by Kit Morgan
He held her close. “Is this why you think Julian and Ellie won’t suit? Because she’s a servant in someone else’s home?”
Betsy sniffed, and squared her shoulders. “An undertaker in a small town is a far cry from a shipping king.”
“Betsy,” he whispered. “That’s not who I am anymore. Nor is it who I want to be.”
She looked at him. “You mean that?”
He nodded. “I certainly do.”
“You wouldn’t mind spending your life here in Independence?”
“Of course not. Ammy’s here and you’re here … why would I leave?”
She pulled a handkerchief from her apron pocket and loudly blew her nose. “Well, don’t that beat all!” she sobbed as she threw her arms around his neck.
Cecil smiled and held her even tighter. The one-time shipping king then kissed the fair maid (in the serving sense and otherwise), and said it again. “I’m not going anywhere.”
* * *
Ellie sat on her bed at the Brocks’ and stared at the floor. She needed to send a letter to Oregon City, to let the people caring for Davey know when she’d be returning. Of course, she’d also have to let them know why. Her original plan was to spend a few days getting to know her intended, then break the news to him that she was a mother. She figured her chance of getting married was about 50/50. With so little money, she was counting on the nuptials to save her – and him.
She hadn’t counted on reality slapping her in the face once she got to Independence. Julian was handsome, strong, kind and a businessman. He’d want to start his own family, not have one ready-made for him. But her alternatives weren’t bright. Sure, there were men in Oregon City who would take her and Davey on, but most of them were twice her age, and might look at Davey as little more than slave labor once he got older. By the time he was twelve or fourteen, he’d be worked to the bone.
She didn’t want that for her son. She wanted him to at least have a childhood, and though it would involve work, at least it would be the normal work of any boy, not that of a slave.
Ellie got up and went to the small desk near the window. She found some paper, pen and ink, and set to work writing her letter. When she was done she found an envelope, addressed it, then went downstairs to get her shawl. She’d finished her duties for Mrs. Brock and had some free time before she’d have to prepare supper.
Come to think of it, she might as well get a few things at the mercantile that she would need for later. She and Mrs. Brock had come up with a weekly meal plan, and the woman had left money in a small jar in the kitchen for Ellie to draw from. She went to it now, extracted a few coins, and left to mail her letter.
She was just passing the bookshop when Professor Hamilton stepped onto the boardwalk. “Good afternoon, Miss Sampson. How are you?”
“Very well, thank you,” she said and went to move past him.
“You haven’t come to see my bookshop yet. Would you do me the honor?”
She stopped and peered around him into the shop’s interior and practically drooled. She loved to read, but hadn’t the time since her arrival. Besides, her mind was so jumbled from worry that she didn’t think she could concentrate enough to read anyway. “Perhaps another time, Professor. I really need to mail this letter, then go to the mercantile.”
“Certainly, my dear. But when you do get a chance to come in, I have some lovely books on fashion and decorum you might enjoy.”
“Fashion and decorum?” she asked in confusion.
“Oh yes. Your current occupation has you with people well-versed in both, so I thought it might be nice if you knew everything they do.”
Ellie thought a moment. He was right, of course – she could use the education if, say, she returned to Oregon City and took a maid’s position there. That is, if she didn’t decide to stay on in Independence. But then, either way she was back to square one – what would she do about Davey? Who would take care of him during the day? She shuddered with the thought and pulled her shawl tightly around her.
“Is something wrong?”
“No, not at all. When I have the time, I’ll come browse your shop.”
“We’ll be here,” the Professor said with a smile. “Mr. Winters had me rearrange everything, so the books are actually in order now. I prefer to search, that’s part of the fun. But he likes everything shipshape.”
She smiled, nodded and continued on her way. When she reached the mercantile she went straight to the counter. Several women were milling around, talking with the shop keeper. “Excuse me,” Ellie interrupted. “Can I mail this here?”
“Of course,” said the young shopkeeper. “Let me have it. You must be Ellie.”
Ellie stared at her. How did she know who she was?
The young woman saw her confusion and smiled. “I’m Daisy Tindle, Morgan’s wife? I haven’t been minding the mercantile the times you and Betsy have come in, but my mother-in-law has told me all about you.
One of the other women standing nearby, who seemed almost like a high-society debutante, smiled at Ellie. “Hello, I’m Winnie Adams. My husband’s the pastor here in town. We look forward to seeing you in church.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Ellie said and forced a smile. The other two women smiled as well before they went to inspect a box of vegetables.
“How do you like working for the Vanders?” asked Daisy.
“Oh… I like it fine,” Ellie said, feeling more nervous by the second. She didn’t want to be talking to this woman, or anyone, about herself. But it was hard – the people here were so nice and were only trying to be kind to her. The truth was, she was beginning to like Independence a lot. But she couldn’t afford to get close to anyone here.
One of the women near the vegetable box turned to Daisy. “Are you getting any new fabric in soon?”
“Next week, I suspect.”
“I hear there’s going to be a Valentine’s dance this year,” said the other woman.
“Yes, that’s what I heard,” said Winnie. “Ellie, have you heard anything? You work in the Vanders’ home, after all, and committee meetings for anything are always held there.”
