this morning. Tired or pensive, he was very quiet, which meant I wasn't going to like whatever it was he mulled over saying to me when he opened up.
Experience had taught me that when Stacy had a point to make, he made it gently. I didn't react as badly to his suggestions as I had five years ago. I had matured a little bit. I made up my mind I wasn't going to overreact to what he had to say about Aaron. And I knew it was coming.
"Levi, take a moment and call me if you're going to be later than one o'clock picking me up."
I snorted. Tonight was the final singles round of the local bi-annual pool tournament. I'd made the cut through all the preliminary rounds, so I had a four o'clock sign-in deadline to meet. Twenty players would square off for the first place individual prize of eight grand. Team competition elimination rounds began tomorrow.
"I won't be. You can always drop me off, you know. I've got a few cars I can slap a dealer's tag on and drive home, if I have to."
"You know, lover..."
"Don't start, Stacy."
I felt his gaze on me, but I kept mine on the road. He sighed and forged ahead with what he wanted to say.
"Levi, I hope you don't jump all over Aaron for calling last night. He's new in our circle and had no way to know we don't like to do business in the evenings."
I didn't mention that he always--always--took Jeremy Mayfield's call.
"I'm not going to jump on him, but I am going to suggest he write down his questions and save them for the next day." I grinned at Stacy. "I'll tell him it's hard for me to talk with your dick in my mouth. That'll make him jealous."
Stacy rolled his eyes, grinning. He knew I wouldn't actually say that to Aaron. I had developed a smidgen of couth over the years.
"Listen, Levi, don't bite my head off, but it's okay for you to be friends with Aaron."
Fuck. Here it comes. "Stace, the man is my director. I don't want to mix business with pleasure, so to speak."
"You don't have any bi or gay friends, Levi. That worries me."
"I have lots of gay friends." I rattled off a list of names.
"And you met all of them because they were friends with me first. You need friends your own age."
"What do you call Joey, Bill, Rob, Leon, JR, Mikey, and Steve? I've been friends with them since school. We're an original 'brat pack.'"
"None of them are even bi, Levi, and you are. They're all straight. You can relate to them because you had your share of girlfriends, but do they relate to you?"
I really hated it when he reminded me of how many girlfriends I'd gone through trying to figure out why I wasn't satisfied with sex. He didn't mean it as an insult, just as a way to make his point. And I got the point, I really did. Stacy was the only male lover I'd ever had and he worried I'd start to wonder what I'd missed since I hadn't done any youthful cruising around.
"You really frustrate me some days, Stace."
His hand slipped into my lap, lying warm on my inner thigh. "I don't mean to. I was too afraid to go out much when I was in my twenties, and I had my regrets. I don't want that for you."
"They must be some big regrets if, after twenty-five years, you still feel them."
He squeezed my leg. "I haven't had one regret for myself in five years, Levi."
I slowed the 'Vette and turned toward The Chop Shop and not his office. I knew him, knew his mood today. He'd sit in his office and fidget, not work. He needed the car so he could escape.
Stacy chuckled over my choice of streets. "God, you've got me all figured out, don't you?"
I snorted. "I wish, old man. Why don't you ask Dad to show you the GTO?"
"I will. Why don't you ask Aaron if he needs a playmate when he's in town? If he does, we can introduce him to a few of the guys."
"I'm not fucking pimping for him."
Stacy laughed at that. I stopped the car at the end of the shop's driveway and turned to him. "Can you just let go of your notion that I'm missing out on life? I don't feel like I am."
"Okay. But here's the thing, Levi. I want--"
"Just stop. I love you."
To my utter shock, Stacy grabbed both my wrists, his powerful grip tight enough to bruise. His gaze bored into mine, freezing me cold. "You stop, Levi. Listen, just this once. You're so afraid I'll be pissed if I see you get a hard-on for some other guy, you run from me when I want to talk about it. Do you think in five years I've never seen another man that gave me a little tingle? It happens to everyone, lover. It's not something to be ashamed of."
My voice didn't want to work. "I'm not you."
"No, you're not. I've never cheated on you, Levi." He looked at me for the longest moments of my life, his eyes gone black with some emotion I had no name for.
I knew. I knew.
"I heard what the bartender said the other night. You need to know that if it ever happens and you trick some guy, you don't need to keep it from me. I expect you to first, be safe, and second, to tell me so we can be more careful."