Ellie stared at her. It looked like she was going to have to engage, whether she wanted to or not. “They’ve been talking about it, but … I don’t know details. You’d have to ask Mrs. Vander, I suppose.”
One of the women was about to comment when Julian walked in. He took them in all at once, his eyes settling on Ellie. “Good afternoon, ladies,” he said with a tip of his hat.
“Good afternoon, Julian,” Winnie greeted him. “I haven’t seen much of you lately.”
“I’ve been preoccupied,” he volunteered as he strolled up to the counter. “Good afternoon, Ellie,” he added, his voice softened.
She felt a blush creep into her cheeks. “Good afternoon.”
“My, my, Daisy, you seem to be busy,” he said as he slowly turned to her. “Is Morgan around?”
“I’m afraid he isn’t. He and Mr. Tindle went up to Salem today.”
“Oh, sorry to hear that. I wanted to speak to him about something.” He sighed. “Well, it’ll have to wait.”
“Is there anything I can get you?” Daisy asked.
Julian looked into Ellie’s eyes. “Did you need anything? I could help you carry it home.”
Ellie shivered. She couldn’t afford to be around him, it was too dangerous. Every time she was, she felt as if she would melt into a puddle. She couldn’t take her eyes off him, she couldn’t speak ... good gracious, what was she to do?!
“Ellie?” Daisy asked. “Did you bring a list?”
Ellie’s jaw trembled with the effort it took to tear her gaze from Julian’s. She nodded numbly, reached into her reticule and pulled out her coins.
Daisy watched as she placed them on the counter but said nothing. Winnie smiled, covered her mouth with her hand and turned away. Daisy watched as she joined the other women then looked between Julian and Ellie. “Perhaps you’d best help her, Julian.
I don’t think she should walk home alone.”
“Ellie,” he said, concerned. “Is something wrong?”
Ellie shook her head, still unable to talk. What was wrong with her? For Heaven’s sake, how could a man render her so speechless? “I … I just need … a few things,” she said, breathless. If this kept up she’d never be able to leave Independence.
But would that be so bad? Whether she was in Independence or Oregon City, she’d still have to carve a life out for herself, and wouldn’t it be safer to stay? Surely she could figure out something. She stared up at Julian, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. Would he … could he … accept her son?
She shook her head and turned to the counter. What sort of fool was she? She wasn’t married to him – she wasn’t even courting him! “Sugar,” she said. “I need some sugar …”
Nine
Julian watched with concern as Ellie turned toward the counter and ordered a pound of sugar from Daisy. She was clearly upset about something, but he didn’t know what it was. Had he said something wrong? All he’d done was greet her and ask if she needed any help; Daisy was the one who’d suggested he escort her home. Why was she so quiet all of a sudden?
He decided to stay quiet himself as Daisy helped Ellie with her order: the sugar, a sack of flour, a few vegetables. He wondered what she was going to make for supper that night. Garrett had informed him of Ellie’s schedule, so he knew that this particular day she was at Mrs. Brock’s beck and call.
As soon as Daisy had everything wrapped, he scooped the packages up in his arms and smiled at Ellie. “I’m getting good at this,” he teased.
She smiled at him as her eyes flicked toward the door. “You’ve done it often enough now,” she said, before thanking Daisy.
“Don’t mention it,” Daisy said, but cast a worried glance at Julian.
He gave her a small nod in understanding – something was definitely wrong with Ellie – then held his arm out. “Let’s go.”
Ellie hesitated to take it, and took a deep breath as if to brace herself. He had to fight the urge to grab her to him and hold her tight. It was overwhelming, and he swallowed hard against it. “Ellie,” he said as he leaned toward her. “Is there something you need?”
She shook her head, wrapped her arm in his and started toward the door.
He followed her lead and they left the mercantile. As soon as they were on the boardwalk he looked at her. “Do you have to get right back to the Brocks?”
“I… well, I…” She acted as if the question took her by surprise. Did she not want to be with him? The thought rankled and he flexed the arm she was holding in response, pulling her close. That urge to protect and comfort her was growing, and he didn’t know how to make it stop. He started walking while trying to figure out a way to spend time with her. “I hear the Professor got some new books in.”
“Oh. He mentioned he had some he wanted to show me.”
“When did you speak with him?”
“Just before I came to the mercantile. He said I should peruse his shop one day.”
“And well you should – it’s a fine little bookshop. I daresay a lot of us would’ve gone crazy without a good book to read this last winter.”
She said nothing, only smiled at him before staring straight ahead.
His mind made up, he slowed his pace when they neared the bookshop and pulled her toward the door. “What are you doing?”
“Well, as you don’t have anything pressing this afternoon, did you think it’s a good time to … peruse?”
“Oh, but I-I- …”
“If you can’t just spit it out, then nothing urgent requires your attention.” Her mouth hung open as she stared up at that. Ah, he thought. He had her there. “Come now, Miss Sampson. I’m not that bad, am I?”
“What?”
“My company. Don’t tell me I’m … less than desirable in that department.”
“Oh no, no,” she said as she shook her head. “Of course not, it’s just that …”
“What?” he asked as he opened the door and ushered her through.
She took in the sight of the many books and the smiling Professor Hamilton before she looked at him again. “Quite the opposite … actually.” Suddenly she snapped her mouth shut and covered it with one hand.
He smiled, pleased with her slip. Good – the feeling was mutual. “Shall we commence our perusal?”
She breathed a sigh of relief at his not addressing her remark and nodded as the Professor got up from his chair. “Hello again,” she told him.
“Good afternoon. What brings you here, Julian? Escorting the young lady home?”
“It’s my new job of late.”
The Professor beamed as he looked at them both. “Is it, now? And tell me, how do you like it?”
Julian glanced at Ellie, whose face had gone red. “I like it very much,” he said with a smile, never taking his eyes off her.
The Professor beamed. “I was just telling Miss Sampson here about some books I had that she might be interested in. I’ll go fetch them.” He turned on his heel and, with a bounce in his step, disappeared into the stacks
Julian continued to gaze at her as her eyes darted around the place. He loathed the thought of letting go of her, but if he didn’t, it would make it harder for her to discover the shop’s many delights. Reluctantly, he extracted her arm from his, then went to the counter and set down the packages. “Go ahead, Ellie, take a look around and see if you find something you like.”
She looked at him nervously, then strode to the nearest set of shelves and began to read the spines.
“Here we are,” said Professor Hamilton. He emerged between the stacks with several tomes in his hands and set them on the counter. “As promised, Miss Sampson.”
She looked at him, then at the small stack, and smiled.
“Oh, go ahead and browse before you look at these. It’s quite all right. Julian, I think I might have something for you too.”
“Oh? What would that be?”
“Julian has a hobby,” the Professor announced.
That got Ellie’s attention. She straightened up from a lower shelf and looked at him. “A hobby?”
“Professor,” Julian groaned as he rolled his eyes.
“Now, now, there’s nothing wrong with it,” the Professor said.
Julian turned to Ellie. “It’s nothing, really.”
“Hardly,” the Professor scolded. “Miss Sampson, are you fond of miniatures?”
“Miniatures?”
“Yes. Julian here’s a fine craftsman and has carved some delightful objects.”
“He has?” Ellie asked, her eyes brighter than before.
“Last year he made me a chessboard, pieces and all. And he made the Edmonson children toys for Christmas – there’s seven of them, so they haven’t much to spend on gifts with all those mouths to feed. He made a fine rocking horse for little Elizabeth.”
He shrugged. “It’s … not a big deal, really.” But Ellie was staring at him now in awe, which made him puff out his chest a little in pride. “Okay, I admit I really liked that horse.”
“How long does it take you to make one?” Ellie asked.
“I whittled away on that one for some time - a couple of years, in spare moments here or there. Most of what I make I give away – after all, what am I going to do with a rocking horse?”
“So… you like making toys?”
“It passes the time, and it relaxes me. Besides, it’s fun to watch the children’s eyes light up when I give them something.”
“Not to mention my eyes when he gave me that chess set,” added the Professor.
Ellie giggled.
The sound sent a thrill up Julian’s spine. He smiled at her as his eyes roamed her hair, and tentatively he reached out and touched it. “I could make you some combs if you’d like. I could make you … a lot of things.”
She reached up and took his hand in hers. “Like what?”
He gazed into her eyes and s
wallowed. “Anything you want.”
Professor Hamilton stood nearby, smiling at them. He set the woodworking book on top of the ones he’d retrieved for Ellie, and quietly snuck away.
* * *
Ellie tried to look away, but couldn’t – Julian had captured her with his gaze. How was she going to escape him? And did she want to? Unfortunately, she already knew the answer. “Mr. Smythe,” she breathed.
“Julian,” he corrected.
She shook her head, unable to speak again. The charming shop, the Professor’s smile, the handsome Julian Smythe holding her hand … it was all too much. Her stomach knotted, and with a sniffle she tried to turn away.
He pulled her back. “Ellie …”
She looked at him, closed her eyes tight, opened them again. It didn’t help. What was she going to do?! It was becoming apparent that if Julian had his way, she wasn’t going anywhere. But was that what she wanted? No, I can’t, she thought to herself. Davey …
Her lower lip trembled and she stifled a whimper. She felt so torn between her responsibility toward her son and this man holding her hand and … dare she say, her heart? She closed her eyes again at the thought. Oh no, not that! Had he stolen her heart already?
She noticed his eyes were filled with something she hadn’t seen before. What was it? They’d darkened, and he’d tightened his hold on her hand. Without a word he led her into the stacks.
A minute later, they found the Professor, who seemed surprised to see them. “Is there something else the two of you needed?”
“Nothing specific,” Julian stated. “We were … just looking around.”
The Professor looked at the trembling Ellie quizzically. But he didn’t ask her anything, instead directing them into a little corner full of books. “I think you’ll find some interesting things in here. In the meantime, I’ll be up front. Enjoy yourselves.”
Ellie watched him go as Julian continued to stare down at her. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her since they stopped. “What?” she finally asked.