Ice water tossed in my face would not have chilled me more than his words.
"What the fuck is going on here, Stacy? I've never cheated on you. Never. And I'm not starting now."
"Levi, we've been together a long time and, as a couple, we've enjoyed unprotected sex for quite a while now. Do I need to be concerned?"
A fine trembling seized my body. This conversation was out of control, the potential for disaster increasing by the second. My stomach clenched in on itself until I fought back the dry heaves. The world spiraled around me, going black at the edges. I broke free of his hands.
"I love you. I never cheat on you. Yet you sit there and ask me if it's possible I could have given you the clap--or something worse? Maybe I should be the one worrying. And you have to do it here? You motherfucker! I have to go in there and work!" I choked, unable to breathe. "I never..."
Stacy's arms came around me. I shoved him away, holding him at bay. The words came as I managed a deep breath. Horrible words I couldn't stop from pouring out of me in my anger and pain that he didn't know me well enough to believe how much I loved him.
"Why don't you go get a fucking blood test since you can't trust me? Now you listen to me. You decide whether you love me enough to have me hang around because if I've gotten a little old for you, you should tell me. I'll step aside so you can go find yourself another sixteen-year-old!"
He drew back as if I'd struck him, which I had. I'd lashed out, hitting him with the most damaging words I owned. He'd been falsely accused of having sex with a sixteen-year-old boy when he was twenty. The boy had lied--Stacy hadn't touched him--but the accusation had almost ruined Stacy's life. The pain remained, and I, who loved him so much, knew the wound lingered in him, unhealed at its deepest point.
And I used it against him.
I reached for him, and this time he batted my hands away.
"I'm sorry, Stace. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that."
"You said it, so you did mean it. Now get out of the car. I can't be with you right now."
My stomach roiled. "Stacy, please, we need to go back home and talk this out."
He refused to look at me. The cold rage in his voice didn't completely disguise the hurt. "No, we don't. Going home won't fix this, Levi. I need some time alone. I'm sure Danny or Luke will give you a lift back to the house to get your pickup. Do us both a favor and find someplace else to sleep tonight."
"Stacy? Look at me."
He shook his head. "Go."
Somehow, I managed to get out of the 'Vette. I stood by the driver's door on shaking legs, waiting for him to come around. My lover stopped in front of me, close enough I felt the hea
t rolling off his body, caught the acrid scent of his nervous sweat. I braced myself, then raised my chin and met his empty gaze. My heart was bleeding out and I didn't know how to stop it.
"Go to work, Levi. You have people in there depending on you."
"Where will you be?"
"I don't know."
Stacy flung himself into the Corvette and yanked the door out of my hand. There was nothing I could do but stand there and watch. He didn't squeal the tires, didn't gun the engine. He just...drove away.
A hand gripped my shoulder, and the gravelly voice of my father spoke from behind me. "Levi?"
Oh, God. Had he witnessed the whole thing? He must have or he wouldn't have walked all the way out to the road.
"Don't make me talk right now, Dad. I can't. I've got filming to do."
"If that's what you want. Can you keep it together?"
I did wonder, but I had to try. I took a deep, steadying breath before I looked at him. "Do me a favor, Dad, and don't call Stacy. Let him alone. This is between me and him."
"He holds a note on our building. If things go bad between the two of you, it affects all of us."
"What? You'll stop making the payments? I doubt that."
"He could call for the entire sum. He could demand you pay your one-third of the note now. Do you have fifty-thousand dollars salted away?"
"Yeah, you insisted on that clause, so you can sweat it, but he won't do it. Stacy isn't like that." I brushed past my dad, angry that his first thought was about money.
I remembered the night we'd all sat down to discuss the possibility of enlarging the shop so we could do the cable show.
It hadn't been all about the money that night. It had been about the future. We'd wanted to do the show in the worst kind of way. It would generate income, now and with residuals, and increase our steady, but not growing, client base. Doing the show was a solid business move. The only problem--The Chop Shop couldn't get a construction loan. One hundred fifty grand was a lot of money to loan a pack of mechanics with an erratic cash flow.
At that point, Stacy and I had been together for two years, and I'd been as shocked as my father and uncle when he calmly said he'd loan us what we needed to expand. I never cared how much money Stacy had, so I'd never asked. He admitted to being comfortable, and I'd let it go at that. He went to work every day, same as everyone else I knew.